//------------------------------// // Di: Sa'tamari ~ Pain // Story: The Chronicle of Tau Niem: Out of Place // by Jack-Pony //------------------------------// Hours later, once I had a chance to rest, I stood before the mirror once more. The emerald eyes that stared back were mine, for the first time in a long time. Their cold, unrelenting gaze unnerved me. Those eyes reminded me of my past, one so long ago, so distant, one would think it forgot. But like any good scar, it remained within, reminding me that my past was real. Hoping to distract myself, I brushed my long, brown hair, to make it more manageable; but as I did, I found my hand ever returning to my chin. It was odd, I didn’t have the mental separation from my last life that I had grown used to, the veil between lives seemed almost paper thin. Even now, I felt like my face was naked, that there should’ve been a beard there, though I had never had one myself. Oh, the joys of metaphysics…me, myself and I! I’d be lying if I said I felt refreshed, but at least I now had my head on straight - well straighter. Could my head even be on ‘straight’ after what had happened? I wholeheartedly doubted it... Distracting myself, I inspected my robes to find that they had been cleaned while I was unconscious the day before. I could tell because they smelled of lilac, a scent that while tolerable was not something I would’ve ever applied upon my robes. Nor was it present on Kelovo, only Earth and Equis, it seemed. Opening the large doors to the equally large hallway beyond, a pair of guards snapped to attention, glancing at me as I walked out of the room. I regarded the spear-armed ponies one at a time and upon confirming that neither were ones that I had assaulted the day before, I smiled. “At ease boys,” I said kindly, drawing suspicious glances from the two, “I’m ex-military. You don’t have to guard me, alright?” I looked to them both, “Just show me to the princesses, they’re expecting me.” “As you say.” The guard pony to my right, a unicorn in the same golden armor as his pegasus companion to my left nodded and began leading me down the hall in the same direction as his partner. After a long bout of silence, I finally felt compelled to speak. “So I take it you’ve heard of my arrival from your fellows?” They both nodded in response, “I see.” We conveniently arrived at an even larger set of double doors then and the armored, unicorn stallion looked me square in the eyes, with the most intimidating gaze I could’ve imagined from a pony. “They’re right in there.” He motioned with his head, “…and let me be clear-” “I got you.” I assured him, “By my honor, I hold no ill will against your kin or kind.” He remained silent a moment, regarding my eyes before speaking, “They’re waiting.” He reminded me flatly. I nodded to him and with a gentle wave of my hands, preemptively opened the doors telekinetically. The entire hall was decorated with banners and pennants, enhancing the majesty of the hall of marble and gold. The large windows that lined either side were of stained glass and seemed to show important events in history of Equestria. The sound of opening doors drew many sets of eyes toward me. The Princesses were there, as were eight other ponies and…a baby dragon? Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were at the head of the large table, but it took me a moment to remember the others’ names… Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike, sat next to Celestia on one side. Across from them and next to Luna, sat the white unicorn stallion with a blue mane that I recalled was Twilight’s elder-brother, Shining Armor; and next to him, his pink alicorn wife, with the pretty, multicolored mane, Princess Cadence. I paused a moment in realization that I just described an equine as ‘pretty’, but I found myself unable to deny it. Her color scheme was appealing to look at and her large, violet eyes made her rather desirable in appearance. I was then forced to acknowledge that all of them had this trait, making them look ‘cute’ if not, adorable. The pale unicorn with the imperious purple that was Rarity took no effort to remember, nor did her striking visage. The ecstatic pink package of ADHD that moonlighted as a pony and went by the name of Pinkie Pie, was actually sitting somewhat calmly between both Rarity and Twilight. Rainbow Dash was sitting next to Shining Armor and the orange pony beside her took a moment to recall as Applejack, until I saw her cutie mark. The timid Fluttershy all but melted into invisibility, the fact that I caused such a reaction slightly depressed me. “Ah, Tau Niem, I’m glad to see you could make it,” Celestia said with a smile. At that moment, my diplomatic instincts kicked in, and I knew what I needed to do. Thankfully, Princess Celestia was working with me, even if she didn’t know it... “I am honored to be in your presence.” I placed my right fist over my heart and bowed my head, careful to keep my eyes on their royal visages. The two Princesses at the head of the table looked at me with happy smiles, but a part of me realized it they were purely for show – they were afraid of me, and for that I was wholly to blame. Next to them, Princess Cadence tried to hide her look of fearful curiosity. Rainbow Dash was all but glaring at me, and Applejack gazed at me critically, while Fluttershy timidly examined me. On the other side of the table, Spike looked at me with a mix of fear and giddy curiosity. Twilight looked at me with a genuine smile, apparently, her words only carried so much weight, but at least I had someone backing me. Rarity’s fear, if she had any, was well hidden, her eyes beheld me and my clothes carefully, without giving away anything. It was no surprise that when my eyes drifted over to where Pinkie Pie had been sitting, that she was no longer there… “Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed, jumping up onto my chest to look me in the eyes, which thankfully didn’t hurt as one might assume being leapt upon by a pony would, “I still can’t believe it, a real life alien! Do you like parties!?” She drilled me, leaning in close enough to touch noses. “I do.” I smiled modestly and responded with a chuckle. Her smile rivaled the sun, well, metaphorically. “Great!” She exclaimed leaping off of me, “I’ll have to throw you a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party! Ooh, I can’t wait!” She belted out at near the speed of sound, her words blending together, before she started bouncing off the walls – she really was as hyper as they made her out to be! Now I only had one more pony that I knew I needed the approval of… I looked to Shining Armor, as Pinkie bounced about the room. “Guard Captain?” I hailed him, drawing a surprised look from every pony, save the already occupied Pinkie Pie. “Yes?” Shining Armor glanced to his Princesses, before turning back to me. “Might we speak personably?” I asked indicating the head of the table. He looked to Celestia, who nodded in the affirmative. He promptly stood and cantered the length of the table toward me, where I stood at its end. He turned the corner and only then realized that he had to look up at me. He appeared to be tall by pony standards, but was still shorter than myself by a decent margin. Thus, I took a knee before him, so I could be closer to eye level. In a low volume, I addressed him. “They’re just outside, are they not? The guards from yesterday?” “How’d you know that?” He whispered back at me in shock. “It’s what I would do.” I smiled smartly to cover the pain as I lied, when in truth, I could sense their presence, “Could you summon them please? Just the ones that I assailed?” He looked into my eyes for a moment, before nodding and taking a step back. Stomping his hoof twice, he called out to them, “First group!” Before long, a handful of ponies, five in count, appeared from a hidden passage in the side of the wall. They formed up next to him in a line abreast. I remained on my knee, but turned slightly to address them. “I wish to formally apologize for my actions the previous eve.” My announcement caused each of them to glance at their comrades, “I recognize your valor and dedication as warriors, and beg that you agree to renounce your animosity. I swear on kin and kind that I feel no ill will toward your liege, land, or kin.” With that, I withdrew a concealed blade, that they somehow did not discover the prior day when they had disrobed me. In one swift motion, I drew it across my left palm, eliciting a gasp from several of the dinner guests. The wound quickly closed before their eyes, and ceased bleeding… “If any of you would have your revenge, for the insult upon your person, I ask that you seek it now…” The golden-armored ponies looked at each other, unsure of what to do, before turning back to me without a word – I was forgiven. I promptly turned to Shining Armor… “As their commander and the protector of this citadel, I ask the same of you. Will you reconcile with me?” This time, Shining Armor did not look to his Princesses. He took a few paces forward and slugged me in the jaw with a hoof. Eliciting yet more gasps, especially from the Princesses. Even Pinkie stopped bouncing to watch the scene. “Shining Armor!” Celestia exclaimed in shock, though neither of us acknowledged it. I did not react, except to look back at him. Our eyes spoke in place of our words, at that moment, I knew where his heart lay. He was loyal and honorable to a fault. “I understand.” I nodded. “Then rise, the floor is no place for one of honor.” He offered me his hoof. With his help, more symbolic than necessary, I rose from the floor. Once on my feet, I readjusted my grip and shook his hoof. We had an understanding. “Friends?” I asked raising an eyebrow. “Friends.” He nodded with a grin. I still had two more to make amends with. Looking to the Princesses, I began walking to the head of the table. This time, Shining Armor and his guards looked on, curious as to how I’d react. Reaching the other end, the two princesses had risen from their cushions to face my approach, Celestia to my left and Luna to my right. In a move that shocked them all, Celestia no less, I took to my knees and bowed my head to her, regarding the floor. “I have yet to beg your forgiveness, your magnificence. By rights, I was to be executed by your h…hoof, yet you spared my life. In what way might I repay your kindness?” I asked, afraid of what she might request, or worse yet, the possibility of having to deny her. “Stop, please.” She demanded gently, and I raised my head, to end nuzzle to face with her, “You owe me nothing. All I ask is that you do not bring harm to any of my little ponies.” “Done.” I stated without a thought, “By my name and honor, I swear I shall not harm hide, nor hair of your subjects.” I bowed my head once more. “Then you are forgiven,” she said kindly. Raising my head, I turned and scooted over before Luna, who glanced nervously towards her sister. This time I fell to my hands and kissed her forehoof. Though I did not see it, her face turned bright red. Raising my head just enough to speak, I remained face down. “Princess Luna, I have your words to thank for my life. You spoke for my quality after I had attacked you. You defended my life, my honor, when I could not. That is noble beyond words.” At this, I looked up to see her dark-teal eyes regarding me in confusion, “For that, my life is yours. I will protect your person with every fiber of my being, so long as I yet breathe.” “N-no. You don’t, you can’t…” She stuttered. “I can and I must. It is required of me, by the ancient warrior code of my forebears.” I slammed my right fist into my heart, “I do not ask anything of you, nor would I. Merely call upon me if ever you have need.” “I-” she began, only to realize that I would not take no for an answer, and swallowed in resignation, “Very well.” “I shall not fail you.” I took her forehoof in my hands, a look of determination in my eyes, “Horto-gur’has Tau Niem A Ne Ni Nei Vas Kelovo k’jit Karai Negai um’baret’um Lang A Danarii.” “Please…” Luna begged me, blushing slightly. “As you will.” I nodded, gently releasing her hoof and slowly rising. “Well…” Celestia finally spoke, breaking the awkward stares of everyone in attendance, “Tau Niem?” She did not wait long for my attention, “If you would, the other end of the table’s for you.” “Thank you.” I said humbly and slowly made my way to the end of the table, between Applejack and Rarity. Taking my seat, a colorful, maroon cushion, Princess Celestia addressed me once more. “Twilight Sparkle was unaware of your diet, so I’m afraid that we’re unsure of your tastes? Shall we acquire some meat from the Griffin embassy?” she said, trying her best to accept my strange eating tastes. “That’s quite alright, I shall see to arranging some myself,” I said dismissively, “I am more than happy with baked-goods. For the most part, much of your diet will satisfy my hunger.” “Very well, I imagine dinner will be served momentarily then,” she said with a smile. “The old mares tales say that Humans’ greed rivaled dragons, does that mean you eat gems too?” Twilight glared at her assistant, reminding him of what she had told him, “I mean, I know that your people are not Humans…” I smiled. “No.” I answered simply, saving him from himself, “It was greed for the sake of greed. We do not eat gems, nor minerals, like gold, or silver.” “Phew.” He sighed, “More for me.” The two of us laughed, the tension broken. Much of the remainder of the evening was light conversation. They were all eager to hear of my origins, especially Twilight. A part of me wondered if she weren’t taking mental notes of my responses? Applejack was especially interested when I told her of the Kelovo trees, for which my home-planet was named, though everypony found it hard to believe in trees more than a mile tall! Perhaps the fact that I too grew up on an orchard endeared myself to her? It certainly seemed that way… Rarity of course enquired about what my people wore, more specifically, what I wore. Before long, I ended up on the subject of the Imperators’ elaborate garb, to which she listened with rapt attention of my description of their multi-layered robes, accented in colored glyph-patterns, their entire design a holdover from ancient times, when we were a desert people on our homeworld. This of course led to the Princesses inquiring on our government. The concept of a functioning meritocracy astounded them all, to the point where I wondered if mentioning it were a good idea? Inevitably, the fact that we inhabited many systems dawned on them. The idea of our colonization of the stars both thrilled and frightened them, a reaction that was expected. Though I left out much of the trials and tribulations intentionally, they still seemed somewhat shocked, but I noticed that despite her attempts to hide it, Rainbow Dash was listening intently. One might go so far as to say eagerly? Pinkie, aside from a few comments now and again, seemed perfectly content just being in my company. Fluttershy eventually asked a few meek questions, regarding everyday life, and I honestly felt I was giving a pale representation of how we lived. The towering cities of millions, or even billions, abruptly ending, making way for nature to thrive around us particularly interested her, for a time. Before long, we were back on the subject of families and I was eagerly telling about my family that I had left behind. The multi-generational homestead founded on the southern of Kelovo’s two islands, near the long extinct volcano. Orchards and farms surrounded our homestead, our family and those like ours that worked them, produced the bulk of the food for the planet’s fifty-six million population – a population that I pointed out was small by even colonial standards! “What of yourself?” Cadence asked, drawing my attention, “Do you have a partner? A mate?” I froze in place, dropping one of the grapes I had been snacking on in between questions. Several of them followed the grape with their eyes, as it bounced across the table. Only Pinkie and Luna instantly assumed the answer to the question, a gentle sadness crossing their faces, as a lance of pain tore through my chest, the wound ripped open once more… “Ele’ei eh noctorumi.” The words rang hollow in my ears, a deep horn in the silence, “She is dead.” “I am so sorry…” Cadence blushed sheepishly. “You could not have known,” I said dismissively, my eyes downcast, before slowly and carefully standing, failing to prevent my eyes from watering, “If you’ll excuse me, I think I shall retire…” I bowed and excused myself promptly. I had been such a fool! Speaking of my past, I should’ve known it had to come up sooner rather than later. I waved off the guards that were tasked with watching me and headed back to the room given to me by the Princesses. The two still followed me nonetheless, but at least they weren’t right next to me, to see me in such a state. Closing the door with a thud, I threw my back upon it and let out a pained sigh. After all these years, the wounds in my mind were still fresh. My other lives had softened the edges of my loss while I had lived them, but now that I was back, in my own body, I found the emptiness to be just as sharp and cutting as it was before…more so even? I slumped down upon the door, trying not to lose my dinner in the gut-wrenching despair of a reminder. So desolate was I that I missed Princess Luna landing on my balcony and even her calling out to me. It was only when she nuzzled the side of my head, that I snapped out of it and looked over to see her. “Please, don’t look upon me. I dishonor her memory with my tears…” I said shaking my head and looking away in shame, “Just give me a moment to compose myself.” “It’s alright,” she said nuzzling my neck more slowly and more out of compassion this time, “...there’s no dishonor in mourning.” “There is to me.” I choked back my tears, “Our people are to wail away our sorrows of the passing, then live life in their memory. That’s the only way that they may live on…” I finally turned to her, with red eyes, “…but what life is there to be had without her? She was the light that cast off my night, her breath sweeter than the summer fruit…” I tried and failed to fight back the wave of coming tears, before jumping to my feet and exclaiming, “Oh, look at me! Why am I even telling you this? Why should you care?” “Why would I let you suffer through this alone?” she said, coming up behind me and laying her head on my shoulder, “It’s only through caring that we can overcome ourselves.” I turned my head in response, just enough to glance at her through teary eyes, “Tell me what happened…?” I sighed and walked the few feet to the bed, to sit upon the edge. Luna walked up and gracefully sat before my feet. I breathed deeply, fighting back the memories that danced before my eyes like waking dreams, but rather nightmares. “We were exploring beyond our lands, when she was taken from me. Murdered.” The word shocked her, just the thought alone frightening her, “Our ship was boarded by monsters, more metal than beast. She fought them bravely, saving several of our crewmates, far above and beyond what was expected of her. She even drew away the one that was making for me…the one that would gut her like a fish, before she killed it!” The floodgates broke at that moment, “I-I made it to her, to watch her die. I watched the love of my life pass beyond-beyond the veil. Her light extinguished…and I died with her there in my arms!” I was amazed I could speak still, for I could no longer see Luna through my tear-filled eyes. The grief and pain consuming my vision, that horrid moment playing back as it had a thousand thousand times before, and it was never any different, “Everything that makes a man, died. I became a beast…in my rage...” Though I held my hands before the two of us, I do not recall seeing them at all. Nor do I recall Luna’s tender embrace, her soothing words, or the tears we shed. All I saw was the fading of my love’s eyes before my own. The cold numbness swallowing the world as the terrors finally overcame me and I slipped into unconsciousness, left to fight my demons once more in the land of dreams… ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Luna regarded the pained creature beneath herself, running a hoof gently over his bloodshot face, before pawing away the tears. So much sorrow in such a small thing. Her wings ran up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him, and she felt helpless as she sat there. She wished that there was something she could do to ease his mind. Then it struck her, there was something she could do… Diving into his mind was like diving into a pool of molasses that tried to fight every movement and impeded all progress. Then all at once, the resistance vanished and she found herself within. However, what had started as a sigh of relief, quickly became an uneasy feeling. What she found within was as alien as his form. His mind was a stark pallor, utterly devoid of life or emotion, quite the contrast to his outward appearance. It was like suddenly being thrust into a silent movie. Shadows of light and dark, danced here and there. Incoherent splashes of color died lonely and miserable amidst the ocean of grayscale. Slowly, the images began to resolve themselves. Though what started out as a wasteland was steadily becoming ever more threatening as the shapes encroached upon her. Then within the mirk, the familiar form of a biped began to resolve. Without a hesitation, Luna bounded toward the individual. She was relieved when the form continued to solidify, becoming ever more whole. Only, when the figure was revealed, she found herself skidding to a halt before the bloodied form of another Danårian, a gaping chest wound had stained a dark-gray coat and blood still dripped slowly from its lacerated arms. Slowly, entrancingly so, it lifted its right hand, a sheathed sword held out in offering. It regarded her with darkened sockets devoid of eyes. “Os eh let…” It breathed, then fell dead. The sheathed sword landed with a mute clatter and slid across ghastly ground, skittering to a stop at Luna’s hooves. She regarded the object for a long moment, curious as to its identity and purpose. In the waking world, she would know it was a weapon, it had an aura about it that cried out its cruel purpose, but in a dream… Looking up, she was startled to note that the wounded warrior was no more. Not simply dead, but gone. “T-Tau Niem?” Luna called out hesitantly. When nothing and no one replied, she looked down at her hooves. The sword still lay there, silently beckoning her to pick it up. When her magic enveloped it, the object complied willingly to her command, floating before her face, even as she drew the gunmetal-gray blade from its resting place. It was beautiful, elegant even, in a manner that she had never seen a weapon be before. A single sharp edge with a powerful spine and just the slightest hint of curvature, making it almost straight, but not quite. It was well cared for, as she could tell from the blemishes that spoke of countless battles, its owner relying on it unerringly. It was as loved, as it was dangerous. The shadows descended upon her with a ravenous hunger seeking to swallow her up, to make her one with the darkness. Without thinking, the sword cut through the air and shadow alike. She would not let the darkness take her once more. In that moment, sword and mare became one, battling back the pallor and gloom. With each stroke, a path out of the darkness began to form, a tunnel of light, a hope. She galloped for it, tendrils grasping at her legs and withers and neck, threatening to stop her, but it was not enough. She broke from the black and into the light...a light that twisted into a new and oppressive gloom. She found herself in a smoke-filled hall slightly narrower than her wingspan, its walls were made of scarred metal that had been split open, sending sparks kicking intermittently into the air. At the opposite end, stood a hunched figure. A familiar figure. Tau Niem. Luna went to step forward, only to note an obstacle underhoof. She slowly withdrew the limb as she regarded a giant of a beast, covered in Lapis Lazuli plates, dented and painted in gore. Slowly looking up, there was another and another and another, before finally Tau Niem stood over the last, breathing deeply as if out of breath. Surely he could not have done such a thing? Any illusions she had were shattered as she beheld one of the creature's severed arms in his right hand, its gnarled end still upon the beaten chest of his last victim. The man took one last deep breath before falling to the deck plating as he released the limb. Luna released the sword and galloped over the bodies strewn about the narrow corridor, only to inch the last few hooves toward him, her ears standing attentively. What she heard was his gentle chuckle, laughter at the edge of madness, a soul beyond her help… “Just a dream, it’s just a dream...won’t someone wake me from this darkness…?”