Crisis of Infinite Twijacks

by ObabScribbler


1. Zombie Apocalypse

1. Zombie Apocalypse

Twilight hunkered down and tried not to breathe too loud. Her throat hurt. Her hooves hurt. Her belly hurt. Every atom of her wanted to fall on her side and cry until they found her or she died of exhaustion: whichever came first. She did neither of those things. Instead, she pressed into the lee of the broken wall and tried to become one with the masonry.

She heard the slavering before the tell-tale drag-slap of mismatching legs. How many did this one have? Maybe if it was just one, she could handle it. Those moved so slowly even somepony like her could jump on a skull and come out victorious. She closed her eyes and listened intently.

At least two distinctive hoofsteps. One was squelchier than the other. Rotting flesh maybe? The earth was dry and cracked from lack of rain so it wasn’t mud. Was that the sound of a torso being dragged along behind it? Or just her imagination hoping for something a scared filly could actually fight without dy-

A scream interrupted her thoughts. Her eyes flew open, taking in the sudden immensity of putrid mouth and shiny black spittle in her vision. Twilight squealed and dived sideways, narrowly avoiding the ghoul’s jaws trying to clamp on her neck. Her nose landed perilously close to straggly, shredded guts and she cursed herself for concentrating so much on the thing outside that she had missed the one in here with her.

“Flessssssshhhhhhhh …”

The thing shrieked, spraying her with tar-like ichor. Twilight scrambled and slid through its guts, tiny hooves skidding in putrefaction. Then she ran. She heard it continue to shriek behind her, accompanied by a similar noise from the one outside. More joined the ruckus, drawn by the cries. She was trapped. If she went outside, she would be caught. If she stayed in here, they would get in through the holes in the walls and useless, empty doorframes.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She kept running into the next room, which turned out to be a kitchen. She fumbled her way onto the counter. Height, she thought vaguely. Get out of their reach. Standing amidst the pots and pans, she craned her neck to look out the broken window. Ghouls lurched across the street towards the house. She squeaked, backing off and nearly falling off the countertop.

Hide! whispered a desperate part of her brain. Find somewhere to hide out of their reach until they forget you’re even here.

It would not be the first time she had done that. Ghouls’ rotting brains could not hold onto more than base instincts and if you could stay hidden and silent for long enough, they eventually wandered away. Ever since the cursed Summer Sun Celebration that had started all this, Shining had drilled into her the importance of staying safe to stay alive. At first, he had insisted on it so that he could put himself in danger instead of her. He had been the food-forager, the shelter-finder, the one with the reassuring words when she was shivering at night. Now it was just her, frightened and trying her best to remember what he had taught her.

She clambered into a cupboard above the countertop, shoving her little body way in the back and pulling an old cloth shopping bag over her for good measure. Then she waited, trying hard not to shake, not to cry, not to breathe too loud.

She heard the ghoul that had nearly bitten her drag its way into the kitchen and slither across the floor. She heard another bump and stumble its way inside, groaning pitiably.

“Flessssssshhhhhhhh …”

More draggy footsteps. More ghouls. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Please don’t find me. Please don’t find me. Please don’t find me. Please don’t find me.

Something sniffed at the countertop where she had stood, like a dog tracking a scent in the old world; the world before the meteor bisected Celestia’s radiance at the ceremony and crashed in the middle of Canterlot, spreading its evil dust to replace all magic in Equestria with its own dark reanimation power.

Please don’t find me. Please don’t find me. Please don’t –

Hooves pawed awkwardly at the cupboard door.

“Flessssshhhh…”

No, no, no, no –

The door opened to reveal a ghoul with its lower jaw missing, tongue dangling limply down its exposed neck. It leaned in, slurring their horrible mantra into the cloth shopping bag that was no real protection against anything.

“Flesssssshhhhhhhh…”

“Get outta there, y’varmint!”

And then it was gone.

Noise. Splatters. Crunches. The ghouls stopped begging for flesh in a hail of splotchy, crunchy sounds that resolved into perfect, uncanny silence. Twilight’s breath caught in her throat. Was she dead? Had her spirit lifted out of her body so she would not have to endure the feelings that went with the noise of her own dismemberment?

“You okay in there, sugarcube?” asked a high-pitched, nasally voice.

Ghouls could not say more than that one word. Carefully, Twilight inched her way to the lip of the cupboard and peered down.

An orange earth pony filly stood amid a sea of destruction. Her hind hooves were stained with gore from the crushed skulls around her. It was clear to Twilight what had happened, though her mind whispered that it could not be so. The filly was wearing a raincoat, equally stained with black blood, and carried a backpack that apparently had not impeded her ability to knock the unlife from those terrible creatures.

“Hi there,” she said, smiling up at Twilight. “I saw you run in here but by the time I got in the place, you were already hidin’. Smart move, by the way. If in doubt, wait ‘em out.” She nodded and her words carried the certainty of Shining’s survival advice. “You okay, sugarcube?”

Twilight nodded. “They … they didn’t bite me.”

The relief that washed across the filly’s face was momentary but honest. Twilight wondered whether she would have had any compunction about putting her down like the ghouls if she had been bitten.

“Mighty glad to hear that. You need a hoof down from there?”

Twilight shook her head and inelegantly crawled down from her hiding place. She winced when her hooves touched down in the spreading black pools.

“You got somewhere to be?” the orange filly asked carefully. “Somepony to be there with?”

Old grief rose in Twilight's gullet. She shook her head. “My parents were lost in the first wave. It used to be just me and my brother, but now … it’s just me.”

Again, the emotion that washed over the orange filly’s face was momentary but so achingly heartfelt that Twilight had to look away. She wasn’t ready to face pity yet. There was still a chance Shining was out there somewhere and just couldn’t get back to her yet.

“Right, I guess you better come with me then. My family an’ I hail from Ponyville but a couple of us headed up here to look for survivors amongst you unicorn folks.” She looked around at the bodies. “Didn’t feel right, us bein’ safe on the farm while others ain’t got a lick of protection. We’re all kinds of fortified there; safest place left in all of Equestria, I reckon.”

Twilight licked her lips. She had seen the corner of a loaf of bread poking from the filly’s backpack. Her belly grumbled and she was suddenly very aware of all her protruding ribs and hollow cheeks. “Is … is that?”

“Oh! Right.” The orange filly reached into it and broke off a chunk. She gave it to Twilight, who instinctively, even now, went to hold it with her magic before remembering and offering a hoof instead. “You can eat while we walk. That commotion might bring more o’ these pesky things an’ we don’t wanna be here when they arrive. C’mon.”

Twilight walked three legged, holding the bread to her mouth with one foreleg as they hurried out of the house and along the abandoned street. She took tiny bites, the better to swallow without liquid. Her insides sang with the introduction of fresh food that wasn’t freeze-dried, canned or putrefied. After a few more carefully navigated streets, they paused for Twilight to catch her breath and finish her last mouthful.

“Not far now," whispered the orange filly. "My Pa set up camp on the outskirts, since the ghouls like more built up areas. Ma an’ my Granny an’ big brother stayed home, on account of the foal’s comin’ soon an’ Ma may need my brother to stand guard while Granny delivers it. You’re the first survivor I done actually found in this awful city. But don’t worry, we got plenty of room at the farm.”

Twilight had never been to a farm before. She had lived in Canterlot all her short life. Shining too. Maybe that was why they had stayed; clinging to ridiculous familiarity in a world so unfamiliar.

Shining can find me on a farm, can’t he?

The orange filly turned to face her. “Shoot, I ain’t even introduced myself. I’m Applejack, by the way.”

“T-Twilight Sparkle.”

“Don’t worry, Twilight Sparkle. You’ll be safe with the Apple Family. We’ll look after you from now on.”