Chapter Twenty Eight: When Cakes are Tasteless
Written by TheCrimsonDM
Another morning and this time Celestia woke up to the sensation of something hitting her butt. For a moment she wondered what it was and realized with stark horror that Twilight was sleeping next to her. Somehow Celestia had become the little spoon during the night, and now Twilight was taking full advantage of that to hump her.
A million thoughts ran through Celestia’s head, anything from scolding Twilight to rolling over and just taking her then and there. She could also opt to completely ignore it. The last one had some appeal, let the mare finish her thing and never speak of it again. When after several minutes she began to realize the way Twilight was trying to hump her would result in neither party being able to enjoy themselves she dared a glance back over at Twilight. The mare had her eyes closed and was biting her lip. Her body was moving on its own. She was asleep.
Well at least it made Celestia’s choice easy. She simply got out of bed only to see Twilight continue moving in her sleep. It was likely the reason for this dream was due to a certain Princess of the Night. Celestia figured Luna would get her back for the cake monster last night, at least this prank wasn’t too bad.
Going to her balcony Celestia managed to raise the sun before returning inside and going through the few things she needed to make herself presentable in the morning. A light use of makeup, brushing her mane and tail, and a few practice smiles in the mirror. She’d let Twilight slumber and finish her dream, hopefully the sheets could handle such. The blanket was already wrapped around Twilight in a very possessive manner. Celestia attempted to not stare… at least she tried.
Leaving the room behind she knew she was going to have to get those sheets and blanket cleaned before night fell once more. For now she would choose to not think about it too much and instead focus on going to the breakfast table. Almost universally she had two breakfasts, the first was more for coffee and news and very much private. Or at least it usually was.
Rarity was in here and doing much the same thing that Celestia was. Drinking a cup of coffee and reading the news. Celestia took her usual seat and enjoyed the relative silence as she read the news. Taking a sip of her coffee she was unsurprised to see the headline for the day.
“Celestia and Luna plan to marry all six of the Elements of Harmony! Looks like Herds are the new trendsetter for our loving princess.”
Reading further, she realized the entire article was basically trying to suck up to Celestia and doing its best to talk about how Celestia had so much love to give she could not possibly give it only to one pony. Justifying a marriage such as this was probably not possible, but at least this newspaper learned from the mistakes of the last. She wondered how long that reporter was going to last on the sun. Point in fact, ponies could indeed survive there, assuming they could stand to not get eaten by the monsters living in the sun… she might set him free soon… maybe. Insinuations about Twilight were something she did not forgive easily and never forgot.
Rarity spoke reminding Celestia she was in fact not alone. “Seems that ponies are much more accepting of our marriage than I had hoped.”
Celestia cleared her throat. “Of course, they love their Princesses and would never, ever say anything bad about them. Once you’re a princess in full you’ll understand.”
Rarity smiled. “I simply cannot wait.”
Celestia smiled cruelly. “I do hope sharing us won’t be too troubling for you. We might not always have the time for you we wish we could.”
Rarity shrugged. “It’s alright, I have my Applepie if I need more love. So long as at least one of you is interested in me I will accept this.”
“I’m glad to hear it, unfortunately with how many brides we both have I fear Luna hasn’t been able to truly notice or appreciate your beauty yet.”
Rarity’s ear twitched. “I’m… sure she’ll notice soon.”
“I’m not so certain. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy have been very good at taking her attention. It might be challenging to stand out amongst those two.”
Rarity took a long slow drink from her coffee, set it down and said, “Then I only need to stand out more. Surely I can do that.”
Celestia offered a smile. “I’m sure you can.”
“Go big or go home as they say.”
Celestia gave a small nod of approval. With some luck this would cause a backlash effect that would make Luna realize this marriage was a mistake. Even if Celestia had decided she was going to marry Pinkie Pie and was still forced to marry Twilight, she didn’t like the idea of the whole six way marriage. Setting up a few thorns might just push the idea into Luna’s head that perhaps forcing a sudden marriage upon six ponies who might be very easily swayed to jealousy was a mistake.
Did this put Equestria into danger by potentially threatening the friendships of the elements of harmony? Probably, but it was well worth it. Or at least it was probably worth it.
***
It finally came time for breakfast/dinner and Celestia couldn’t wait. By this point everypony had awoken and this time Twilight was quick to take her seat next to Celestia. Across the table Celestia watched as Fluttershy and Rarity booth took up one of Luna’s sides snuggling in. Applejack was next to Rarity trying to look less jealous but failing utterly. Rainbow Dash meanwhile had taken Celestia’s free side but wasn’t forcing herself up against Celestia, the same could not be said for Twilight. This left Pinkie facing Applejack and smiling for the world.
It would seem seating patterns were going to change on a whim and could hardly be considered reliable. Still she had heard Twilight’s conversation with Fluttershy last night, and she was the lynchpin in her whole operation. Using her student’s obsession with her as a weapon felt a little wrong but at this point she wasn’t even sure she wanted to end the marriage because she didn’t like the idea. The more time she had to get closer to these mares the more she realized she needed to end it because she might actually like it.
Still it was a wonderful breakfast and she happily took to grabbing a slice of cake first. A rich chocolate cake with deep red icing on top of it. It smelled as delightful as it looked. Careful to take only a small bite first to savor the flavor she did so and froze. It tasted… wrong. It wasn’t very sweet. In fact it was kind of dull and bland tasting. It smelled good, it looked good but it tasted poor.
Luna was smiling from across the table. “Oh, do you enjoy your cake?”
Celestia set it down. “Luna.”
Luna took a slice of the same cake and ate it as if there were no problems. “Mmm, I do oh so love my cake. So sweet, so tasty.”
Rarity’s mouth was salivating as she watched Luna eating the cake slowly. Luna smiled and offered some of her piece to the mare. Fluttershy’s eyes narrowed as Rarity took a small bite. She chewed for a moment and she looked utterly confused. A forced smile grew over her lips. “It’s good, thank you my love.”
Luna laughed. “No need to thank me, I would share all that I have with my diamond.”
Rarity snuggled in.
Luna continued eating the cake as Celestia sat her piece down. She did something to it. Not sure what, but something. Pinkie Pie was the next to try a slice of cake and took one bite before swallowing and glaring at it. “Sugar free? That’s hardly fair.”
Celestia blinked. No, no she did not. If Luna somehow removed the sugar from the cake this would be a nightmare. Celestia quickly lit up her horn and teleported the chocolate cake out, summoning forth a new rainbow cake in its place. There, have at you Luna. She took a new slice out and took a bite.
Luna’s smile only grew as Celestia deadpanned the cake. H-how, she couldn’t have known Celestia would go for the rainbow one next. Another spell and a new cake. Carrot cake this time, not exactly her favorite but sweet in its own right. Another slice and another bite and she realized with stark horror what must have happened.
Celestia did not even think to tell anypony where she was going as this time she teleported herself to the cake room. There were dozens of cakes in here. She tried each and everyone. One slice, one bite at a time. None of these cakes were sweet. Even the fruit cake which was as hard a brick had been void of sweetness. Luna had sucked all the sugar from every single cake in the castle!
Celestia narrowed her eyes. “This, means, war.”
***
Fluttershy sat at the table enjoying some stew and potato rolls. Even if it was morning for her, she seemed to be adjusting to Luna’s schedule a little more. Of course she had a strange craving for apples all of a sudden, so she made sure to keep a few close by as well. This was turning out to be the life she never knew she wanted and could never again live without. Being fed, brushed, pampered and kissed. It really was like being a pet.
Thankfully this was not the first time the group vanished from town for extended periods of time. It was the curse of a hero she supposed. The protocol always had Spike trying to let everypony know what was going on and how long they may be gone. From the Apple Family to the Cakes and… well those were the only two families that needed to know… in fact it was a little sad to think that herself, Twilight and Rainbow Dash didn’t have family to warrant a need to check in on.
Actually looking at Twilight now she began to realize that there were three ponies in this room that although they claimed they loved their folks, they had spent little time with them and were pretty distant. Rainbow Dash had gone to visit her parents a few times in the last couple of years, though it was hard to keep up with expectations for her, this news had to be a real shocker for them. Fluttershy loved her parents but at the same time even she felt like they were a little stifling. Pinkie’s insinuations about her mother’s loyalty were also a cause for concern… mostly there were some things Fluttershy kept secret about her parents that might give more credence to those thoughts than Fluttershy wanted to think about. After all she’d kissed Rainbow Dash a couple of times, in a more then friendly way, and thinking about the possibility for any blood relations there was too much to consider.
Point was she didn’t have to worry about her animals. When things like this happened Big Mac and Applebloom worked together to tend to her home as well as the others should they need it. So she could relax on that.
What she could not relax on was the fact Rarity’s hoof had somehow found a perch between Luna’s legs and was beginning to move in a fashion that made Luna blush a little. Fluttershy didn’t even think about it as she swatted her tail with alarming accuracy at Rarity’s flank. The mare yelped and drew her hoof back. Everypony looked at Rarity who was now blushing furiously, probably unsure of who just slapped her and what exactly to do about it. Luna reassured her by drawing her in close, but Rarity seemed to get the message and ceased her touching.
Twilight gave Fluttershy a knowing look. They didn’t need any words to communicate the message. They were both on the lookout for these mares trying to hound in on their territory. Well Fluttershy wasn’t going to let that happen and she had many, many plans before the day was out.
When the doors opened Fluttershy expected to see Celestia coming back in. Instead it was Cadance and Shining Armor. They both took seats at the table and filled plates full of food while talking.
Cadance apologized, “I’m so sorry that I missed dinner last night. We were in the middle of planning some parts of the wedding tomorrow. And I couldn’t pull myself away from it.”
Shining Armor nodded. “The wedding’s security detail is going well. How have your guards and servants been treating you?”
Rarity replied. “They’ve been great. The guard could use a little more muscle but he’s loyal as could be. The servant is also very wonderful, though I would prefer a mare who was a bit more flexible.”
Cadance rolled her eyes. “That’s Luna’s fault. She wanted to make sure there was nothing else going on in the servants or the guard’s heads as they tended to you six.”
Luna smiled. “It is not that I do not trust our staff, they know very well what would happen should they attempt to steal what is mine. No, I just want them to be working as effectively as possible for the needs of my wives.”
Rarity sighed and threw her leg over her eyes fainting into Luna’s side. “But I couldn’t order mine to be attracted to me if I tried. And I did try!”
Luna chuckled. “That is a good thing love. If you want somepony to be attracted to you, I feel there is a perfect alicorn for the job.”
Warning bells went off in Fluttershy’s head. “Oh, L-Luna. D-do you think you might be a little tired after all the hard work you d-did last night? M-maybe we should retire to bed?”
Luna wrapped a wing around Fluttershy drawing her close. “That is a great idea. I should like two ponies to cuddle.”
Rarity purred. “I could always make room to share you.”
Fluttershy gulped. This was not where she thought the morning would go. She was losing already. And worse yet, she was going to be dragged down into that loss by all her actions.