Memento

by Boltstrike58


It's Only One Day

The dream.

Sometimes she could go weeks without having it, sometimes it came night after night for a while. Either way, it always came back to haunt her.

She was a small filly again, her wings not yet developed enough for flying. She was playing on her parents' farm, near their massive stacks of boxes filled with produce that would soon be carted off by strong earth ponies. There were other fillies and colts with her, too, happily joining her in her escapades. She didn't remember their names anymore, but she never forgot their faces. She was jumping up and down, waving her forelegs, waiting to catch the ball that one colt had just bucked in her direction. She jumped and reached as hard as she could, but her legs missed the ball.

Instead, the ball hit the top crate of one of the stack directly behind her. It shouldn't have been enough to shift the crate, but it was. Earth pony strength, she guessed. The box rocked backwards a little, before tipping forwards full-force. She heard the rumbling, but like always, she didn't turn around fast enough. By the time she did, the crate was already halfway down, closing in on her. She screamed, but only because that was what she had done when it really happened. She couldn't control herself, or deviate from the memory.

She turned to run, her friends calling out to her, begging her to hurry. She went as fast as she could, even beating her tiny wings to try and get a speed boost, but it was never enough. The crate fell onto her left hind leg, crushing it like a toothpick beneath a brick. She didn't feel the pain again, considering it was just a dream, but she still screamed that same filly scream, a sound she'd take with her to her grave.

Some of the foals who'd been playing with her merely stood their, mouths open, frozen in fear. Three ran for her parents, looking to get help. The remaining two ran up to her, even though they knew they couldn't lift the crate. She could only writhe in agony, tears pouring from her eyes, as her front hooves clawed at the dirt, trying to pull the rest of her free.

That was when a white light washed over the dream. As it passed through her, Kerfuffle's mind regained clarity, and she found she was not longer trapped by the box. The other foals around her vanished, no longer necessary. She looked at her back legs, finding that the trapped one had now been replaced by her familiar prosthetic. The rest of her body had changed to, from her filly one to the more familiar adult version. This hadn't happened before. She usually just went along with the dream until she got to the hospital, where she learned the awful truth. Then they'd put her under, and she'd suddenly be missing a leg. Something had intervened, and Kerfuffle had a pretty good idea of what it was as she climbed to her hooves.

"Greetings, Kerfuffle," came the regal sounding voice she'd expected.

The pegasus turned, discovering that, despite it being the middle of the day, the moon had risen into the sky. Of course, this was a dream, so that could happen. The moon flashed a bright white, before a large pony silhouette flew out of it, descending towards Kerfuffle. With one flap of her wings, the midnight blue alicorn landed next to her.

"Oh, Princess Luna!" Kerfuffle attempted to dive into a bow, before she remembered the royal decree that ponies were not required to bow to the princess of the night in their dreams. She snapped back up, giving an unnaturally wide smile as Luna looked down at her. Luckily for her, the princess didn't seem to care.

"Forgive me for not intervening in this nightmare sooner, Kerfuffle," Luna said, a sad frown gracing her features. "I am aware you have had it before. The dreams Hope Hollow have been difficult for me to access, thanks to that bout of hopeless magic that covered the town. Thankfully, Princess Twilight and the others helped clear that up."

"Oh, don't worry yourself about it," Kerfuffle insisted. "You patrol the dreams of everypony in Equestria. I'd be shocked if you actually managed to get to everyone every single night."

"Still, it is a tragedy," Luna replied. She looked over at the crate that had fallen. "I assume this dream is a recollection of the incident that resulted in...your..." She gestured to Kerfuffle's wooden leg.

"Oh, you don't have to dance around it, Princess." Kerfuffle lifted up her wooden leg and shook it. "I came to terms with this thing a long time ago. This dream just pops up in my head from time to time, I can deal with it."

Luna actually gasped a little at the pegasus' statement. "You...do not mind being reminded of this?" She gestured to the spot where Kerfuffle had fallen. "Surely this incident was one of the worst, if not the worst of your life?"

"Well, I'm not gonna act like it was pleasant," replied the pegasus. "But, ultimately, it was just one bad day, you know?"

"True, but..." Luna seemed to be at a loss for words. "I would have thought...most ponies would rather forget something like this."

Kerfuffle looked up at the princess, concerned. Luna seemed to be taking this rather personally, which was odd, considering she'd never met Kerfuffle before tonight. The pegasus wondered why Luna would be so invested in a single one of her subjects, who, in the grand scheme of things—

Realization hit her like a lightning bolt. Kerfuffle knew exactly what Luna was thinking. And it was a heartbreaking thought.

"Do you want to stay here for a minute?" she ventured, despite her fear. "Maybe talk for a little while?"

Luna balked in surprise, but she calmed down quickly. "Yes," she replied after a moment's hesitation, "I believe I would."

The two ponies turned and began walking away from the scene of the accident. Luna's horn began to glow with her signature blue light, as a path began to take shape before them. Kerfuffle watched with interested as the princess continued to construct more land in the dream for them to walk around in.

"So..." she began, unsure of how to breach such a sensitive topic, "if I have to be honest, having this dream doesn't really bother me all that much. Sure, I wouldn't call it a happy memory, but one bad experience shouldn't define how you live your life. Nopony ever treated me badly because I was missing a leg. And even if they did, I'd just think they weren't worth my time."
"There is wisdom in what you say, Kerfuffle," replied the princess. "It just...confuses me, personally. I...if an experience like this kept coming back to haunt me, long after I'd managed to get over it, I would not only be angry, I would be concerned about my mental health."

"You'd probably like to forget the whole 'Nightmare Moon' thing, right?" asked Kerfuffle, before she could stop herself. Realizing what she'd just said, she slammed her jaws together with a yelp, but it was too late. All she could do was wait for the inevitable.

Luna didn't react the way she expected, though. The alicorn simply lowered her head and closed her eyes, as though she were experiencing a deep shame. Which she probably was, all things considered.

"Yes," she finally admitted.

Kerfuffle hesitated again. What was she supposed to do in this situation? Sure, she was friendly with Princess Twilight, but she was just an ordinary pony. What advice could she possibly have to offer a ruler of Equestria who'd been imprisoned for one-thousand years? She had to at least try.

"Well, let's think of it this way," she started. "That part of your past might be dark and painful, but it's just a small part of everything that composes you. Sure, I don't like remembering this day, but I can never completely forget it, because it's part of me. It's one of the things that come together to compose my being. Like I said, though, it's not the most important part. When Princess Twilight and her friends came to town, they never even asked my leg. I mean, I wouldn't have been offended if they did, but that's beside the point.

"The ponies who really love you, who care about you, won't care about the dark things in your past if you've moved beyond them. Granted, our situations aren't exactly the same, but most ponies don't even care about Nightmare Moon anymore. They love you for you. And if they don't care, why should you?" Kerfuffle stopped to take a deep breath. "And I have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'm just gonna stop talking now..."

She poked the ground with her hoof, wondering if there was any way she could salvage this conversation. Luna, however, was watching the pegasus with interest, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face. She reached over, placing one hoof on Kerfuffle's shoulder.

"You are a wise pony, Kerfuffle," she said. "Perhaps I have simply been dwelling on my past too much. I thank you for your words."

"Really?!" asked Kerfuffle. "I mean, uh...you're welcome. I'm glad I could help."

Luna's smile grew wider. "I think you have this dream under control. Would you mind if I returned to my patrol?"

"Sure, sure. Like I said, you don't have to worry about me."

Princess Luna gave Kerfuffle another pat on the shoulder, then took off with a flap of her wings. She flew towards the moon, which began to glow with bright light. In a flash, she was gone.

Kerfuffle briefly stared after her, thinking about the conversation they'd just shared. If she could take something as insignificant as her own experience, and use it to help a princess, maybe she was a more valuable pony than she'd thought.