Twilight stood wide-eyed staring at the creature, the human, sprawled on her floor, waving wildly to get the chicken pecking him to go away. Her brain couldn’t process what she was seeing. She had a million questions running through her head and didn’t know what to ask first. There were so many things to comment on, from how incredibly long and lanky the thing was to just why it seemed to be dressed up in a Star Swirl the Beared outfit. But one question stood out above the rest.
“Wha- I- humans are afraid of chickens?” she got out with a stutter, her jaw practically hitting the floor as she stared at him.
“See, Twilight?” Lyra cried, pointing a hoof at Archard. “I told you humans are real!”
“But- but- but… how?” she asked, practically yelling. “That wasn’t supposed to work! That whole setup had no basis in science at all! How could it have possibly done anything? It doesn’t make sense!”
“Because I’m an expert on humans, Twilight,” Lyra spoke with authority, and a little bit of annoyance at the mare who doubted her knowledge. Although she had to admit, she herself wasn’t even sure it would work. But that didn’t matter now because there was a human, a real live human, right in front of her! She’s always hoped that she’d see one with her own eyes, and now, not only was she seeing one, she actually summoned one! It was more than she ever dreamed of doing!
“I told you everything in that book was real, but you didn’t believe me. But you have to believe this! It’s an actual human right in front of us! Although I have to admit, it’s a lot longer in length than I imagined, and kind of weak looking. They're supposed to be more muscular.” She had to crane her neck to see all of him. He would be almost twice the height of a pony if he stood up.
“I can’t believe there’s an actual human in front of me!” Lyra thought to herself. “A real, live human, one with hands and everything! I can’t believe this! Although it does look different than I imagined it, but still!”
Archard, for his part, was largely oblivious of the two ponies near him, still using a hand to rub his now aching nose. Why that blasted chicken saw fit to hurt him so, he didn’t know, but he was already determining a way to get his revenge as he sat up and rubbed his head.
“So I got struck by lightning and ended up in a library,” he thought as he turned to look around. “One that apparently has a chicken running around in it.” He noticed the many books on the shelves, as well as tables scattered about and other rooms, including a kitchen? That was weird. Most libraries didn't have those as far as he knew.
“Maybe it’s some new type of library, and the kitchen is so that chicken can be turned into a meal, which it deserves. I wonder where I-”
He stopped suddenly as he saw two horses, two ponies, staring back at him cautiously. It was something he’d never expected to see in real life, and he was stunned silent by the sight, frozen in place as he looked back and forth between the two of them.
There was a long moment of silence, one where even the feathered beast that attacked the human stood silently as the three of them stood waiting for some creature to make a move. Then finally, someone spoke.
“You’re Twilight Sparkle and Lyra Heartstrings!” Archard got out excitedly, putting on a wide, happy grin as he stood up to take a step forward.
“Sweet Celestia, that thing is tall…” Twilight thought fearfully as she took a step back. “The book said humans were big, but that thing is over six feet…”
“Quick, Twilight! The net!” Lyra called, spurring the mare into action. She used her magic to throw the net over him, but watched as he used his hands to catch it, long incredible fingers that weaved and twisted through the holes, keeping it from really trapping him.
“Why are you throwing a net over me?” he asked, casually pushing it over him off to the side. “Is it because I’m dressed like Star Swirl? I’m sorry, Twilight… oh! I should take a picture of this! Gonna wanna prove I’m not crazy later. Where is my phone…? I have my watch, but I can't take a picture with that...” He patted himself down for a moment before continuing, "I hope I didn't leave it with Troy. He's gonna drain the battery on that thing and not even charge it probably. Not to mention, there are some pretty embarrassing photos on there."
“Why did the net not work?” Lyra asked aloud. “It should have stopped him! Did we forget to rub garlic on it?”
He stopped where he was, leaving his hands in place on his body and only able to get another step in before he said, “Please tell me you didn’t put garlic on that. My skin is going to break out if you did…”
“How do you know who we are?” the alicorn asked, taking a fearful step towards Archard, her wings outstretched as if to protect Lyra from him. As she did so, she lit up her horn and pushed her magic up to him, watching as it resisted him. It was like there was a forcefield surrounding him, her purple aura not getting closer than a few inches to him. The human couldn’t help but reach his hand out to try and touch it, and watched as the aura pushed away from him, farther back, like his hand and her magic were two alike poles of magnets and repelling each other.
“Whoa, am I doing that? That’s cool! I didn’t know your magic couldn’t touch me, Twilight!”
“I told you humans were dangerous!” Lyra got out. “But noooooo! You didn’t believe me!”
“How do you know who I am?” Twilight asked again, more forcefully this time. “And how are you repelling my magic?”
“I don’t know,” he said, extending his hand farther and watching her magic push back farther as a result, “but it’s really cool! And I know who you are because you’re Twilight Sparkle! You’re the Princess of Friendship and ruler of Equestria!”
“What?” Twilight asked, confused for a moment, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not the ruler of Equestria.”
“Hmmm… Well, I guess you’re not the ruler yet, because you’re still at Golden Oaks Library. But you have alicorn wings, so that means this is after your ascension and before Tirek… wait, do you still have Owlowiscious? Cause after season three or four, he basically disappears. It’s really weird. Kind of jarring how we never see him again.”
“Wait, why would Owlowisious disappear? And what are you talking about, ‘seasons’?” she asked, sounding concerned now before turning to Lyra. “Humans aren’t psychic, are they? I don’t remember reading anything about that in the book.”
“Um, I’ll have to check my notes,” she replied, honestly not really remembering everything she wrote down. “It wouldn’t surprise me though if they were, considering they can read minds already.” As she spoke, she made sure to stay firmly behind the princess’s outstretched wings for safety, in case he were to attack them.
Not that he was thinking of doing such a thing. He was smiling widely at the realization of where he was, looking around the room in awe as though it was the first time he saw a library in his life. To be fair, it was the first time he saw this specific library in real life. He had to suppress the urge to do a skip and a hop in the air in excitement.
“This is amazing! I hope I can meet Starlight, too! She’s my favorite, but you probably don’t know who she is yet. I wonder where Spike is… Oh, there you are!” he said, turning to the dragon down, who had been standing silently watching the scene unfold with a mixture of fear and curiosity. “Wow! You’re a lot smaller in real life! It’s adorable.”
“Hey!” the dragon got out, breaking out of his surprise and frowning. “I’m not small, and I’m definitely not adorable!”
“You’re adorable as hell! Especially when you try to scowl at me like that, it only makes you cuter! All of you are, and it’s amazing.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of them, flashing his teeth as he did.
“It’s a carnivore!” Twilight and Lyra called out at the same time, both of them taking a step back away from him, more nervous and a bit more afraid than they were before. “It has canines!” Twilight continued. What if he tried to eat them? What would they do to stop him, especially if Twilight’s magic didn’t work on him?
“I’m not a carnivore! I eat plants! Although, I definitely do eat meat, too, but still. It’s an inaccurate label.”
Twilight cringed at his confirmation and took another step back, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on him as she said, “Spike, go get my friends, please.”
“Already on it,” he confirmed to her before running out the door and down the street.
“Lyra,” Twilight started anxiously, “humans… they don’t eat ponies do they?”
“No, we don’t eat ponies,” Archard jumped in and explained for her. “I would never eat you, although some people do eat horses.” He said it nonchalantly, although once he saw the look on their faces, he realized his mistake and quickly tried to backtrack.
“Not that I would,” he continued, rubbing his forehead as he laughed nervously. “I wouldn’t, and haven’t. I mostly eat beef.” He turned his head to the terrible feathered beast, glaring at it and adding, “And chickens,” the bird bawking in response.
He stared down the creature as Lyra and Twilight took another fearful step back, cringing at the thought of it. What if the human ate one of Applejack’s cows, like Bessie or Daisy Jo? The mare couldn’t stand the thought of it, and shuddered to herself because of it.
“Lyra, this is all your fault,” the purple pony whispered as the two watched Archard carefully, who now had his hands on his hips as he entered into a staring contest with the bird. “Why’d you include instructions for how to summon a dangerous creature in the back of the book? That’s just horribly irresponsible.”
“I told you humans were really dangerous, Twilight,” Lyra whispered back, telling her off. “But nooooooo, you just didn’t want to believe they existed like I told you. So you’re the irresponsible one.”
“I just hope my friends get here soon. I can only imagine what it’s capable of.”
“Humph, you should be ashamed of yourself for attacking me like that,” the human scolded the chicken, using a hand to rub his nose again. "It was completely uncalled for."
Spike made his way through Ponyville as quickly as he could, excusing himself and apologizing as he bumped and ran into multiple ponies. He didn’t know who he should try and round up first, but somehow found himself at Rarity’s boutique after a few minutes of running.
“Should I really let some dangerous monster try to eat Rarity?” he thought to himself, contemplating for a moment before shaking the thought from his head. “Rarity is a strong mare. She can handle herself. Besides, she’s the Element of Generosity. Twilight will need her help.”
With that in mind, he ran through the door, immediately bumping into the flank of a fluffy white marshmallow as he entered.
“Oh, Spikey-Wikey!” she cheerfully said as she turned around. “I was hoping you’d come around today! I wanted to see if you could help me with some of my clothing designs! I need somepony to try them on for me, and Sweetie Belle is out playing with her two friends right now, trying to earn their cutie marks as always. Something about being lumberjacks, I believe. I just hope she doesn't come back covered in tree sap like she always seems to do.” She frowned at the thought before shaking her head and continuing, "Anyway, what do you say about helping me out today, hmm Spike?"
“Well, um, I would, but we can’t because-”
“Oh, please Spike? You’d be doing me a really big favor.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him in an attempt to woo him, continuing, “I might even let you have a few gems as a treat for helping me.”
“I can’t because-”
“Pleaaaassseee?” she begged, pursing her lips and giving him the best pouty face she could make. “You’d make me one very happy mare if you did. I really need your help. Please?”
“I’d really love to Rarity, but-”
“Perfect! Oh, thank you, Spikey!” she interrupted as she used her magic to lift him up, giving him a kiss on the cheek before carrying him off to her dressing room. It made him blush and caused hearts to form in his eyes, the dragon practically forgetting what he came to see Rarity for.
“Well, I guess Twilight can wait a little bit,” he thought to himself, smiling bashfully as he was carried off. "I'm sure it's not that dangerous."