"Mmm, a chocolate cake, just for me?"
"Come on......just take a bite, you gluttonous tyrant."
Revenge is a messy thing.
You'd be surprised how far somepony would go just to feel the stinging satisfaction of getting that special somepony a taste of their own medicine.
Some would ignore and try to move on from those who wronged them. Some would give in and spend days, weeks, nay months concocting their devious plots on their path for "justice".
And some would intensely observe the princess of Equestria and witness her from the kitchen window devouring a chocolate cake that they made completely out of dirt and mud just for funsies.
As for Chrysalis in this case...
"BLEH!"
"HA! How you like that, Sunbutt!"
It was definitely the latter.
Celestia gags as the cunning changeling queen revels in her dirty deed, mocking the alicorn's folly.
"Heavens, I didn't know you still soil yourself, Tia!"
"Guards!" Celestia coughs harshly.
"Uh oh."
Chrysalis flips into a majestic dive off the wall, soaring down along the castle moat. A swarm of angry unicorn guards flood out of the main gate, horns lit as she lands upon the drawbridge.
"Muzzle squad, GO!" a stallion among the group barks.
Cavalry charging head-on, bug horse let's out a hateful hiss and rolls a foggy bottle toward their heavy onslaught, shattering on impact and engulfing them all in a bombastic blue smoke.
"!ekoj nosiop gniyrrac s'ehS !on hO" a mare wheezes, limping from the fog.
"AFTER HER!" a tiny guard squeaks.
Doped and joked, Celestia's finest dust themselves off as Chrysalis parkours over the plethora of railings surrounding the eyesore of a kingdom garden. Ponies gasp and watch in terror over the changeling's grand escape.
More guards pop in from every street, collectively scattering about in hopes of cornering her. Chrysalis takes a sharp detour through the Canterlot shopping area, purposefully shoving aside the fancy displays and snooty equines who immediately label her recklessness in the "unorthodox" category.
"Reform yourself, you witch!" a unicorn mare huffs.
Chrysalis screeches to a halt and towers over the shaken pony, glaring coldly.
"Boo." she utters, plucking the unicorn's bulky diamond necklace and small satchel from around her neck as she faints.
As she turns, a buff stallion blocks her path.
"Ah gah yah naw!" he mumbles.
"Come again?"
A throbbing, deformed, green and polka-dotted tongue hangs free out the guard's quivering mouth, earning a sly snicker from the changeling.
She swings her satchel against his temple, sending him crashing toward the ground, biting down on his blobby tongue screaming.
"Joke on that." Chrysalis snorts.
Among the clutter surrounding her, she spots an object of interest.
"Battle Strategies, huh?" she hums, reading an extravagant cover of a book. "Don't mind if I do."
She swipes thing from the mess and stuffs it in the satchel, making her way past the outskirts of the kingdom.
Evening approaches.
The marehunt for Chryssy continues through the gloomy depths of the Everfree Forest under the setting sun. Unicorn guards search high and low with glowing magic across the dim wood, stumbling across an open space surrounded by towering trees.
Resting against one, Chrysalis calmly examines her stolen diamond studded goods, squeezing a few large chunks out and rubbing them together over a small pile of sharp twigs while the herd close in.
"Chrysalis," a stallion grunts, raising a spear in his magic. "You're under arrest."
"For what?" she shrugs, striking the glamorous rocks further. "I'm just trying to set up camp for myself."
A spark pops out from the diamonds, starting a fire on the twigs.
"Just put your hooves up and come quietly."
Setting the diamonds aside, Chrysalis stares up at the stern guard with a blank stare over her growing flame.
"I only do what other queens do," she utters, lifting a burning twig. "I rule."
Chrysalis chucks the stick, piercing the guard's leg and bringing him to his knees before knocking him out cold with a swift punch to the jaw, prompting the others to charge.
Chryssy leaps in, slinging fiery twigs into a mare's side and bops another mare's temple with a diamond. In the corner of her eye, the changeling grins as a pair of stallions creeping closer light up their horns.
"Why must you all be such a thorn in my side?" she sighs, bumping a hoof against a tree.
A wide tattered bush tumbles upon a trio of guards, ensnaring them in long tough strands of thorny vines protruding from within.
"Pity," Chrysalis utters, flipping a switch. "You all would've made such wonderful slaves."
Her thorn trap cuts at the stallions' skins as a contraption flings them off into the horizon.
"Happy travels, and buck you very much!" she bows with a wicked chuckle.
The few scattered guards look on in horror as the vengeful queen rises on her hind legs with a sturdy shovel in her hooves.
"You ponies love songs, right?" she says in an innocent tone, twirling her tool.
"I poke your RIGHT eye in (AHH!),
I knock your FRONT teeth out! (AUGH!)
I break your bloody snout, and you're wailing all about! (WAHHHH!)
You do the changeling mangling and you turn yourself around (I DON'T LIKE THIS SONG!)
As I knock you all the buck OUT!"
Bones fracture, teeth fly, bruises form, bug horse savored every punch, every crunch, and every plea amongst her pursuers. Her twisted games became too cray cray for the guards, and they limp away as fast as equinely possible, to her devious delight.
"Yes!" she cheers, piercing the ground with the shovel. "Evade capture without using magic, achievement complete!"
A triumphant Chrysalis lights up her horn and carves a huge checkmark across a round boulder with mud smearing an image of a crossed out horn. Her daily acts of prankism done, she retires to a square shaped pile of hay and pulls her strategy book from the satchel.
"Okay, Battle Strategies," she reads. "Give me your......BLOCKCRAFT EDITION?!?!"
Chrysalis throws the book against a tree and stomps the ground, breathing intensely.
If veins could express, it would read:
"I AM PEEVED."
"Figures," she grunts. "Ponies are too soft and safe to indulge in the thrilling sensations of WAR! If I had the right strategy, the fools won't know what hit-"
THUMP!
Something bumps into the changeling's leg.
THUMP!
A small mound rustling underneath her bed's quilt continues to run into her hole-y legs.
"Who goes there?" she hisses, peering under the cloth. "Show yourself!"
She flips over the sheet until-
"Ruff!"
A happy brown and white puppy dog pounces onto the changeling's face, licking her face as she falls on her back in surprise.
"A...puppy?!"
"Ruff!" the fur baby yips happily, wagging his tail in excitement.
"How'd you get here?" Chrysalis snorts, levitating the pup to her level. "Who sent you?!"
The puppy lightly licks the tip of the changeling's nose, panting.
"Ew, stop that! Leave, now."
Chrysalis plops the creature on the soft grass, leaves him behind and squirms about in her bed. The pup shakes the dirt off his smol body before galloping after her.
"Ruff!" he barks.
"Didn't I say-"
She stops.
Her nose twitches and sniffs the air, a sneaky grin forming across her face.
"Come forth......little guy." she coos, licking her lips as the puppy waddles toward her, hopping up against her towering legs.
Chrysalis lifts the chipper critter up as her thick saliva oozes down her chin.
"Yes, you're a good boy. Yesssssssssssss..."
The super-sized insect unhinges her jaw and let's her slimy tongue dangling before the oblivious canine, emitting a low hiss.
"Give me all of your love, little- GAH!"
Chrysalis' love taking is interrupted by a loving lick on the lips.
"Ugh, how dare you, my mouth was open!" she spits, wiping her face. "You putrid little grub!"
"Ruff, rrruff!" the little one jumps happily.
"What, you like that? Grub?"
"Ruff!"
"Well, GO AWAY, GRUB!"
She slides the animal far from her bed and lays done, her back turned. As she rests, she spots the little nuisance staring deep into her eyes.
"..."
"..."
She turns him around, away from his line of vision. Grub immediately turns back to her panting.
"Stop looking at me like that!"
"Ruff!" Grub chimes, pouncing on her belly.
"No, down, dumb dog." Chrysalis scoots Grub off her onto the ground. "Begone!"
"Ruff!"
"What, wanna stay?"
"Ruff!"
"Tough titty!"
Grub scurries over and tugs on Chrysalis' tail, letting out a little whimper.
"NO, your puppy pouts will not sway me, not today."
"Ruff!"
"Not even the eyes, nuh-uh."
"Mmmmmmm..." Grub whines, tugging erratically.
The pup ups the canine charm to 11, expanding his glistening eyes and cutely wiggling his tongue.
"That's impossible! I.....ugh, fine!"
Grub's ears perk up as the irritated queen tosses a raggedy towel over him, the little creature happily curling up in the cloth.
"Just be annoying over there," she sighs, finally getting comfy. "One night, then you leave.
"Ruff!"
"I refuse to be your bed."