~~~~~Trixie~~~~~~
Remember magic school? This reminds me of the old days. I hated my school days. Nopony wanted me around then, either. Everypony just laughed at me. And why was that? It was because I could barely cast any spells; I had almost no magic. There was a nickname...Trixie-No-Spell. All I wanted was people to stop laughing; I wanted people to look up to me. To be Great and Powerful.
I had gotten my cutie-mark at a young age: a wand. It meant my talent was supposed to be magic, so I was sent to an elite magic school. Everypony there was so talented. Everypony except for little Trixie-No-Spell. Whenever I got called to the front of the class, I could never get it right. Everypony laughed. I didn’t have any friends…not until I learned how to cheat. Faker.
I learned that with the right twist, I could make the few spells I did know look like other spells. I turned it into a performance; it was a game. I tried to make the class believe I was even more powerful than they were by making it look like I could do all those fancy tricks. Lied to them all, just like always. I faked it all and soon everypony wanted to be friends with me. Not with me…with the Great and Powerful Trixie. Pretended to be somepony else, somepony better. I loved the attention, so I stopped being Trixie-No-Spell and became Trixie the Fake and Powerless. I couldn’t stop acting; everypony loved my persona, so therefore everypony loved me.
I kept trying to do real magic when I was alone, but I could barely achieve anything trickier than levitation. I tried, I really tried, but my little illusions of real magic were all I had. After awhile, I stopped practicing ‘magic’ and I just worked on stage presence instead. If I could keep everypony distracted I could spin a few basic spells together and pull off some really impressive ‘magic’. I was a great faker…until little Trixie-No-Spell got caught. Until I got caught. Fake magic can’t pass an exam no matter how real it looks. Soon everypony knew the truth…soon they all laughed again.
I left the school. Dropped out. I took my show on the road, but each town seemed less and less impressed. I had to be bigger…better…Great and Powerful! They would all like me, and then they would want me around. My stage tricks became impressive, but I relied less and less on my horn and more and more on gimmicks and props. I still used a few rope-tricks and good old fashioned levitation, but nothing substantial. I stopped using most magic all together until I came to Ponyville…or, rather until I left Ponyville. After I saw what she could do, after I saw how Great and Powerful Twilight Sparkle was…
I tried again. I tried real magic again. Failed again and again. I just kept thinking about her; I wanted to be like her. I also…wanted to be with her. She was so nice to everypony and somehow ponies liked her without her needing to show off. She was so impressive, magically and otherwise. I thought that maybe if I learned from her, I could be like her. Seems like she doesn’t want Trixie around either. Why would she want someone so fake around? I hated being useless. I hated being lonely. I just wished somepony would give me a chance.
The sun began to rise so I left my trailer, I didn’t want to be around when Twilight Sparkle woke up. I couldn’t face her right then. I did what I do best; I ran away.
~~~Twilight~~~~
I went to check on Trixie as soon as I woke up. The barrier around her trailer was gone, but it seemed as though she was too. When my knocking yielded no response I tried the door; it was unlocked. I normally would never enter another pony’s house uninvited, but I was determined to see if she was all right. My search was in vain; her hat and cape were present, but she wasn’t there. I was about to leave when I bumped one of the shelves, sending a wave of papers to the floor. As I levitated them from the ground, I noticed what they were: fliers for her shows. They were all the same but for dozens of towns. Phillydelphia, Manehatten, Los Pegasus, Baltimare, even Canterlot! I never realized how well traveled she was…but then I remembered what she had said the other day. ‘Nopony likes me. I just want somepony to, I don’t know, be my…friend’. In all those places, she still hadn’t found anypony to be with her. Traveling alone all this time…I couldn’t even imagine how she must have felt.
I left her carriage and found Spike waiting for me outside. I really wasn’t sure what he was doing there and his question was very descriptive. “Well?”
“Well what?” I closed the door behind me.
“How is she?” Spike must have felt a bit sorry for her after seeing her last night. He seemed more concerned than I would have expected.
“I wish I knew. She wasn’t in there.”
“You gonna go look for her?” he asked, before deciding to try to mask his worry. “I mean, so she doesn’t get into more trouble.”
I smiled at him before trying a simple tracking spell. It yielded no results and my subsequent locator spell didn’t give me much either. That was weird; my magic hadn’t failed in this area before. Was Trixie trying to not be found?
“I’m not getting anything. Maybe she isn’t ready to talk yet.” I felt useless. Trixie had trusted me to help her, and I was letting her down. Then I got an idea of what to do while I waited. “I think I’m going to talk to Fluttershy and find out what really happened.”
“Good idea. Should I do anything?
“Stay here and come get me if she shows up,” I said, and ran to Fluttershy’s cottage without waiting for his reply.
Information is essential to avoid misunderstandings. That was something I learned when I was very small. Studying leads to understanding, so I intended to study this situation to the best of my ability. If I understood what happened, I could help fix it. I quickly arrived at the cottage and found my friend singing with her birds. She hovered several feet off the ground, lost in her own little world. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with Fluttershy.
“Oh! Good morning, Twilight. I’m sorry; I didn’t see you there.”
“Good morning, Fluttershy. Can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure! I’ll be right down.” She turned and dismissed her chorus and gently alighted near me.
“I was just wondering how things…uh, went yesterday?”
“Oh, everything went wonderfully yesterday. Angel and I had the most relaxing walk, and Applejack stopped by too. It was a good day.” She smiled.
“That’s all well and good, but I was actually wondering how things went with Trixie?”
“Oh. Um…with Trixie.” She hesitated and looked away. “Fine, I suppose.”
“Considering how Trixie was acting last night, I somehow doubt that.” I took a deep breath. “It's all right, Fluttershy, just tell me what happened when she came by.”
“Nothing really happened, honestly. She startled me a little bit, and then we talked for a tiny bit. Then she made some loud noises and I panicked. I ran and hid in my cottage and the next thing I knew Applejack said that she had left.”
“That…might explain it. I don’t think she was ready for an AJ encounter.” Things made a bit more sense.
“Did something happen to, um, Trixie?” Fluttershy’s kindness was showing again.
“I’m not sure on the details, but she was pretty upset last night.”
“I hope I didn’t offend her; she seemed like she was trying to be nice. I just got really startled…”
“Then you should probably tell her that; it might make her feel better.” I wasn’t surprised that it was just a misunderstanding in Fluttershy’s case. Applejack, on the other hoof… “I’m going to go see if I can find AJ. See if I can’t get this all sorted out.”
“I, um, I think I might see if I can find Trixie. I should really apologize to her. I…I hope she wasn’t too upset last night.”
“Um…I think she’ll be okay.” I hoped I wasn’t lying as I went off to find the Element of Honesty.
~~~~~Trixie~~~~~
I felt strange wandering around Ponyville alone. Without my normal attire, no one seemed to recognize me. I walked the streets without any real destination. I just wanted to leave, but I really didn’t have anywhere else to go. Every place was the same in the end. Nowhere left to run away to. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking. After finding myself in the park, I ran right into somepony, knocking us both to the ground.
“Sorry,” I said, without any of my usual pluck. I quickly got off the grey pegasus stallion I had landed on.
“Don’t worry about it. It happens,” a soft voice replied. The pegasus was ash grey, with a shaggy mane of darker grey hair. His cutie mark was a bright silver horseshoe. He had a noticeable silver streak in his hair, but something else caught my eye; he had a broken wing.
I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just turned to walk away. I got about four steps in when he called after me. “Hey, are you all right?”
“Trixie is perfectly fine, thank you,” I said, mustering as much of my usual self as I could. I couldn’t ignore the way my voice wavered.
“Um, then why are you crying?”
“Trixie is not…” I put my hoof to my face and found tears there. How long had I been…Great and Powerful, eh?
“That bad, huh?” He motioned to a nearby bench. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“I don’t even know you, why should I tell you anything?” He doesn’t even look trustworthy.
“Might make you feel better. My name is Silver Lining and…” He walked to the bench and tried to sit down. He instead leaned too far into the bench and sent the whole thing toppling over. “Ow.”
After he further hurt himself trying to set the bench back up, I finally went over to help him. I sat down on the newly righted bench and started talking with him. I really wasn’t sure if it was to get everything off my chest or to make sure he didn’t hurt himself any further.
“Silver Lining, you say? Surely you have heard of the Great and Powerful Trixie?” I was starting to build myself back up.
“Sorry, I haven’t.” He fidgeted awkwardly, attempting not to bump his hurt wing. He opened his mouth to say something else, but didn’t get the chance. A ball some colts were playing with was sent rocketing into his face, leaving a nasty bruise. “Ow.”
“Um, are you all right?”
“Yeah, it happens.” He tossed the ball back to the kids with a smile. “Just some bad luck.”
“If you say so…” I got the feeling this ‘bad luck’ happened fairly often.
“So why the waterworks, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Trixie is alone and she just wishes for once that somepony would give her a chance!” It suddenly exploded out of my. My tears, my words, my story, the failure. He didn’t say anything, he just quietly listened while I ranted on and on. “…and now I failed again with Fluttershy, Applejack hates me, and Twilight Sparkle is just humoring me until I go away.”
“Wow. That’s quite the story, lady,” he said, looking thoughtful. “I will say though, it sounds to me like one pony in particular isn’t giving you a fair chance.”
“Which pony is that?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie.” He gave a soft smile.
“Excuse Trixie? What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just what I said. You assume you have failed before you have and don’t give yourself a real chance. Take Twilight for example. You didn’t really give her the chance to get to know you before you started avoiding her. You also didn’t explain yourself at all to Applejack or Fluttershy; you just assumed that they would dislike you and moved on.”
“But…that’s not…” Was he right? What does he know anyway? “What should I…should Trixie do then?”
He got off the bench slowly, trying not to hurt himself. He still managed to bang his knee as he did and gave his trademark ‘ow’ as he did. “I don’t really know, but I’d start with Twilight Sparkle. I mean, you like her, don’t you? Give her a chance to like you.”
He gave me a smile over his shoulder as he walked away. He almost walked right into a lamp post, but turned in time to narrowly dodge it, only to get hit by a falling tree branch. He gave an embarrassed smile, but continued on. He might have been incredibly unlucky, but he was incredibly right. I took a deep breath and began to walk back to Twilight’s. Maybe I would mess up again, but it was worth an effort. I did really admire Twilight Sparkle.
~~~~~Twilight~~~~~
I stopped back at home to check in with Spike while on my way to Sweet Apple Acres. He confirmed my fears: Trixie was still missing in action. Since she hadn’t turned up, I hurried off to find AJ. If I could figure out what went wrong, hopefully I could fix it. Applejack was never very difficult to find; when in doubt, she was bucking apples. Sure enough, that is where I found her.
“Well, howdy, Twilight! What brings you out to these parts?” She sounded as chipper as always. Whatever had happened, it didn’t seem to have affected AJ much.
“Hey, Applejack, I just wanted to ask you about something. Yesterday, did you see Trixie? It would have been sometime around when you visited Fluttershy.”
“Yeah, ah sure did. Ah walked in on Miss High-and-Mighty harassin’ poor Fluttershy. I firmly told her to scoot and off she ran,” she said proudly, before she asked in a more subdued tone, “Why ya askin’?”
“Trixie wasn’t trying to harass Fluttershy; she was trying to make friends.” I sighed. “It just seems that she still has a lot to learn.”
“Make friends? She plum scared the poor filly into hysterics!”
“I believe you, but trust me; that wasn’t what she meant to do. Trixie came to me the other day wanting my help, but she is still Trixie, so she’s a bit of a slow learner.”
“Wait a second, she’s stayin’ with you? Why in the name of Celestia would you want to help that little egomaniac?”
“Because she needs my help. She swallowed a lot of pride to even talk to me, so I know she is trying. I think Trixie really just wants people to like her, but she just goes overboard on showing it. She seems really lonely.”
“Are you sure she ain't just pullin’ yer leg on this one? Remember how much trouble she is? Ah don’t want anypony getting hurt when she gets out of hoof.”
“I believe in her. Especially after seeing how badly she took her setback yesterday, I don’t doubt that she wants to change. I want to be her friend.”
“Sheesh Twi, yer startin’ to make me feel like I did somethin’ wrong.” She hesitated. “How bad is ‘bad’ exactly?”
“You kinda made her cry. A lot.”
She didn’t respond at first. She paced while opening her mouth as if to speak, but closing it before any words could escape. Finally she turned back to me and lowered her head. “All right, ah guess ah done wrong by her and should give her a shot. Tell you what Twilight, ah’ll show up tomorrow and take her for a walk. Ah’ll apologize for yellin’ but ah’ll also get my own measure of her.”
“Thank you AJ, I…”
“Don’t go and thank me yet. If she gets all flashy-razzle-dazzle on me, ah won’t be able to hold myself back from lettin’ loose on her again. Ah hope you're right, Twilight, but I ain't got my hopes up.”
“Applejack, getting a chance is all Trixie really wants. I mean it, thank you.” I smiled at her and returned home.
When I made it back to the library, I could overhear a commanding voice talking very loudly--Trixie had returned! As I entered, she was busy talking to Spike, who seemed as flustered as I would have expected.
“And did Miss Sparkle say where she was going? Trixie requires her presence!” Apparently Trixie was back in ‘confidence mode’.
“Chill out already. She was going to talk to Applejack because…” He stopped mid-sentence. Spike seemed to have developed a little more tact than I would have guessed. “…because reasons.”
“Augh. That is just great. Trixie really wanted to see her…but she can’t go when Applejack is around.” Trixie paused for a moment, casting a suspicious glance at Spike. “…because…reasons.”
They both stared at each other for a solid minute. I didn’t announce my presence; I wanted these two to have a chance to speak. Finally, Spike reacted. He didn’t say anything, just broke out laughing. Trixie shifted awkwardly, but began chuckling herself. Once she began laughing in earnest, I finally spoke.
“Well I’m glad to see you two getting along.” My voice caused Spike to fall over, while Trixie appeared as if struck by lightning. “Are you ready for your lessons, Trixie?”
“Um, er…right! Yes, Trixie is most ready for your training. However, first she would like to talk to you.”
“Of course. I already heard how yesterday’s attempt went, and I’d be happy to help you work through…” I began.
“Yesterday's…attempt? Oh, no, Trixie wasn’t talking about that. She was talking about how she handled you yesterday.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment. “Although Trixie did really screw that up too.”
“Don’t worry about AJ or Fluttershy. Fluttershy knows you didn’t mean any harm; she's just easily frightened. She actually was hoping to try talking to you again.”
“You have got to be kidding me! After fleeing in terror from Trixie, why would she even want to look at me…at Trixie again?”
“That’s just how she is. She didn’t mean to run from you; you probably just went a touch overboard. Applejack misunderstood what she saw and reacted poorly. She actually wanted to see you tomorrow to try to clear the air. I can help get you ready for that. I know she can be intimidating, but she really…”
“Twilight! Has anypony told you that you talk too much? I was trying to talk about being friends with you!” After realizing what she said, she clapped a hoof over her mouth. She gave a nervous glance at me, then slowly started backing away. “Sorry, I, um…I mean Trixie…”
“I already thought of you as a friend, Trixie.” I smiled at her.
“But after the way Trixie acted yesterday, not to mention how much of…of a pain she is, why would you even want her?” she stammered.
“Because you are a good pony at heart. You try so hard at everything you do that I can’t help but admire you, even if you overdo it sometimes. You said you wanted somepony to give you a chance, and I think you deserve that chance. Now, shall we get down to the magic lesson, my dear pupil?”
She didn’t say anything; however, she did nearly take me to the ground. She ran over and hugged me so fast it felt like I had been sacked by Dash.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” she chanted softly in my ear. I couldn’t help but smile.
~~~~~Trixie~~~~
“Twilight! Has anypony told you that you talk too much? I was trying to talk about being friends with you!” It just slipped out. I hadn't meant to yell at her…especially not now. Good job, any other ways to sabotage yourself? “Sorry, I, um…I mean Trixie…”
Speaking in the third-pony always helped me distance myself. If I talked as if something wasn’t happening to me, it didn’t bother me as much. Yet for some reason, I kept letting my guard down around her.
“I already thought of you as a friend, Trixie.” She was smiling. She was smiling at me…
“But after the way Trixie acted yesterday, not to mention how much of…of a pain she is, why would you even want her?” I quickly raised my third-pony guard. I didn’t understand…I had done nothing to earn a friend.
“Because you are a good pony at heart. You try so hard at everything you do that I can’t help but admire you, even if you overdo it sometimes. You said you wanted somepony to give you a chance, and I think you deserve that chance. Now, shall we get down to the magic lesson, my dear pupil?”
I didn’t think about what happened next. I didn’t even mean to do it; it just happened. The next thing I knew, I was embracing Twilight Sparkle. I was so overcome I could feel tears rolling down my face. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
After taking a few moments to compose myself, I was ready for my lessons. That was embarrassing. Hopefully I wouldn’t further embarrass myself by messing this up. No more games, this time my magic would be real. Liar.
“All right, Trixie, first I’ll go over what I noticed about your magic style. Your level of telekinesis is far beyond most unicorns; you manipulate objects with much more skill and detail. On the other hoof, you use this ability instead of casting spells. For your rope trick, you didn’t really animate the rope. It just looked like it from your level of telekinesis.” Twilight began explaining my tricks…and she was right.
My whole body tensed. She could see through my tricks. She could tell I was a sham. I fought against the urge to turn and run, run like I always did when I was found out. Run like a coward. Mustering some false bravado, I responded. “Yeah, yeah. Trixie knows how she does things. What are you getting at.”
“Well, most of your other tricks are similar. They take basic tricks like telekinesis, levitation, or minor transmutations and expound on them.”
“So you’re saying I can only do basic magic.” That wasn't what I wanted to hear.
“Not exactly. You do have some weather alterations and other more impressive tricks, but your true strength is in the basics. You have much more skill with them than anypony I've seen; it's amazing! All we have to do is figure out why you have trouble with more difficult spells.”
“Twilight, just between you, me and the dragon; I don’t think I can do anything trickier. All I've been able to do is fake big spells, like you said.” I hated to admit it, but no point in hiding it now.
“Yes, but it was a way to practice continually at the small things. It isn’t bad to do it your way, especially for your show. I think we’ll start with something easy that I think would help your show: teleportation! If you can master that, you’ll be able to use it in unique ways like you do your other spells.”
“Unique ways, huh?” I smiled. “That's the nicest way I’ve heard ‘faking it’ described. The only problem is, I can’t do teleportation!”
“But I saw you! In the show you made flowers appear out of nowhere. It would be the same principle.”
“I didn’t teleport those. I just made them temporarily invisible and levitated them there,” I admitted.
“Well then, it sounds like practice time!” The smile she had…seemed almost infernal.
I practiced the forms and techniques she described for hours. I will say she is nothing if not a dedicated teacher. I was hopeless, yet she kept encouraging me and offering advice. Yet after three hours of work, I still hadn’t gotten it. The book I was trying to teleport stayed put. Growing frustrated, I fell back on my old ways; I turned it invisible and moved it manually.
Twilight looked at me, and I could tell that she saw through my act. I felt ashamed for trying to fool her. She was trying so hard for me, and all I could do was fake it. That was pretty low. Yet she didn’t criticize me; she just put a hoof on my shoulder and whispered, “Just try again.”
I closed my eyes and gave it one more go. This time, I felt my magical aura surround the book. There was a popping noise. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that the book…hadn’t moved at all.
“Well, Trixie, that should do it for today. Just keep practicing and you’ll surely improve,” she said, examining the book.
“But…but…I just can’t do it!”
“Oh, you think? Because I saw you do it just now.” She gave me a warm smile.
“What are you talking about?! The book is still right there!” I walked over to where she was standing.
“Oh it moved, just a little bit.” She pointed to where the book had started. “It moved about one inch, but it moved nonetheless. You can do it.”
I was struck silent. An inch had never seemed like a big deal before, yet I was almost tearing up over it.
“How about we go get some dinner to celebrate, just you and me?” She just kept smiling at me. It was like she was proud of me. Why is she proud over a stupid inch? I didn’t understand, but I was happy.
“Trixie humbly accepts your offer.”
We agreed to a light dinner, so we walked to a nearby café. Twilight had spoken highly of it, so I figured it was worth my attention. Ego is showing again.
“Trixie appreciates being asked to dinner; she rarely gets such invites.” We had placed our orders, but so far had been rather silent. I decided to chance a conversation.
“Relax, Trixie, it isn’t anything special.” She seemed so calm compared to me.
I cleared my throat and steered the conversation to my other area of study. “You said you thought of Trixie as a friend…do you have any tips? You heard what happened yesterday, so what did Trixie do wrong?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say it is exactly ‘wrong’ but maybe you could drop the stage presence?” she said cautiously. Was she worried about offending Trixie?
“What do you mean by ‘stage presence?”
“All the extra showiness of your act. Speaking in the thirdpony and all the mock-formality. It is okay to just be ‘Trixie the unicorn’. Be The Great and Powerful Trixie while you perform, but when off stage just be…well, you.”
“But Trixie is…” I caught a glance from her. “But what if they don’t like me?”
“They have to know the real you before they can like her. After finally meeting her, I can say that she is a very nice pony.”
“Well, Trix…I’ll try. Personally, I don’t think I’m very likable, but I’ll try.”
“You’ll do fine,” she said, taking my hoof in hers. I didn’t get the chance to reply before the food arrived.
We ate in silence and didn’t say much on the way home. She bid me good night and went inside her library as I entered my carriage. Alone again. No, not really alone…not anymore. I laid down in bed, a swirl of emotions running through me. I had a friend; maybe it would all be okay. Unless it all slips away. I wasn’t going to let it. I snuggled up and fell asleep, feeling better than I had in a long, long time.
For now anyway. Dream while you can. Heh heh heh.