//------------------------------//
// Sunday 
// Story: Beyond Me 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

I always woke up early on Sunday, and today was no different. The sky out the window was still dark when I opened my eyes, but I could see the room well enough through the light of the moon. It was less like a room and more like an attic with a bed and a few dressers and toys. I could also see that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had scooted closer to me while I slept, the latter laying with her back up against mine. I sighed because of it, and kept where I was so as not to wake her despite wanting to get out of bed to stretch my legs.
“What can I do today?” I asked myself silently. “I don’t have a bible or a catechism or anything to study with… I don’t even remember what the sermon for this week was going to be or what the bible verses were.”
I guessed I could sing quietly and try to think of a lesson I should learn for this week, but didn’t know what it should be.
“Maybe that it’s okay to be trans, or at least that you shouldn’t go out of your way to avoid talking to people who are like that,” I found myself thinking, which caused me to cringe and grimace at myself. My gut instinct was to say that it wasn’t what I was supposed to be taking away, but, of course, saying that meant I was in the wrong for saying I was a boy, too, and it made me feel bad to think.
“Ugh, what am I supposed to do, just accept what happened? I mean, it’s not even the same, because I’m actually a boy. It’s not the same at all.”
I could still be nice, though, and not avoid people who are different. That was probably the lesson I was supposed to be taking away. Probably. I mean, there was a chance that this was just a coincidence, and there was some other message I was supposed to be taking away.
“Yeah, right. I’ve been turned into a trangender pony and I’m living with a lesbian couple. That’s probably not a coincidence.”
I sighed to myself. How do I turn this into a bible message? I mean, there was the obvious message, treat others the way you want to be treated, and that you should love your neighbor as yourself. Of course, the bible says you shouldn’t associate with bad company, because bad company ruins good morals. Although I was fairly certain that they didn’t mean to completely ignore people, or talk bad about people in your head, which I did a lot.
“Besides, it’s not like you’re above sin,” I thought to myself. “Unless you’re going to say something out loud, you might as well just not say anything. Being mean, even in your head, is never appropriate.”
I knew that, of course, but it was hard to put into practice. Not that that was an excuse, it wasn’t, but still. Besides, what was written in the bible could be interpreted multiple ways. Being gay might have have been a commandment given just to the people of Israel, just like it was given to them how to celebrate Passover and build the tabernacle, with the ten commandments being what was given to the whole world to follow. And besides, there wasn’t anything in the bible that talked about being trans.
“Except it also talks about sexual immorality in other places of the bible, and in Genesis it says that in the image of God he created us; male and female he created us.”
Ugh, why did I have to think of that?
“Lord, please, I don’t want to be a girl… please give me some indication that I'm doing what’s right. Please, don’t let me have to stay a girl. I don’t want to be a girl for hundreds of years… please, just give me something to say that I won’t have to stay like this... give me something to tell me that I'm doing the right thing...”
I hated how much this was getting to me, every day so far it seemed like, except Tuesday, and I hoped it would get better soon, but I didn’t really count on it unless something changed. I was going to grow up and be an adult mare, and my body was going to fill with whatever hormones mares had, I assumed estrogen like I knew humans had, and it was going to be horrible. 
“Lord, please don’t let this happen to me,” I said aloud, forgetting about my sleeping companions as I sniffed and tried to hold back my tears.
“...Asher?” someone said, Sweetie Belle it sounded like, as I laid on my back and saw her sit up. “What time is it? Are you crying again?”
“No, I’m not,” I lied, keeping my voice steady as the tears dripped down. “It looks like it’s about to be dawn, I think.”
“What are you two doing up so early?” Scootaloo asked as she, too, sat up, using her hooves to rub her eyes. “I don’t even think it’s six yet.”
“I think Asher’s crying again.”
“I’m not,” I responded, taking a breath before continuing, “Well, I am, but not really. I’m trying not to. I was just thinking to myself about what we should do today.”
“And that made you cry?”
“No,” I sighed. “It was other stuff. It doesn’t matter.”
“Why do you cry so much?” Scootaloo asked. “I thought you said you were a colt. Colts don’t cry that much, and you cry more than Sweetie Belle.”
“Hey!”
“It’s because I feel bad," I sighed. "Yes, I know boys don’t cry that much, but when you’re a boy stuffed into… actually, I have a better way to explain it. Imagine if tomorrow, instead of being a filly, you became a colt, and instead of being a pony, you became a creature with only two legs, no fur, hands with long fingers instead of hooves, no tail, and you were transported to somewhere with a whole lot of other people that looked like you, and they all told you that you were crazy, and even the people who said you weren’t crazy said they wouldn’t do anything to help you? You’d probably be crying just as much as me, if not more.” I sighed again, adding, “Although being a girl is the worst part. It’s worse than everything else.”
“What’s wrong with being a girl?” Sweetie Belle asked innocently.
“There’s nothing inherently wrong with being a girl, it’s just… not what I’m supposed to be. It’s hard for me to ignore, and it makes me feel bad, and… I don’t like it…”
“Well, I wouldn’t cry,” Scootaloo declared. “I think it’d be cool to be somecreature else. Plus, I could see what it’s like to be a colt, too. It would be fun!”
“Ugh, nevermind. You don’t get it.”
I turned my head away and let the tears roll down silently for a minute, the room quiet for a while until Scootaloo spoke again.
“Soooo… what are we going to do today?”
Another sigh escaped me as I rubbed my eyes and rolled back over, answering, “I don’t know. Today’s the first day I won’t be at the doctor or in school or with the sun princess or anything, so… I don’t know.”
“Oh, we can go looking for our cutie marks!” Sweetie Belle suggested. “We could try being lumberjacks!”
“Ooo, that sounds fun,” Scootaloo agreed, turning to me, clearly wanting to know my opinion.
“I mean, I guess. I wanted to do church stuff, but I don’t know what to do.” She looked at me with a confused expression, and I explained, “Church is basically… to put it short, it’s…” I wanted to choose my words carefully, knowing that worship wouldn’t be a good way to describe it to them.
“Basically, it’s like school, kind of, except you spend an hour learning about God, and you do it on Sundays. Well, normally, there’s Sunday School for kids and bible study for adults for an hour, and then normal church service. It’s normally about 2 hours total. Go in at nine fifteen and leave at eleven fifteen.”
“You go to school on Sunday? Why?”
“To learn about and reflect on God. It’s every Sunday, and it’s nice. I like the people there.”
“That seems boring. Why would you want to do that?”
“It’s… well… we could get into that if you wanted me to, but I don’t know if you do… the very, very short version is that Jesus Christ died for your sins, and that you should both love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love other people just as much as you love yourself. Remembering the sabbath, remembering to go into church, is a commandment. That's why we go in, because of that, and because of how much God loves us. There’s more to it than that, but that’s the simplest way to explain it.”
“Who is Jesus Christ?”
“Jesus is the son of God, who He sent to the world to die for our sins.”
“Wait, what?” the filly asked, tilting her head in confusion. “What are sins?”
“Sins are… they’re basically things you’re not supposed to do. If you lie, that’s a sin. If you steal, that’s a sin. If you disobey your parents, that’s a sin. Sin is what… keeps people out of heaven. It’s what causes death. So because of sin, God sent his son Jesus to die for our sins so we don’t have to die.”
“Why don’t ponies where you’re from just not sin?” Scootaloo asked. “That way nopony has to die.”
“Because people are born into sin,” I explained. “Even if you don’t sin, you inherit sin from birth because of the sins of your parents, and their parents, and all the way back to original sin, which comes from Adam and Eve. Which is why Jesus was sent to die for our sins.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” Sweetie Belle piped in. “You can’t be punished for something you didn’t do, and somepony else shouldn't be punished because other ponies were bad.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t have to die because you disobeyed your parents, even if you weren’t supposed to.”
“Well, first, not sinning is impossible, because even hating someone in your thoughts is a sin. And second, even if it were, you’d still have original sin, no matter how unfair it may seem. But all you have to do is confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and that he died for your sins.”
“I don’t know, that still doesn’t seem fair. Why does his son have to die because other ponies are bad?”
“Because people by nature are sinful, and because both God, and Jesus, love you enough that He would die for the forgiveness of your sins. That's why Jesus died. To forgive you of your sins.”
“Well, why can’t he just forgive everypony without dying? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“Because His forgiveness isn’t just… like… you have to ask for forgiveness. If you don’t really care at all about changing, then what’s the point of being forgiven? You wouldn’t forgive a bully who’s just going to keep bullying you after you’ve been forgiven.”
“I still don’t see why he has to die,” Scootaloo asserted. “I mean, if everypony sins, then didn't the guy who died sin?”
“No, he- that’s what I was missing explaining. He was sinless so he-”
“I thought you said everypony had sin even if they didn’t,” Sweetie Belle jumped in.
“I did, but like I said, Jesus is the son of God. So because of that, he was truly sinless, and by his dying, he defeated death so that we don’t have to die. Just being forgiven wouldn’t defeat death, so that’s why he died. Without his dying, then when we died, we would go to hell because of our sins, but because he died for us, we don’t have to face that.”
“What is hell?”
“Hell is…” I once again stopped to think, trying to think about how to describe it to a kid without making it overly scary. “Hell is where sinners go. Like how heaven is a nice place, hell is… the opposite. Nobody wants to go there, because if you go there, that’s where you’ll stay forever to be punished for your sins. That’s why Jesus died for our sins. So he could stop us from going there as long as we believed in him.”
“But I thought you said that the pony who brought you here, God could do anything,” Scootaloo brought up. “Why doesn’t he just stop ponies from going to hell?”
“Because like I said, there’s no point in forgiving someone if they’re not going to change.”
The orange pegasus thought it over silently before telling me, “I don’t know. It still doesn’t seem fair to me.”
“Oh... well, whatever. Never mind. I’m not even sure it affects you because…” I looked down at myself and sighed, continuing, “Anyway, I guess we can count that as today’s… bible study. Not terribly complicated, but it’s always important to remember, I guess.” With that, I let out a silent prayer.
“Lord, thank you for sending your Son to die for my sins, and thank you for…” I tried to force myself not to feel bad as I continued, “Thank you for… giving me this… opportunity, however difficult it may be to me.”
“Anyway, so… cutie marks in lumberjacking. How do you plan on doing that?”



I had no idea what happened, but somehow we were covered in tree sap before lunchtime. I really didn’t know how we ended up that way, but I had to force myself not to freak out as I felt the hairs in my coat start to stick together. I absolutely hated it as we walked home. It was sticky and horrible as we walked back to Holiday and Lofty’s house, and I made a mental note that we wouldn’t do anything like that ever again. At the very least, I wouldn’t participate in it.
“I need another bath,” I thought as the three of us entered the home, Holiday and Lofty both greeting us as we stepped in. 
“Well, well, well, what happened here you three?” Lofty asked as she looked us up and down.
“Lumberjacking happened,” I answered as I sneezed and walked past her. “I’m going to go take a bath. Alone, please.”
“Actually, Miss Holiday and I wanted to talk to you, Asher,” she told me before I could get to far. “We’ve been waiting for you to come back so we could speak with you.”
“Can it wait until after I’m not all sticky?”
“It’ll only take a few minutes, I promise. Or we can talk to you in the bathroom if you want? It’ll just be us three, plus Holiday can help you scrub some of that… what is that?.”
I grumbled at that thought, answering, “Ugh, fine, but as long as it’s only us three. And it’s tree sap from lumberjacking. Don’t ask me how it happened because I don’t have a clue.”
Before I knew it, the three of us were in the upstairs bathroom, Holiday roughly scrubbing the sticky mess out of my back as she and Lofty started to talk to me.
“Lofty and I wanted to talk to you about… your maturity.”
“What is there to talk about?” I asked as she worked the brush into my coat and down to the skin beneath it. “I’m an adult. I don’t know what more needs to be said.”
“Well, ah, how old are you, Asher?”
“I’m twenty-five,” I answered flatly.
That caused the two of them to go silent for a moment. Holiday even stopped working my coat for a second in surprise. Clearly I’d caught them off guard.
“That’s, um… interesting, because Princess Celestia told us you were nine years old."
“Well, I’m about nine thousand days old, but I’m not actually nine. I mean, I'm nine here, but I'm twenty-five on Earth. Before I came here, I lived alone and went to work and paid bills and stuff. I can take care of myself.”
“But didn’t you say you were still in school, dear?” Holiday asked.
“Yes, but that’s college algebra and calculus and statistics and business administration, not… uhh, what grade are ten-year-olds in? Not fourth-grade math.”
“Well, you do still need to go to school anyway. Cheerilee told us you can’t read. Is that true?”
“I can read, but I can’t read in whatever language you guys use. She said I wrote in a language called unicorn script.”
“Well, then, it’d be a good thing for you to go to school and learn regular Ponish, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I guess, but isn’t school about to end anyway? That’s what Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle told me.”
“Well, it’s still best for you to go and get in what you can during the last two days of school before summer.”
“I don’t see why I have to,” I mumbled as I rolled my eyes.
“Sounds like somepony is being a pouty little filly,” Lofty responded, causing me to send a glare her way as my cheeks went red. “Errr, colt I mean. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not sure it’d make a difference if we treated you like a stallion or a colt, Asher,” Holiday said. “You wouldn’t be able to live alone or find a job or anything.”
“Yes, but…” But she was right. Being in this body had limitations, ones that I’d already experienced. Nobody was going to believe me about anything or take me seriously. There was practically no point in telling people I was an adult. But still…
“It doesn’t change the fact that I am one and want to be treated like one,” I explained. “I don’t want to be patronized, and I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t like it that all of you are just doing whatever you want with my life and not giving me any say at all. It’s not fair.”
“Well… actually, you’re right. We’re sorry,” Lofty apologized, her wife speaking up after her.
“You deserve to be listened to, especially since you’ve been saying you were an adult for days and we haven’t been listening to you. But you know we can’t just let you do whatever you want. You have to understand that.”
“I can live with that as long as you don’t completely ignore me like literally everyone else is. When I say I don’t want to do something, I’m not just saying it to be picky or difficult. I’ll more than likely have an actual reason for what I say.”
“We’re sorry. We’ll be better, we promise.”
“Okay, I trust you, and thank you. I really do appreciate it.”
There was another long minute of silence as Holiday scrubbed me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being cleaned once again, deciding that the best thing about being a pony was taking baths and getting my coat brushed. I also thought I felt my embarrassment about bathing in front of ponies, at least these two, starting to wane, which I figured was a good thing. I took a breath and settled back, taking the time to relax as I had my coat cleaned when Holiday spoke again.
“I do have a question, Asher,” Holiday started. “Do you… feel like a filly at all? Or have you ever felt like one?”
“Not at all and never once, not one little bit,” I answered. “Actually, it makes me feel bad that I’m stuck in this body, mostly because of that. It makes me feel terrible.”
“Can I… can we ask why?”
“Because I’m not what I’m supposed to be,” I answered. “I told those two this. It’s because I’m not what I’m supposed to be. It makes me feel terrible to look at myself too much or think about it a lot.”
“So… just to be clear, you don’t like being a filly, or you don’t want to like being a filly?”
“It’s definitely that I don’t like being a girl. At least if it were the latter, I wouldn’t feel quite so bad, because there’d be nothing to feel bad about. But right now… it’s horrible. Actually, it’d be easier to justify if I wanted to be a girl, because then God would have turned me into the thing I wanted to be. But I don’t, and he didn’t, and it’s… ugh. I hate it.”
“Maybe you could try embracing being a girl?” Lofty suggested.
“That’s like… ugh, I hate this example, I really hate this example, but that’d be like me telling you to just embrace marrying a stallion even though you didn’t want to… God, I hate this because it’s making it seem like I’m saying it’s okay to be trans, and I don’t think it is. But if it isn’t, then what I’m doing and the way I feel is wrong, too, because how could I just go against God’s will? I hate this so much.”
I was sure they could see the sadness on my face, because they frowned sadly at me and apologized again while I blinked the tears away.
“I’m sorry…” Holiday said. “Was there… was there anything you wanted us to do, dear? I mean, the princess did say that she thought you would see yourself more as a filly over time, but… was there anything you wanted us to do right now?”
“I don’t know if I want to feel more like a girl, but I’d at least feel better about myself if I did. I think so anyway. I don’t know. It might make me feel worse. But anyway, I don’t know, boys clothes would be nice… and books. Books on business management. And statistics, too. I don’t want to forget what I learned in class, in case there’s a way for me to get back to Earth. Please and thank you, if it’s no trouble. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Let Lofty and I see what we can find,” she responded. With that, she suddenly lifted me out of the tub and set me back on my hooves, announcing, “All done.”
I shook myself off as I grabbed a towel, doing my best not to blush as I gave a quick thank you and dried myself off.
“Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked.
“No, that was it,” Lofty told me, “except that Holiday and I probably won’t be watching over you in the long term. Princess Celestia said she’s going to have you staying with somepony else after the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“Oh, well… I think she said something about that. I can’t remember. But um…” My ears went flat against my head and I blushed as I admitted, “I kind of liked staying with you two, because you actually listen when I say something and try to help me…”
“Awww, well, we like taking care of you, Asher,” she smiled. “If we could, we’d take care of you longer, but we’ll come visit you after we leave.”
“I appreciate both of you, thank you.”