//------------------------------// // Reason 6: Communication // Story: Enough Reasons To Die // by Script Singer //------------------------------// What’s the point in trying to communicate if I can’t find the right words? Whenever I try to explain what’s going on it just goes all wrong and backfires on me. --- I walk down the school hallway, heading into the counseling room to speak to someone about my problems. A few of my friends managed to talk me into it so I decided I would at least try. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to reply.  “Come in.” I opened the door trying to put a smile on my face, but could hardly manage to keep it like that. “Hello, Script!” He uttered. “Is everything alright?” I took a seat as I rubbed my neck slightly. “Well, not exactly…” I muttered. “I haven’t really been myself as of late.” “What do you mean?” I stared at the floor as I struggled to find my words. “It’s just that… It’s like… Ugh, I don’t know anymore…” Why couldn’t I just open up to him? I chose to come here, so why can’t I find the right words to say? I think to myself. “Well, how are you feeling right now?”  “Like right now?” I asked. “Yeah.”  I let out a sigh as I tried to think of what to say. “Lost… I guess? Empty if that makes sense…” “What do you mean?” “It’s like I don’t really care anymore.” “Don’t care about what?” “Anything I guess…” I let out a sniff as I said that. “I just need it to stop…” “Need what to stop?” I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I broke down crying. “I need everything to stop… I can’t take it anymore… I don’t wanna be here anymore…” “Script, that’s something kinda serious to say.” The counselor looked at me with a look of concern. “You’re not thinking of…” “No,” I said, interrupting him. “I didn’t mean it like that, I mean, I’ve considered it in the past but I know it’s not a good idea.” “What do you mean by considering it?” I grabbed a tissue as I continued speaking. “Sometimes a suicidal thought would just pop up into my head but I would just quickly push it away and list the reasons why I shouldn’t do it.” Lately, it feels like those thoughts are growing stronger. Like they’re overpowering me. I wanted to tell him this, but I couldn’t figure out how. “Is there something on your mind?” He asked. “Yeah, I just don’t know how to say it…” I muttered. “It’s like there’s a door blocking the way of me trying to open up.” “Do you want to see if we can try to see what’s behind the door?” “I don’t know…” I sighed. “It’s hard to explain, maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea anyway…” I said getting up to open the door. “You sure? I’m here if you still need to talk.” “I’m getting kinda hungry, I might as well go to lunch.” I fibbed.  I walked out of the door before he could say another word. --- I sit at the lunch table, poking at my food with my fork. Radioflash sat down his tray and sat down next to me. I only continued poking my food not noticing him.  After a few moments of silence, he spoke up.  “Script,” Radioflash uttered.  I continued poking at my food but mumbled in response. “Are you feeling okay? You haven’t really been eating that much lately.” “I’m fine,” I muttered trying not to snap at him. “You sure?” “Mmhm…” “Script, we’re worried about you.” I threw my fork in frustration. “I said I’m fine! What part of that do you guys not understand?!”  I just stared at my friend. Radioflash is one of my few friends who has seen me at my worst and I hated that he would see me like this. I let out a sigh as my ears folded back. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled…” I muttered. “I’m just stressed out about school, that’s all…” “Script,” Radio uttered. “You know you can always talk to us if you need to.” “I’ll be fine, thank you,” I said as I got up throwing my lunch in the trash. “I should go study for the test today.” I fibbed as I began walking away.  I rushed over to a nearby tree and just sat myself down and began to sob.