//------------------------------//
// Town Tour. 
// Story: Bros in Equestria 
// by Mandroid 
//------------------------------//

	The morning light seeps in through the curtains. Something about Celestia's sun seems to make curtains a futile gesture. You regain consciousness to the sound of someone rummaging around in the kitchen, either Rainbro or Mous but you can't care right now. Your body isn't used to Equestrian booze yet, it seems. This hangover was much more fierce then the ones you got on Earth. The sounds in the kitchen stopped and were replaced by the sound of paper turning. 
What? Paper?
Your interest piqued, you open your eyes to see Mous sitting at the table skimming over a book, a bowl of cereal in front of him and a glass of water next to it.
"Breakfast of champions?" you ask still drowsy.
Noticing you're now awake, his eyes turn to you. 
"This is the only food in the house that hasn't gone bad from the lack of power. Or at least the only kind I would want to eat for breakfast." he says.
"I even have to settle for this Gorilla Munch crap we bought because I'm afraid opening a box of Apple Jacks will tear a hole in the universe or something." he says as he smacks his cereal box.
You chuckle and crawl off the couch. As you crack your joints you make a promise to actually sleep in a proper bed tonight.
"Do me a favor, grab some real food while you're with Twilight today." Mous says.
Twilight? huh? 
"What's she want?" you ask.
"She invited us both on a tour of the town when I picked up this book earlier today. She's been doing a bunch of research into us since we got here and apparently decided that today was a day to learn about how we interact socially." 
Social interaction, huh? You guess that could be interesting, you never considered yourself the life of a conversation but you'd give it a shot. Wait, "earlier today"? What time was it? You glance at the clock to see that it's still 7:30.
"She opens the library at dawn?" you ask.
Mous turns away from his bowl with a look the says he was on the same train of thought you were on now. 
"She said she was doing some research on the stars or something and lost track of time, she was about to turn in when I got there." he says.
"Why were you even there at dawn? What's in that book?" you ask
He closes the book and hold it up to read the title. 
"Anatomical Studies of  Adult Equines." he says. "I picked it up for work, I'd like to know what I'm getting into before I accidentally feel somepony up or something."
"Somepony?" you ask.
He holds up his hands and shrugs "It's the proper grammar. Get with the vernacular, man." he teases. 
You roll your eyes as you head to the shower.
After you were showered and dressed, you walk out to the living room again, Mous had gone to work and left his big ass book behind. You open the book and look at a page. It seemed to be mostly studies of muscles and nerves, a good find for a guy who worked at a spa. 
A slight mumbling from your couch made you look over and see Rainbro still passed out from last night.  You figure that her size probably had something to do with it, small body means less booze before you were out.
You walk over and shake her a bit "Hey, Rainbro, you still alive?" she starts to move on her own and eventually swats your hand away. 
Rainbro stumbles off your couch and shakily stands. "Oh man, I feel like death. How much did I drink last night?" she asks.
You look around, there are more than a few empty bottles on the floor, but a peek inside their bags show more left. At least you had less than your first night.
"I don't remember you drinking that much, but two nights in a row with alien booze can't have helped." you say, trying to reassure her.
You tell her what Mous told you, that Twilight wanted to take you on a tour of the town today. You asked her if she wanted to come along as well.
"Yeah, man, sure." she takes a few steps to the door and almost falls, you move at your best Kenyan speed and are able to catch her before she crashes into something.
"On second thought, you head to Twilight's, I'll meet you there after I grab something from my place." she says.
"You sure? You're not in your best way here." you don't want her crashing into some building or something trying to get home.
"Nah. It's cool, I fly better anyway, and the skies are supposed to be clear today." with that she steps out the front door and flies in an awkward pattern to the north.
As Dash flies, you walk. Ponyville already in sight. As you made your way to Twilight's house, you learned one thing. The sun here hurts just as much with a hangover as the sun back on Earth. You reach the door. Do you just walk in? This was her house but it was also a library, a public place.
After a moments deliberation you decide to walk in, as you do you call out. 
"Twilight? It's Anon, Mous said something about a tour?"
"Oh, Anon! I'll be down in just a second." you hear her call.
You take that time to look around the room, there seemed to be even more books then there were the last time you were here. You hear Twilight descending the stairs and turn to greet her. She doesn't look too much worse for wear for someone who spent the entire night awake. She must do this often. You on the other hand, must look like shit judging from the look she's giving you. 	
"Are you alright Anon? You look...haggard." she says.
You find a mirror on the wall. Shit, your hair is all fucked up and you've got bags under your bloodshot eyes. Equestrian booze must do worse to you then you though.
You turn back to Twilight. "It's cool Twi, I just need to walk it off." 
She doesn't look very convinced and you can't say you are either. The door opens again and a familiar cyan pegasus walks in. Rainbro is looking much better after whatever she got from her place. If you weren't there, you would swear she hadn't been drinking at all.
"Hey Rainbow, what are you doing here? Twilight asks.
"I invited her Twi, we were hanging out last night and she heard about the tour when I did." you say. 
Not entirely true, but you'd rather tell a white lie to Twilight then tell her that you both passed out on your couch after a night of binge drinking and Vin Deisel movies. 
"Is it cool if she tags along?" you ask.
Twilight gives you both a smile as she makes for the door. 
"Of course, the more we have on the tour, the more we can tell you about the town." she says as she walks out.
Before you follow, your turn to Rainbro. "Hey, what'd you grab from your house? You look way better than before we left." 
Rainbro looks to her side and grows a tiny smile 
"Heh. Yeah..." she says before she turns back to you and produces a small bottle with swirling colors inside. 
"This is liquid rainbow." she says. "We pegusi use it to clean out the rainbow factories in Cloudsdale, but it also works as a quick hangover cure." she holds the bottle to you.
Well damn, that sounds awesome, but you're not too sure about drinking the pony equivalent of axle grease. You take the bottle in your hand and find it's warm to the touch. No, not warm...Spicy. 
"Are you two coming?" you hear Twilight call. Shit, now or never. 
"Is it safe?" you ask her. 
Her eyes get a concerned look in them. "It's gonna feel weird, like a ride all its own, but you'll be safe." she says.
You pull the top off the bottle and down it all at once. You look at Rainbow. 
"I don't feel an diff-"
That's as far as you get before your skin starts to tingle, you feel an intense heat in your stomach and the rest of your organs feel like they're being sucked through a straw. The heat in your gut explodes and makes every blood vessel in your body feel like it has magma inside. Just as quick as it started, it's over. You're down on one knee as the feeling dies down. Rainbow comes over and helps you stand.
As the feeling returns to your body, you notice that you feel a lot better. Your head is clear and your stomach has settled. A quick look in the mirror shows that your eyes have cleared up as well.
From the corner of your eye, you see Twilight enter the library again. 
"Is everything alright in here?" she asks.
You turn to her. "Yeah Twilight, we're ready. Lead the way."
She turns and walks out the door as you prepare to meet the town that you'll be living in for the foreseeable future.
Ponyville was a nice town, you found out. It had a perpetually busy feel, but also retained an air of coziness As the you, Twilight, Spike and Rainbow walked down Mane Street, you learned that the town had been founded a hundred years ago by a group of settler ponies. As you walk through town, you passed by the same building you saw Pinkie at while you were getting breakfast a few days ago. This time you read the sign "Sugarcube Corner" it said. The smell of baked good wafted through the air, your mouth was watering at the smell of the confections this store had insi-
Your thoughts were interrupted by a mass of pink shooting out of a mailbox. "Hey Anon! are you here for your Welcome Party now?" it says.
You got your heart back into the appropriate rhythm after the samba it started beating a moment ago and turned your eyes to Pinkie. She had definitely shot out of a mailbox one sixth her size and tackled you to the ground. It seems Pinkie Pie can manipulate 4th dimensional space.
Twilight approaches the two of you as you get yourself up. 
"Pinkie, have you been planning this party since Anon got here?" she asks.
"Yep!" Pinkie beams."I've got snacks and punch and games and streamers." you have to nip this in the butt ASAP.
"Pinkie."
"And lights and music and I'll invite the whole town"
"Pinkie."
"And I've got a smoke machine and a disco ball and a-"
"PINKIE."
She stops talking for a moment and looks up at you. 
"I'd be happy to go to your party." you say.
Oh damn. Pinkie's smile grew three sizes that day, and that's saying something.
She grabs your face and compresses it between her hooves. 
"Behereateight!" she says as she zips inside faster than you can comprehend.
You turn to your friends 
"Is this normal for her?" you ask.
Rainbow suppresses a laugh "It is for Pinkie Pie."
You made a mental note to stop by the spa and tell Mous that you guys had a party tonight, he would probably complain. You come up on a building that looks like a merry-go-round on the edge of the town proper. 
"Who lives here?" you ask.
Twilight turns to you as you walk 
"This is Rarity's boutique, she's Ponyville's authority on fashion and this is where she makes all of it." she says.
Pony fashions, huh? Most of the ponies you saw seemed to walk around naked, but far be it from you to tell people what to do. 
"Can we go inside?" you ask. The concept of pony cloths intriguing you.
You hear Rainbow scoff "No, Rarity had some big rush order in town. She's always neck deep in some project or something."
Spike has remained quiet for most of your walk, but he turned to you both at that. 
"It's not Rarity's fault that she has a lot of work. Being Ponyville's most successful fashion designer would keep anyone busy, especially when they see what she designs."
Rainbow had told you about Spike and his crush on Rarity one night while the two of you were drinking. Laying it on a little thick there buddy.
You continue your tour, passing the post office, the market, and a store that specialized in quill pens and sofas. You had to remember to stop by the market for food later. The four of you eventually come up on the largest apple orchard you'd ever seen, hills went as far back as you could see and every one of them was covered in apple trees. You could guess who lived here.
As you walk up to a large red barn, you spot a large red pony moving crates of apples from a nearby cart. Your party approached him and Twilight did the talking. 
"Hey Big Macintosh, is Applejack here?" she asked.
"Eeyup." the great red stallion says.
"Great." Twilight says "Can you tell us where?"
Big Macintosh remained silent, but pointed to a nearby part of the orchard. Twilight nodded her thanks and lead the rest of you down the path.
You lean in to Rainbow. 
"Not much of a talker, is he?" you ask. 
Rainbow elbows you and winks "It's all about what you say to him, he never shuts up if you can get him going." 
Your footsteps through the apple orchard are punctuated by the occasional "THUMP" coming from behind the curtain of trees. You noticed that it got louder as you kept walking. You notice a certain tan pony rearing back and kicking the trees, dozens of apples rained down as she connected.	Applejack was certainly good at that, it seemed, she had almost a half dozen baskets of apples sitting under a nearby tree. She see's all of you and canters toward you.
"Howdy Ya'll, what're you guys doin' here?" she asks
"I thought I'd show Anon here around the town." Twilight answers. You offer a slight wave to Applejack at mention of your name.
She tilts her hat to you as she looks behind you. 
"Ah guess your friend didn't want to come?" she asks.
"Sorry, no, Mous had work at the spa today." you say.
"Spa huh?...Ah may have to stop by there sometime." she says as she walks back to her baskets.
She turns to the four of you 
"Say, while Ya'll are here, ya mind helpin' me get these apples back ta the barn?" she asks.
You nod and start towards the baskets, grabbing one and seeing that it is lighter then you thought. Maybe you could get a job working the apple fields?
The walk back to the barn proved longer then you thought, and the basket of apples you had seemed to gain 30 or 40 pounds along the way. Maybe you should look for a less physically challenging job. You wish you could be like Twilight, levitating four baskets of apples as if it were nothing. Applejack and Rainbow seemed to be having a much easier time as well. As you plant the baskets in front of the barn, Applejack approaches you again. 
"Thanks for the help Anon, ya ever need some work, you just stop on by." she says.
You're fairly certain your body would mutiny on you if you pulled something like that, but you thank Applejack for the offer and follow Twilight and Rainbow off the farm.
"Where to now?" you ask.
"Just one more stop." she says "We have to go see Fluttershy at her house."
Fluttershy huh? You remembered Fluttershy, she seemed really nice. You remember she was staring at you an awful lot, too.
Fluttershy seemed to live pretty far out of town, you've been walking for almost a half hour now. Most of the time is spent talking to Rainbow about your limited knowledge of sports from Earth.
"So, wait, they play it with brooms?" she asks unbelieving. 
"On ice at that." you reply. 
She seems to get frustrated and puts her hooves to her head. 
"I don't get it! why don't they just your normal sticks?"
You laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. 
"I have no idea." you tell her.
Fluttershy's house was located near the forests edge, you saw a small stream flowing just in front of her house as your approached. The entire area reminded you of a Snow White. The four of you reach the front of the house and you knock on the door. "
"Oh. Be right there!" you think you hear from behind the door.
Fluttershy opens the door "O-Oh, hello everyone. What are you all doing here?" 
Was she looking at you when she said that last part? You must be imagining it. Right?
Twilight answers for all present 
"We were just showing Anon around town." she says.
Fluttershy seems to perk up and gives a smile. "Oh, well, please come in." 
You follow your friends inside. The house is a small cottage, assorted furniture is placed around the living area and you see a kitchen off to the right.
Out from the kitchen came a small rabbit. The rabbit looked at Fluttershy and stomped it's foot repeatedly. 
"Oh, excuse me." Fluttershy says. "You can all take a seat, I just have to give Angel here his lunch."
Your stomach mush have heard the word "lunch", if it raising hell all of a sudden had anything to do with it.  You just remembered that you neglected to grab anything before you left the house this morning. You'd just have to deal with it and stuff yourself at the party.	
Fluttershy returns from the kitchen and takes a seat on a nearby chair. The rest of you sitting on a couch across from her. Were her wings standing up like that before? Maybe Dash knew something about it, she seemed to be giving her a look. It was probably just a pegasus thing.
"So Anon, how are you liking Ponyville so far?" Fluttershy asked you.
"It's really nice here, I haven't met a lot of ponies, but everyone I have seems to be really nice. The area is beautiful as well." you say.
Fluttershy's cheeks darken a bit "I...I could help you meet ponies...if you want."
"That's very nice of you Fluttershy, but Pinkie Pie is throwing Mous and I a party tonight. She said she's inviting the entire town as well, I figure I'll meet some ponies there." you answer.
She looks a bit dejected at that. An awkward silence hangs in the air as you shift in your seat a bit. You are about to say something when a chicken runs through the room. Wait, what?
Your eyes are still fixed on the point where the errant chicken left the room.
"Uh...did anyone else see tha-"
Suddenly chickens. Chickens everywhere. 
No. Not just chickens, squirrels, rabbits, birds and everything between it seemed. After the animals have run their course, you start to gingerly put your feet back down as if the fear that placing them down to hard would spark another stampede.
"What was that!?" Rainbow called out, head popping out from behind the far end of the couch. 	She must have fallen off when the animals came through.
"Oh no!" Fluttershy yelled. "The animals must have escaped from their cages!" she looked close to tears. Ohgoddontcry.
"It's Okay Fluttershy, we can find them." Twilight says jumping off the couch.
She turns to the rest of you on the couch.
"Rainbow Dash, you fly up and try and spot the animals from the sky." Rainbow jumps up and gives a salute before flying out a nearby window.
"Anon, you and I will search for any anima-
"Um. I'll go with Anon." you hear Fluttershy squeak out.
You, Twilight, and Spike all turn to look at Fluttershy. 
"Uh...I mean...If he doesn't mind." Oh god is she about to cry again?
"I don't mind." you hear yourself say. 
"Alright then, Spike and I will take the front of the house while you and Fluttershy take the back." Twilight instructs.
You follow Fluttershy out her back door and gaze at the dense forest before you. This was going to take a while, it seems.
You and Fluttershy sift through the forest for a few hours. For your hard work, you were rewarded with finding a good amount of animals all clustered around a small lake. After you lead them back, Fluttershy tallied the results from all of your hunts.
"Oh my goodness, Angel is still missing." she says.
Angel; that rabbit you saw when you first came here. Damn. Finding a single rabbit in an entire forest was going to be hard. You all decide to slip up again, you and Fluttershy taking off into a slightly deeper part of the forest this time. Despite searching high and low, you couldn't find this elusive rabbit anywhere. You looked up at sun. It was getting dark, nightfall would make it twenty times harder to find this rabbit.
"Oh! Anon, come look over here!" you heard Fluttershy call out.
You found Fluttershy hovering over a small hole in the ground. Well, small for you, but roomy for a six inch rabbit.
"You think he went in there?" you ask as you motion towards the hole.
Fluttershy nods to you.
"Alright then." you say.
Doing the gentlemanly thing, you bend down and stick your hand in the hole to feel around...nothing. You try a bit deeper and still yield no prize. You start to crawl in the hole a bit to continue searching. You really hope this isn't some badgers nest or something equally inclined to maul you. 
You keep feeling around for Angel until you discover that you can go no further. Try as you might, you still can't seem to go any further. Defeated, you start to move back only to discover that you couldn't move that way either. 
Panic sets in as you violently throw yourself back and forth attempting to dislodge yourself to no avail. You were trapped. In a hole. In the middle of the woods.
"Fuck."
"Fluttershy!" you call out.
...Nothing.	
"FLUTTERSHY!" you try again. You were not dying down here.
This time you got a fait "Anon?" as a response.
Crap. How deep were you?
"FLUTTERSHY! I'M STUCK! CAN YOU PULL ME OUT?" you yell to her.
You don't hear her yell back, but you can feel her start tugging on your pant leg. You do your best to wriggle your waste out, but the ball seems to be in Fluttershy's court for all the difference you're making. Fluttershy stops pulling and lets go of your leg for an instant, you almost call back to her when you feel her grab you again. But this wasn't your leg, this was a little higher up. Was Fluttershy copping a feel? You feel her let go again and you start to fear the worst. You really didn't want to think of Fluttershy as somepony who would cop a feel on someone and leave them to die in a hole. 
Just then you feel something grab your opposite leg and pull hard. Something else grabs your other leg and joins the first entity. The pulling seems to loosen you. You redouble your wriggling efforts and feel yourself start to break free of the dirt. You eventually break free and are thrown back out of the hole, landing on your back. You right yourself and are greeted to the sight of Rainbow Dash standing over you 
"Are you alright Anon?" she asked.	
"I'm fine Rainbow, what are you doing here?" you say.
"I saw Fluttershy trying to pry you out of this hole while I was looking for you both." she replied.
Looking for you? 
"Why?" you ask.
"We found Angel in Fluttershy's bedroom under her bed. I came out to find you two before it got dark." she says.
Whatabro.
You, Rainbow and Fluttershy arrive back at the house, all of you rather caked in dirt. Twilight was herding the animals you all found back into their cages. You take a quick peek at the clock; 6:15. Shit, it was late. You excuse yourself from your friends and hurry back home to clean yourself off for this party. Your minds keeps going back to what happened in the hole; Fluttershy didn't seem like the type to try and feel you up in a dangerous situation. Fluttershy didn't seem like the type to feel you up at all. 	You push today's unpleasantness from your mind as you come up on your house. You step inside and head back to Mous's room, you knock and open the door to find him using the smallest paintbrush you've ever seen and a magnifying glass to on one of his models.
"What are you doing?" you ask.	
"Painting purity seals." he responds.
He glances up at you "What'd you do? Get in a fight?" he asks.
"I got stuck in a hole helping Fluttershy find a lost pet." you say.
Oh shit, the party.
"Hey, finish up, we have a welcome party in about an hour." you tell him.
He puts down his magnifier and sighs. 
"When was there a party scheduled?" he asks as he turns to you.
"Earlier this morning, when Pinkie Pie jumped me."
He rubs the bridge of his nose and sighs again. 
"I really don't want to go to any party."
"Oh, stop being a hermit. We're new here and it would do us some good to make a few friends."
You hear him call back as you walk to your bathroom. "I HAVE friends."
You get your shirt off and stick your head out the door. 
"You have two bosses, six friends you ignore, and me. You need more friends." you say as you shut the door.
He'll go.
One shower and change of clothes later, the two of you are walking the dark road from your house to Ponyville.
"I still think this is dumb." Mous says with his hands in his pockets and a frown on his face.
"You think everything is dumb." you retort.
"And I have yet to be proven wrong in that regard." he defends.
Sheesh. Mous was your best bro and all, but he could be a real downer sometimes. The two of you arrive at the hill overlooking Sugarcube corner to spot what looks like a small convention instead of a welcome party.
"Huh." you say "I guess Pinkie wasn't kidding when she said she invited the hole town."
Mous shoots you a scowl and starts towards the party. "Let's just get this over with." he says.
You follow behind him with a chuckle, determined not to let his crap attitude ruin your fun.