For Want of a Battle
1/5
How does one begin to describe an epic event? With an image? A town of some 10,000 souls, gingerbread style wooden village houses, a central town hall in a circular shape like an overgrown gazeebo? View, coming in from the sky, gleaming white and gold carriage drawn by winged horses in armor? But that isn't where it starts. Here is where it starts:
The Stallion in White fled and the History Professor followed. Do ya kennit?
"C'mon Shining Armor, she's gaining on us! Run for your life! And mine, too." the little dragon was using a certain amount of hyperbole.
"HEATHSPIKE BELL YOU COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! I will not have you parading around town with a dirty face! Captain, come back here!" She would likely have started using magic at this point, but she became Mare-interrupted when an immovable force of white and purple met an irresistible obstacle of yellow and pink.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going and you came out of nowhere... Oh, my, you're all covered in mud. Here let me help."
'Help!? You already covered me in more muck than is reasonable.' thought the mud covered unicorn. "No matter, a simple cantrip and I will be-" Her words were drowned out by a deluge of rain.
'Hmm. I'd better not make a habit of doing that every time there's a problem.' Fluttershy considered, "Are you-"
"Rarity? Are you ok, we noticed you weren't..." Stallion and dragon took in the sight of a sopping wet white unicorn and contrite yellow pegasus. Self-preservation was overwhelmed by the sheer ridiculousness of the scene, and they collapsed over each-other laughing helplessly. Rarity, for her part started emitting a low growl.
"I-I can still fix this, hold still please." Fluttershy began circling the unicorn at high speed, generating a funnel of wind-force that all but sucked the moisture from the bewildered Rarity.
"You ok, Rarity? It's a good thing you keep your hair short or you'd look... "Shining Armor struggled to remain composed. "look ... ridiculous."
Spike was too far gone and completed the thougth, "yeah, more ridiculous." That was too much and they fell back to the ground in laughter, tears coming to their eyes. Fluttershy even managed a few chuckles before composing herself.
"I, I don't think I've ever seen you here before. Are you new?"
"What? No, my family lives in Ponyville, although I suppose it Has been two years since the last time I visited..." Rarity's outrage collapsed under lack of support in her own mind. "Pray tell who are you?" 'Time to regain some semblance of control here.'
"Oh, I'm Fluttershy, nice to meet you miss...?"
"Err, Rarity, Rarity Bell, of the Bell family. This is my ... assistant Heathspike, and this ... gentlecolt is Captain Shining Armor of her Majesty's Royal Guard and Adjutant in Charge of preparations for the Princess's visit during the Summer Sun Celebration. What do you do, dear?"
"I'm captain of the weather team"
"Wait, You're 'Hurricane' Fluttershy!?" Shining Armor had apparently recovered from his amusement, and also seemed to have excellent hearing, AND a good memory for bureaucratic gossip. 'Duly Noted.' Rarity commented to herself. 'Now to get back to busniess.'
"Shining, isn't item two on your checklist 'ensure clear skies'? ... That's not what I see." Rarity gestured to the partly cloudy sky.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. You see, this morning I had to help a friend, and then there was a fight I helped break up and then I crashed into... uh, you. B-but I'll get right on..." Overhead pegasi raced from cloud to cloud, bucking them to bits. The sky was clear in two minutes, flat. "... writing a few commendations."
"Well, you certainly run a well disciplined team Captain Hurricane." Shining Armor complimented the pegasus.
"Please call me Fluttershy, ok? I never wanted a nickname. And I don't discipline my little ponies, I just let them know when they're doing well, and talk with them when they're having trouble. We don't have many problems, anymore." Nopony chose to challenge this last part.
'My time, at least, is valuable. I've got to have time to assess the situation on the ground here, although, the girl does look like she has talent, best not to alienate her.' "It was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Weather-Captain Fluttershy, but as I'm sure an excellent organizer such as yourself can tell we are desperate to run through the items on our checklist. So if you'll excuse us, ah hahaha..." Rarity began gently nudging the stallion along the road toward Sweet Apple Acres, while telekinetically placing her ward onto her back.
This time she was prepared, so when the blonde orange earth pony barreled down the path, Rarity leapt to the side with a triumphant shout. The earth pony was not impressed and continued running. "Uh, Rarity? She looked kind of upset. Shouldn't we try to help her?" Spike asked. 'Oh my little Heath, so caring of Others' feelings. I hope the world never grinds that out of you.'
"Spikey, we have to respect her right to privacy - she obviously wants to be alone right now."
"TWILIGHT!?" Shining Armor's mind raced from shock to surprise to remembering where his little sister had first gone on a mission and eventually found a new home - a fact he was embarrassed to have forgotten, even temporarily. Then he took in her posture, half covered in mud, struggling to rise from her back, shocked, bruised, and ... ashamed!? "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" Anger and Outrage were wrestling with Duty and Decorum, and the 'd's were losing.
"BBBFF? W-what are you..." 'Oh, yeah, I have my own siblings and family - and here I was being so petty when- Twilight burst into tears all over again.
Red, a wall of Red was blocking Shining Armor's vision. At first he panicked that rage had made him go blind. The fact that he was able to consider this possibility made him fairly sure it wasn't the case, so he backed up enough to see that it was in fact a larger stallion standing in front of him - which put 'Big Red' in between him and Twiley, which was a mistake in Shining's opinion. "You, move, now. Not asking again."
"Look, ... Captain," Big Mac guessed at the Unicorn's rank from his armor. "this here's a mess of a situation and we all need to remain ca-" The sound Mac's jaw made when Shining Armor kicked him was crystal clear for yards in the sudden silence. Macintosh held up a hoof to forestall any eager 'family assistance'. The red stallion looked down on the upset unicorn, making the connection with Twilight's description of her 'Big Brother Best Friend Forever'. "You git ONE free shot. Do that again and we have issues."
Rarity mentally facehoofed, after making sure she had full traction on the Captain. 'Siblings, of course I forgot to research that one important-why the Buck is his "little sister" living out here!?' "Captain Armor, please calm down, there Will be a satisfactory resolution to this, I assure you, but first we must find the tru-"
"Shiny, this is all my fault. Please don't do anything to the Apples, I'm the one who got in a fight with Applejack when I had no business being jealous of her to begin with. Siblings are... siblings are imp-" nopony stopped the two unicorns from hugging and crying this time.
"So, ah, Macintosh - isn't it?"
"Eyup. Professor Bell?"
"Ey-that's correct. Assistant Professor though, no point in putting the horse before the cart, ahahaha... I... think we need to leave the 'Sparkles' alone for a while, don't you?"
"Eyup."
"We, ehehe... Captain Armor is actually here to tally the food preparations for the Celebration tomorrow. I propose we save a little of everypony's time and you just tell me if you feel the Apples are still able to meet that demand?"
"Eyup." 'Well, isn't he... efficient. I could tell that was a yes to both parts of my question.'
"Then I shall take up no more of your time. A pleasure." 'Wait... perhaps I can accomplish some personal goals as well...' "Oh do excuse me Mr. Macintosh, but don't you have a little - err a little little sister?"
Nopony spoke as they returned to the center of town to examine the Town Hall. They entered the building and still nopony spoke, although for different reasons now. 'Hmm... excellent use of color, the tabbards complement the long timbers of the supports, and the myriad hues and patterns bring to mind the varied colors shapes and marks of the ponies themselves. Impressive. I must meet the pony responsible for this display.' Wish no more than thought, it was granted, a blue pony picked up a last length of cloth and tied it in a bow around a central beam support, using a curious technique that involved both her forehooves and wings.
"Wow, ok Rarity I think we can check decorations off the list now." Shining said, keeping his voice down as though not to interrupt anything.
"Oh, hey guys, 'sup? Gimme' a minute he-... HAIR!"
"What? Where?" Spike cried, sensing the alarm but not the context.
"THERE!" The distraught pegasus cried, already barreling for the alarmed unicorn.
'Oh for crying out loud, did I really forget to fix my hair after that whole "pony typhoon" incident? Ugh, I've been walking all over town looking like a fool.' Further frustration was interrupted as the pegasus scooped Rarity up and settled her on the blue back of her abductor. "What, this is ridiculous, un-hoof me at once!"
"That HAIR is what's ridiculous! You're not bringing it within a hundred yards of a party I'm helping with - so there's no help for it but for me to give you a makeover!" 'Ugh, even if it makes me sick to think of doing it.' Rainbow Dash thought to herself.
Rarity saw a vision of herself in a tight dress with built in corset, a top-hat draped jauntily in her hair, bits of clockwork steaming around the perimeter. "No, wrong genre."
Another blur and whirl, this time she was dressed in Khaki Pants and overshirt, cotton undershirt, with a safari helmet and orange ascot, "eh, too Rule-34".
She was getting dizzy, outfits were applied and disappeared like magic - which was when she remembered she had that particular talent covered and used telekinesis to break free. She was wearing dayglow legwarmers, black hotpants and a green mesh top, her sensibly short hair had been spiked out all over. A moment's head shaking and some vigorous magic brought her back to her natural state.
"Eh, heh, maybe I got a little too carried away..." Rainbow allowed.
The front door crashed open as Stallion and Dragon Rider made a dramatic entrace, Spike wielding a broom as a lance. The stallion looked at the scene and froze, almost. "You!"
"Shiny Hiney!" 'Oh man, this is just too perfect. Huh, didn't take him as a fan of prissy, but not my business I guess.' "How's it going?"
Rarity was not the only student of the mystic arts, as Shining Armor proved by turning a rescue operation into the Great Escape by grabbing the other unicorn in a telekinetic bubble and booking with her it tow. "Trust me, we need to get away from here as fast as possible." Armor shouted to his companions, already outside the building and fleeing town.
Miles from town the dragon and unicorn had managed to ease the knight into a more relaxed state. "I'm sorry for freaking out back there Rarity, but that mare is nothing but trouble."
Rarity considered Shining's reddened cheeks. 'File that blush away for further study, right now I've got to get the last few items on this list checked off - the day is more than half wasted already!' "Well, in any case, we have one last major item on the list, the musical accompaniment. You seem to have inadvertently led us to the right place - that cottage up ahead." Rarity was moving under her own power again, and so she had Spike planted safely on her back.
Therefore the two unicorns beheld the pink pony before Spike did. She was an earth pony, somewhat subdued of expression, shoulder length mane, pink, with a slight curl at the ends, covering half her face. What was visible of her was startled by an intrusion on introspection. A flock of birds took flight as if in sympathy with her surprise. The pink pony snapped her head around to watch them fly away and then flipped about to face the interlopers, her expression somewhere between mild irritation and hesitant hospitality.
"I had not expected visitors at this hour. I am Diane Pie, whom am I greeting, please?"
"I-" Rarity began, before being gently pressed aside.
"I'm Captain Shining Armor of the Roya-"
"Shining Armor!? Is-do you have a sister? About this tall, purple, slightly too fond of research?"
"Y-yeah, wow, you sound like you know-wait, are you two friends?"
"That wouldn't be an inaccurate description."
"Wow, that's great! I-I kinda thought she was making you up."
Rarity didn't bother to disguise her facehoof. 'Of all the - I know Ponyville is a close knit community, but this is positively inbred.' "Well, it's wonderful that introductions are through with-"
"They are not. I apologize for not giving you a chance to introduce yourself and your... guest." Diane narrowed her eyes looking at Rarity, almost through her...?
"Of course, I am Rarity Bell. One of my other hats besides recorder to Adjutant Armor here is Assistant History Professor of Canterlot Central University. And I think you were referring to my son, Heathspike just now."
If the pink pony was taken aback she covered it well. Spike was not so skilled at schooling his reactions. He gaped in awe at the Pink Pony Perfection presented before him - one could imagine cartoon hearts popping up all around him - pink, of course. "She's beautiful."
While Shining Armor looked at the trees nonchalantly, the two mares backed from each other in shock. 'Oh no, this is NOT happening. My little Spikey-wikey isn't supposed to find another member of his OWN SPECIES for at least another two decades if I have any say in the matter.' Rarity paused to consider the matter, nodding once, sharply. 'Which I DO, of course. Mother knows best, time to nip this-'
"I couldn't ever return your feelings. It may sound painful to you now, but allowing your misconception to fester would only becomes a burden to all of us."
'Oh, you WITCH! How dare you stamp on my little Heathy's heart like that!' "And just what exactly makes you think Heathspike isn't good enough for you? I'll have you know this is the most lovable little dragon to have ever existed!"
'Oh dear, I have invoked a mother's wrath, this will be... intricate.' Diane considered her options. "Perhaps I did speak too quickly. Fair Heathspike, what say you?"
"Hwfaflup. Uh, I'm... I'm cool." The dragon obviously struggled not to cry.
'Augh! Why are matters of the heart always the hardest to mend?' "Perhaps a bond of friendship could salve your wounded heart? I am not a bad pony, although I may be more fond of direct resolution than many care for."
'I'm watchin' you, sister.' "Well, that's better than spitting on him, I suppose." Rarity growled. The pink pony shrank back slightly.
Spike jumped down, giving Rarity a glare as he passed. "Look, this is all my fault. I..." blush managed to force it's way past dragon scales. "Ok, look, I think you're pretty. Just, can we all get past that? Please... mom?" Diane had turned away from the rest of the group and seemed to be trying to coax the birds to return to their previous perches on the nearby tree.
"Oh, I'm sorry my little Spikey-wikey. You're just growing up so fast, I don't want you to forget me when you become a big strong, powerful, handsome dragon like I know you will."
"Rarity! Quit it, you're embarassing me!" 'Ok, if he's back to calling me by name I guess he's as recovered as he's going to be at this point.'
"Ahem, yes, well. I have retrieved most of my flock. Captain, I assume you are here about the preparations, yes? Would you three perhaps care for a preview of tomorrow's performance?" Nopony mentioned that her face was still fading back to it's normal shade of pink.
Shining Armor decided this was a safe place to reenter the conversation. "I, ah, think that won't be necessary. I'm sure any performance you put on couldn't help but be entertaining." Oops, no it wasn't. Rarity snagged her two companions and began dragging them away.
"It was quite educational meeting you, dear. Rest assured we Will speak again, I'll be sure of that."
'Why was it I wanted to meet more ponies again?' Diane grumbled to herself as she sought to center herself before addressing the birds again. Despite herself she was smiling.
"Wasn't it just so very kind of the Mayor to let us use the town Library as our base of operations like that, don't you two think?" Rarity was quite proud that it had only taken a few gentle suggestions to convince the Mayor to switch their assigned lodging.
"Uh yeah, hooray, more books." Spike groused.
"Heathspike, we are here on important business, business that will be resolved all the quicker if we have access to historical documents and writing materials. Oh, I don't think we have time to go see Sweetie Bell and your Grandparents before I start on this, I'm sorry Spike. Well at least you two will have ano-"
Whatever else Rarity was about to say was interrupted by her entrance to the library, or rather, the crowd of ponies piled inside who flipped on the lights and shouted "Surprise!" loudly. Spike leapt off and started to mingle before Rarity could tell him not to, she didn't know where these ponies had been.
"So, uh, welcome to Ponyville. Uh, welcome BACK to Ponyville, I guess." The lackluster speech was given by a suspiciously familiar looking orange pony who looked as though she had recently washed her face. While trying to form a response, Rarity was denied her other backup when Twilight Sparkle snuck in from the side and half led half dragged her brother away to talk.
"This was... unexpected, to say the least. You know, I DO come back here on occasion, I don't know why everypony always seems to surprised to see me."
"Eh, you're somethin' of a celebrity from what I gather. The girl who made good, y'know."
"oh." Rarity blushed.
"So, what exactly brings you back to town? Kinda' think it's different from my reason."
"Well, why don't you tell me your reason and we can compa-"
"Hold on there 'sugarcube', I've already had mah embarrasin' welcome home party. B'sides..." The orange pony made a quick sidestep as a white and two tone purple missile struck Rarity amidships.
"RARITY!"
"Sweetie Bell! What are you... oh, right... wouldn't be much of a 'Welcome Home' party without." She continued to hug her little sister as a horror of realization struck her. She picked her little sister up and looked her in the eye. "Sweetie, where is Father?"
"Over there, by the punch- Whee!" The smaller unicorn squealed in delight as her older sister rushed through the crush of ponies to avert a disaster she knew was already in progress.
"Heavy Tone, you step away from that punchbowl immediately!"
"Huh, oh, ok. All done Rari-bear. How's my little all grown up smartie-smart doin'?" The poorly hidden bottle by the edge of the table was empty. 'Oh dear, and there's Berry Punch, next in line.' Any further attempts at damage control were subverted when her father picked her up in the bearhug he called affection. She made one last futile wave with her hoof, already knowing it was too late.
It was quite a party, it was just that Rarity felt it might well have doomed the world. 'And it wasn't THAT good a party. Although it was precious watching the green pegasus try to teach Lyra "the song of our people", heh, serves her right for drinking so much punch. But I do pity Bon Bon the next few hours of her life.' Rarity contemplated the situation. 'Maybe "Nightmare Moon" is a kind, reasonable monster out of history who had to be locked away in the moon.' She snorted at her own attempt at optimism. Dabbing her face with a washcloth, she looked anxiously out the window, where she had a prominent view of the full moon.
She reached over to the basket where her adoptive son slept peacefully. 'Of course Father thought it would be fun for him to have a sip of "punch", ooh sometimes he just...' She smiled, because it was better than crying, and really - only those you let into your heart can truly frustrate you to wit's end. "Wakey wakey my little dragon, if we're to attend the end of 'Days' we shall at least do it standing up."