Chapter 11
You Can Never Go Home.
Within the last few seconds, I have been through three rather jarring emotional states. First was attraction. Attraction for a stallion in my dreams. The implications of that very notion is something I would rather not think about. However the question is like a lump of molten iron in my hand. Or hoof if the case maybe. The longer I hold on to it, the more it burns.
“Why was I feeling that?” The mere notion of this is causing me some serious distress. After all, I don’t have these feelings while I am awake. Then again, I haven’t been around enough stallions to figure out if any such feelings would manifest themselves. I really hope they don’t. But that feeling of rage that spiked through me when I realized what was happening could be a good indicator that I don’t really feel this way and that it was nothing but part of the dream.
It’s just my mind manifesting some horrible fear. A fear that is to be confirmed or falsified sometime in the future. Speaking of fear, that is my current emotional state. This is due to the fact that I am now falling through inky blackness with pieces of shattered reality accompanying me. Little fragments of what look to be glass that turn and twist around me. I can barely make out the surfaces, but I can see little images on each of them.
Turning my attention downward I see some faint lights forming. Two pinholes in the inky blackness that surrounds me on all sides. As I continue to fall, I can see them more clearly and they shift in colour. They’re yellow. They continue to grow and grow. As they do so, fear begins to grip me tighter and tighter, almost threatening to strangle me.
The whooshing of ethereal air in my ears is replaced with a familiar noise: Whooooooo!
It is more than apparent to me what those glowing lights ahead of me are. Owloysius’s form seems to pull itself out of the inky blackness like he’s pulling himself out of some sort of tar pit. When finally free, he starts flying at me, his form seeming grow and grow as if he were pulling mass from the surrounding area. His beak opens wide and a horrible voice emanates.
“ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE!!!”
I look at the approaching owl in confusion. “What?!”
“ACCEPT BEING HEARTBREAK,” the voice booms.
The implications of what this strange voice coming out of Owloysius is starting wash over me. It wants me to give in for some reason, I wonder if this is connected to the prior dream - Something in my mind trying to force me to be something I am not. What’s more, I still hate that name, and being in a dream state doesn’t make this go away. No, if anything, it only intensifies it.
The bird speaks again. “ACCEPT BEING A MARE, HEARTBREAK!”
Rage is now pulsing through me. Rage at that name, rage at my current state, rage at that previous dream, and most of all: Rage at that fucking bird.
“NO! I WILL NEVER LET ANYTHING CHANGE WHO I AM!” I scream at the oncoming bird.
“ACCEP-” he is about to begin. However, my flying hooves have other plans. They meet up with the face of this creature and cause the world to fold up around me.
“NO! NEVER!” I cry out. “I WILL NEVER ACCEPT BEING HEARTBREAK!”
The words almost jump out of my mouth in the small span of time before I wake from this nightmare. I gasp for breath and I am covered with sweat as morning light pierces my retinas. I am shivering and shaking from everything that went through my mind. As intense as the dream was, the images turn from vivid to dull in seconds.
I lay there on the cushion near the window not wanting to move, not wanting to get up. I know sooner or later I am going to have to. That dream nearly scared the piss out of me.
“Today is going to be...interesting...” I think to myself.
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Twilight heard the rumbling noise of a bus behind her and the voices of others around her. Looking around, she found herself at the entrance of what could be called a small village of sorts. On her left was a log wood sign that read ‘Timberline Trailer Park.’ A wall of hedge bushes that reached over her head lined the corners of this entrance, behind which were some apple trees.
Twilight walked cautiously into the trailer park. “Where am I?” she said out loud. Judging by the mountainous landscape, she had to be in a valley of some sorts. But like the generic looking cubic homes that were on either side of her as she walked, it told her little next to nothing about where she was, or even what she was doing there.
“Last thing I remember was being at school...” she muttered to herself. Looking up, she found herself in front of a white trailer home with a green trim. There was a small garden in front and a large fenced yard. A few steps that lead up to a simple wood deck, this eventually lead back into the yard. “Weird...” Just then, a short stocky long dog came bounding to the gate. Twilight jumped back a bit as the dog playfully jumped up in a greeting. “Uhm,” she began, “Hello?”
The dog did nothing but greet her with a happy and grateful licking at her hooves. Twilight blinked but then opened the gate. The animal knew her. She bowed her head and looked at the tags.
“Natasha. What a cute name,” she said, looking at the small cube like dog house that was on the deck. There were two small dog dishes for food and water. They had both been licked clean. “Oh dear. I bet somepony is hungry. And thirsty.” She took both dishes with her as she walked through the doorway to the house.
It was a homey looking place with a living room right before her and a kitchen to her right. It didn’t take long to find the large bag of dog food stored in the kitchen.
“There you go, Natasha,” she said, filling the dish. Natasha looked happy and started eating. She turned to the living room and saw a grey tabby cat looking at her pleadingly. “Um, hello?”
The cat only looked at her expectantly and then turned around. Twilight quickly followed the cat. “Wait! Can you tell me where I am? Or why I am walking into a stranger’s houses?” But the funny thing was, it didn’t seem like a stranger’s house. It seemed familiar, it seemed like she knew this home, but she couldn’t place where she knew it from. As she reached a long hallway, she found the cat rubbing up against her legs wanting attention. Twilight looked at this animal’s tags as well. “Sweetface.” The cat did indeed have a sweet face.
Twilight continued to follow the cat into the first bedroom in this hallway. Here, there was what appeared to be a bunk bed, constructed out of local timber and lacquered. Both beds looked like they had been slept in at one time or another. Below the bottom bunk were drawers that, like the backpack she had been carrying, were stuffed with papers. “Whoever lives here is somewhat of a messy pony,” Twilight commented.
Just then, she heard the door open and close. There was a small fear that gripped her as she walked back to the living room. Seated on the couch was an unexpected sight: Her parents.
“Mom, dad,” she walked towards them. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to have a talk with you, young lady,” her mother began. “We got a call from your school.” Her mother looked at her sternly, while her father remained quiet. “Anything you’d like to share with us?”
Twilight swallowed hard. “Well...I,” for the briefest span, she thought about lying to them about what happened in class. The two of them were giving her the, ‘well, we’re waiting,’ look. “I guess I had a momentary lapse in judgement. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I would say that you weren’t thinking,” her mother replied. Her father still said nothing but was looking at her disappointingly, his arms crossed. “Calling your teacher that, causing a disruption in class-”
Twilight frowned. “I did not cause a disruption in class!” she protested.
“If you don’t let me finish, so help me, you are going to your bedroom without dinner,” her mother said curtly. Twilight remained silent. “Good. This kind of attitude problem has to stop. One day you are going to have a rude awakening to the real world when you have to take actual responsibilities for your actions.”
Twilight felt her cheeks starting to burn. This conversation had been short but she wasn’t going to take it. “Me!? What about you two!?”
Her mother glared at her. “What about, ‘us two?’” she asked.
“Aren’t you two meant to be my role models? The ones I look up to for guidance in these matters?” she rubbed her temples, she had no idea where all this was coming from, but it felt like it was bottled up and needing release. “I try my hardest to do everything you ask of me! I study hard! I work hard! I do my chores!”
Twilight began to pace. This was so unlike her, she was never angry with her parent about things, was she?
“I’m quiet at school and rarely cause any trouble! If any!” she turned and looked angrily at them. “But it’s almost always ‘ok’ when you two make mistakes! It’s perfectly fine when you do it, but when Twilight makes a mistake! Hold the phone! Stop the Presses! Twilight is going to have a rude awakening one of these days!”
Twilight threw her hooves down in exasperation. She could feel the anger pulsing through her with every breath. Her mother and father’s expression had changed little during this sudden outburst.
“Go to your room,” Her mother replied curtly.
An angry twitch fought its way across Twilight’s face. There was no use in fighting her. Her mother was the adult here, and there was little to nothing that she could do. Except maybe...Twilight walked down the hallway to her room. She lay down on the floor and then slowly inched back out, stopping just before the corner of the living room. From this vantage she could listen and remain out of sight.
Her father finally spoke. “You know, she’s right.”
Twilight crept back to her room and lay down on her bed. “Why is this happening?” she asked, closing her eyes. Opening them, she found herself back in her library. The morning light was rousing her to get up.
“Today is going to be...interesting...” she thought to herself.