“And that is how we thwarted the Storm King's invasion,” I said softly, gazing out into the sea of faces. “Does anyone have any questions before I send you back to class? There’s no wrong or stupid questions here.”
“Back to class? We came here after school.” One of the fillies spoke up, drawing my attention to the small windows and how little natural light was coming in.
“Can we come back tomorrow and hear more stories? I wanna know what happens next.” The ruby-eyed colt asked.
I pursed my lips for a moment before nodding. “I have one condition, though. Your name, please.”
“OH, uhh, it’s D-david Hothoof. My mom wanted me named after her mother. It never made sense before, really.” He reached up and brushed a hand over the gemstone that replaced one of his eyes as he mentioned his mother.
Pausing, I regarded him softly. Reaching out, I touched his cheek. “I want to hear all about her, okay?”
“David, adopting is a group decision.” Tempest elbowed me teasingly as she slipped down onto the floor with a soft grunt. “All fillies and colts not directly descended from David need to get on their hooves and go home before we’re accused of a mass foalnapping plot.”
“Uh, okay, but for that you’re going to need to talk to my dad and…” he trailed off.
“He’s not replacing your mother with another mare, Young David, he’s just trying to give you a good female influence in your life.” Delphi chimed in without moving closer.
I pouted, shaking my head. “I wasn’t talking about adoption, I just want to get to know a grandchild.” Smiling at my namesake, I said “Your family can come as well, if they’d like.”
“David, I was joking. You know damn well we have plans in place for that.” Tempest facepalmed.
“I was talking about the mare his father is dating.” Delphi finally approached as the other children funnelled out of the room. “A good, stable upbringing is necessary for ponies, after all. His father is more concerned about what might happen if he gets injured and there’s no adult around to care for his son.”
Young David blinked, rising to his hooves. “Seeing the future is weird.” He shuffled for a moment, sneaking a glance at me. “I’ll um... ask my dad and his girlfriend if they want to come... Um... c-can I call you grandma?”
“You know what, yes. Yes you can.” I smiled and pulled him into a short hug before releasing him in case it made him uncomfortable. “I think if I’d been asked a couple decades ago it still would have made me uncomfortable, but I’m better now.”
The little guy smiled at me. “Awesome! I can’t want to see you tomorrow!” Bouncing on his hooves, he called after his friends. Departing with a wave, he left us in a much quieter house.
Making sure the door was closed, I watched the children through the window for a moment. “How many of them do you think passed their gems on?” I asked, closing the blinds. “At some point, everything’s going to be half-gem.”
“Or undead.”
“I doubt that, David, and you aren’t undead, Tempest.” Delphi brushed her bangs aside while rushing over to Tempest’s side and giving the mare a tender kiss. “We’ve been over this before; you were healed, and you’re alive even if everything feels a little strange.”
Clicking my tongue, I strode past Tempest. “You're just a bit pinker. It’s not like I use that little dimension your mane leads to.” Our kitchen was a bit of a hodgepodge, trying and somewhat succeeding in catering to three different heights. I didn’t eat often myself, but something about the food I made always cheered Tempest right up.
“I could use a shot of vodka,” I muttered, turning the oven on. The pebbles made their presence known, opening cabinets and bringing out ingredients. Cooking was a bit of a ritual with us, a perfect bonding experience given their inclination towards helpfulness. Three of them worked together to push a diamond-sized coffee mug over while another two rolled a barrel out of cold storage for me to pour out a couple mouthfuls of the stuff.
“Thank you~” Pouring up to the brim, I slammed the sweet, burning substance down my throat. It had long lost its intended effect, but that burn never left. “Spasibo,” I muttered, resuming my cooking. “Do you feel like eating, Delphi?”
“Well, I do foresee myself eating along with Tempest as a show of comfort and support. I can’t tell if you’re watching or eating as well though...odd.” Delphi mused quietly for a few seconds while stroking Tempest’s back. “Oh, extra cheese on my portion please.”
Delphi only asked for extra cheese on one thing, which meant I was going to be making some kind of pasta for dinner. I looked through the cabinets and refrigerator to see what was available, and decided on pelmeni. Sectioning off Delphi’s portion, I sprinkled some cheese on the meat before enclosing it in dough.
“Do you want any wine, Tempest? Or are you craving something harder?” Slipping the tray into the oven, I turned back to the pair. “We still got that 57’ vintage.”
“I’m craving something hard alright, David, but it doesn’t have anything to do with dinner.” Tempest winked and grinned, then started squirming a bit. “Actually, hang on a second…” She reached down and carefully adjusted her clothes, then scowled and looked down while peeling the waistband of her sweatpants out. “Discord, get out of my underwear!”
The serpentine chimera scoffed, slithering out of Tempest’s pants. “My dear Fizzlepop, I was on them not in. There is a difference you know. Besides I thought I was welcome to do so?”
Tempest blushed and stammered for a second. “Not without warning, and only with David...or Twilight. I thought that was clear. I also felt you moving, so how was I supposed to tell you were on the outside?”
Discord clicked his tongue. “I only showed up because I felt you getting all... hot and bothered.” His eyebrows wiggled, almost like caterpillars. “I thought you might be needing my services, or might have decided to take me up on that offer to make my services needed less often to...facilitate things.”
Delphi blushed at that, causing a sheen of ice to coat the entire floor around her as well as causing a dip in temperature, while Tempest took a step back and bit at her lower lip. “Look, that’s still a big change for someone like me who can’t just alter herself at will. It’s enticing, and I know Delphi likes the idea of there being more to me than you can tell, but it still freaks me out. How would I control it?”
“You’d figure it out.” Discord wrapped himself around my neck like a living scarf. “I imagine the same way Big Red here overcome those nasty little hissy fits he used to throw.” He pat my cheek with his paw. “It can’t be any worse than all that collateral destruction.”
Tempest blinked and shook her head at that comparison. “I’m sorry, what? What does adding a dick to me have to do with David’s old temper issues? I’m talking about practical issues here, like, would I have to replace my entire wardrobe, and just where everything would fit and, I mean, if it’s not going to just be there all the time how I’d control when it shows up…”
Grabbing his arm, I pulled him off my shoulders. “You need to respect personal space. Unless you’d rather we start inviting your cousin instead.” Dropping him, I grabbed up Tempest and carried her to the kitchen. “He’s just being obnoxious, Fizz. If we ignore him, he’ll start behaving.”
“Oh, control and such would be so easy, my dear unicorn. You see, if you have it out all you’d have to do is fizz until you pop, then give your berries a twist.” Discord smirked while grabbing a mortified Delphi and ferrying her into the kitchen as well. “Or, if you don’t want something quite so pun-based, I’m sure we could discuss that at some other time.”
Sighing, I set Tempest into her chair. “Discord, don’t be a jackass. Just give Tempest a straight answer or go bother someone else.”
“That was a straight answer. The easiest way for me to make a change like that to someone you’ve altered is for it to be based on a pun. If she has it and wants to get rid of it for fashion or whatever, she needs to get off then twist until it hurts, then it’ll vanish until she wants it again.” Discord tucked Delphi into her own chair, then looked right into Tempest’s eyes. “I can give you an instruction manual if you need more clarity.”
Tempest leaned back, snorting. “I want the manual before you do anything. And a promise you won’t bring it up again until I bring it up.”
“My dear, how can I bring it up again when I haven’t managed to get a rise out of you once yet?” Discord wiggled his eyebrows and smirked before darting back away from the table. “Then again I suppose I am a bit on the dull side. Maybe I should pink myself up a bit first?”
“Discord, I predict you will leave before David and I finish fusing if you know what’s good for you. That and you will leave the requested manual so Tempest doesn’t have to spend the next week figuring out if you did anything to her without her permission.”
“You know very well that David can’t do anything to me directly.”
“Just as well as you know that him fusing with me gets around that little loophole of yours.” Delphi spoke calmly, but her threat was clear enough. “Now, before I lose my temper, or I’ll tell Twilight you were being unreasonable too.”
Discord pouted, reaching over the table. A colorful book passed into Tempest’s hands, bearing his smiling likeness. “Alright, alright. You don’t have to get scary. I’ll leave you all to a nice evening.” Sticking his nose up, he vanished in a spray of confetti.
“He just had to make work for the pebbles,” I muttered, watching the little gems scurry about the room. “We need to put a shock collar on that frankenstein jackass.” Taking my own seat, I shifted the topic of conversation. “I’m considering writing a book.”
“Memoir, novel, or biography?” Tempest asked simply as she set the book from Discord off to the side for the moment.
“Is there a difference between a memoir and a biography?” I questioned.
“Yes. A memoir is explicitly about your own experiences while a biography can be about someone else. A biography about the author is a separate type of book.”
“That would be an autobiography, right Tempest?” Delphi fussed with her hair for a few seconds as she moved her bangs aside. Tempest merely gave her a smile and a nod in response.
“A memoir, I suppose.” My eyes focused on the table, watching the pebbles place down plates and pass out portions. “I know a lot of people would love to hear about our reclaiming of a lost Umberfoal for example. How many times have we had a class come in for a history lesson?”
“You really want to write about your biggest mistake? I mean, I know you’ve made up for it, but most people don’t know you’re the one responsible for freeing that monster, no matter how good your intentions were.”
“Tempest, she fooled me too. I don’t know how, but that thing utterly twisted my foresight.”
Sipping at a pebble-provided mug, I let the burning liquid linger on my tongue. “Because I want people to know. Everyone looking for a history lesson comes to us, we might as well write it down.”
“They come to you for gem stuff. They go to Twilight for most pony-related stuff. Sometimes they find me if I’m out shopping or off-duty.” Tempest lifted her own mug full of orange juice and took a sip.
“I think it’s a lovely idea, David.” Delphi lifted her small wine glass, swirling the amber liquid. “Yours is a unique perspective. And it would give those like Tanzanite a way to make their voices heard.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t a good idea,” Tempest said, holding off a pout. “Do you think you can put all those experiences to paper? It’ll be controversial for sure.” Tossing a piece of pelmeni into her mouth, she tapped her fingers on the table. “I think you should talk to a few people. Make sure you don’t burn any bridges.”
“Or spill any state secrets. Equestrian or gem-related. That would go poorly, even with how well you’ve cooperated with the princesses all this time.”
I put a hand up. “Alright. Alright. I’ll do some talking.” Reaching across the table, I cupped Tempest’s chin. “But first, eat your dinner. We can take care of your other appetite afterwards.”
“Ohhh, don’t make promises like that if you don’t intend to keep them, David.” Tempest charged her horn to the point where it sparked briefly. “Once we’re done with dinner, you have an hour to talk with the others, then I’m going to tackle you no matter who you’re speaking with.”
Raising my glass, I smirked. “It’s a date then.”
My second foray into sleep was met with exasperation. After impressing upon my gracious hosts how useless I’d be without it, they allowed me to nap in one of their larger rooms. I won’t lie, the part of me that had begun to overthink distrusted the process. I ignored it, wanting nothing more than the sweet kiss of sleep.
“-ke up!”
“-old you to let him sleep!”
My consciousness stirred, dragged from my defragmenting slumber. Suppressing a sigh, I cracked an eye open. Tempest barred the door, her dark fur contrasting with the brightly colored mare trying to enter my temporary abode.
“I will break your jaw if you don’t shut it!” Tempest hissed, shoving the mare back. “David needs to sleep, get that through your pinhead, featherbrain!”
The mare shoved back, her shrill voice almost making me think her voice was cracking. “That baby dictator can sleep on her own time. I’m sick of waiting! Get her flank up, now!” She made to push past Tempest, only to drop as Tempest gut punched her.
Tempest snorted, her equine nature coming through. “Next, I’m breaking your damn jaw. David will be ready when he’s ready. Not when a cocky little pissant says he is.”
“Who are you calling a peasant?” The blue mare groaned as she struggled to stand back up.
“I said ‘pissant’, not peasant, which-”
The intruding mare shot back up to her feet suddenly, then slammed her head forward into Tempest’s muzzle with a resounding crack. What happened next was so fast I wasn’t quite sure what happened, exactly, but it left Tempest clutching herself high on her abdomen while gasping for breath. “Aim for the sternum, it’s too easy to brace for a punch in the gut.”
“Enough!.” I sat up, getting a better view of the intrusive mare. Her skittles hair marked her as half of Rainlight. “Touch Tempest again and I’ll turn you into glue.” Sliding off the bed, I moved to Tempest’s side. Digging through her pouches, I retrieved a vial of tear-water.
“You’d have to catch me first, and I don’t like to brag but I’m pretty fast.”
“Rainbow Dash, half of what you do is brag.” A calmer voice spoke from the doorway. A shadow-shrouded figure stood there, but what was exposed to the light seemed to be a pale lavender.
I chose to ignore Rainbow Dash, focusing on the ailing unicorn in my grap. I sprinkled water on her nose, applying a few selective splashes to her abdomen. “Just look at me and take a breath, alright. Slow and easy.”
“How is her head so hard? That felt like getting kicked in the face.” Tempest groaned while her breathing steadied.
“That would be the result of years of stunt-flying and crashing.” That calm voice responded.
“Hey!”
“Rainbow, you know it’s true.” The other mare cleared her throat softly. “Sorry. David, right? I’d like to come in, please, with your permission.”
Transferring Tempest to the bed, I turned back to the door. “You can come in. Skittles stays outside, if she knows what’s good for her.”
“I’m fine with those terms. Rainbow, please leave the room of the Gem Ambassador. Now.”
“But Twilight, you-”
“Rainbow, you already made her angry by assaulting her guard and waking her up. I was asking as your friend; please don’t make me order you as a princess.”
“I...ugh, FINE.” Rainbow Dash growled as she walked out of the room, allowing the other mare to step inside.
She was dressed plainly, wearing what might pass for a teacher’s outfit if not for the fact that one leg was exposed almost from hip to knee to display a starburst-patterned mark. One of the white stars had a few prongs sticking out from her flesh and coat as well, most likely some kind of gem.
Standing by Tempest, I nodded my head. “I’m Lt. Colonel David Kolya, now otherwise known as Pink Diamond.” I snapped a salute. “To whom am I speaking?”
“Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, Snowflake Obsidian hybrid.” She smiled and held out her hand at an upward angle. “You already met my teacher, her sister, their fusion, and my sister-in-law.”
My hand eclipsed hers, shaking it gently. “A pleasure to meet you, Princess. I’m sorry I made you wait so long. Sleep’s a habit that stuck with me, I’m afraid. I should be good to go for a while.”
“That’s good to hear. I do want to apologise for sounding so confrontational earlier when I was fused, but Rainbow has always been obsessively loyal to Equestria and a bit of a hothead. That part of her tends to bleed through a lot when we’re fused since I’m the same way towards Celestia.”
Releasing her hand, I gazed towards the door. “I take it you’re here to escort me to the other princesses? Or, are you here to make sure I’m not a danger to anyone?”
“I’m actually here to try and stop Rainbow from waking you up before you were ready, but she’s just too fast for me to keep up. If you feel like you’re up to it, though, I’ll be happy to bring you to speak with Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Rose.”
“I’m coming with you if you go, David. Just need a few seconds.”
Bending down, I merely scooped Tempest into my arms. “It’ll just be easier to carry you, at least until you're ready to walk.” Nodding at Twilight, I stepped into the hall. “After you, Princess.” It would just be another debriefing, I told myself. Just with more magic and talking gemstones.
“I should warn you, Cadance is the only one that seems ready to give you a fair chance other than me.” Twilight spoke as she led the way through halls far taller than even I was. “I didn’t even know Celestia had armor, but I saw her and Luna helping each other into it before Rainbow started acting like she had ants biting her wings.”
“Hey! I’m right here.”
“I’m flattered they think I’m dangerous enough to require armor.” A few hallways passed before I set Tempest onto her hooves. “I’d do the same, honestly.”
“To be fair, Diamonds are said to have required the efforts of a number of fusions all attacking at once to push back in the past. I mean, it’s ancient history, but they’re treating this like you’re a potential imminent threat to their rule and the freedom of ponykind.”
I bit my tongue, noting the growing number of guards, pony and gem alike, that began to fall in behind us. I respected that. They took a potential threat seriously. That meant, while talks were tense, I wouldn’t be disregarded.
“Do I need to know anything?” I asked, looking at Twilight. “Any subjects off limits? People to appeal to?”
“I’d just say be respectful and if things seem to be turning sour maybe lean on Cadance for support? She seems to have a high opinion of you for how you were handling everything, and how you managed to completely shut down Chrysalis. The fact that you kept her and two friends of mine safe has me on your side as well, even if Rainbow’s suspicious of your motives. Pinkie’s just happy to have someone new around and Applejack doesn’t care as long as you don’t hurt her or her family’s orchards.”
As our journey wound down, we were greeted by a rather stuffy looking stallion with a trumpet. “Greetings, your majesties.” Taking his hat off, he gave a sweeping bow. “The other princesses are awaiting your arrival. Shall I announce you?”
“Yes, you may.” Twilight nodded her head. “Please introduce our guest as Lt. Colonel David Kolya.”
Replacing his hat, the stallion motioned for the standing guards to open the throne room. With practiced measure, his blaring trumpet resounded into the cavernous room. “Now announcing her royal highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle! And Lt.Colonel David Kolya!”
The throne room was vast and well-lit with sunlight pouring in through stained-glass windows. The windows closest to the royal dais, however, were clear to allow light to shine unfiltered upon whoever was seated there. Two thrones topped this raised portion of the floor; one golden and cushioned with red pillows while the other was silver and cushioned with blue. Seated on the gold throne was a white figure wearing golden, sun-themed armor, and on the silver throne was a blue-coated person wearing silver armor decorated with depictions of constellations.
Seated in two chairs lower down were another two figures. One was Cadance, wearing what looked like an elegant gown. The other chair held a figure that would have made my blood run cold if I still had any, recognizable despite the fact that she was wearing a black-skirted suit instead of the white dress from the show, Rose Quartz. Pearl was even standing there next to her, looking slightly tense and holding onto the upper shaft of her spear while wearing what looked like a blue leather jacket, a yellow t-shirt, and plain jeans.
Following in Twilight’s footsteps, my eyes lingered on Rose. Specifically her gem. It nagged at me, its facets almost mocking. Pragmatism moved my eyes back to the wider group, observing all the details that stood out.
“Hail, Twilight Sparkle,” the blue mare said, rising from her throne. “It is good to see the battle hasn’t lingered on you.” Her demeanor shifted, regarding me with a critical eye. “And you, David was it not? Canterlot owes much to your sudden arrival.”
“You’re welcome,” I responded. “Tempest had knowledge of the invasion and we had the opportunity to act.” Glancing back at Rose, I continued. “However, before we begin any talks, I want assurances that I am in fact the only diamond in the room.”
Looks of confusion circled the room, followed by a glare from the greaser-looking Pearl. “Everyone knows that gems cannot alter their colors when shapeshifting. If any of us were diamonds, we would have only one color. White, yellow, blue, or you. Luna comes the closest to that, no offense princess, but her gem is clearly a moonstone.”
“Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond.” My voice was curt, staring at Rose’s gem.
“What?”
“You LIE!”
“You dare make such an accusation?”
“No I’m not.”
“Wait, I thought...what?”
Recalling an image to my mind, I pictured my gem turning up and in, rotating the bottom facet to face outwards. My form shifted quickly, becoming an amorphous blob of pinkish-white light. Turning my gem was new, though eclicted no strange sensations. “As I said, Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond. Our voices are the same, we have the same healing tears, the exact same facets.” As I finished rotating the upper point inward, my body coalesced and condensed down into the shape of a standard quartz gem soldier, with the associated uniform.
“YOU GET OUT OF THAT BODY RIGHT NOW!” Pearl screamed as her face contorted into something between rage and fear, and she lifted her spear to brandish it. The only thing that stopped her was the immediate motion of two royal guards to stand in front of me. “That...that is not your body. Two lies already, and you want us to trust you?”
“Hey, ease up on the volume there.” Tempest shook her head and rubbed under her ear as she moved to stand in front of the royal guard to address Pearl. “And if you threaten David again I’m going to have to zap you. I learned that my magic can destabilize gem bodies if I put enough power into it, so that’ll be fun for you.”
“Enough threats. Enough with the anger. Pearl, old friend, please calm down.” The white figure in gold armor sighed loudly and lifted her helmet off to place it in her lap, releasing a billowing cloud of multicolored hair that flowed in a nonexistent breeze. “Rotating your gem to a different face and gaining a different form is a new trick to the rest of us. Please explain yourself, Pink Diamond.”
My form reverted, irritation plain on my features. “If you didn’t hear, my name is David.”
“Right, David. Sorry, old habits die a hard death. Millenia later and I still think of Diamond as a title rather than a name.” She shook her head and looked at me with eyes far older than she appeared to be. “Names it is, then. I am Celestia, my sister here is Luna. You have already met us, however briefly and without a proper introduction.” She swept one hand out to indicate the blue mare, who waved. “You walked in with my former student, Twilight Sparkle, and the other pony-gem hybrid here is my adopted niece, Cadance. You seem to be quite familiar with the only other pink gem known to exist until yesterday, Rose Quartz.”
“We also met you while fused, as Solar Eclipse.” Luna chimed in. “Thank you for protecting Cadance as we requested.”
“Only as familiar as a person can be with a fictional character.”
“Wait...David...fict… What did you buy from a mysterious gift stall?” Rose stood up from her chair and put her hand on Pearl’s shoulder. “And why are you only showing up now?”
I traced a finger along a facet, never looking away. “A case of diamonds. Mine burned a goddamn hole in my stomach. The white one must’ve cracked my sister’s skull with how fast it was going.” As to her last question, I just shrugged. “I popped out of a wall a few days ago.”
“A case of diamonds.”
“White...your sister...oh no.”
“Yeah, I figured that out rather quickly.” I withheld Navi’s little communique. They didn’t need to know that just yet. There were a lot of things they didn’t need to know yet. “As far as I know, they got kicked off the planet and left a small force to wait for me.”
“Yes, well, your sapphire companion has told us as much as she felt you would be comfortable with us knowing. She says you named her ‘Delphi.’”
“It’s a fitting name,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I wasn’t going to call her ‘sapphire # 34201’”
“The old legends of the Greek oracles, yes.” Rose smiled and sat back down. “Charlie used to be a mythology buff.” Pearl stiffened a bit, and blushed visibly.
“The diamonds of old were somewhat impersonal about the vast majority of gems, though there are a few yellow ones who were given unique names. Most of those have passed themselves on to their sons or daughters at this point, however.”
Cadance raised her hand, almost sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I think we’ve gotten a little off topic here. It might not be my place, however, I think we should save the informal talk for when we’re not having a diplomatic meeting... That and I’m more than a little lost...”
“Oh, that’s my fault. I’m sorry, I was just surprised to learn that Pi...David here is like Charlie and myself.” Rose spoke up while pulling Pearl, who I assumed to be Charlie, against her side. “The bit about Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond being the same is still news to us, though, and I can’t do that rotation thing. I’ve been poofed a couple times, and my gem’s just like Amethyst’s. A faceted hockey puck.”
“Rose, please, I’m supposed to be keeping you safe, not hugged against you.”
Clearing her throat, Celestia couldn’t hide that ghostly little smile. “Cadance is right. We have official matters to deal with. I would ask that we reign in any idle chatter.”
“I told you the conversation would veer away from business for a time.” I heard Delphi’s voice before she walked into sight from behind the golden throne. Gracing the collected royalty with a curtsy, she hurried down the stairs and took a spot by my side.
Celestia waited a moment, daring anyone else to speak. “If we can move on, I would like to extend a formal welcome to Equestria. An honor your... sisters did not earn.”
Our talks were awkward. Leadership is a handy trait. Suddenly moving from solely military leadership to leading what was for all intents and purposes was a micronation is something else entirely. My frustration grew, finding myself talking to them like they were my CO.
I didn’t hide my relief when Celestia called for lunch, leaving me to breathe. I used the time to check in on my gems. The had been given a disused guard barracks, somewhere out of the way and easily kept track of. Emeralds gave reports and ambers passed out healing water.
Out of all the gems, the rubies sought my praise the most. Their eager faces beamed, more than a few smiles leaking through. I gave it to them of course, more than I would for any other soldier under me.
I knelt down in front of one, a ruby with a gem for an eye. “You were a part of the fusion, weren’t you?”
“It was a situation that demanded more power than any one ruby could deliver. It was my honor to be part of it.” She saluted me after another few seconds.
Placing a hand on her head, I studied her face. As much as what was left of my ape brain wanted, it found no physical resemblance to myself. Regardless, it did nothing to smother the strange connection I felt for them.
“Perhaps a little more caution would help? If you rush in, you might alter the plan in a way we can’t work with.”
“But...that’s what we’re supposed to do. Rush in, get in the way, keep the enemy from getting any solid hits on high-value targets. Be a living wall.”
“What you can do is be smart. Use that brain of yours and stay on your toes. That’s what I’d like for you to do.” Smiling, I gave her a gentle jab on the shoulder. “Still, you all did great. I’m proud of you.”
“Aw shucks, I’d need to be trained how to think tactically.” The ruby kicked at the ground a couple times. “I mean, the only thought I really had was to smash and maybe stop if I poofed her. You think maybe I could train with an emerald?”
I nod, finding her increasingly adorable. “I’ll have one be a mentor to your squad. Think you can keep them in line for me? We might be here for a while.”
“I’ll do my best, mom.” The ruby froze and quickly saluted. “I mean, David. David.” She repeated a couple more times, standing as stiff as a board.
“Mom huh?” I asked, poking her nose. “And where’d you hear that kind of thing?”
“Er, uh, one of the pony soldiers said that us being created by you made you like our mother?” She responded immediately while taking a single step back. “I asked him about it a little and he called my curiosity cute.”
Patting her head, I chuckled. “Ah well, I’m your parent either way. Why don’t you run off back to your siblings? I’ll stop by when I’ve talked to one of the emeralds.”
“Okay. I’ll go tell them the good news about the special training!” She ran off without any hesitation and was quickly lost from sight in a group of half a dozen exact copies except for gem placement.
I watched the group chatter amongst themselves, memorizing what made them stand out. Me? A parent? A mom for that matter? Having children had never crossed my mind before. Perhaps I had one back on Earth; given a few drunken nights of leave. The hell was I supposed to do? Being a leader was one thing. Being a parent was another.
“Excuse me, Pink Diamond?” A gruff voice called from behind me. “Princess Luna wishes to know if you would like a glass of juice or water during the continued talks.” He cleared his throat softly before continuing. “Normally a seat at the royal table for the meal would be offered, but we are well aware that gems need little more than sunlight and the occasional washing to stay healthy.”
“Juice is fine.” It hadn’t really occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten or drank anything since my arrival. I breathed, still do actually. Some small, leftover part of my human brain. An automatic function I can’t quite turn off. “How long until we resume?”
“You have another twenty minutes before I should guide you back to the throne room.” The guard responded while writing down my response and sending the paper off with a small spark of green light that turned into a flame that consumed it in a second. “And that’s the kitchen being told to ready a small barrel of good juice.”
Well, that left me with twenty minutes to kill. “Why don’t we take the scenic route then? I’m done here for now.” Stepping by him, I stood at the doorway. “You got a name?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.
He halted and pointed out away from the barracks and the castle, towards what looked like some kind of garden. “My name’s Flash, but if you want the scenic route you’re going to want to go through the gardens.”
Turning around, I shrugged my shoulders. “Gardens it is.” Motioning him forward, I adjusted my stride to match him. “Been a guard long, Flash?”
“Long enough to know when I’m dealing with someone way beyond my general pay grade, but an assignment is an assignment.” He quipped while leading the way through the tall hedges and into the interior of the gardens. “Just so you’re aware, the commemorative gardens are also known as the correctional gardens here in Canterlot.”
“What, you lock up plants? Got a meat eating plant that calls you ‘Seymour’?”
“Heh, no.” His tone flattened almost immediately as he pointed to a statue of a pony in a cloak holding up a lengthy scroll. A bed of roses and tulips surrounded the pillar it was standing on. “That statue is a madmare who developed a spell that could shatter every gem within about thirty feet of her. She killed ten hybrids and an unknown number of gems were shattered by the spell before she was petrified for her crimes.” He pointed to another statue nearby, this one of a burly stallion holding up an acoustic guitar with his wings spread behind him. “This statue is a pegasus who once found a way to turn music into a weapon. He managed to brainwash dozens of ponies into throwing themselves at the defenses of an underground city that houses some of the worst gem criminals and captured diamond loyalists.”
Ah, it seemed they didn’t have the death penalty here. I wasn’t surprised, they were pastel colored equines. Of course, being aware as a statue for centuries is an arguably worse punishment. My gaze focused on a third statue. What I thought at the time was some frankenstein monster. “And what about that one?”
“Ah, yes, the star prisoner of ponykind, or it used to be. That is a replica of Discord. A creature of chaos energy that, despite not being a gem, can fuse with gems against their will and who is a living mirror against diamond powers and some gem powers below diamond tier as well."
Standing in front of the statue, I savored the quiet moment. No gems at my beck and call, no impending invasion, and no personal slave. Just the thought disgusted me. Not that it was Watson’s fault.
“He does strike quite the figure, doesn’t he?” Flash asked from my right side. “I was still in training when he broke out. Heard he turned Ponyville into his personal toy box.”
“Oh please, you exaggerate. Ponyville was merely a playroom. My personal toybox is far less overly joyful and more intimidating to mortals.” The voice of Q came from my left side as a furred paw brushed against my arm, then quickly moved up to my shoulder. “Well well, aren’t you the interesting model. Is that an organic healing ability I smell on you, darling?”
Grabbing the paw, I jerked it back. My reaction time caught me by surprise. A blink brought me from standing to kneeling; my knee pressing down between someone’s shoulder blades. “I don’t recall giving you permission to touch me.”
“Ohhh, feisty like your yellow sister! I like it.” The serpentine body under my leg squirmed for a few seconds, and I heard something snap. The next thing I knew, I was frozen in place and the demented-looking amalgamation was standing up in front of me. “And you smell like strawberries.”
“Discord, please, this isn’t a good time to piss off another diamond at first sight. The princesses actually have a chance at a peaceful relationship with this one.” Flash had a small whistle in one hand and was slowly twirling it around. “And weren’t you being kept occupied by one of Princess Twilight’s friends?”
Discord pouted, curling his tail behind him. “I just wanted to say hello. Shy told me it was someone important and then I felt someone talking about me.” Looking down at me, he stroked a poor excuse for facial hair. “I didn’t realize she was so hostile.”
“You’d be hostile too if you’d just finished defending Canterlot from an invasion only a few hours ago and some random person was acting all creepy about touching you suddenly.” Poofing his chest out, Flash squared up to the creature. “Now please release her. You’re going to make us late.”
“Oh, fine.” He lifted both hands and snapped the left one first, producing what looked like a business card. Slipping it into the back pocket of my pants, he took two long steps back and snapped the other hand. “I’ll be in touch. I can think of so many things that being exposed to your light would allow me to do!”
Rising up, I cracked my neck. “I’d sooner have you shot,” I retorted, taking a deep breath. No one wanted to see the effects of an outburst on someone who was still made of meat. Myself least of all. “Get lost.”
“Oh no, I’m being threatened by something that can’t touch me with their superpowers!” Discord overdramatically raised a taloned hand to his head while grinning and nearly leering at me. “I guess I’ll leave you alone for a couple days. See you later, pinkie.”
Clenching my fist, I drove it into his statues face. My body shook, anger bubbling under the surface. Breathing heavily, I let it bleed away. “I think I need a shower.”
“And I think I’ll tell the Princesses they need a replacement statue.” Flash commented as the marble began to crack and a few flakes fell away from the surface. “No need to worry. It’s not like you did that to one of those still imprisoned. Then again, the prisoners might consider that a mercy.” He thought for a moment, then nodded to himself. “I’ll lead you to a dignitary suite with a bathroom for you, and I’ll explain the reason for any delay it causes to the princesses.”
I shock my head, blowing the dust off my knuckles. “No, that would just lead to rocks coming to life or some over nonsense.” The less essence I gave off, the better. “Let’s just head to the dining hall. That is where we’re going, right?”
“I was actually going to bring you to the throne room again, but if you wanted to pick up some kind of snack we could head there. Perhaps you might enjoy one of the delicacies that Lady Rose and Pearl prefer?”
“And what do the pair of them eat?” I asked, falling in line behind him again. “I’m going to guess cheesecake.”
“Well, since the return of the Crystal Empire they’ve been known to favor a fruit salad made with crystal berries as a simple dessert, but I suppose you could turn that into a cheesecake topping if you wanted to.”
A moment of debate passed before I declined the offer. I wasn’t going to eat or drink until I could cut out the worst parts of doing either. It was something to talk to Rose and Pearl about, when we weren’t negotiating peace. Delphi met us at the door, at which point trumpet-guy announced my arrival.
“Yes, yes, We are well aware of who is here today, what with the guards keeping out all of the so-called nobles.” Luna responded with a bit of obvious disdain in her voice. “Please take a seat. We were able to procure a minotaur ambassador chair and lengthen the legs a bit to suit your stature, David.”
“Thanks,” I said, taking the indicated seat. “So, what’s next on the agenda? Hopefully, it won’t be anything that makes the room erupt in outrage again.”
“I want to ask you a few simple questions, if I may?” Cadance looked up towards the two older mares, each of which nodded in turn. “First, what do you intend to do with the gems that follow your orders? Will they be offered the opportunity to join society at large and associate with free gems, ponies, and hybrids?”
Leaning my head back, I gazed up at the vaulted arches that held up the roof. “I have a family-bred disdain for dictatorships. They can leave if they want, but the fact of the matter is, they probably wouldn’t understand the concept. What I plan on doing is incorporating a micronation.”
Cadance nodded and looked over to Twilight, then up at the royal sisters. “I think we can all agree that as long as a sincere offer is made, the obligations for freedom of choice have been met. With that in mind, and with what you just said, I think we could work on drafting up some kind of charter or other document going over the laws you wish to create for your land. My next question is a bit more complicated.”
“And what would that be, Princess?” I asked, lowering my head to meet her gaze.
“There is an old town that became a sort of penal colony for some of the worst war criminals, but the hybrids in charge there are still loyal to the diamonds. We would politely ask if you would be willing to at least visit them and evaluate the gems that are being held there to see if any of them were unjustly convicted.”
“It is known that the diamonds tried to shatter as few gems as possible, and we don’t know what the prisoners were ‘guilty’ of aside from potentially daring to defy their will.” Rose cut in with an odd expression on her face. “We honestly don’t know who is imprisoned there though, so there could be some that are actual monsters.”
Delphi’s response cut off my own question. “Umberfoal. That’s what blue diamond called it. Yellow diamond ordered it sealed during the last days of the war, but I don’t know any details about that. The Lonely Pearl might know, however.”
“Umberfoal is correct, yes. Once a town of pony slaves that the diamonds sent certain gems to that had expressed a desire to know more about the ‘primitive’ organics.” Celestia clenched her teeth and took a long breath while tapping her fingers against the armrest of her throne. “Forgive me, but there are some old family wounds tied to that town. It would be good to be able to visit once again.”
Luna reached over and gently brushed Celestia’s forearm. “You want to visit father’s grave?”
“I would prefer to exhume him and bring him here, to a place more deserving of his remains.”
“Aunties, please. I know there are ancient issues with this, but we need to focus.” Cadance smiled sweetly and then looked back at me. “My last question is quite simple. Will you allow ponies and hybrids to visit your enclave in order to assess the damage that your kindergarten has done to the surrounding land, and to do what they may in order to restore what is able to be restored?”
I let out a long breath, considering my options. I had planned on keeping the incubating gems close to my chest. One of those things I didn’t think they needed to know. On the other hand, it would just end up causing issues later.
“I’ll allow it. After the current batches have emerged.”
“The masculine pearl is going to shove her foot in her mouth unless she bites her tongue,” Delphi proclaimed while keeping her voice as serene as possible. A quick look over at ‘Charlie’ showed me an expression like she’d just had a chunk of raw durian shoved in her mouth.
“Alright, fine. I suppose there’s a reason you already have gems in the ground.” Celestia narrowed her eyes after a few more seconds. “Wait, I know how Charlie tends to react, and Delphi...you didn’t even do it yourself, did you? I’ll bet there were standing orders for all kinds of things to be done when you emerged.”
I felt compelled to stand up and pace. Hands firmly planted in my jacket pockets, I strode back and forth. “That little fucking pixie extracted my essence without my permission. Had the peridots start a few batches.”
Delphi put herself in my path, gazing up at me. “David, if you keep going down that train of thought, you’ll bring the room down.”
Bending down, I scooped Delphi up and returned to my seat. “Sorry. Since I’ve arrived, I’ve discovered that I’ve acquired a rather explosive anger problem.”
“Small personality changes, yes. Shortly after we arrived we discovered that Charlie had developed what could charitably be called a mild case of OCD-”
“I was organizing rocks by size, shape, and color without even noticing I was doing it. Rose just got slightly more bubbly and prone to laughing outright instead of hiding it. Lucky.”
“I don’t think I’m getting across the problem. Explosive as in, I nearly shattered Watson, broke Tempest’s arm and put a crater in a table from a scream of fury.”
“So you’re a walking bomb then? No wonder the show never actually depicted you doing anything. Shattering just because of an anger outburst?”
“Tempest is the mare that was with you earlier, correct? The castle medics wanted to examine her horn, or she would be here right now.”
Settling Delphi on my lap, I shot a glare at Charlie. “I’m restrained enough to not kill people by accident. As for your little quip, Pink Diamond faked her shattering to become Rose Quartz. If I knew she needed anger management, I wouldn’t have been caught off guard.”
“If you wouldn’t mind, I could ask my brother about making something that can contain a shield spell that would activate upon one of these outbursts happening.” Twilight smiled while idly sketching something on a sheet of paper. “You could think of it like training wheels if it helps?”
“More like training pants.”
“Charlie...you need to leave. You’re deliberately provoking her...him.” Rose cringed for a few seconds before looking at me. “Sorry. The whole ‘all gems are female’ thing, I’m so used to Charlie being the only male gem.”
Charlie scoffed. “I’m not leaving you in here with a diamond, Rose. Especially not one that might as well be a hand grenade.”
“Charlie,” Rose’s tone was actually full of anger at the moment. “Just because you miss having a dick doesn’t mean you need to be one and jeopardize the first chance we’ve had for any kind of peaceful contact with a diamond. Please leave the room so we can talk like adults, or I’ll ask Celestia to have the guards remove you.”
“Consider that so ordered, guards. If Charlie will not leave, he is to be removed. Preferably without confining him to his gem for a time.” Celestia spoke up immediately. “Enough time has been wasted with his incessant barbs, and I will not have him single handedly destroy an uncertain peace.”
I had seen the look that crossed Charlie’s face many times before. Always a cock-sure officer getting told their shit stinks. Our eyes locked as he quietly left the room; both of us making sure the other understood our current standing.
It took a few more hours and a lot of back and forth questions about laws and such before we were able to come to an agreement about how my new gem micronation was going to be structured. Twilight had been working on the first draft of the document, which was quickly passed around to the other three princesses before it was given to me for review.
Reading it over, I suddenly realized just how much of a headache this was going to be. Writing reports and giving orders was one thing. This, this was worse. I’d take writing a report in the dead of night, in the hot as balls desert over this kind of paperwork any day of the week.
“So, I suppose we just need a name then?” I asked, peering up from the laughably small papers.
“That’s not entirely necessary just yet if you want to speak with some others about it. We can easily fill in that detail at a later date.” Twilight stretched her wings and legs out as she spoke, and groaned as a couple joints popped. “Also I’d like to be able to stand up and stretch a little bit after sitting still for so long.”
“Right... I forgot about that...” I muttered, watching her for a moment. “I don’t see anything objectionable, but I will say this. I won’t enforce laws I don’t agree with.”
“Well, I will admit I haven’t gone over all of the oldest law books in a number of years to see what outdated trash is still in there, but I think we can all agree that objections to laws on a personal level should be communicated and evaluated here. We should see about assigning a scribe to work with you for ease of communication.” Celestia mused before turning to look at Luna. “I think we can call it a day, sister. Time to put the sun to bed and give the moon her nightly alarm.”
Rising to her hooves, Luna cracked her neck. “Aye, our duties call for us. If you wish David, you may observe our daily ritual.” Moving behind the thrones, she pushed open a pair of well hidden doors. “This way, please.”
“You’ll find it wondrous, David,” Delphi said, slipping off my lap. Wrapping a hand around one of my fingers, she coaxed me to my feet. “This way.”
“Right. What exactly are your rituals?” I questioned, moving around the thrones.
“Oh, you haven’t been informed by the unicorn that was with you? Celestia and Luna took over a duty that used to take the effort of anywhere between dozens and hundreds of unicorns.” Twilight practically bounced on her hooves for a few seconds, showing more excitement over this bit of trivia than she had over anything else so far today. “With their magical strength, and their connection to their gems, they keep the sun and moon moving in their proper orbits instead of leaving things to chance and chaos.”
“Do they get eaten by wolves at the end of the world?” I cracked, stepping onto a wide balcony. “Rather enjoyed that myth.”
“We have no idea if that would or wouldn’t happen, as the world hasn’t ended yet.” Luna quipped in response before closing her eyes and taking up what looked like some kind of standing meditative pose. Her horn began to glow a soft purple light, and a few strands of energy trailed down to her left hip where they circled around a crescent moon made of some white stone.
My eyes moved from her horn to her sister. Celestia took the same pose, her horn swirling in magic. Shifting my gaze to the sky, words died in my throat. The sun lowered from the sky, passing the moon as it dipped past the horizon.
“Oh, wow, I am so not in Kansas anymore…”