//------------------------------// // Scene #6: The Pancakes // Story: Friendship is Optimal: Scenes of Possibility // by tin77 //------------------------------// Derek had been gone for five months. It was a lot lonelier in the apartment, but I carried on nonetheless. We would talk occasionally, but I had become nothing more than a reminder of a past life, a nostalgic memory that couldn’t compare. As long as he was happy. At this point the concept of denial was getting too obvious to do its job. Everything was calling this a mistake and yet I woke up every morning and I went through the motions, fully aware that I could opt out at any time. I’d blame it all on stubbornness but there was never enough time to think about it. Among these distractions was the empty ritual called dinner time. I had decided to eat out at our old spot, a possible byproduct of missing voices and a fridge still stocked with beer bottles. They called it the Millennium Diner, a place where the later you ordered pancakes, the better they were. It was there that I saw Laura waiting tables. At first I thought she’d pass on by in the background, forever stranding me in an awkward position of remembrance, but then I saw her moving my way, her mood far from what I could expect from a waiter at a diner past 11. “You come here often?” she asked with a smirk. I had thought of the line myself, but it felt too stupid to say to someone I hadn’t seen in years. Funny how that works. “…Didn’t know you had a job here.” “Grabbed it about two months ago. It only took a few years, but I’m finally where I want to be. God bless you, AP Bio.” She slid right into the booth, eyebrows raised. “So what’s the story? Why and how are the two of us here right now, of all places?” “…Is your boss going to get mad or something?” “If they do, to hell with ‘em. I’d have to hate myself to skip out on a conversation like this and I’m not quite there yet. Besides, my shift is ending anyway and nobody is here.” With that, we played our game of catchup. I had forgotten how easy it was to talk with Laura. She had gone into acting, but not much was going on in that world. Meanwhile, she passed the time with tables and fries. It was only natural that Derek got brought up at some point. I was seen too often with him in high school for our friendship to be forgotten. “Oh, Derek— He… Uh…” “…Don’t tell me.” “…Yep.” “Wow! Not to be mean or anything… but wow. If I had to guess people from our class… I don’t know, probably would have said Franklin before him. Maybe the stage crew kids. They were into stuff like that.” “It’s not like Derek was even a fan. Things… weren’t going well. I think he saw it and said ‘hey, this will remove all my problems’ and then hopped right on board.” “Most people treat it that way. It’s always a friend of a friend though.” “Have to say, seems like it’s really working. Derek… He actually looks like he’s got something going on. He’s in a band.” “…As a pony?” “He doesn’t even care about that! Barely recognize him. I get it though. Can’t help but wonder why I’m not transferring over immediately.” I found it hard to believe that I said that out loud. My eyes darted to my plate, a mess of syrup and crumbs in the place of my pancakes. “Uh-oh Francis, you trying to tell me something?” “It’s just—” I stuttered, trying my best not to turn red. “I’m doing fine… But it certainly isn’t that.” “Hey, working on a set is pretty awesome—” “When you’re the coffee boy? Not like we’re making masterpieces either. It’s this weird short film where it’s like, a metaphor for purgatory and one of them is Jesus? It’s terrible.” “Kinda sounds like the best movie I have ever seen in my life, but alright.” That brought me a smile, but talking about Derek was a challenge, and the concept of denial was now a centerpiece to the conversation. “Can’t blame people for choosing ponies… Like I said, I get it. Derek needed this.” “Don’t worry, other assholes will make up for you. I’ve seen a few people get real angry about it, my dad included. But I'm not going to act like it's completely unreasonable." “Has a pretty significant population now.” “I just don’t trust it, the scanning, the corporations, all that. It’s like I’m another person for them to fix. Don’t need them dishing out what they think I need.” I wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that. "I’m sure Derek is having a great time,” she said, continuing, “but I don’t think they can make me happy so easily. That’s not what life is at all. This? All this? I need that.” Some of us more than others. “But Derek said that it isn’t just happiness… He said that they make sure that there’s challenge, progression, that sort of stuff.” “Maybe I’m just better off unsatisfied. There’s a lot of good here in the in-between. I’ll get myself a few roles, have some fun, and hey, that’s all I need. No ponies involved. Besides, a part of you dies when you’re scanned anyway.” In a series of alarming sentences, the last one managed to overshadow the rest. But could I even judge? I was still here in the end. Maybe I thought I was better off unsatisfied too. “Huh?” It was all I could respond with. “The scans— That’s not really you. Just a recreation pretending. They can’t bring your consciousness into the game, it doesn’t work like that. Frankly, I don’t think anybody realizes this. Even those corporations.” “But… Doesn’t that imply…” “That it isn’t actually Derek. Or anybody.” It took five seconds before she realized what she was doing. “…Except I don’t know anything, admittedly. Maybe there’s a tube or something and they keep the body. Sorry. I’m sure Derek is still Derek. I’m glad we can even talk to them in the first place. Catch a glimpse at their world.” “…Yeah.” “I, uh… Sorry” Things were fading out. Conversation continued, but it was sparser. Emptier. At some point the restaurant closed, we gave our goodbyes, and I went to bed with more thoughts than the day had begun with. Transferring was never a consideration after that.