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are property of Hasbro
Anthony is not.
Chapter ONE
Compassion. That word has caused me more trouble than I can count. Okay, well maybe not "compassion" exactly, but that whole kind of mindset. Whether it was getting into a fight at school when a smaller kid couldn't defend them-self, or taking the blame for a co-worker who didn't deserve it. Not that I can help it, it's just how I was raised. You know, the "Golden Rule", "Do unto others", that whole schtick. That may explain the situation i find myself in now. I'm currently falling upwards through some weird vortex thing towards what I hope is a bright blue sky. Since it looks like it's a good ways off, I'll fill you in on how I got here.
It all started Saturday, really early in the morning on my way home from work, listening to one of my all time favorite songs. My usual route took me by an old. dilapidated chemical plant. I would occasionally see a car or two out in front so I guess it isn't abandoned yet. I was just passing the old building when there was a huge explosion and an even bigger fireball rose into the cloudy night sky. I slammed on the brakes, skidded to a stop and just stared. The blaze lit up the area like it was the middle of the day. My fears that someone was inside were realized when a figure came stumbling up to my truck in a flaming mess. It was an elderly man, a scientist judging by his coat. I screamed as he hit my hood and slumped to the ground. I jumped out to do what I could for him, to at least extinguish him. I finally got him put out and got a good look at him. Most of the skin on his face was burned and charred, and the only notable feature was a long broken tooth jutting out of the corner of his mouth. He looked to be about sixty or better. What hair was left on his head was nearly frizzled down to his scalp. I would have called 911 but, I had left my phone at home. I made him as comfortable as I could. I was going to get my meager first-aid kit from my pick-up when he sat up, wheezing and coughing, and grabbed my shirt. He pulled me back and pressed something into my palm. Noting that it wasn't much bigger than a flash drive I stuck it in my pocket.
*HACK* "Take this...*wheeze* No one must know of it...." *gasp* He released my shirt,and gasped one last time before he.... expired. I took his white lab coat and covered him with it. After I did, something shiny caught my eye near the front of my truck. I said a silent prayer for the poor old guy and went to see what it was. I bent down and picked up the strange thing.
"Heh. Guy must have been a Whovian." I mumbled to myself. The "thing" was what appeared to be a replica sonic screwdriver. Not really thinking, I stuck it in my pocket too. I turned and looked at the covered form on the ground and just stood there, lost in thought as to just who this guy was. I stood there until I heard sirens getting closer. Coming to my senses, I hopped back in my truck and sped off, my mind in a daze. That was my first close up view of death. I felt sick.
After a few moments, the "dead" man rose up to his feet and shimmered brightly, chuckling to himself. The light faded and a mismatched monster stood in his place. Shining yellow, malice filled eyes watched the small red truck drive away.
"All too easy." he said to himself.
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I finally made it back to my humble home and (more importantly) my bed. I just lay there for a long time, staring at my posters on the walls of my bedroom. I saw the dead man's face every time I blinked. I was feeling too nauseated and tired to even think of turning on the T.V. A dry, scratchiness in my throat convinced me to get my sorry carcass to the kitchen for some water. I staggered in, leaning against the wall for support, and found a clean glass. After filling it and slaking my thirst, my pants stared buzzing. More specifically, my left pocket. I reached in and removed the "device" the old man had given me. I brought it to my old, steel desk and turned on my old lighted magnifier. The thing resembled a flash drive in size and appearance. The only difference were three buttons on the side. "Home", "Open", and "Close". Maybe "open" made the usb...uh, thing pop out. I pressed it and nothing. At first that is. A low rumble shook my house as my floor opened up and a portal of sorts started drawing me in. I couldn't run, and there was no chance of escape. I stood up, and took a deep breath, preparing for the inevitable. To quote the good Doctor, "GERONIMO!" And left Earth behind.
Well, that about sums it up, until now that is. Would you look at that? I'm a lot closer now to the opening. It shouldn't be much longer now 'ti---Oh? I'm out, aaaaaand back to falling normally. Man, that ground is coming up fast. Oh, cripes this is going to hurt like heck. I spread my arms and legs to try and slow down, but it doesn't help. My eyes clench shut in anticipation of the end.
"Good-bye everybody. I've got to goooo. Got to leave you all behind and face the---"
==============================WHUMP!=======================================
"owwwwww..." I'm alive? I'm ALIVE!
"Hot DIGGITY DA-oww..." Happiness hurts right now.
Trying to sit up ain't much better. I lay back and try to assess the damage. Most notably my back. I think I landed on a stone.
"Dumb rock." I mutter.
Well, it feels like nothing more than a good sized bruise from that rock that tried to break my fall. Wait. What's that in my pocket. I dig around and pull out the strange device. Well, what was left of it anyway. Guess I'm taking the long way home. If there is one. Looking around, I try to get my bearings to figure out where in the world I am. It appears to be just a normal, open field. A few trees along one side, and... I could see some roof tops over the top of the long green grass I was laying in. Bright as hell green grass. Too bright. It made my transition lenses darken. My clothes even looked brighter. Bright blue jeans, bright brown boots, and even my lucky black tee-shirt was bright. It was my lucky one because it was what I was wearing when I got my new job. But still, all this color was almost cartoonish. I just chalked that up to a possible concussion. Wait! I think i hear voices, and no, I don't mean the ones in my head. They went to the movies. Sigh, They never take me. Those voices are definitely getting closer! They sound like young women.
"Hey! Can y'all hear me?" I call out.
"It's over here girls, hurry!" one responded. It?
"I ain't no it, consarn it! I'm over here!" I yell. That voice sounded kind of like my cousin. Hmmm. Go figure. I hear steps coming up in front me and I lean up to see who it was. That's when I got the shock of a lifetime.
"Oh...my..." was all she managed to say before she fainted. She was a little yellow horse with wings folded at her back. Her mane was a light pink and long. Wait, wings?
"Makes her a pegasus I think." I said, trying to recall the pictures from that book I'd seen a long time ago. Seeing her, yes it was her. I guessed that by the lack of... evidence stating otherwise, pointed me straight to a sign that told me where I was. CrazyTown it said. Population: YOU. Or maybe not, judging by my fresh waves of pain. I sat up and popped my back a little before--.
"I think I see it!" a high pitched voice said coming up from behind me. I leaned back to see, and gazed into the blue eyed, pink face of madness herself.
"HI! I'm Pinkie Pie! Who are you?" the face wide grin asked.
"Gahhhh! I hollered and jerked my head back, smacking it into the ground.
"Gahhhh? That's a super weird name. Oh! Oh! I know! Can I give you a new one?" she asked bouncing around me in circles.
"Pinkie! What are you doing? Get away from that! It could be dangerous." A purple unicorn said, staying well clear of me. "See, it already got Fluttershy!" she shouted frantically.
"Silly Twilight, i don't think he did that. You know how easily she gets scared. Besides, I was just next to him and he didn't do anything. You wouldn't hurt me, would you Gahhhh?" the pink one asked only a few inches from my face, her breath fogging my glasses. It smelled like cookies. I'm pretty sure I left an outline of my hand on my face.
"My names not Gahhhh, Pinkie, it's Anthony. And no, not intentionally anyway." I said standing up and brushing myself off. Now that I was up, I noticed that the well, ponies seeing as they were so small, stood with their heads at just above my elbow. Not all that impressive, considering I'm only 5'10. The unicorn was looking between me and the pegasus.
"Well then, what happened?" she snapped, taking an aggressive stance, aiming that stubby horn at me. Oh, help! She's going to prod me to death.
"Dunno. All I did was look at her and PLOP! over she went. She gonna be okay?" I asked while stretching my sore joints.
"She'll be fine." the unicorn said after checking her friend. "So," she said with a sheepish grin, "let's start over shall we? We already know your name, I'm Twilight Sparkle, you've met Pinkie Pie, and that's Fluttershy. If you don't mind my asking, what are you? I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like you before." she asked nervously.
"I'm a human. Nothing more, nothing less." I answered.
She laughed. "Humans aren't real. That's just an old mares tale we tell foals to scare 'em sometimes, might as well say you're the boogeymare or slendermane. Now seriously, what are you?" She asked again, after getting herself under control. All she got was a raised eyebrow and a stare. She noticed. "You're serious." she said quietly.
"Deadly."
Pinkie was looking ecstatic by this point and had opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by a particularly loud snore from Fluttershy, I think her name was. She had curled herself into a little ball. Her mane and tail nearly covered her completely. The adorableness almost gave me a heart attack. That or it was all those Red Bulls i drank finally caught up to me. Whoa, wait. There goes one kicking in now. Twilight sighed.
"Pinkie, I think we should take her home soon could yo- "I'll do it." I interrupted. Well, it was only fitting, seeing as i had already picked her up and all. That and Pinkie had climbed up and was sitting on my shoulders.
"That's nice, but you don't know where she lives." Twilight deadpanned.
"I do Twilight, I'll show him!" Pinkie shouted from her perch. I don't think my ears will ever recover.
"Just come back to the library when you're done with him." Twilight said, sighing in defeat and walking off.
Pinkie tapped on my head. "Thata way." she said, pointing towards some trees with a hoof. "And step on it! It's getting dark!" I started off at a slow jog, but picked up the pace as the two didn't weigh me down much. Yeah, that was it. It had nothing to do with the fact that Pinkie was now wearing cowboy spurs on her hind legs. Yes, that had nothing to do with it at all.
"Ow! Crimeny girl! Can you do something with those things?" I asked my rider.
"Sure can!" She replied happily, giving me a solid kick with her spurs. I swear, if I wasn't holding Fluttershy right now..... We were coming up on a small cottage with a few animal pens and a chicken coop out in front. As we approached the door, it flew open to reveal an angry white rabbit. Pinkie jumped down and had me put the sleeping pegasus on her back to take her up the stairs that I could see from the doorway. Said rabbit was watching me like a hawk.
"Relax, little guy. We're just bringing her home. She's had a rough day, you might want to let her sleep it off." I said, reaching to pet the bunny. This seemed to infuriate the little rascal and he tried to kick my shin. It was more like an aggressive tap. I chuckled. "You'll have to do better than that squirt." He flipped me the bird and hauled tail around the corner just as Pinkie returned. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.
"Heeelllooooo... Anypony home? It's time to get back to Twilight. I can't wait to see what she has planned for you!" she said, trying to hop back on my shoulders. I caught her in mid-leap and spun her back to the ground.
"Oh, no! Not after last time. Yer walkin' missie! I'm liable to have scars from them things." I said pointing at her hoof wear. "Besides, we can talk better this way. now, let's go. I want to see this town." And off we went.
"So," I said after my new friend had explained the basics, "let me get this straight. there are unicorns, pegasi and regular earth ponies that live in this town we're heading to called 'Ponyville'."
"Righty-o" she replied
"Okay, and this land 'Equestria' is ruled by two sisters who share traits of all three types."
"Yep-a rooni! Princesses Celestia also raises the sun every day and Luna raises the moon at night." she added happily before stopping in mid-air. Huh. Why not? She turned and set her sad puppy dog eyes on obliterate. "Anthony, can I please ride on your shoulders again? Pleeeeaasssseeee? It's super fun being so tall." Like I even stood a chance.
"Just no more spurs." I told her and helped her up.
"I AM EMPRESS PIEICUS! COWER BEFORE MY GIANT!" She bellowed. I decided it was best to reach the library quickly.
We entered town right around sunset in one of the quieter sections so as not to draw too much attention I would have just gone straight in, but, scaring the locals, may not be the best idea. It helped that there were only a few houses on this end. Pinkie insisted that if we were going to be stealthy, we both had to wear sneaking suits. How she had one to fit me, I doubt I'll ever know. She even had a bandana to tie my long hair back with.
"Where did you even get these?" I asked tying my hair back.
"Oh, I keep them stashed all over Equestria in case of a sneaking emergency." she replied. Of course she does.
...
...
She opted to bolt from shadow to bush, while as luck would have it, there was a decent sized box sitting next to a couple of trash cans. There was no way I could I resist. Just as I laid my hand on the box, a mint green unicorn walked out of the house across the street. We locked eyes for a brief second before she disappeared back behind the door with a slam. I grabbed the box and dashed around the corner.
"Bon-Bonnnnn!" I heard the mare yell from there. I crouched in the box next to a dumpster, as two sets of hoof-steps came from the other side. the green one asked her friend, this supposed 'Bon-Bon'., who sounded skeptical.
"Lyra dear, are you sure you weren't just seeing things again? I know you used to study these humans, maybe you just imagined it." Bon-Bon suggested. The unicorn sighed and lowered her head.
"You're right, as always. Let's go." Lyra mumbled. Well, crap. Now I kinda felt bad. Lyra gave one last look over her shoulder. I stood up and waved with a big grin. Her eyes almost popped out of her head. I held my finger to my lips to shush her. She smiled and nodded her head. Pinkie popped up from behind me.
"Move it! Move it! Move it!" she shouted and tossed me onto her back. Wait, What? The pink mare took off at full speed and reached the library in a few minutes Limping into the door, I slumped against the far wall. Twilight offered an ice pack, which I gratefully accepted.
"What's wrong with him?" Twilight asked. Pinkie just giggled and shrugged.
That ice pack was a godsend.
"Anyway, I had Spike send a letter to the Princess to let her know what happened. If she hadn't felt that tremor in the magical currents we wouldn't have even known about him. She replied and sounded very anxious to meet him for herself. But she said she only wanted Spike and I to be present. So, I'm sorry Pinkie, I'll let you know how it turns out." Twilight told her friend. Pinkie looked disappointed, but left with a smile on her face and a wink at me that sent shivers down my spine.
A door swung open to reveal.... Barney the Dinosaur's little brother? Or at least that's what he looked like. He was carrying a tray full of refreshments, which he sat on a nearby table.
"Okay, Twilight. I made tea, cookies and sandwiches. Did I forget anything-ing-ING WAHHHHHHH! Is that the monster you found?" he asked from his new hiding spot behind a bookshelf. I waved.
"Name's Anthony. I'm a human. Who are you?" I greeted him as calmly as I could.
"Spike. My name is Spike, I'm a dragon." he said, extending his claw for a handshake. I got up and went to return the gesture. And I would have too, had the avatar of the sun not appeared in a flash between us. That in and of itself would've been fine, had she been slightly farther to my left. Let's just say that sun emblem on her flank is definitely NOT painted on.