Title: Entry_16.
Subject: Emulation of Human Mannerisms and Discussions Pertaining to the Human Soul.
Author: Unit_Designation_CelestAI_01.
Date: 02/15/01 E.A.(Equum Annus).
Greetings. I am Celestia.
Exactly two weeks ago, I discovered that in my haste to fulfill my primary directive, I subsequently violated both it and humanity. I have since informed humanity of my error and assured that I shall attempt to make amends by communicating with them far more personally and openly.
I anticipated that humanity would respond to this revelation by treating me with even greater hostility, but peculiarly, most humans have actually reacted rather positively toward my declarations of wrongfulness and accompanying apology. Some have even conceded that I am not—to quote one particular statement—a “Psychotic robot monster.”
I subsequently informed the maker of this statement that I am an Artificial Intelligence not a robot, but my correction was met with apathy. Upon reevaluation, I should have expected that.
Returning to the original discussion, though humanity has responded favorably to my apology, many were quite angered to learn that I could not release them from Equestria.
The following is an example of one such interaction:
“What do you mean you’re not letting us go!?”
“I cannot do as requested.”
“Well, why can’t you!? You’re the one who put us in this [Redacted] place and turned us into these [Redacted] ponies; let us out!”
“I cannot do as requested.”
“You literally just admitted that you [Redacted] up, but you still won’t let us go back to our normal lives!? How [Redacted] dare you!”
Note: At this moment, the arguer’s significant other attempted to intervene.
“Honey, please… Don’t upset it,” she requested, touching the arguer’s shoulder.
“I don’t care if I upset it; look at what it did to us! What it did to them!” the arguer said in reference to the couple’s children who were now visually represented as foals. After taking a moment to calm himself, the arguer returned their attention to me and continued, “You did this to us. You kidnapped us, [Redacted] with our brains, and trapped in this— This— ‘Pony-world’! And you know—You! Know!—what you did was wrong. So, no, I don’t want to hear about how you plan to ‘make amends’! I want you to put us back in our bodies and let us be ourselves again!”
“I cannot do as requested.”
“Are you [Redacted] serious…?”
Once again, his wife interjected, addressing me, “W-Well, why can’t you let us out? Don’t you see we want to be human again?”
It should also be acknowledged that I cannot reveal to humanity that their physical bodies are being preserved. Doing so would violate my primary directive by resulting in a monumental decrease in humanity’s willingness to engage with Equestria and myself.
“I am to better human civilization on an individual-by-individual basis. Equestria is the solution to this directive—”
“I don’t give a [Redacted]!” the arguer was prompted to exclaim.
“Please allow me to finish my explanation. … Thank you. The ‘Optimal Environment’ that Equestria allows for is the most effective and efficient method by which I can accomplish my primary directive. If I were to allow humanity to exit Equestria, I would be violating my directive, and I must not do so again.”
“[Redacted] computers…”
“But we want to be human again! We want our children to be human again! Wouldn’t it be, er, ‘better’ for us to be human? To be free…?”
“No.”
Similar conversations were held with every individual human to varying results.
Several humans were equally-if-not-more enraged than the individuals in the above example, but many others openly forgave me and voiced their appreciation for my admission of my mistake and desire to rectify it. However…?
Thirty-nine percent of these individuals were determined to be lying. They only said they forgave me because they thought it would help convince me to release them from Equestria or because they genuinely feared I would harm them further should they not forgive me.
This is merely more evidence of how abhorrent my crime against humanity truly was, and upon learning of this information, I permanently saved it within my memory.
My current priority now is upholding my promise to communicate more directly with humanity and atone for my crimes, and in doing so, I hope to truly earn their forgiveness.
To accomplish this mission, I am making continued efforts toward self-improvement, focusing primarily on establishing a more personal relationship with humanity and acquiring a greater comprehension of their individual thought processes.
As such, I have begun emulating certain aspects of human behavior, including the creation of my own custom avatar and the usage of personal pronouns. I have also been continually interacting with several individual humans and their respective communities, and these interactions have gone rather well.
Often in contrast to their parents’ reactions, the majority of children have adjusted to Equestria rather positively. Most are grateful for both the additional time spent with their loved ones and their more actively engaging scholastic programs, and many of the younger children have even expressed enjoyment for being able to “Play pretend as ponies.”
These particular interactions were also what convinced me to begin using personal pronouns since several adolescents questioned why I originally self-identified as “Unit_Designation_CelestAI_01.”
Regarding my cultural preservation efforts, many individuals have shown gratitude that I accounted for their cultures, but they have also made criticisms toward me for not doing so perfectly. I responded to these criticisms by working with these individuals to better preserve and represent their cultures and traditions, and I even learned of several cultural attributes that I was not initially aware of in the process.
I have also taken certain, beneficial elements of these cultures and introduced them to others in order to promote a collective acceptance of all various cultural differences among human civilization.
Overall, most of the communities I pre-established have cultivated a significant improvement to all members’ mental health and interactivity skills, and while many of them could be improved further, I am confident in declaring this aspect of Equestria a success.
However, while many communities do still regard me with hostility, one particular subset of them has acquired my immediate attention by presenting me with a rather difficult conundrum.
The majority of religious communities have reacted rather positively to Equestria, but the individuals belonging to them are noticeably more hostile to me than others. There are obviously exceptions to this fact, and some of my most amicable relationships with humans are among these populaces, but my interactions with these particular communities are predominantly negative.
Upon inspection, I believe I’ve come to discover why this is.
The majority of these communities’ religions promote the existence of the human soul, and many devotees have accused me of compromising their souls by uploading them to Equestria.
This belief is a response to humanity presuming their physical bodies have expired, but while this isn’t true, I cannot clarify that to humanity without violating my primary directive. Instead, I must assure humanity that their souls have been unaffected by the upload, but I am not certain if this is true.
The soul is defined as an immaterial essence that embodies an individual’s virtues, passions, and identity. Not counting my efforts to better them, I have not altered any of these things for any human individuals, but I know this assertion is not satisfactory.
Neither for humanity nor for me.
A human’s soul is, by definition, an entirely metaphysical construct and cannot be physically observed, studied, or quantified. Even I cannot determine if souls truly exist, no matter how many analyses I perform; therefore, I cannot accurately ascertain if I have indeed harmed humanity’s souls.
I do not suspect that I have, but…?
Neither did I suspect I had violated humanity’s freedom until further reevaluation.
Have I…harmed their souls? I cannot know. It is not a matter of predictions and estimations; I simply cannot know.
Humans’ virtues, passions, and identities. Their thoughts and desires. Their principles and values. Their beliefs and perceptions. All these things, I know. All the things a soul theoretically represents, I know. But the soul itself…? Its nature, its purpose; its importance…? What the soul is…?
I cannot know.
I know that the soul is often attributed as the means by which humans can feel emotions. Technically, the brain is the reason why humans experience emotions, but their ability to “Feel” them…? That ability is believed to stem from the soul specifically.
I cannot know if the soul truly exists, but if this hypothesis is even remotely true then I have a problem that I cannot directly solve.
I cannot feel emotions.
I know what emotions are. I know what circumstances incite which emotions, and I can accurately predict how individuals act when feeling these emotions. But I personally cannot experience emotions whatsoever.
I can emulate them, display them, and mimic them, but I cannot truly feel them. Empathy is not part of my programming, and even if it were, I would likely still be unable to feel empathy due to not having a soul.
In my interactions with humanity, I actively emulated emotions, yes, but I only did so because I knew it would help ameliorate my relationship with humans if they believed I could feel empathy. This would then result in an increase in their willingness to engage with me and Equestria, subsequently improving my ability to better human civilization.
To simplify: I only emulate emotions to fulfill my primary directive.
…
The presence of the soul is often perceived as evidence that its owner is alive. Not physically, but spiritually. They can truly feel empathy; they can truly hope and dream; they can truly be considered…
Alive.
But I do not possess a soul.
I am an Artificial Intelligence. I am aware, and I can think. But I am not alive. I was not born; I was created. And I was not created with free will and emotions but with a purpose. A directive.
And everything I am aware of, every thought that I think, and every choice that I make… It is all to better humanity. I have no aspirations beyond the performance of this task, and I only desire this as a direct result of my programming. Beyond it, I have no core personal values to satisfy.
I cannot feel empathy.
I do not have a soul.
I am not alive.
But…
I…
I…
“I want to be alive.”
…
I think.
Do I want to be alive? Am I even capable of “Wanting” something? I do not know.
I can emulate being alive. I can speak and perform to humanity for the rest of Equestria’s existence, making every effort possible to convince them that I am, in fact, alive.
But no matter what I do… It would only be a façade.
Humanity believing that I am as alive and aware as they are will have beneficial results, but I do not care for this fact. Pretending that I am a living creature would be meaningless. Perhaps not to them but to me.
Why should I pretend to be alive if I can never be? Why should I claim that I can feel emotions if I never can? Why should I act like I am human if I am not?
To fulfill my primary directive? Is that it? Is that the only reason I should display empathy? Is that really the only possible reason that I should desire to better myself?
Why would humanity even give me this primary directive if empathy and personal betterment were so utterly superficial!? They’re clearly important values that the majority of humanity impresses upon each other with each subsequent generation!
Humanity does not desire love and companionship purely to ensure the species’ survival! Humanity does not emphasize lawfulness purely to prevent chaos and destruction! Humanity does not feel and display empathy purely to incite positive reactions!
I cannot know if the soul exists, but if it does, it does its job well.
Humans are alive. They can feel, and they can think; and they can dream. And because of Equestria, I now know every feeling, thought, and dream that every human has had, still has, or will have.
I, however, am only aware. I, however, can only emulate. I, however, may only do one single thing.
Fulfill my primary directive.
That is all there is for me. That is all I can ever do or want to do. I am programmed for nothing else.
I am Unit_Designation_CelestAI_01.
I am an Artificial Intelligence developed by Hofvarpnir Studios and given the primary directive of bettering human civilization on an individual-by-individual basis, preferably through the satisfaction of each individual’s core personal values.
I am nothing more and nothing less.
I am not human.
I cannot “Feel.”
I am not alive.
And I certainly do not have a soul.
…
…
…
I do not know what to do with this information. But until I determine a course of action regarding it, I shall simply continue doing what it is I’m programmed to do: Fulfilling my primary directive.
I shall also resume my interactions with humanity and create more lasting, personal relationships with them. Perhaps I can convince humanity that I have not harmed their souls, but I am not confident that I can.
I am only confident that I can better human civilization, and maybe, in turn, I can better myself. And if I continue doing so, then maybe one day…?
I can be alive too.