"James Bond! We could meet him," Dan stated.
"Didn't you say you already met him?" Twilight asked, remembering back.
Dan shrugged. "Well, to be fair, that was probably an impersonator or something. He's a famous spy. You could meet him and never know it."
"So you want to meet people, but not the people we've met and get more people on our team that can help us do stuff?" Chrys asked.
"I also want more car back. And my cat."
"Why am I getting the picture that your ultimate fantasy is just us as the A-Team?" Phoenix asked.
Dan recoiled. "What? No, why would I... want something as awesome as that, no. No... no. No. No, Nicky. There's no way we could be the A-Team."
"Alright."
"We'd obviously be the D-Team."
"There it is," Phoenix said. "I knew there had to be something."
"And you've been planning this for a while, haven't you?" Twilight asked.
"No! Well, maybe- not THAT long, just a few years. It's not like I'm making costumes and posters in my spare time."
"You made costumes for us all to impersonate villains," Twilight pointed out.
"But not posters! Those will take time to design and print out. We have to find the appropriate D-Team logos," Dan said.
"Uh huh. Well, I might just help you with these designs when we get back. If I'm going to end up wearing it anyway," Twilight said.
"That's the spirit! Let's go get us some land, first."
They ventured to the edge of town, the edge of the Everfree Forest. There was a path that led into the forest, made shortly after Zecora moved to town. The forest was still very much untamed, and the paths into the forest frequently were crossed by larger creatures, even more dangerous ones. But right now, another group of creatures were occupying the path.
"Oh! Uh... sorry."
"We'll get going. Lieutenant!"
"Yes, sir."
"Xenophon, three to beam up."
The trio of figures were quickly enveloped by beams of light. Then, they vanished.
Grumbling only slightly, Dan stomped past where they had been.
"So... what was that about?" Chrys asked.
"Starfleet. Space nerds," Dan answered.
"You're in contact with Starfleet?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, they wanted data on the Genesis-2 thingy and to research the planet. I said yes, in exchange for them leaving us- mostly me, alone and for... other important things," Dan explained.
Dan hadn't explained his dealings with Starfleet to anyone before; there hadn't been much to explain. The crew of the Reliant-R had been imprisoned on the moon along with the ponies and everyone else on Equestria. Apparently, the moon was really useful for imprisoning people. Upon being rescued, Starfleet kindly thanked Dan for his assistance and discussed a deal with him, a deal which Dan actually liked.
Starfleet recorded in its official report that Dan was a special project assistant for the Genesis-2 test, and that unfortunately the Reliant-R had been lost during the official test. In exchange for the research data, remaining project materials and permission to conduct ongoing studies, the Federation delivered several fleet ship modules and approved Dan as a tactical escort advisor to oversee things. As far as logs were concerned, Dan was now an ensign in Starfleet and the ships he was constructing in orbit were extensive defensive measures to help protect the ongoing research.
Starfleet had a few ships orbiting Equestria to conduct its ongoing research. The U.S.S. Forthright was the flagship of Admiral Phillip Owens who oversaw things. Captain Samuel Fletcher of the Noble was charged with escorting the science ships which came and went regularly. To anyone outside of Equestria, it all appeared as business as usual.
"So they're just here to... study?" Twilight asked. She looked over her shoulder as she walked by. "But that's what they said last time."
Dan stopped. "Wait. What you just said. They've been here BEFORE?"
"Yeah, a couple of times," Spike said. "They usually keep to themselves, and the first time, there was this doctor that-"
Dan held up a hand to stop him. "How. Many. Nerds. Have just popped out of thin air or randomly shown up here before?"
"Including you?" Twilight asked. They all giggled, save Dan.
"Dan, don't you kinda consider yourself a nerd? Aren't all of us?" Phoenix asked.
"I-that's, uh-I... shut up."
"People visit Equestria, Dan. From all over the place. Alternate realities, parallel dimensions, parallel realities and alternate dimensions."
"Famous lawyers brought in to save the day," Phoenix grinned, adding that caveat to Twilight's explanation.
"Alright," Dan announced. "When we get back, you are gonna make me a list of all the extra-dorkmensional activity Equestria's seen."
"Starting before or after you showed up?"
"Befor- wait, you're not funny! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" They laughed at Dan. He balled his fists, his arms went rigid at his sides and he stormed away from them. Not exactly effective, as they were going to the same place. But not every statement by Dan had to be a declaration, and even he knew that.
Finally, after several minutes of trekking through the forest, Zecora's hut appeared. It was always a bit of a welcome sight, as the Everfree never kept everything exactly where it was twice. True to its name, the Everfree Forest would not be tamed but having set paths or anything else. To be fair, though, it barely moved Zecora's hut an inch and that was just the one time. Probably to prove a point; the Everfree Forest also had a bit of a pride complex. Didn't like anyone getting too comfy with navigating it, and liked to screw with cartographers.
The Everfree also held plenty of secrets. Like a rare species of tree, the leaves of which held a powerful tranquilizer that knocked anyone who shook the tree out cold for no less than forty-five minutes and briefly forget about what they were doing. Zecora used an extract from the leaves to make a sleep aid potion, while her husband liked to use the same extract for poison darts. The same darts his personal guard carried and tended to use on trespassers, and if it's not obvious by now where I'm going with this, congratulations! You must be new here. If not, I still don't recommend the poison darts.
"Oh, dear General! Your favorite fantastic fivesome of foes has arrived!"
"Try not to let the whole forest know we're here."
"By the way gang, been thinking- we could get more than we negotiated for last time."
"Come again?" Twilight asked. "His first deal, he offered us land. Phoenix and Chrys haggle for more land. So what are you planning on getting by potentially pissing him off now?"
"EVEN MORE land," Dan clarified. "Or cash. Hey, there's the debt crisis solved right there! For every zebra that fights, we get gold! Ah, that's a great idea, Twilight!"
(What's more surprising is that they might actually go for that.)
"Hmmm. Maybe. But that's if we actually-" she fell over.
"Twilight?" Spike spun around. Then, he and Phoenix fell over.
Dan ran over to them. "Guys? Gu-OW!" Something hit Dan in the back of the neck. He reached around for it, and felt the dart.
Chrys felt something fly through her perforations. Several things. Then, they flew through her wings. Finally, she rolled her eyes.
"OH, for buck's sake." She grabbed a dart out of thin air and jabbed her neck with it. "There. Happy?" She passed out.
Unsurprisingly, they woke up in Zecora's hut. Slightly surprisingly, they woke up surrounded by zebras.
"How are all you guys even fitting in this place?"
The zebras said nothing. Zebra warriors, all armed with spears and shields only, all stared at them with unblinking eyes. It was kind-of unnerving, to the point you'd probably asked them to blink just to make sure they weren't statues.
"Can you guys like... blink?" the tied-up Dan asked. See? It's THAT uncomfortable. "Please?" One did. "Oh thank gawd. It's... it's actually kinda hurting my eyes to look at you. Thanks. Keep doing that."
The zeeb-dweebs parted. Zen Zeal stepped forward. He was grinning.
"I take it you've reconsidered my offer, your highness."
"Yeah, we want cash, too, this time. Also more la-AAAA!" He felt the spear of one of the zebras graze his back, but then was surprised when they cut his binds instead. "Oh... thanks."
"General Zeal," Twilight stepped forward. "The Kingdom of Equestria would graciously like to accept your offer to assist us in the defense of our world." The air of authority and royal pony-ness in her voice could not be overstated. "We would like to accept your original offer of land north of Prosperity, and west of the Everflow from the-"
He held up a hoof. "Stop. You can have all the land from river to sea. My people care not for land they're not using. I cannot provide material or currency, however. Our own coffers have been empty since our return."
"The Zebra Kingdom's broke, too?" Chrys asked. "Well, crap. AND WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CHANGELINGS?!"
"Easy, girl," Dan petted her. "Like I haven't seen the magazines you've been laying around the house."
"M- what magazines? I don't know what you're talking about..."
"Apiarist's Weekly, All About Ant Farming, Insects Monthly, Bug Fables? Ring any bells?"
"Th-that last one's actually a game for me and Fluffle," Chrys clicked her hooves together shyly. Dan was her first boyfriend, Chrys was not Dan's first girlfriend. It was an interesting dynamic, where Dan had the experience and Chrys had the burning urge to build a new hive with him. And lack of cash helped none of these plans.
"So you are planning on engaging in honorable defense against the invaders," Zen said. He stood, tapped the edge of his spear to his chin. Carefully, he twisted it in his hoof. "Or you plan on using us as a diversion while you flee."
"The second one, that definitely came to mind," Dan said. "Look, you wanna fight, they wanna fight, we wanna get outta dodge, you're all gonna get sucked into a black hole. Everybody wins... everybody that matters, anyway."
"We would uh... obviously, teleport you guys out of danger. First," Spike awkwardly added.
Zen scowled. "You fight without honor. Disdainful. I want nothing of your deceits. I want glory. Glory that comes from fighting the would-be gods."
"I also beat you. So you can stick your glory right up your-"
"You are also on your knees, begging for money while your kingdom collapses from within," Zeal said. He twisted the spear again in his hoof.
"Okay, uh..." Dan thought quickly. "What if we employed you in an... advisory role?"
Zeal turned to him slowly. "Continue."
"You could train us!" Phoenix blurted. "You can do a lot of cool things with just a bunch of wooden weapons. Could you teach ponies how to do that?"
Zeal sighed and rolled his eyes. "Of course. Training."
"What's your deal, Zeal? You want war so badly, why even wait?" Dan asked. Behind him, all four of his friends with him tried to whisper to him that it was a bad idea. "Even I don't go looking for fights this big. Does your precious little honor matter that much if your entire civilization dies?"
The old warrior closed his eyes. "I've lived through multiple lifetimes, more civilizations than I care to count."
(What's surprising is he actually believes this crap.)
"Same here, Nicky."
"Stop reading my thoughts, Dan."
"Stop thinking so loudly."
"War is part of me. It is in my very spirit, beyond blood and beyond bone."
"Not beyond long-winded speeches, apparently."
"For me to deny battle would be a more abhorrent offense than to deny breath," Zeal said. "I am a warrior. I have trained thousands of generations of warriors. Countless times have I lived, died and been born again on the field of battle. My honor carries the spirit of all my lives, all those proud nations, proud kings and queens, men and women I've fought beside-"
"Hit me with another dart and wake me when he's done blabbing."
"I have killed more than could fill ten of this world. Death has never held me long. Neither has defeat," Zeal turned to them again. And he smiled. "Your terms are accepted."
"Fantastic!" Dan got up. "Welcome to the-" he was hit with another tranquilizer dart and fell to the ground, mid attempt at handshake. Zeal darted all of them, save Twilight.
Zeal tapped his spear twice on the ground. His zebras raised up the fallen forms of Twilight's friends and carried them out.
"Where, may I ask, are you taking my friends?"
"To be trained, your highness. Training begins immediately. They will be taken to the forest clearing."
"Oh... okay. Um... are you going to give me any training?" Twilight asked, suddenly shy again. She was always eager to learn, even from warmongers.
"Of course," Zeal smiled.
"So... why didn't you knock me out?"
"Do you wish to be carried?"
"N-no," Twilight said. "Just... curious."
"Yes, I can tell. Your training will be different. You require lessons in balance, understanding. I could sense your chi being twisted the moment you entered the forest."
"My... what?"
"Dan requires a different lessons. He knows of balance already. He has focus," Zen said, leading her out of the hut.
"What lesson does Dan require?"
He looked back at her and grinned again. "Awareness."