Sam trot- Sam walked alongside me as I shook my head. Fucking slip-ups with my words were happening more often. It was a little concerning, if anything. I nearly said everypony instead of everyone in the post office. Thank christ, I played it off like I just had a massive stutter. Still, our little resupply run was successful.
We had nearly two hundred and fifty dosages of Pon-E in our backpacks between the both of us. All that remained now was a walk down the sunlit street to our bus stop, then a brief crosstown ride to my house. What followed was a particularly tense bus ride with a cop standing opposite us the entire way. After that, we were finally at the doors to my house. Who’d have thought drug smuggling was so easy? “I’ll let us in. My old man should be around so just act normal.”
“Like I’m not normal?” I deadpanned at Sam.
“The feather brain that names himself Super Sabre wants to start talking about being normal?” as expected, Sam wilts under my gaze. I still can’t believe that he’d named himself after an aircraft. Or the fact the ass had gotten a cutiemark before me. Lucky motherbucker. Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I started to fish for my keys, searching through my pockets before something made my brain try to flick my ears.
I could have sworn I heard someone’s voice from inside the house? A stillness overtook both of us. As we stood on my front porch, straining to listen for any more noise from inside the house.
“You hear that?” evidently, Sam had heard it too. We resumed waiting for a few moments until we were rewarded by another sound from inside. It was faint, muffled by the front door and probably a few walls inside the house. If I was a pony, I would have been able to hear whatever the sound was. Fucking human ears feel like wearing earmuffs after you get used to equine ones. I had to resort to pressing my ear against the door like some sort of cartoonish burglar.
I was rewarded, though, with my ear pressed to the door; I could make out the sounds from inside more clearly. It was definitely dad’s stereo system. The subtle crackle of vinyl was unmistakable.
“WOOO!”
However, the girlish whooping? that was odd. The sound of a bass guitar and drums filled the air before giving way to what I think was a keyboard. The song was familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.
“An Ill wind comes arising, Across the cities of the plains.”
She was singing? A strange woman had broken into my house, raided dad’s vinyl and was singing with the stereo at max volume. Was she trying to get caught? Where the hell was dad? I knew that Atlanta had an issue with drug users, but this was ridiculous. I snickered at the irony of that statement before finally retrieving my keys.
“There’s no swimming in the heavy water!”
“No singing in the acid rain!”
“I’m gonna let us in, stay behind me, sam” The click of the door unlocking was masked by the unknown woman hitting an admittedly impressive high note. The song itself continued on, the rumbling of my dad’s speakers giving us some cover to sneak into the house without risking her hearing us.
“Fred, you’ve not got the whole Earth Pony strength going right now. Shouldn’t I take point?” I looked back at him and shook my head. This was my damn house...well, technically dad’s but regardless. If someone broke in, I’d be the first to deal with them. With a hand held up to tell Sam to stay back, we slunk from the door towards Dad’s study.
“You sometimes drive me crazy, but I worry about you!”
She was still singing, thankfully unaware we were even in the house. Whatever this chick was on must have been strong as hell to have her this checked out of reality. Sam and I stopped at the doorway to the study. We were able to hear the sound of something on the carpet as whoever was inside danced around. Although they didn’t quite sound like shoes or feet. I held up three fingers.
“Cruising under your radar.”
two fingers
“Watching from the satellites.”
one finger
“Take a page from the red book.”
I put my last finger down, we stormed around the corner. Only to see a bright pink pony with a mane like she’d been electrocuted holding my dad’s decorative mic.
“What the fuck”
“What the fuck”
“Hi, Freddy!”
The bright pink Pony stared at us, smiling wide enough she could probably win a pinkie pie look-alike contest. My temples throbbed as if to warn me of an oncoming migraine, resulting in a frustrated growl from me. Needless to say, I was not sure why the fuck there was a pony in my house, especially one that wasn’t in our group.
“Why the fuck are you in my house? You’re lucky we haven’t called the cops.” I snarl at the pink intruder, who merely smiles back at me. We can’t call the cops because we’re literally drug mules right now, but still, she doesn’t know that. A side-eyed glance from Sam suggests he realises I’m bluffing.
“What? Cops? Why would you call them?” She asks with her head cocked to the side in confusion. Yet the large smile doesn’t even waver as she sways slightly on her hooves.
“You’re not supposed to be here, this is my family's house, and last I checked, I don’t recognise you.” She just giggled and waved a hoof at me in response. Her antics either in line for someone thoroughly high or one of the more radical changes I’d heard about under the influence of Pon-E. I remember a post in the thread had talked about people more or less losing any sense of inhibition under its effects. Resulting in antics that would have fit the show pretty damn well...or some activities that belong in the cloppier side of the fandom.
“Oh, don’t be silly, of course you know me!” She insisted as her goofy grin widened.
“I really don’t. Sam, go to the kitchen, under the sink. I think we’ve got duct tape.” He headed off with a nod, leaving me alone with the Pony. Only now, as the vinyl continued into a very heavy drum solo, I realised there was a pattern to her movements. She’s been bouncing up and down to the music as it continued to play the entire damn time.
“Why’d you want duct tape? Not like I’m hurting Anypony.” She said as she rose to her hooves, her subtle bouncing to the beat adapting into a full dance. I had to admit she seemed remarkably coordinated. Most of us hadn’t been that put together until our fourth or fifth time on Pon-E.
“You broke into my house,” I growled at her, my anger fading despite my wishes. Fucking ponies are hard to be mad at. Again, she burst into a bout of giggles before her legs folded, and she collapsed to the floor, pounding it with a hoof. The sound of somepony performing their best impression of dying of laughter filling the room.
“Oh, this is gold! You don’t even recognise me, boy, howdy. These must be strong.” Before I could even say anything, she practically bounced on her hooves over to the cabinet. With ease, I didn’t expect even considering her surprising level of coordination. She bumped a hoof into the door, swinging it open to reveal my dad’s vinyl collection. The grin she wore turning up slightly at the corners, the mischievous twinkle in her eyes managed to unsettle me a little. “Let’s turn this into a game then! You guess who I am? I’ll give you a hint!”
“Sam, get that fucking tape!” I yelled, my patience having worn thin enough I could practically see through it. Seemingly unaware of me being on the verge of snapping at her. The pink Pony slid an unmarked vinyl out of the rack, swapping it with the one on the turntable with an ease that would make Pon-3 jealous. If she was real...then again, Lunanon turned into Luna, so it is possible, I suppose.
After setting the needle and hitting play, she plopped her plot down beside the turntable and looked at me, her smile still all the same. The twinkle in her eyes seemingly had grown as she waited in silence. Even with the absence of a beat, she seemed to be swaying to something. Soon enough, the vinyl crackled softly before the sound of a children’s toy filtered out into the room.
“Wait…” to confirm my suspicions, an acoustic guitar started up moments later.
“Come on, use that noggin!” The Pony encouraged before starting to bop her head back and forth to the guitar as it only intensified. Regardless of what was going on, she seemed to be having a great time.
“Why the fuck would you play this tra….” The last time I had heard this track was after it had happened. Tears burned at the corners of my eyes as the facts started to slot together. I had a dosage of Pon-E upstairs; this mare knew dad’s vinyl collection like the back of her hand...hoof? She also remembered this track. The realisation dawned on me, my jaw dropped as I looked down at her only for the mare to burst into laughter, as she wiped a tear away with a foreleg.
“it’s a shame this is all a trip.” Her words hung in the air, even prompting her little dance to stop for the briefest of moments. The music faded away as I looked down at the mare before me. Her smile had died as she spoke. The spark in her eyes barely lingered before she perked back up as the track changed.
Sam returned, duct tape and scissors in hand, bursting through the door with a look of triumph on his face.” What’d I miss?”
“That’s my dad, and evidently, she thinks this is all a drug trip,” I muttered, feeling like I was on autopilot. This whole situation felt way too surreal like a camera crew should jump out soon and reveal this was all some elaborate prank. Sam, helpful as ever, burst into laughter, slapping his knees as he struggled to stay standing. At that moment, I thought that I really should have got Lily to come with me to grab the resupply. At least she’d be helpful if something insane like this had happened.
“So, we were out for what? About an hour? So she’s like this for another eleven…” Well, that could be worse, I supposed, it was a Saturday, so at least dad didn’t have to head into work today. We weren’t gonna be able to sort this on our own, and I knew it. With a sigh, I pulled out my phone and flicked through the contacts, leaving Sam and the mare formerly known as my dad alone for a moment. Time to let the others know that we’re gonna likely to be getting a new member.
“So then, what’re you gonna call yourself? Can’t just use a boring human name.” Oh, for fucks sake Sam! The one thing you don’t fucking do on your first time going Pony is name yourself. We’d fucked that up already, but god damn it, did he not manage to fucking think for once. The mare rolled onto her stomach and stared up at him, visibly thinking as she scrunched her muzzle. Idly I noticed that she was more expressive than most of the other ponies I’ve met, potentially a side effect of whatever the hell is happening inside her head?
“Limelight!” Well, shit, she’s named herself now. Sam and Limelight started to chat as I took the opportunity to turn the music off. I needed to make a call, and listening to Give us the rope in the background wouldn’t be exactly helpful.
Limelight’s reaction was immediate, the second the needle squeaked as I lifted it from the record. I heard a panicked scream from behind me before she ploughed into me, her hooves frantically scrambling for something from the pile of Vinyls beside the place and trying to bat at the needle.
”putitbackputitbackputitback”
“W-what?” I blurt while Sam stood back, seemingly shocked that she tackled me. Her ears splayed as she clamps her hooves over them, her whole body starting to shake as she screwed her eyes shut.
“PUT THE MUSIC BACK”
Faced with the prospect of an earth pony having a meltdown within bucking distance of my chest, I reached for the turntable. By the time the album starts from the top, she’s covered in sweat, her chest rising and falling as she hyperventilated. Hooves still pressed over her ears with her eyes shut. I could see the white sweat foam building around her neck and chest. Gradually as the music played, she calmed down, from a full-fledged meltdown to merely shaking like a leaf. Despite my reservations about this whole situation, I pulled her into a hug. Pony or not, she was family. With each stroke of her sweat-soaked mane, she managed to get her breathing more under control.
“what the fuck was that?” Sam asked across the room, reminding me why his lack of tact was so helpful. I didn’t want to ask that awkward question, yet my brash featherhead of a friend would blurt it out. Limelight began to rock herself in my arms, shuddering the entire time. It was strange. I was used to seeing that madcap smile, not this almost shell shocked stare with ears folded against her head hard enough they looked like they were going to bury themselves in her skull.
“don’t wanna talk about it.” her reply came, barely above a whisper as she pressed her face into my shirt, smearing sweat and tears into the grey fabric. Sensing she wasn’t likely to leave my arms, for now, I sighed.
“Can you call Lily? I think Limelight is gonna need some help cleaning herself up, and I am not willing to do that.” I asked, looking across at my friend with pleading eyes before he excused himself to head outside.