//------------------------------// // The Ballad of Bob, Part Two // Story: Be Human: the All-American Girl Sidestories // by Shinzakura //------------------------------// “Hi, Trevor.” Trevor looked up from his desk and found Giselle standing there, leaning against his cubicle wall. Her tail was flickering back and forth with nervous activity, something he’d seen his buddy do before, so was it common for all gryphons? “Hi, Giselle. What’s up?” he asked, gesturing towards the spare seat. “Um…have you seen Gunther lately?” She was holding something in her claws. “I, uh, made some banana nut muffins and Gavin doesn’t really care for them – I completely forgot – so I was going to give them to Gunther.” She suddenly blushed slightly, but then recovered. “Actually, that’s really rude of me, sorry. Would you care for one?” “Naah, nut allergy,” he said, waving it off, “but I appreciate the sentiment.” It wasn’t true, of course, but it made him wonder why she was carrying a sudden batch of muffins to another building on campus. Wouldn’t it be easier to just share them with the folks in her office? Unless they were made specifically for him… “It’s a shame he’s not here at the moment,” Trevor commented. “He absolutely loves banana nut muffins.” “Really?” Her eyes lit up like the sun rising majestically over the horizon. “That’s great!” She quickly calmed down and revised her words with, “I mean…that’s good to know. So, um, is he at lunch or…?” “Oh, actually, for one, he works on the third floor. Second, he’s actually on vacation for a couple of weeks. Had to take care of some personal stuff, he said. Maybe it has something to do with his family, I dunno. But he’ll be back on the 19th, if that helps.” Her wings flared out suddenly; she looked embarrassed as she suddenly brought them back under control. “That’s nice. Um, if you if you hear from him, would you tell him I said hi?” “Sure.” “Thanks.” She beamed a smile at him; Trevor, knowing his old friend, was familiar enough with gryphons to know how they smiled. “Well, I have to get back to work. I’ll see you later.” As she disappeared, Max walked in. “So, man, you ready for lunch?” “Don’t you know it. Eastside Café sound okay?” “Works for me.” He then leaned forward and asked, “So, what was Giselle doing here?” “Looking for our little lovelorn buddy, I think. I think there’s something going on between her and her boyfriend and I think she’s starting to weigh her options.” “Really?” Max rubbed his chin in wicked thought. “This might require some careful watching, you think?” “Yup.” Trevor leaned back in his chair, looking at the door that Giselle had walked out of. “I just hope that whatever our friend’s doing, he’s doing it with care and precision.” Bob slipped on the clothing. It looked him, just perfectly. Pirate shirt and tight jeans, with cavalier boots. The tousle of his headfeathers he’d copied from Gordon Grindclaws, the guitarist for the heavy metal band We Hate You All. Of course, Bob didn’t really care for metal, but the featherstyle was just perfect for his looks. He posed in the mirror, posing to get the best looking angle for him. He was going to become a new gryphon, one that the old Gunther couldn’t have dreamed of. Seeing a couple of loose feathers in his wings, he started primping, something he’d never done before in his life. The old Gunther didn’t really pay much attention to his looks, but Bob was a different animal, a gryphon on a drug called Bob Smith. Satisfied with his appearance, he looked around his house, figuring there was much more to be done if he was going to make things as right as they should be. After all, who wanted to bring home such a luscious babe like Giselle to a place like this? It looked like an IKEA special, and clearly not indicative of a “Bob” kind of style. So off to shopping he would have to go. Then there was his car. While he really enjoyed his imported little SEAT, he needed something that spoke a little more about his new style. He’d keep the SEAT, of course; one could never really know when an ordinary car would be needed, though he knew that for a different day and age he’d want something a little closer to his personal tastes…or at least the ones he was formulating. The phone suddenly rang, Bob slid over to where it sat, tapped the answer icon on the screen and said in a smooth, controlled voice, “This is the Wonderful World of Bob. How may I assist your request for awesomeness today?” “Um…sorry, I must have the wrong number,” a voice said on the other line. “Oh, no, hey, wait. Gwen? That you?” “Oh, hiya, big brother!” Bob’s little sister gushed over the phone. Guinevere was just a couple of years younger than he but already seemed to have her life well in hand. A senior at CalArts down in Los Angeles, she was studying to be an animator, a job she’d loved since she was nothing but a little chick and he a cub not much older. Gunther had always been impressed as to how in control of her life his little sister had been, and as Bob he doubted he’d be any less so. “Um…what’s the Wonderful World of Bob?” He didn’t think it was something that he could explain to his sister over the phone, so he said, “I’ll tell you later. So what’s up?” “Um…I was wondering if…you could pick me up at the airport?” “You’re home for the weekend?” “Well, yeah! The secret birthday party we’re throwing for Mom, remember?” Bob flinched; he hadn’t remembered that. “Anyway, I’m waiting for you at the arrivals gate at Sea-Tac. Western Airlines Flight 205. See you in thirty?” “Um…sure. See ya.” Bob grinned slightly; he was going to have to tell his family sooner or later, and he and Gwen got along wonderfully, maybe she could help him in cultivating his new look as well as finding a way to explain it to their parents – gryphons being notoriously traditionalist and his parents being blander than vanilla to boot. Well, it’s not like I have much choice anyway, he told himself. Reaching over to get his keys, he checked himself in the mirror for a final time, looking to make sure that his… Waitaminit…. He reached over, picking up the shades, and slipping them on. The limited-edition “DJ P0N-3 Special” Oakleys fit comfortably and easily, and now assured that he had everything well in hand, he headed out the door for the quick trip up to the airport. “Hey, Giselle, I need a lift to Sea-Tac.” “Gavin, deal with it yourself. I’m not your chauffeur.” Giselle sighed once again. She was not going to bail him out of this again. She loved him dearly, but sooner or later he was going to…. “Look, you know I can’t. That’s why I need you to—” “Look…Gavin, take a taxi, okay? You should’ve thought of this earlier. I’m at work right now and—” “Look, my flight’s in forty-five minutes, it’s gonna take forever for a taxi to get here from downtown and if I miss the trip to E3, my boss is going to have my hide!” She cawed angrily. “Fine, but you’re finding a way back home, got it?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. See ya in ten.” Saying nothing further, he hung up the phone. Giselle had to fight instinct to slam the receiver of her own down. Instead, she turned to look into the next cubicle and her co-worker and friend, Linda. “Hey, gotta take off for a bit. Tell the boss it was personal business and I’ll be back in an hour, okay?” Linda rolled her eyes. “Giselle, sooner or later, you’ve gotta kick that ingrate to the curb. He’s using you and you’re letting him!” After that, she said nothing further; the two had gone over this a dozen times and it had yet to sink into Giselle’s brain. “We’ll talk about this later, okay? I just…Gavin’s not always like this. You just don’t see him when h—” “Feed me the line of shit later, k, girl? Now get going.” With her hand, the woman dismissed the gryphoness, wondering when oh when she was going to wake up and join those born with a clue. As she walked to her car, Giselle sighed, wondering what she’d done to be stuck with Gavin. Oh, that’s right…. Gwen stood by the curb, waiting to be picked up. As usual, the skies overhead were a typical just-on-the-verge-of-raining look. Even still, she just wore a tanktop, jeans and Vans, trying to feel casual and flirty. After all, she was a gryphoness and gryphonesses always wanted to look their best…. She smiled to herself; she wasn’t out to make anyone look bad, and it wasn’t her fault that the Great Galactic Gryphon had blessed her with some decent genes. She then thought about her older brother and felt bad for him. Gawky, no sense of fashion, kind and friendly but very much a wallflower, Gunther was, as a human friend of hers said, “the kind of guy every woman wants to marry but no girl wants to date.” And it was unfair to him. He was a geek – geeks tended to be obsessed; certainly she understood that even if none of her friends did. And he was loyal and honest and caring…just not wild. And unfortunately for him, any gryphoness – possibly any sapient female, really – wanted something just a little on the wild side during the dating period. He’ll find someone, I’m sure of it, she thought to herself as she dived back into looking at her tablet. He just needs to update his looks a little. Maybe I can help him with that while I’m here, right? She was so engrossed in her thoughts and the magazine on the tablet that she barely noticed the freaky gryphon that walked over to her. “Go away,” she said, prepping her obvious lie. “Waiting for my boyfriend.” She looked up briefly and saw something that could charitably be thought of as if a rock star and a pirate merged in a very bad Voltron way. Without sparing a second thought she went back to reading her online copy of Pinfeather: The Gryphoness Fashion Weekly. “What, not going to say hi to your older brother?” the lunatic asked…in a very familiar voice. At that, Gwen looked up…and stared. And stared. And stared. “So, whaddya think?” Bob asked, turning around and parading for her. “Do I look hawt?” Gwen, meanwhile, continued to stare. It was as if she was seeing the Hypnotoad preside over a rubbernecking trainwreck of the century. “Gunther?” The refugee from a pirate film grinned. “It’s Bob now. Changed my name legally.” “Y…yo….” Gwen’s head suddenly felt light and she passed out. “Gwen? Sis?” Bob moved forward, helping his sister back to her feet. Gwen did always have a problem with fainting spells. Ironic, admittedly that someone as easygoing and confident as Bob’s younger sister could easily slip the bonds of consciousness, but then again, it was a medical issue she had throughout her life. Human doctors said that it was treatable with a drug cocktail, and considering how fast she collapsed he guessed she was due for another batch. Well, best not to leave her here. With a bit of a strain he lifted her off her feet, then grabbed her bag with his tail, thankful that gryphon tails were prehensile. Giving a few passersby a slightly embarrassed grin, he then moved towards the car, glad that no one he knew was there to have seen that moment – it wasn’t exactly a good start to his life as Bob. Sitting in the passenger seat, Gavin had a look of annoyance on his face. “Man, this is going to suck. I had tickets to tomorrow night’s game between the ‘Hawks and the 49ers! 50-Yard seats, just me and my homies! And now this E3 shit pops up? I mean, what’s up with that?” Giselle rolled her eyes. “Yes, because you work for a game company and having to attend the largest gaming convention in the world is soooo difficult.” “Hey, it’s Trainwreck Muldaur’s first time back in the game since he was taken off the D-List! I was hoping to see him smash the hell out of Frisco!” The large gryphon looked as though he was going to cry. “That ticket cost me a fortune….” His sorrow was quickly broken off as he started laughing roariously. “Man, check out that freakamoid! What circus did he escape from? And where’d he get the babe?” Giselle stared at the weirdly-dressed gryphon walking towards a car, carrying a very attractive gryphoness – so much so Giselle felt a little plain in comparison. She was going to laugh slightly, until she saw a glimpse of the gryphon’s face, and she gasped. No…it can’t be him. He’s just…. Is he? This was compounded by the fact that the couple were going to a car that was very similar in make and color to Gunther’s own. “Hey, Giselle, what the hell? We’re going to pass my stop!” Gavin snarled. In turn, she slammed on the brakes, swinging her car over towards the curb. As the gryphon got out of the car, he said, “Watch it, okay? You’re losing it, whatever it is.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said, not really interested in anything he had to say at the moment; her mind was on the mystery that had been placed before her. “See you Friday,” she said, driving off the minute he’d retrieved everything from the car. She didn’t even look back as Gavin receded into the distance, wondering just what was going on with her. Once off the airport grounds, Giselle made a couple of calls. The first was to her boss. “Yeah, Marty, not feeling good. I think it’s the feather flu. No, no human’s going to catch it unless they suddenly sprout wings; it only affects species with wings…Of course. Wouldn’t want the pegasi down the hall to get it. And I’ll be working from home for the next couple of days, not actually laying in bed sick, per se…Okay, got it. Talk to you later. Bye.” That should keep him busy for a few, she thought to herself, and then made a second call. “Oh, heya, Wendy, it’s Giselle. Is Trevor in?...Oh, so he and Max went to lunch. That’s fine. Hey, can you have Trevor give me a call on my cell?...Thanks. It’s 425-555-4753…Thanks. I really appreciate it. Thanks again. Bye!” She then went to stop for lunch. If her hunch was right, Gunther wasn’t the gryphon he said he was…and her heart was going to break for it. Gwen woke up in a familiar room, coming to on Gunther’s bed. She’d slept here quite a few times when he was helping her on school projects, so she was well-versed with the rather pedestrian look of his room. Just perfectly normal, Gwen. You’re going to get out of the room and Gunther will be baking some chocolate chip cookies, because he always does that when you’re visiting. Perfectly normal, perfectly normal. “Heya, sis. Feeling better?” Gwen’s eyes slid left and found Gunther sitting on the chair he kept in the bedroom, always predictable and always planned. But…who she was looking at wasn’t him. Instead, she found some wild-eyed goofball sitting in the chair. He had that same tousled creststyle as Gordon Grindclaws – seriously, who would in their right mind wear that in public? – as well as a burgundy red open-chested pirate shirt, very tight tan jeans and a pair of floppy black boots; in his right claw he was holding a brandy snifter…and he never drank! She half-expected him to announce that he was Gisbourne Gustwing, the legendary gryphon air pirate that terrorized Equestria’s skies hundreds of years ago. “Gunther?” she asked, her voice incredulous. He chuckled. “Once upon a time, maybe. Now I’m Bob, Robert Smith. Changed my name legally.” She sat up, aghast. “Gunther—” “Bob.” “Whatever! What kind of drugs are you on?” “I’m high on life!” he laughed. “Don’t you get it? For years, you’ve been trying to suggest that I was boring, dull, needed change. And now, now I realize that. I missed out on the gryphoness of my dreams because of it. But I’m trying to change all that, be the gryphon I was meant to be!” “How? You planning to go down to Anaheim next week and audition for Pirates of the Carribean?” she asked. She then shook her head, waving her claws. “Look – when I said that you needed a change to your style, I didn’t say dress like you joined the freakin’ Cirque de Soliel, okay? I was expecting you to switch to polos and khakis, a little more preppy. Right now? You look like a wannabe Goth run through a fruits blender.” “Why are you so down on who I am now?” he countered. Bob was more than a little surprised; he thought his sister if anyone would be more supportive. “Because this isn’t you! This isn’t Gunther!” “And I’m not Gunther anymore. You need to understand that,” he said, sighing dramatically. “Yeah, then who are you? Nightmare Moon?” He stood up. “Look, no matter what, I’m still your big brother, okay? That’s never going to change.” A thought suddenly came in. “So who’s the girl?” He looked at her oddly and she knew she’d scored. “You wouldn’t do this out of the blue, and I thought I heard you saying that you’re missing out on the gryphoness of your dreams. So who is she?” “Did I say that? Figure of speech, really.” She grinned, wagging a finger. “You’re improving – that almost sounded believable.” She gave him an earnest smile, adding, “Look, whatever you’re doing, you must be serious about it. I just wish you’d told me about it; I could have done something to help.” Bob shrugged. “It’s something I have to deal with. A second later, something came to mind. “Look – you hungry or something?” “A little.” “Tell ya what: let’s go down to the deli on 65th, just like old times. I’ll prove I’m the same gryphon, just…a little different.” “That sounds wonderful,” she said before she felt woozy getting up. “Sorry, can I take a raincheck? My blood levels must still be low.” “I thought you were getting that checked out with a doctor,” he accused. “I am; it’s just that I didn’t have a chance to take the medicine, because it makes me really drowsy afterwards and I needed to be awake. But I think I could use a nap right now.” Bob nodded. “Tell you what: why I don’t I go get them and bring them back, and you can just lie down until I get back. The usual?” She nodded and Bob went off towards the front door. He might not be Gunther any longer, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about his kid sister. Meanwhile, Gwen went over to her brother’s kitchen with her pills, took two of them, and then went and washed them down with a glass of water. She then went and crawled back over in his bed, determined to get at least a quick twenty minutes of shut-eye. 337 58th Street, Apartment 6. Giselle read the text Trevor sent her on the phone. Well, this is the address. Hope he’s home. The gryphoness knocked on the door, with no answer. She then knocked again, and what sounded like a mumbled female voice slurring, “Hold on, hold on, I’m coming, okay?” Giselle then found herself looking at the other gryphoness from earlier, and to her utter dismay she was even more attractive in person than from a distance. Giselle always thought of herself as the pretty sort, but there was a difference between “pretty” and “sexy”…and the other gryphoness had the latter in spades. “Um…is Gunther here?” she asked to the bedroom-eyed gryphoness. Gwen looked at the gryphoness that opened the door. She was cute, earnest, and if she’d been human, probably would have had what they called the “girl next door” look. Honestly, Gwen thought the new arrival was better off than her; she had to put up with all the gryphons hitting on her because she always looked ready for mating. But hopefully, that would work in this case. If this girl was as hot for Gunth…er, Bob as vice versa, it could come in handy, Gwen thought. Besides, I only want the best for him. Leaning against the doorframe, Gwen cooed, “So, what’s your plans for him?” “Excuse me, but…who are you?” “What does it matter who I am?” Gwen deliberately lifted her right wing, moving it over so that it was just right below the other gryphoness’ head. It was a territorial move, the kind one made when challenging another for the right to a male – though that sort of thing was now a relic of the past, the gestures were still considered very forward and threatening. “I just want to hear what you have to say.” “I don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” the other gryphon commented, swatting away Gwen’s challenging wing with a sweep of her tail. She’s smart; using her claws would only leave her open. Again, no fisticuffs were going to come of this, but a little challenge between gryphonesses could be a ritualized thing in many ways. “I’m making it mine,” Gwen replied. “You see, I’ve got this nice thing going…and I want things to go down exactly as I expect it to, savvy? I don’t need some little miss innocent getting in my way.” Please take the bait please take the bait please take the bait, Gwen said silently. If it worked out, the other gryphoness would openly challenge Gwen by saying how she felt about Gu…Bob…and then Gwen could reveal the truth. It would be a great way for them to then work on getting that little match solved. Instead, Giselle’s hackles flared and she gasped, “Well, if that’s how it’s going to be, that creep! And here I thought he liked me!” That was not the response Gwen expected. “I, uh….” Giselle leaned forward and prodded the younger gryphoness in the chest. “Now you pass this message on to him for me: tell him that if he ever thinks I’m giving him the time of day again, he’s got another thing coming!” “Look, I think you’ve….” Gwen began before she realized that the other gryphon wasn’t listening. Gwen had successfully pushed her buttons…and they were all the wrong ones. “He’s all yours – I don’t know why I even believed he….” Her eyes started watering, the heartbreak clear enough on her face to make Gwen’s guilt levels spike. Nothing else to say, Giselle turned and ran; Gwen wanted to follow, but she felt the drugs suddenly kicking in and knew it was too late. She’d just made things infinitely worse for her brother. When he finally returned, she was lying down on his couch, looking morose. “Got you exactly what you wanted, even with extra mustard like you prefer,” he said, handing her a wrapped sandwich. When she didn’t grab for it, Bob looked at Gwen worriedly. “Hey, are you feeling well?” “No,” she said, “not at all. It’s one of those…gryphoness sorta things.” Like a little sister that tries to make your relationship better and does the exact opposite. That kind of thing. “So he’s got a girl on the side and gunning for you? What a jerk,” Linda said over the phone, sympathizing with her friend. “All this time…I always thought that Gunther was a sweet and kind guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean…that other gryphoness. She was just….” Giselle broke into a sob again, wisely pulling over her car as her vision was blinded by tears. “I…just….” “Does Gavin know about any of this?” Despite her hurt feelings, Giselle said, “Thankfully not – he’d kill Gunther in a heartbeat.” “Then maybe that’s what needs to happen,” Linda suggested. Giselle sighed. “No; Gunther might be a two-timer, but he doesn’t deserve to be hospitalized. Besides, he might just sue Gavin, which would make things worse, and in any case, Gavin’s in LA for the week.” “Well, you need to get out of your blue funk, girl!” her friend said. “Tell you what: you free for dinner tonight? Let’s go to the Refinery. We’re always talking about going there, right?” “Sure, sounds like a plan. Meet you there at eight. Now, I’m just going to go home for the rest of the day and cry my eyes out. Talk to you later.” Giselle ended the call and just buried her face in her claws, crying for her now shattered heart. When Guido told Gertrude tonight that he was taking her to the Refinery, the gryphoness matron was practically giddy with excitement. Nestled in Pioneer Square, the famed restaurant was built when a famous inventor from Equestria built an experimental power station in the center of town to see if she could tap a ley line to provide free energy to the Seattle metro area; when the whole plan fell through – mainly due to the fact that the ley line had been shifted westward about ten miles as a result of an earthquake three years prior – the inventor and her husband decided to make the best of it and turned the place into a restaurant, as the facility’s unique geography made it oddly perfect for it. Since then the Refinery had become a hit and the gray pegasus or her rock star husband could be seen there whenever they were in town. Needless to say this only further bolstered the Refinery’s success, making it a choice location for nightlife in the town. Guido, dressed in a suit, tugged at his collar. He hated suits, but his cub and chick told him to wear one; Gertrude needed no prodding to put on her finest dress. The limo sent to their home to pick them up had been supremely awesome, as had been the flowers. Guido looked at his wife and the mother of his hatchlings; she’d never looked lovelier. Gertrude blushed. “You didn’t have to do this, Guido, dear,” she said, the awe clear in her voice. “I didn’t,” he said with a smile as he ushered her to the door. “This was the kids’ idea.” Offering his arm, both gryphons walked towards the Maitre D, who had already been told to expect them and walked them up to a secluded table by the giant plasma ball simulating the power that was once supposed to course through the steel-and-polycarbon facility. “Hi, Mom. Happy Birthday,” Gwen said, as she rose nervously from the seat, going over to hug her parents. She was dressed in a tuxedo shirt and black jeans, which was normal for her; the nervousness was not. “Hello, Gwenny,” Gertrude said, holding her daughter. “Is something wrong, dear? And where is your brother?” In response, the younger gryphoness pointed to the figure walking towards them, and both Gertrude and Guido gasped gravely. Walking towards them, carrying a Melchizedek-sized bottle of champagne with a few glasses. He was dressed in a purple satin pirate shirt, again, open-chested; a pair of tight leather pants and a plum pair of cavalier boots. He dyed his crestfeathers black while keeping it in the Gordon Grindclaws-style, while adding a dash of eyeliner to the whole ensemble. His family looked at him as if he were an oncoming train about to crash, and he smiled. “Momzers! Pops!” Setting down the bottle and glasses, he hugged his mother. “Happy Hatching Anniversary!” “Gunther?” she asked in shock. “What have you done to yourself?” He grinned as he shook a claw. “Nope, not Gunther anymore. Now it’s Bob. Well, Robert, technically. Legally changed my name to Robert Smith, though Bob rolls off the tongue better.” His family stood there, three gryphons in utter shock. “Oh, c’mon, folks! Why is it so hard to believe I wanted to turn my life around?” “Turn your life around or pretend to be someone you’re not?” Gwen accused. “You’re just pretending to be someone you’re not because you want to get with that gryphoness!” “What gryphoness?” Guido and Gertrude asked simultaneously. “Folks, what gryphoness?” he asked. “I don’t have a gryphoness in my life and if I did, I probably wouldn’t appreciate her!” The phrase on Bob’s mind had been that he wouldn’t appreciate her the way she deserved, a statement of how much said object of his affection would deserve to be adored. Unfortunately, that didn’t come out quite the way he wanted it. And then things got worse. “How was I so wrong about Gunther?” Giselle asked her friend. They’d come to the Refinery in order to get her mind off her just-fresh heartbreak, but instead, it was all she wanted to talk about. “I mean…how did I not know that he was not only dating someone else, but trying to play the field?” “Well, are you sure she’s not his sister or something? He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who does things like this.” “He would have mentioned one if he did,” Giselle said, wiping tears from her eyes. “Besides, no sister would have acted as territorial as that. Even jealous sisters act differently. She issued me a mating challenge, just like old times.” When the human looked completely clueless, Giselle explained, “It’s a traditional challenge issued by a gryphon or gryphoness trying to defend their mate from a potential suitor. In the old days, it was a prelude to a fight that usually ended in death. Nowadays? It’s just considered an extremely rude way of saying that someone’s taken.” She shook her head. “No, that girl couldn’t be his sister.” “Look, I’m sorry about all that, but there are other fish in the sea, Giselle. You’ll find someone. And I’m sure he’ll think the world of you,” Linda said, reassuringly. Giselle was about to respond when she suddenly heard a voice cry out, “Folks, what gryphoness? I don’t have a gryphoness in my life and if I did, I probably wouldn’t appreciate her!” She reacted as if shot, wheeling around behind her to see a familiar gryphoness standing there…and a freakishly-dressed gryphon there. This time, there was no doubt as to who it was. In a move that would have made her hunter gryphon ancestors proud, Giselle leapt from her table, moving to Bob’s side in one move. “Son…what do you mean you changed your name?” Gertrude reacted with shock. “Like I said, Mom, it’s a brand new me! Gunther is a thing of the past! Now there’s just me, Bob, and things are going to ch—” He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. “Yes, can I hel…Giselle?” She looked at him, her eyes crying and angry. “You led me on, you lying jerk!” she snarled. “And I though you and I could…but she…but you and she…but you…!” “Giselle? What are you doing here?” “What I should’ve done a long time ago, you sorry, two-timing, lying son of a—” That was the last thing Bob remembered of what she said. The next thing was that Giselle, for a gentle and soft gryphoness, had one hell of a right hook.