//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Solar Flare // Story: Celestia's Hangover // by Aryn240 //------------------------------// Celestia’s Hangover Chapter One: Solar Flare *** *** *** "Sister." The Sun Princess stirred in her sheets, wrinkling the white sheets of the Murphy Bed on which she rested, but did not awake. The Princess’s white coat was stained with a strange red liquid, and her hooves were stretched out all the way, pushing out from underneath the blankets and off the end of the bed. Her wings were folded tightly against her back. "Sister! Do not make me use the Royal Canterlot Voice!" The white alicorn answered the threat with a loud snore and rolled over, hugging a green body pillow to herself with a ferocity that bordered on madness. Luna sighed. "You asked for this, Sister!" The Princess of the Night drew in a deep breath, filling her alicorn-sized lungs. She lowered the tip of her muzzle to the ear of the unconscious alicorn sprawled on the bed. "SISTER!!!!!" The force of this one word nearly shook the walls of the room. “AHHH!” yelled Celestia, jarring herself awake. Immediately, her wings snapped open to their full-sail diameter like a hoof-held fan, knocking over the lamp on the bed-stand. It fell to the floor, shattering upon impact. Luna shook her head at her sister."That was a particularly nice Reapers lamp. I do hope you're happy!" Through her foggy mind, Princess Celestia interpreted the words as if they were being yelled through a wall, amplified times ten. Muffled, but as loud as a thunderbolt. Each and every one of Luna's words pierced through her ears and into her skull. She finally found her voice. "Luna, for my sake, will you stop yelling!" The Princess rolled over, now facing upwards. She struggled to think, and realized she was drawing a total blank on the previous evening. Hesitantly, she asked, "What happened last night?" Luna took one last look at the lamp, then disregarded it and smiled her signature mischievous smile. "Well, you..." "OHMYHOLYBUCKTHATHURTS!" interrupted Celestia. She held her hooves to her head immediately, as if the yell had injured her more. "What? What is it, sister?" "My head! My bucking head! It feels like that stallion-servant stuck his horn in my motherbucking EYES!” It was true. Celestia's eyes felt like they were being gouged out by red-hot needles, and her ears hurt like hell. The light burned her irises to crisps. There was a jackhammer going to work on her head. She buried her face back into the body pillow. Luna blinked thoughtfully. "You mean Pokey Pierce?" The Princess of the Sun groaned, talking quietly now, to spare her headache. Her voice was muffled underneath the pillow. "Nevermind about that, Sister. Ugh... Did I do anything... you know... Irrational? Last night?" "Take a look around us, Tia. What do you think?" "I don’t think I want to." Celestia, her eyes still closed and burning from the light, tried to burrow deeper under the pillow. Luna was insistent. "Look." Celestia, steeling herself for the oncoming pain, ripped the minty-colored body pillow off of her head with her magic. She was still laying face-down, and even the light coming through her closed eyelids was painful. "Ready?" asked Princess Luna. "I DON'T WANT TO!" "Celestia, as Princess, it is your..." ''Okay, OKAY!" The Sun Goddess rolled over, and opened her eyes. The effect was immediate. The light streaming from above and to the side of her instantly blinded her, and Pokey Pierce once again raped her eye socket with his horn. Repeatedly. "Aaah! That's way brighter than anypony should ever need in this goddamn castle!" complained the eldest Princess. "Turn the damn lights down!" "This is coming from the Princess of the Sun." "Luna..." The dark blue alicorn sighed. "Fine. But you’ll have to deal with it sooner or later." The castle, being of purely Gothic construction, was naturally bright, like the architectural nature of the Zebra people. While most of the castle was indeed of Zebraic construction, the different pony quarters were designed to be pony-built, upon request. The result was a sweeping, soaring Gothic castle with short and squat towers, making the entire building look sort of like a skinny, athletic pony with a fat head. A bit like Rainbow Dash, thought the Princess sourly. Out loud, she said again, "Turn down the lights!" Luna, fumbling with her magic, found the brass knob on the light and turned it counter-clockwise, tightening the valve. The lantern flame dimmed, almost enough that neither Princess could see. "Ah, that's better. Not as much pain. Now, let's see about-" Princess Celestia stopped talking, dumbstruck. The quarters were completely trashed. Strewn about what she assumed was her pink, classy bedroom were empty bottles of Applejack D, Vodka-mixed stains, a good number of shot glasses, not to mention a sizable watermelon next to her head on the other pillow. Wait... Pillow? I don’t own any pillows. Or watermelons, for that matter! Confounded, Celestia looked up, at the ceiling, starting in surprise. "Oh, buck." "Tia, I wish that at one point you would try and stop your foulmouthed-" The white alicorn winced at her sharp voice. "No, Sister. Above us!" She pointed a hoof at the ceiling, and marveled at how dirty her white foreleg had become in the last twelve hours. On the ceiling was painted a large, black bass clef symbol. Luna shook her head. “Did you think this was your bedroom? This is the music wing. You are on the opposite side of the castle from your bedroom.” Celestia continued to stare at the ceiling. “Luna?” “Yes, beloved sister?” Celestia cleared her throat, and failed at keeping her voice low. "Again, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?!" Luna thought for a moment. She hadn't exactly been present for the entire evening, but she had seen, and heard, a couple of choice things that might help. She opened her mouth to speak. "You-" She cut herself off, thinking. “She did banish me to the moon..."  The Princess of the Night really did want to tell her favorite sister everything she knew, but something kept nagging at her. Some small doubt, in the back of her mind. "It would be quite fun to see her struggle. I haven't had a good guessing game in years, and I'm fairly sure that no pony else remembers last night. I’m the only one... and if I keep quiet, who would know?" "Sister? Are you all right?" inquired Celestia, rubbing her head with her hoof. "Yes, I'm fine, Sister. Just, ah, sorting out the events in my head." Luna reached her decision. Pretending to think, she rested her head on her hoof and made a puzzled face. After a couple seconds, she threw up her hooves. “I simply can't remember! I drank my share of Applejack D, too!" A smile threatened to break her lips, but the Princess held her straight face.   "Crap," said Celestia, closing her eyes again. "I'm gonna have to find it out myself.” She mused for a minute. C'mon, Tia. Pull yourself together. You only have ten hours till the Gala! Steeling herself, she opened her eyes again, preparing herself for the renewed pain that would inevitably come afterwards. "Well, BUCK IT AGAIN!" cried Celestia. She glanced around, but she was alone again. Luna was nowhere to be seen, and her eyes still hurt like hell. *** *** *** "Luna, where are you?" cried the Princess, now starting to get worried. She was vehemently rubbing her eyes with her hooves, and attempting to stand. What are you up to, Sister...? Celestia swung her hooves over the side of the Murphy bed, and planted her them firmly on the floor. Her balance was a bit wobbly, but besides the splitting headache, she seemed okay. "Right here, Tia! And I'll be with you every step of the way!" Luna's voice replied, the white-hot tendrils of noise pushing themselves through the Sun Godess's ears and into her already injured head. She looked around frantically, trying to ignore the pain that threatened to split her mind open every time she moved, but the Princess of the Night was nowhere to be seen. "Luna, this is no time for your silly games. Show yourself!" cried Celestia. Luna ignored this. "I would recommend starting with a nice, long bath. You smell like a Hoofball player after a hot game!” The older alicorn stopped to smell herself. Oh, dear. No matter how you put it, Celestia did need a bath. Perhaps a nice, hot soak would help clear her senses. "Luna, your tricks may have some logic after all! Who would have guessed?" replied Celestia, her voice radiating mock surprise. The alicorn looked around the unfamiliar room, and spotted what she hoped was the bathroom door on the far left side. She picked her way through assorted junk and broken glass, making her way to the restroom. I think I’ll just splash some water on my face, to start. See how badly that much hurts. Opening the door, she walked inside. Finding it in suitable condition, she reached out with her magic, and turned on the chrome faucet above the sink, watching as the magically heated liquid came pouring out with a splash. Waiting for the water to heat, she walked over to the toilet and found it covered in wet toilet paper. Disgusted, she opened the shower curtain. "AAAH! What in my name are you doing in here!" Her yell awoke the pony sprawled on the bottom of the tub. The white unicorn opened her eyes blearily, and recognized the alicorn standing above her. She raised the broken bottle of Applejack D she was holding in an odd, formal salute. "At your service, m'lady!" mocked Vinyl Scratch. *** *** *** Cade YYZ Authors Note: First of all, I would like to give thanks to everyone else who helped make this happen, such as: Delvius, Mark Garg Von Herb, Stringtheory, Baldroug666, and Tim the Enchanter. This could not be a reality without you guys! On another note, as you know, there are three different authors to this, Aryn, me, and Goldey. The way this works is that me and Aryn trade off writing each chapter, and then the other edits the living crap out of it, so we both contribute to all of the chapters. Goldey is kind of our Protogë. Thanks for reading through this excessively long authors' note! -Cade YYZ and the Team PS: Spot the Pop Culture reference for an OC!