//------------------------------// // Giving Up, Giving In // Story: Paranoia // by Valorousspectre //------------------------------// Chapter thirteen: Giving Up, Giving In. Beep…Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep…. Where am I..? Who am I..? Why can’t I remember…? ~*~ “Ah think he’s wakin’ up girls. He’s stirrin’.” That voice… “Perhaps you’re right Applejack. I think the way he healed Fluttershy with magic took a little more out of him than we thought. Nurses needed a blood transfusion.” Twilight… Sparkle… “Are you saying he was hurt darling?” Rarity… “No, I’m saying he used his own blood to heal Fluttershy. He used Dark Magic, It’s intense on most things and this one is potentially fatal it seems.” Dark Magic… Fluttershy..? “He’s gunna be okay right? Coz I totally owe him for beating me!” Rainbow Dash… I beat her in a race a few months passed… “Yeah! And I TOTALLY need to throw him a ‘thank you for saving Fluttershy and driving away the manticores’ Party!” Pinkie Pie… As if on cue, there came a laugh and the voice of Rainbow Dash. “Pinkie, you so random!” What is that beeping noise..? “Girls. Visiting hours are over now. I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave. You can come back tomorrow if you like, but now I need you to vacate the wards. Mister Macintosh and Mister uh… Demonheart? Need their rest.” He heard a few groans and a few scattered goodbyes to both himself and to… Big Mac..? Guilt welled up inside him and he finally cracked open his eyes. It was bright, white light. White ceiling. White walls. Hospital… of course… He turned his head to the right and was met by a white wall. He turned the other way and his heart leapt into his throat, feeling guilt threatening to overwhelm him as he met the level gaze of Big Macintosh. “Yer here too huh?” Demon nodded wordlessly. The big workhorse whuffed, amused. “Well Ah’ll be. First Ah get attacked by some mysterious creature, an’ now ya get… well, Ain’t knowin’ what happened to ya. Needed blood though.” Remembering the beeping sound, Demon glanced at the equipment he was hooked up to. Among them, true to Big Mac’s word, was a bag of rich red blood being pumped slowly into him and a heart monitor, which is what was making that infernal beeping sound. “Big Mac… I.. I’m sorry…” Big Mac shrugged. “What for? Ya didn’t do nothin’ wrong.” “I.. I attacked you in the barn…” Big Mac shook his head. “Nah, ya didn’t.” “Yes I-“ “Ya didn’ do squat an’ that’s that.” Demon winced at the familiar tone and nodded. “Yes sir…” “Ah, however, am sorry. Ah let mah feelin’s fer Miss Fluttershy get the best of me. Guess Ah never really got over her.” Demonheart felt a faint smile tug at his face at the apology. “It’s alright… I don’t think you need to worry about that anymore. I don’t think she wants anything to do with me…” “Don’tcha tell me ya givin’ up on her? Why?” Demon squirmed uncomfortably. “You… sorta had to be there.” “Ah’ve got all night, ya might as well tell the tale.” Demonheart sighed. Big Mac was right, he had nothing better to do. And so he began his tale, starting from just after his flight from the barn, tactfully leaving out Skuld’s more scathing remarks concerning Fluttershy for his own good as well as what was left of Skuld’s health. ~*~ Angel banged furiously on Fluttershy’s door. It had been two, maybe three days since the incident and she hadn’t come out of her room except to do her chores and to eat, then she’d bolt back into the tiny space and shut and lock the door. Angel had tried reason, had tried bribery and had even resorted to his devilishly good looks and obvious way with the ladies, but to no avail. Now he was willing to quit the subtle coercion tactics and tell her upfront how silly she was being. Problem was, she was ignoring his knocking. Inside the room, Fluttershy lay quivering under the covers of her small bed. The bed she’d once (inadvertently) shared with Demonheart. To be quite frank, he terrified her now. She hadn’t been so scared when she’d known him as the kind, soft spoken and gentle Pegasus she’d come to know so well. But to find out it was all a lie (in her mind at least)? That had shattered her tenuous trust in him and now? The sheer, animalistic violence in which he had dispatched Skuld quite frankly petrified Fluttershy. The fact he did it so casually and seemed to enjoy it freaked her out even more. Then healing her? Forcibly? With ‘Dark Magic’ as Twilight had called it? Twilight. She’d come over soon after the little trial had ended and had, after forcing Fluttershy to agree, scanned her body for any adverse effects on her mind and body from this magic. She hadn’t detected anything and had left apparently happy with her lack of discovery. But what really kept her up at night? The sick feeling of the weird cloud of blood that had invaded her senses. It had healed her, yes, but it had felt so… sickening. She hadn’t only tasted it. She’d smelled it, felt it crawling over her skin, heard its passage. She shuddered at the memory and started crying into her pillow again. ~*~ Big Mac was quiet through the story that Demonheart laid out for him. Even during the time where Demonheart had thought he’d say that the Pegasus was crazy concerning Black Briar. At the end of the tale, Demonheart looked decidedly uncomfortable, awaiting Big Mac’s judgement. Big Macintosh was silent for a long time, mulling it all over. He wasn’t surprised at all about Demonheart’s revelation concerning the creature within him, or if he was he didn’t show it. Although considering what he’d been through when he’d threatened Demon, it wasn’t really surprising. After what seemed like years but could have been a matter of minutes for all Demon knew, Big Macintosh finally spoke. “Sounds like she owes ya her life.” Demon sighed. “She’s only got her life b…because I managed to force him back… Had he had just a few more seconds…” “But he didn’t,” Big Mac said forcefully, “Ya didn’t let him stay out. Ya used him for what was needed an’ then forced ‘im back. Then ya healed Fluttershy with his magic. Ain’t an ignoble cause if’n ya ask me.” “I got her into the trouble in the first place though.” “An’ ya got her out too. Ain’t that somethin’”? “I.. I suppose it might be…” “Well there ya go. Ah’m sure she’ll be fine once she gets over the shock.” Silence once more. For a long while there was silence. And then finally Demon spoke. “hey I.. I’m really sorry… Y..You know…” “It’s fine. Ah’m sorry too.” Demonheart smiled and burrowed down into his bed. “It’s alright…” And everything was alright between the pair once more. ~*~ Coincidentally, both Big Macintosh and Demonheart were released from the hospice on the same day almost two weeks later. Demonheart was still weak from his ordeal, if one could call it that, and Big Mac still had a slight limp that the doctor was certain was only temporary. Big Mac seemed to already be on the mend concerning it. The pair almost immediately went back to work, although there wasn’t really anything to do. The first winds of winter had set in, so there was only maybe half a field left to do really, since all that was left was stuff AJ wasn’t able to finish on her own, even with Applebloom’s enthusiastic help. It took an even longer time before Demonheart finally managed to convince himself (with rather blatant and very forceful encouragement from Big Macintosh) that talking to Fluttershy would be the best way to mend the rift that had grown between them. It was only really obvious when Demonheart went with Rarity and Shy to their weekly spa visit, but it was very obvious when they were together. They never spoke, couldn’t bring themselves to look at each other and always made some excuse to not be in each other’s company. And so, five weeks after being released on good health, Demonheart finally knocked rather tentatively on the door to Fluttershy’s cottage. There was quiet for quite some time before with a slight creak the lower half of the door swung open and Angel looked out. His face seemed to light up, then darken in a matter of a split second. “Where have you been?” Demonheart smiled at him. “Here and there. How is it with you?” The bunny shook his head. “Don’t change the subject. My pony is acting funny and I know you’re at the middle of it. I was there you know.” Demon winced. “How is Fluttershy?” Angel frowned at him thunderously. “She’s overreacting. She needs a firm paw, but she won’t let me in and won’t let me talk to her.” A stab of guilt lanced through the big stallion and he sighed. “I am sorry little one. I meant her no harm, I only meant to help.” Angel gesticulated wildly with his forepaws as he spoke. “You DID! She’s being silly! Your actions helped her, saved her even! She should not be crying! She should be thanking you! She’s being silly and she won’t listen to me!” Demon hesitated visibly before speaking once more in the chitter of bunnies, which was very uncharacteristic. The little bunny language coming from the massive Pegasus was weird. “Would you like me to talk to her little one?” “You can try. Maybe she’ll talk to you.” ~*~ Couple minutes later saw Demon standing in front of Fluttershy’s bedroom door. Angel had left Demon to his devices, so his confidence was flagging. With a nervous swallow, he knocked tentatively on the door. “Miss Fluttershy? A.. Are you alright?” Silence. No response came from the closed room. Demonheart frowned, concerned and knocked again. “Miss Fluttershy..?” Still no response. He sighed despondently. This is going to be a long day. ~*~ One week. One full week. And then another, and another, and another. Four weeks he returned to her doorstep, was let in by Angel, and sat by her door, waiting for her to come out. She must have had some sort of food source in there, unless she was flying out of the window to get out and buy food. Applejack and the others looked on sadly, knowing they couldn’t do anything. Fluttershy had stopped going to the spa altogether since Demon tried to talk to her. But even Demonheart didn’t have the patience to go on, nor the confidence. This day his confidence was sagging, falling to pieces around him. The longer he sat before the door, the harder it was to prevent himself crying. It’s no use… she doesn’t want to talk to me… She doesn’t want to talk to a freakish creature like me… Demon sighed sadly and looked at the door in despair. He’d been here for too long. Rising slowly, he made his way back down through the little cottage, waving off Angel in the process. Without so much as a goodbye, he left the cottage by the forest and headed off back to Sweet Apple Acres. My sorrow is too much for this place… ~*~ Dear Miss Fluttershy I do not know what I have done to disappoint you nor what I have done to alienate myself from you but whatever it is I swear to you I never meant to do so. I understand that my condition is not one for a normal pony and I apologise for that. If I may speak bluntly, I have never met a mare quite like yourself. You and your friends have altered my perceptions of my own kind substantially. For the longest time, I was not accepted anywhere. I was a castaway, a vagabond. I have lived in the caves with the dragons, the dens with the foxes. I have resided within the den of a great wooly bear and the nest of the great horned birds of the far east. Indeed, I have even been fortunate enough to run with the wild Diamond Dogs of the plains, hunting for gems with them as an honoured guest. Many would not see such a thing as a potential privilege, but I have seen many things. But my kind and the other ‘civilised’ cultures, Griffons, Changelings, Ponies, even the Sea Ponies shunned me, threw me out. Others threatened my life. I found Solace for a time with a small family of two Dum Kats. Young for their race. You have met one already, Paladin was the Kat you met all that time ago. His potential mate died from a disease for which I hadn’t had enough time to find a cure for. I am no scholar. But you? You and your friends… They’re special. You’re special. Kind, compassionate, stunningly beautiful and so eternally graceful. No, in all my years which, admittedly, isn’t that many, I have never met a more intriguing creature, compelling animal or great pony such as yourself. You are possibly the most important and memorable thing that has ever happened to me. You will be forever in my thoughts as I take flight to the West. Do not attempt to follow me, it is for the best. Perhaps Whitetail Woods will give me a home now that I have overstayed my welcome. And I am sorry for Spectre. But had I not let him out, I do not believe I could have stopped Skuld from killing you. Thinking of you always. Demonheart.