Luffy awoke to the sun glinting a little too directly into his eyes. He got up and rubbed the spots he was seeing away with a hoof. “Ah, that was a fun party.” His stomach gave a low rumble. “Better go get breakfast.” He walked toward the door, but his hoof was blocked from pushing on it by a purple glowing purple shield. “What’s this?” He tapped on the shield a few times. “Er, is this another thing like the purple one used? Oh well, I’m hungry.”
He stretched one of his hooves back and then sent it flying at the wall. “Gum-Gum Bull—” Luffy didn’t get to finish as his hoof met the wall and then he was sent flying back. He coughed a little before get back to his hooves. “Ow! That actually hurt.” He slowly advanced over to the shield again and tapped it. “I don’t get it, I broke the last one real easily. Maybe if I hit it again.”
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” a voice said behind Luffy. He turned to face Celestia, who had a stoic look on her face. “I’ve ordered my finest guard to erect a shield around this room. You are not getting out without my permission.”
“But being stuck in a room is boring,” Luffy complained as he wallowed on the ground in fake misery. “Can I at least get breakfast? I’m starving!”
“You ate enough food to supply an entire regiment of soldiers,” Celestia retorted. “But I shall grace you with a meal.” Her horn glowed and a covered plate popped into the room. “Enjoy your breakfast.” She was then gone in a flash.
“Well, at least she’s not a total jerk.” Luffy removed the lid, grimaced, and screamed. In front of him was a rather large plate of salad. “She’s pure evil!”
~~~
“Whu huh?” Applejack opened and eye at the sound of pure despair. She then noticed that Pinkie’s head was resting atop hers and that Pinkie was drooling on her hat. “Pinkie! Get off!”
“Huh?” Pinkie’s eyes fluttered open. “Oh, morning Applejack.” She glanced down and saw they were atop a three-by-three grid. “Hee! We must have fallen asleep after the fifty-second round.”
Applejack got up and stretched, her joints giving a few audible cracks. “Well, guess we might as well get breakfast.”
“Oh! Hope Luffy’s okay. He never came back.”
“Fella took down Discord. Ah’m sure he’s fine.” Applejack’s stomach grumbled a little. “C’mon, maybe they have a good fruit...”
~~~
“Salad!” Luffy cried out in misery. A comical stream of tears ran down his face. He bent down and ate all the greens in one gulp. “This is too cruel! She could have at least given me bread or something...”
He flopped on his back and instantly fell asleep again. He awoke sometime later and rubbed his stomach. “Darn it, I need food.” He looked at the shimmering shield that practically stuck to the room’s walls. “Maybe the pony making the shield could get me something.”
Luffy got up and went over to the door. “Hey shield pony, can I get some real food? The princess was a jerk and only gave me a salad.”
“First off,” came a stout voice from beyond the doors, “it’s not ‘shield pony’, it’s Shining Armor. Second, the Princess has ordered me to keep my post until preparations were done for your departure. Third, the Princess is not a j—”
“Shiny?” came another voice. “What in Equestria are you doing?”
“Twilight? Why are you here? You usually send me a message when you’re in town,” replied Armor.”
“The Princess didn’t tell you I was here? Oh, this is worse than I thought,” Twilight murmured. “But there’s more important things right now, like why you’re casting a shield spell on Luffy’s room.”
“You know this criminal?” Armor uttered in surprise.
“He’s not a criminal... okay technically he is, but he hasn’t done anything wrong here,” Twilight explained.
“Sorry Twily, orders are orders,” Armor droned.
“Well, it’s a good thing I asked the Princess to take him around the city then,” Twilight replied.
Luffy heard the sound of paper unfurling and then Armor spoke up again, “Very well.”
Suddenly, the shield around the door faded and it opened to reveal Twilight. “Um... morning?” she said with an awkward grin.
“Morning!” Luffy smiled. “Thanks for getting that shield thing down. I couldn’t break it like last time.”
“My brother is a master barrier caster. His defensive spells make mine look like foal’s play,” Twilight explained. “Luckily, I convinced the Princess it’d be more dangerous to coop you up.” She turned around and walked out the door again. “C’mon, we’ve all got some questions for you.”
“Okay, I’ll answer whatever you want,” Luffy replied as they walked. “Just give me bread, or cheese, or anything but a salad!”
“Um, okay.” Twilight looked to her left at a white stallion in a guard uniform. “Thank you brother.”
“I’m not one to disagree with the Princess.” Armor trotted over and gave Twilight a nuzzle. “Just be safe, okay?””
“Cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my e—ow!” Twilight yelped as she poked herself in the eye with her hoof.
Armor turned away from Twilight and walked past Luffy. He got close to Luffy and whispered, “Hurt her and you’ll regret it.”
Luffy creased his brow a little at Armor. “Hey! Why would I—”
“Luffy,” Twilight called a bit ahead of them, “are you coming?”
“Yeah.” Luffy trotted away from Armor, noting that the stallion kept glaring at him until he and Twilight rounded a corner. “What’s his problem?”
“Shiny is just worried about me...” Twilight looked at the ground. “We had some marital issues a while back.”
“He still seems like a jerk to me,” Luffy pouted. “The only pony that doesn’t seem like a jerk is that princess.”
“Celestia?” Twilight replied with confusion in her voice.
“No, the other one. She had meat!”
“Princess Luna?!” Oh no, I can’t encourage him to meet with her, not after all she went through. Think Twilight! What can distract him? “So... what’s this ‘Grand Line’ like?” she blurted out.
“It’s awesome!” Luffy grinned.
Oh, thank the stars. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.
“There’s so much cool stuff there!” Luffy continued. “Like sea trains, sky islands, long islands, gold, round rainbows...”
“Did somepony say rainbows?” Dash flew down from one of the adjacent corridors and joined the group.
“Yeah,” Luffy replied. “It was super cool! We saw it after candy fell on us.”
Pinkie popped out of nowhere and yelled, “Candy?! You didn’t tell me that part!”
“I got tired explaining everything,” Luffy sighed. “‘sides, Sanji makes better stuff anyway.”
“Ooh, that’s right, you have a super awesome karate chef,” Pinkie squealed with glee. “Your crew is so cool.”
“Oh yeah...” Dash flew in front of Luffy’s face. “It true one of your friends copies pegasi?”
“None of my friends fly,” Luffy replied.
Dash facehoofed. “I meant mess with the weather.”
“Oh yeah, Nami totally does that. There was even this one time Ussop made me and Chopper sneak into the bathroom and she shocked us for some reason. It really hurt.”
“Sounds like Derpy,” Dash chuckled.
Luffy felt a wing poke him in the side. He turned and saw Fluttershy standing close by and shaking a little. “Excuse me Mr. Pira— I mean Luffy! If it wasn’t too much trouble, c-could I mphl...”
Luffy tilted his head at her. “Huh?”
“I... I just wanted to ask about your mphh...” Fluttershy hid behind her mane and backed away a little.
“Anyway,” Luffy looked back up at Dash, “it’s funny to see a pegasus ‘cause I—”
“I wanted to ask you about your reindeer!” Fluttershy blurted out.
“Chopper?” Luffy tapped a hoof to his chin. “Um, he’s a reindeer.”
“Oh, that’s so fascinating,” Fluttershy cued. “It’s too warm for them in Ponyville, but I’ve always wanted to see one. Are his horns really velvety?”
“Yeah, except when he beats people up,” Luffy grinned, “then they sometimes get really sharp... at least that’s what Ussop said.”
“Yes, from what Pinkie, Applejack, and Rarity said this Chopper is not like other reindeer,” Twilight spoke up. “He’s a reindeer-hummane, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Luffy answered, “he ate a devil fruit that made him part human... I think. Sometimes I wonder if half my crew was ever human to begin with! Shishishi!”
“Fascinating, and these fruits grant you your abilities as well?” Twilight asked.
Luffy stretched out a forehoof to scratch his flank. “I ate mine when I was little. Kinda sucks that I can’t swim though. Oh, and it tasted awful.”
“I see,” Twilight replied. “I wonder if these fruits have any relation to Poison Joke.” While she was wondering to herself, Luffy walked in a direction opposite of the group.
Pinkie bounce over next to Luffy. “Hey Luffy, where are you going?”
“I’m going to find the princess,” Luffy replied.
“Um... I thought that you thought that Princess Celestia was a meanie...” Pinkie’s eyes nervously darted left and right. “Even though she’s totally not.”
“Not her, the adventure one, Lupa!” Luffy smiled. “She had chicken!”
“Silly, you mean Luna,” Pinkie corrected.
“Oh.” Fluttershy grinned a little. “I didn’t know Princess Luna owned a chicken. I’d love to ask her about it.”
Luffy paused for a second and furrowed his brow. “I thought ponies can’t eat meat, but now you’re saying you want to eat chicken? Ooh, maybe she has other stuff!” Luffy drooled a little.
Fluttershy stood still for a second as Luffy’s words ran through her brain. Her pupils contracted into tiny dots, her her whole body shook, and finally her legs gave way and she crashed to the floor.
“Fluttershy!” All five of her friends yelled.
“Luffy!” Twilight looked away from her friends and over at Luffy, who was currently scratching his head in confusion. “Please don’t mention your eating habits in front of Fluttershy!”
“Oh, sorry,” Luffy nonchalantly replied.
Dash trotted over and chucked Fluttershy onto her back. “Haven’t seen her this bad since Nightmare Night,” she muttered.
“Anyway, why would Princess Luna be eating a chicken?” Pinkie pondered before her eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh! She did want to gobble us up!”
“Pinkie!” Twilight yelled at her friend.
“Oh right.” Pinkie blushed a little. “Sorry.”
“Ugh,” Twilight grunted, “let’s just get some food.” She opened a pair of doors that led to the dining area. “And no more talking about meat!”
~~~
Luffy laid on his side and patted his stomach. “Ah, that was good! Way better than a stupid salad.”
Twilight had pulled out a quill and some parchment and was taking down notes while keeping a close eye on Luffy. “Subject appears to have expandable organs as well.”
“Yeah yeah, food was good,” Dash said, “can we get to exploring now? Castle’s nice and all, but I keep thinking I’m gonna run into something...” Her lips and her wings drooped a little. “... like the Gala.”
“Ooh! Let’s go find those giant candy canes they have during Hearth’s Warming!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Um, Pinkie, I think they, uh, only have that during Hearth’s Warming,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“Huh, guess you got me there,” Pinkie replied. She brought a hoof to her head and swirled it around a little. “I bet there’s other fun stuff to do! Oh, maybe there’s a good joke shop!”
“Well, why don’t we get going then?” Twilight asked. She then turned and looked at Luffy and his bloated stomach. “We might have to roll him.”
“Nah, I’m good.” Luffy took a breath and his stomach deflated. “Good food though.”
Twilight’s eye twitched a little. He’s a greater anomaly than Pinkie.
“So where are we going?” Luffy asked.
Twilight turned and began walking to the door. “I suggested to the Princess that it would be best to take you around the city for the day.”
“Sounds fun,” Luffy replied.
“Twilight,” Fluttershy spoke up, “what about Applejack and Rarity?”
Twilight’s face turned a little red. “Rarity’s a little... under the weather.”
“Oh dear, maybe I should... oof!” Fluttershy whimpered as she lightly bumped into a white pony with a blond mane.
“Who the Tartarus are you?” the pony demanded while glaring at Fluttershy.
“I...I...” Fluttershy stuttered.
“Out with it!” The pony placed a hoof on his head and sighed. “Ugh, to think Aunt Celestia would allow such whelps into the Castle.”
Fluttershy just backed away and whimpered a little. Pinkie trotted over and put a hoof on her back. “It’s okay,” Pinkie whispered.
Dash zoomed in front of the pony and gave him a stern look. “Hey! Don’t mess with Fluttershy!”
“Watch your tongue commoner! I’m Prince Blueblood and I can have imprisoned for contempt against the crown,” Blueblood retorted.
“You think I give a—” Dash was silenced by a purple aura clamping her mouth shut.
“My apologies, Prince Blueblood,” Twilight said with a bow. She then used her magic to pull Dash back. “It won’t happen again.”
“Be sure it doesn’t,” Blueblood huffed.
“Who’s this idiot?” Luffy asked. Everypony’s jaw dropped.
Blueblood somehow turned even whiter and fell back a few steps. Then the veins on his head started pulsating and he reared back. “You! How dare you! I’ll have you thrown in the dungeon forever!”
“You’re annoying,” Luffy bluntly stated.
Blueblood fell into shock again before the veins in his head somehow throbbed even more. “That does it! I shall deal with you myself!” His horn blazed and he started charging at Luffy.
Luffy mischievously grinned. “Oh, you want to fight? Sounds fun.” Neither he nor Blueblood noticed Twilight’s horn and Blueblood’s hoof glowing purple for a second.
“Have at yo—” Before he could finish, Blueblood tripped and flew past Luffy and into a pillar. “Ugh.”
“I think it’s time to leave,” Twilight quickly said.
“Aw,” Luffy frowned, “I wanted to fight him.”
“Luffy, Blueblood is a high ranking noble,” Twilight explained. “If you hurt him, you really would be a criminal in Equestria.”
“So?” Luffy nonchalantly replied. “He was being an idiot to your friend.”
Twilight looked down at the ground. “It’s hard to explain. Fluttershy is my friend, but messing with Blueblood would hurt all of us.”
Luffy scowled a little. “He’s just like those jerks on Shabondy.”
“What?” Pinkie exclaimed. “Blueblood may be a meanie, but he’d never hurt somepony like that... that reminds me, are those dragon popple actual dragons?”
“No, they’re just jerks. They deserved getting punched. It’d be cool to see a real dragon though,” Luffy wondered aloud.
“Yes, yes, that’s all good,” Twilight nervously said. She glanced down at Blueblood’s still-unconscious form. “Why don’t you tell it to us while we’re exploring the city?” She then turned around and headed for the Castle gates.
“Okay,” Luffy smiled. He glanced back at Fluttershy. “Oi, you better?”
“Oh yes,” Fluttershy mumbled, “I’m much better.” She wiped a small tear from her eye. “Thanks.”
Dash flew over and whispered in Luffy’s ear, “Don’t worry, I’d have given him a good smack too.”
“I like you blue pegasus,” Luffy grinned.
“Oh for crying out loud,” Dash replied. “Is it really that hard to remember my name? Rainbow Dash! It’s in my mane for pete’s sake.”
Twilight silently consoled herself. Just show him around and expend his energy. I know that’s possible, even Pinkie gets tired eventually.
As the group set out to explore Canterlot, they failed to notice the pair of gleaming eyes that watched them from the shadows.
~~~
“I’m never eating peanut brittle again,” Twilight complained. Her mane was currently affixed to her head and neck with little bits of sugar and peanuts attached to it. The rest of the group wasn’t faring much better as they made their way back into the Castle.
“Well, I thought it was yummy!” Pinkie exclaimed. Black splotches of ink dotted her coat and mane. She looked like a bizarre mix between a pony and a dalmatian.“Although the candy store owner seemed a little mad at us.”
“And the tailor, and the librarian, and the deli owner, and...” Fluttershy mumbled to herself. A bit of ketchup dripped off her mane as she spoke. Nopony seemed to hear her as they crossed over the moat and into the Castle.
“I think it was fun outrunning them,” Dash enthusiastically stated. She was covered in ink, sugar, condiments and feathers that didn’t match her own.
“Yeah, that was pretty neat,” said Luffy. Somehow his only ailment was a few pieces of his coat being caramelized. “Hey just wondering, that one store owner was a donkey right?”
“The wig owner?” Pinkie asked. “Yep, he’s actually a good friend of another donkey I know back in Ponyville.”
“So do all animals talk here?” Luffy wondered.
“Oh no,” Fluttershy explained. “There are many little creatures that nopony can understand... sometimes I wish I could though.”
“Huh, wonder if I could ask a cow if it ta—” Twilight’s hoof silenced Luffy before he could traumatize Fluttershy again.
“Why don’t we all go back to our rooms and clean up before dinner?” Twilight asked with a nervous smile.
Luffy waved a hoof and noted that his coat made a pealing noise as he did so. “Well, being sticky is kinda gross.”
“Excellent,” replied Twilight. “We’ll also go check on our friends.”
“Got it.” Luffy left the group and ventured back to his own room.
Shining Armor was standing outside. “Ah, you’re back. No problems?”
“Nope,” Luffy smiled.
“Good, now please make your way to your room.”
“You know I’m gonna leave as soon as I’m clean for dinner right?”
“Orders are orders.”
Luffy just sighed and entered the room. The shield went up behind him. However, before he went to the bathroom, he noticed a large platter on his bed. “Huh?”
He trotted over and examined it. He frowned upon noticing it was just like the serving of salad he’d gotten this morning, just bigger. “Bet that Princess is just being a jerk again. Still maybe it’s something good this time.” He reached his head out and lifted the dome on the platter.
He instantly dropped the dome when he saw what was inside: a large cooked turkey. He mouth watered instantly. He tore off a leg and started eating it, tears of joy streaming down his face. “Aff fo haffy!” He exclaimed.
He quickly devoured the bird and fell asleep instantly afterwards. Twilight came to get him for dinner, but upon seeing him asleep left him be. Neither she nor Luffy noticed the eyes from earlier were also watching now. Their owner grinned a little.
~~~
Luffy was sweating. He pushed off the blankets he was sleeping off, but continued to feel hot. “Guh, where’s a fan?” he mumbled. His eyes half opened to see his room aflame. “Oh, room’s on fire, that’s why it’s hot.” He peacefully closed his eyes, only for them to nearly pop out a moment later. “Fire!”
“Yes, fire!” Celestia roared as she picked Luffy up by a leg with a ring of flames. “It’s what you deserve!” Her mane violently tossed itself around, burning various parts of the room.
“Ow! What’d I do?” Luffy asked as he tried to free himself from Celestia’s grip.
“Don’t you dare play innocent with me!” Celestia said, now employing the Royal Canterlot Voice. “What have you done to my sister?!"