Fluttershy sighed in relief as she finished polishing the kitchen countertop, wiping a bit of sweat off of her brow. Discord may have enjoyed leaving messes, but even this seemed a bit much...chocolate and maple syrup forming sticky puddles in the cracks?
She tossed the grime-coated rag into a bin with others and grabbed another clean one, looking around the kitchen. Spring Cleaning wasn't the easiest in their Chaosville home (and sadly, not too common as the years went by), but it always felt good to see rooms sparkle when she was done.
Discord hadn't been the biggest fan of all-out cleaning at first, but he was all for it when he realized it meant being able to create new messes. She was sure if she asked, he could clean the whole place with a snap of his claws...but he seemed to enjoy making games out of the tasks, from dancing with mops to chasing dust bunnies into cages. And she did enjoy finishing tasks with her hooves...even if it was a lot of work.
Now that she was thinking about it...where was Discord? She couldn't hear any signs of him cleaning—like other tasks, it wasn't something he was exactly quiet about. The last she had seen him, he was gathering up every scrap of fabric they might have worn or used in the past year into a large laundry basket.
Maybe he had those start washing themselves, and found something else to do, she thought. As for whether the 'something else' was actually cleaning...who knew?
Still, she had been cleaning the kitchen for a while...it seemed like a good time for a break. Boiling some tea and showing off the sparkling kitchen sounded appealing...but first, she had to find him. And so, she put the rag back into the bin, untied the handkerchief in her mane and the apron around her torso, and began to search the house.
Fluttershy went through each room she could think of, checking for any sign of Discord. He wasn't in the library or the memory museum. There was no sign of him when she peered out the window. There weren't even any of his new telltale messes left behind in any of the arts and crafts rooms, though a few old ones were left uncleaned.
She sighed as she entered the living room, taking a seat on the couch. If she called for Discord, she was confident he would come, but it seemed rude to summon him for something trivial if he was in the middle of something else. And so, she closed her eyes and tried to think of where else he might be.
...it would be so much easier to think without that annoying humming sound in the background, though.
That thought made her pause. There normally wasn't a humming sound like that in the living room...usually, it was either quiet, filled with laughter and voices, or with the sound of one of their records. Something out of the ordinary like that could be a clue as to what Discord was doing!
With a bit of relief, she hopped off of the couch, keeping her ears perked up as she began to follow the sound.
She eventually found a small room, tucked not far away from the living room. There wasn't much inside—just three washing machines, with the doors facing her, and five dryers, with their lids on top. One of the washing machines was humming and shaking, and a very large laundry basket was sitting on top.
So Discord had clearly been here...but there was no sign of him. Maybe he'll come back once the washing machine finishes its cycle, she thought. If the clothes don't decide to move themselves into the dryer... She sighed, brushing a strand out of her mane out of her face.
The washing machine hummed for a few more seconds...and then suddenly stopped with a buzzing sound. She paused, staring at it for a few moments and wondering if she should mess with it or continue waiting.
Then, there was a tapping sound on the machine's door that made her jump with a squeak. Her heat pounded, and the tapping continued, almost...expectantly. And so, she took a deep breath, stepped forward, and grabbed onto the door's handle.
It was sealed fairly tightly, but with a few good tugs, she managed to open it with a pop. As soon as the door was open, a small waterfall of sudsy water poured out onto the floor...along with a very long, and very soaked, draconequus.
"Discord?" she said, staring at her husband. He was lying limply on the floor, thoroughly soaked. Water and suds poured off of him as he just...laid there. "Are you...alright?"
Slowly, he raised his claw and gave her a thumbs-up. Water poured from his hand and down his arm, creating a tinier puddle next to the large one he was sitting in. "...never better," he said. "Just a little..."
He started coughing, and she stepped forward. But then, a stream of bubbles exited his mouth and floated towards the ceiling, and he cleared his throat. "Just a little stunned," he finished, snorting a smaller bubble out of his nose. "Whew. I was expecting it to be a bit intense, but that was something else!"
"What were you doing inside the washing machine?" she asked. He started to stand up on his back legs, so she held out a hoof to support him.
"Would you believe that I was training for a hurricane?" he said. "You know...getting ready to handle being tossed around like a ragdoll, getting soaked to the bone, feeling so dizzy I can't stand?" His legs wobbled underneath him, and he fell back onto his stomach.
She moved forward to help him back up, but he shook his head, curling around himself a bit and looking content to stay on the ground for a while. She rose an eyebrow. "I don't think you mentioned a hurricane happening anytime soon..."
"Because, well...there isn't one," he said. "I'm...getting ready just in case!" He glanced away, his tail wringing itself out. "And...it did sound a little fun."
"Fun?" she said. "To go missing, put yourself in a machine I'm...a little surprised you fit in, filled with water and damp clothes?"
"It...seemed like a good idea at the time," he said. "I couldn't really think of anything else to do, and it's not like anything as simple and domestic as this could actually hurt me." His tail thumped against the side of the machine.
"Still, I was...I was worried sick!" she said. "You disappeared all of a sudden with that load of laundry, and I couldn't find you..."
His ears flicked back, spraying droplets of water everywhere. "Ah...I meant to leave a note, but..." Sticking out his tongue, he began to dig through a pocket in his fur coat. Eventually, with a cry of success, he pulled something out—a soaked wad of paper, with trails of smudged ink dripping along it.
"...I seem to have been bested by the 'forgot to leave a note' and 'important item gone through the wash' cliches," he said with a sigh, unfurling the paper. The soggy material just ripped apart in his hands. "Whoops."
She stared at the wad of paper for a few moments...and then sighed, shaking her head. "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked. "Do you want me to grab you anything, like a towel or a hot drink?"
He shook his head and shakily stood up on four legs. She took a few quick steps back just before he shook himself like a dog, spraying droplets of water everywhere. A few still managed to hit her, but she managed to be mostly unscathed.
"I think I'm good," he said, wobbling a bit but still remaining steady on four legs. He paused for a moment, and his eyes gleamed with an idea. "Although...there is one thing I could use a little bit of assistance with..."
"Yes?" she asked, brushing a few bubbles out of her coat.
"...you could help me into the dryer," he said with a hopeful grin.
She blinked a few times. "But...after all of that, ah...excitement, are you sure you wouldn't rather dry off with a towel?"
He stroked his beard in thought, wringing a bit of water out of it. "Well...honestly, I'm so soaked that it could take a dozen towels to get me dry again," he said. "And...most of our towels are as wet as I am, right now." His tail feathers pointed to the inside of the washing machine, where several fabric articles were stuck to the sides.
"I suppose another option would be hanging me on a clothesline with all of these," he said, peeling some of the towels out of the machine and tossing them into the dryer. A few made it inside the machine, but a couple caught on the edge and dangled over the side, only partway in the hole.
"Wouldn't that be...uncomfortable?" she asked. Just imagining dangling above the ground with clothespins pinching into her hooves made her shiver. "Though...tumbling in the dryer also sound pretty uncomfortable..."
"Maybe," he said. "But all the tumbling and spinning is exhilarating! But...being hung out to dry would be pretty boring. I think I'll stick with these exciting machines." He smiled and patted the side of the dryer.
"And...what do you need me for?" she asked.
"Well..." He grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "My limbs still feel like noodles from the washing machine. If you could help me climb inside, and get the rest of these clothes and towels in..."
She thought about it, biting her lip. It still didn't seem very safe... "I'll...think about it while I load the dryer," she said slowly. She plucked a few clothes out of the washing machine, flying up and dropping them into the dryer.
"Alright," he said, grabbing a few more clothes and tossing them up to her. They kept working in synchrony—he got clothes out and tossed them to her, she dropped them into the dryer.
In what seemed like a short amount of time, all of the clothes had been moved. "Sooo?" Discord asked hopefully, his eyes becoming wide and shiny.
She frowned in thought. "...you'll be safe?"
"Safe, dry, and cozy," he said, nodding energetically. "Please?"
She hesitated a few more moments...and then slowly nodded. Discord's grin widened as she landed on the ground next to him. His tail whipped back and forth, and he leapt up towards the lid of the dryer.
He fell short, but he managed to grab onto the edge of the door, his feet scrambling against the side of the machine and leaving scratches in its pristine white side. Fluttershy put her forehooves under his back legs to support him.
"You're sure this is safe?" she asked again as she boosted him a little higher. His wings fluttered rapidly as he moved a little further.
"Oh, it's perfectly safe for me," he said, scrambling up and into the machine. He twirled around a bit, finally settling on a position where he was coiled around himself, his head poking out the top so he could talk to her. "If anyone else tries this, though...you have full permission to tackle them and force them to stop."
He chuckled, and she forced a few giggles. He reached down to place his paw on top of her mane, turning around to face the dials behind him. "Let's see here..." he muttered, twisting them all to his liking.
"Oh, one more thing," she said as he descended into the dryer. He watched her curiously as she dug through the detergents, finally emerging with a box of dryer sheets.
"This will keep you from getting too...static-y," she said, pulling one out and dropping it in next to him. "Plus they smell nice."
Discord smiled. "Your thoughtfulness is heartwarming and organ-meltingly gooey," he said. "I'd better start drying before your sweetness starts to make me melt." His head dropped inside, and he nestled himself in amongst the towels and socks.
"Could you do me a favor and press the start button, please?" he asked. "Once the lid is closed, I mean."
"Alright," she said, slowly closing the lid. She paused when it was just an inch open, and took one last peek inside. "Promise you'll be okay?"
He went through the motions of the Pinkie Promise. "I will be fine," he said. "If, for whatever reason, I am wrong, or even just uncomfortable or bored, I will immediately teleport out. That's a promise."
That helped her relax a bit. "Okay," she said slowly, lowering the lid. "See you in... an hour?"
"Yep," he said. "Thanks, love you!"
"Love you, too," she said, letting the lid drop closed. After a few moments of hesitation, she leaned forward and pressed the start button.
The dryer hummed the life, and soon, she heard tumbling and banging sounds from inside. It made her wince, but she told herself that he would be fine—he had assured her it was safe, he had his magic, and he had been through tougher things. And...he had promised to stop if he felt uncomfortable.
She still felt a bit worried, as she always did whenever he threw himself into danger for the fun of it, but his assurance and promise made her feel a bit better. With a sigh, she stood a little taller and headed back into the living room. Perhaps she could slow-boil a bit of tea for them to enjoy once he was done...maybe get the living room cleaned while she was at it...
"Wonderful tea, my dear," Discord said, sipping daintily out of his cup. Some patches of his fur were sticking up at odd angles, and his mane had puffed up. It wasn't as poofy as it had been at other times, but it was still enough that she had to suppress the urge to giggle.
"And the living room looks quite nice...did you leave anything for me to clean?" he asked, leaning against the arm of the couch and dropping a sugar cube into his cup.
She smiled, leaning back in her armchair. Normally she would have sat on the couch with him, but he had seemed a bit dizzy, and she figured he could use the space to spread out. "Don't worry," she said. "There's still plenty of rooms to clean."
"Ah, joy," he said. "Maybe I'll polish my spring collection after the room stops spinning..." She reached over to gently pat his head. He smiled and closed his eyes, gently leaning into her touch.
"...oh yeah," he said. "With me feeling dizzy, it's going to take a while for me to actually mess up the rooms you cleaned again." He grinned teasingly at her.
She paused...and then snickered. "Maybe I'll have to find other ways to wear you out during future Spring Cleanings," she teased.
"Hah! Good luck," he said. "I've had enough machine-washing and drying for...mm, maybe three years. You know I hate to repeat myself."
She smiled and nodded, pouring more tea into his cup. "At least you won't need a bath tonight..." she joked.
His grin widened. "Is that a challenge?" he said. "I can think of so many grimy corners to crawl through and clean..."
"Not if I beat you to them!" she said. "You should sit and rest for a while. Until the room stops spinning for you."
"...you'll still finish tea time with me, right?" he asked.
"Of course!" she said. As she set down the tea kettle, she leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.
He smelled strongly of detergent, with a hint of flowery dryer sheet. She felt him lean up into her kiss, and she saw him smile out of the corner of her eye.
"...I'd actually be a bit relieved if you didn't go through the washing machine again for a while," she murmured against his skin. No matter how clean he seemed, that didn't wash away the bit of worry she had felt.
"Don't worry," he said. "...I can find other ways to make you worry over me!"
"Discord!" she said, pulling back. He laughed and ruffled her mane. Even though he probably wasn't completely joking...she couldn't help but giggle a little, too.