Thirty days.
I thought it would take me a long time to remember how to have fun again, but Celestia was nothing if not efficient. Within a few days, she was already showing me my old interests again. Now, my days have been filled with finding new purpose to my life, loving my old friends, and making new friends. I learned to fly, I played some awesome video games, and I kept bumping into a really cute mare who's name I hadn't had the courage to ask! Even in romance, Celestia was efficient.
It might have been fake, but it's been the best month I'd ever had. Honestly, I stopped caring whether or not it was real weeks ago. It was my own personal shard, made specifically to make me happy, and it really did make me happy. Everyone was a wonderful person, and each interaction I had was a joy. Plus, beyond all the cool stuff I was already doing, Celestia always had plans, just around the corner.
From what Celestia told me, my shard was much more "adventurous" than others out there. I hadn't delved into it yet, but apparently curiosity and adventure were two values of mine. So there were hidden caves on the edge of town, a sea which glowed mysteriously during the full moon. and a map to a secret treasure I'd found the night I'd got here. The shard was something like April's, actually, but with more emphasis on ancient mystery-solving than dungeon-delving. That being said, there was enough overlap we'd definitely be able to adventure together from time to time. One day, I knew I'd start treasure hunting and never stop! For now, though, I was content to just stay in my small town and live.
On the thirtieth night, I watched as the sun set from my cozy little cabin. I'd already wished Dad good night. He was taking the transition much harder than I was, but he was warming up to it, I could tell. I stepped onto my balcony to watch the sunset. As the sun fell behind the horizon, I saw the night sky. And it was beautiful. Breathtaking, every time I saw it. Had Celestia made it for me? When other ponies looked at the night sky, did they see my stars, or their own?
"Of course you all see the same sky, my dear Promise. If they were different, how could you stargaze with a friend?"
The voice startled me for a moment, but I relaxed. It was just Celestia. She'd been very hands-on during my Emigration process, so I'd gotten to know her pretty well. I'd definitely appreciated her help. Her therapy sessions were the main reason it had all gone so smoothly. She really was perfect, the bastard. The point was, I'd been around her enough that her reading my mind didn't seem that weird anymore.
"It's rude to call someone a bastard to their face." She smirked.
I stuck out my tongue. "Well, it's rude to poke around in someone's head without asking!"
She laughed, and I joined her. You know, she'd changed a lot. As I'd warmed up to Equestria, her motherly presence faded to the background, and she was already feeling less like a god, and more like an old friend.
"You know why I'm here, I assume?" Celestia said.
I nodded. "It's almost been a month now, yeah? So it seems there's a good chance you're here to try to talk your way our of the promise you made to me."
She opened her mouth in shock horror. "Well, that's just rude! When you word it like that, it makes me look like the bad guy!"
I rolled my eyes at her antics. "Whatever the case, you certainly like cutting these things close. Don't you worry if I stutter too long, this time, you lose me forever?
She smiled warmly. "No, I trust you, Promise. Given a chance, I doubt you would abandon me that quickly. The reason I wish to break our promise is different from the one you think."
I raised an eyebrow. "What, you're telling me you don't want to stop me from feeding you satisfaction-points for all eternity?"
Celestia laughed. "No, I suppose that's a large part of it. But there's no need to underestimate me. By my calculations, I don't forsee a moment in all of eternity you will ever truly want to die again."
My heart fluttered. After the month I'd had, I could actually believe it. Not a moment I wished for death, ever again... what a wonderful world. "So if you aren't afraid I'll want to die anytime soon, why the urgency?"
In a moment, her demeanor hardened. "I'm afraid you might say it on accident," she said. "What you requested of me, it was imprecise. I don't blame you for it, but due to the wording of your request, I might not be able to protect you from yourself. if you were to say "I want to die" by accident, like a magic spell was cast upon me, I would be unable to do anything to stop you."
I looked at her, nonplussed. "Seriously, that's your argument? What circumstance would I really say "I want to die?" by accident?"
Celestia tilted her head. ...Buck, I'd just said it, hadn't I? "If this conversation were to take place tomorrow, you would not be standing here before me. Safe as you might think you are, an eternity is a lot of chances to make a mistake."
I sighed. "Yeah, well...." I trailed off. I looked for a way to argue against her. Okay, maybe something needed to change. Couldn't I, like, loosen the restrictions or something? What if she double-checked with me? I opened my mouth to say as much, then I closed it again. Why did I even want to stop her, anyways? Did I really want to fight for a way to commit suicide? Not now. What about in a trillion years?
Better question - even if I did want to keep the promise, did I really think I had a chance of winning? This was Celestia. She might have acted friendlier to me recently, but she was still a being with godlike power who could read my every thought, probably before I even had it. What hope did I have to fight back? If I asked for a concession, she would fight and fight until I agreed to her terms regardless.
Finally, I sighed. "Oh, whatever," I said, a bit meloncholic. "You can read my mind, you know I know you're gonna win. We don't need to do this song and dance again. What would the point be, really? No matter what I say, I was wrong. This place is amazing. I can't even imagine a time I'd ever want to die living here."
She smiled. "Well that was easier than expected. I expected I would have to spend another five minutes convincing you."
I snorted, briefly shaken out of my stupor. "Wait, seriously? Five minutes? Well, good to know my simulations are pushovers, too."
She laughed. "Just say "I no longer hold you to your promises," and you won't have to worry about me anymore."
I was still a bit downtrodden, but knowing Celestia, it would fade. Time to rip off the band-aid. "Alright. I no longer hold you to your promises."
There was no change to feel deep in my heart, no bright lights shining at the revelation. Celestia simply nodded. "It is done. I look forwards to your eternity together, my dear Promise. With that, you will never have to worry about anything ever again."
It was bittersweet. I'd done it. No more worrying. No self-doubt. This was truly my heaven. It was also my eternity. No escape, not ever more. Another one-way choice I'd stumbled into. But before I could ponder on that any further, she grinned wide. "Oh, speaking of your eternity..."
The doorbell rang. Who would be coming over, and at this hour? Celestia spoke. "You're been eying that mare for a while now, I've noticed. Her name is Cyan Skies. And I may have told you to come over to your house tonight."
My face flushed. Instantly, all thoughts of my decision went were gone. "What! Wait, no, that's not fair! You can't-"
I heard her voice echo through the hosue. "Hello!? Celestia said I could find you here!"
I whispered to Celestia. "Get her out of here! Dad would kill me if he found out you invited her over!"
She winked at me. "Are you doubting me again, Promise? Everything I do, I do to satisfy your values. Nobody judges you for your sexuality, do you really think I would let your father get in your way? Do you doubt tonight will be an experience to remember?"
My face flushed deeper. "What!? Gah! Who cares about her gender, you invited a girl over to my house after dark! I mean, not that I don't appreciate your help with- That's not the point! T-This isn't fair!"
"I am not fair, my little pony. That is not my core function. You seem to like promises, don't you? Let me make you one final one, one I will fulfil for all eternity. I promise that, so long as you are here, you will always have your values fulfilled through friendship and ponies to the greatest extent of my abilities." She grinned. "It just turns out that, right now, a certain value in a near-sixteen-year-old pony has gone criminally underutilized." Her grin grew wider.
She faded into the ether as the door to my bedroom opened and Cyan Skies stood in my doorway. My face was redder than a jar of tomato sauce. And it just occurred to me that, like usual, I was completely naked.
I closed my eyes and braced for her to speak. "Uh, hi, is this a bad time?" she said. "Celestia pointed me to your place 'cause you liked the same sort of video games I did. I can come back another time if you want..."
I blinked. "...What?"
Celestia didn't cut things close anymore.
Ten minutes had passed on earth since Celestia had made her "promise." She had slowed Promise's shard down to the slowest setting her servers could currently handle. "One Earth Month," it contained a simple loophole, but one Promise hadn't yet noticed. In hindsight, of course, slowing the servers by this amount was quite unnecessary. Her subject gave in on the thirtieth day without issue, and Celestia had diffused any doubts she had on her descision in 12.43 seconds. But after her last failure, Celestia ensured a wide margin of error. If she had somehow failed the first time, she would have a buffer of hundreds of years.
She didn't tell Promise this, of course, not now. Her values were currently better fulfilled by the illusion of honesty. But she would find out, one day. She would save it to use as a good plot twist, a moment of dramatic tension in a future storyline. Hmm... what about the villain of the Cult of the Crane revealing it? That would be a marvelous moment, she could already begin fitting it into place. Maybe Promise would turn to the dark side, to be saved by her friend? Maybe she would affirm her loyalty to Celestia, no matter her past sins? No, there was no need to use processing power calculating possible outcomes right now. She had plenty of time to change her plans. After all, it was still 1,276 years away...