Contentment, thy name is Bait.
Bait smiled to himself as he turned a page in the supermarket tabloid perched on his chest and reached into the bowl on the coffee table beside him for another almond. He knew neither were particularly healthy for him, but one had to treat oneself every once in awhile. No use spending all your time denying the simple pleasures. He nuzzled deep into his chair, pressing closer to the warmth radiating from his partner, who was dressed up in a cozy sweater and reading from her own comic. Outside, a gust of wind blew a flurry of snow through the streets of Ponyville, but in here, with the ovens still dimming, warmth and hominess oozed from every corner. The few customers they had seemed content to lounge around with mugs of cocoa up front, just happy to have someplace warm to sit for a little while.
In their loveseat in the back, Bait let out a long sigh and nuzzled ever closer to the pink body at his side, the warmth in the tiny back room even more comforting with her floofy pink mane to enjoy.
After a moment, Pinkie set her comic book aside, nuzzling to him with a contented sigh. “I’m gonna make myself a sandwich, want anything?” She whispered.
“Anchovy paste and shredded cheese sounds good about now.” He replied, nuzzling right back.
“With extra peanut butter?”
“Oh, you know me so well.” He chuckled, kissing her forehead. “Thankee, Pinkie.”
“Anytime, Baity,” she smiled, winking over her shoulder as she sauntered out of the tiny backroom, the door closing behind her.
“Whatta mare…” he sighed, reaching for another almond from the bowl, only to be stopped by something soft and fleshy. He froze. His pulse rising, he slowly lowered the tabloid to gaze up at what had stopped him.
A green, three-fingered hand remained bunched up in the bowl, blocking his hoof. Blinking, trying desperately to confirm that he could believe his eyes, Bait’s gaze followed the arm attached to the hand all the way up to an oversized head with a tiny mouth. Massive, segmented eyes blinked back at him. A long, gray arm led back to a naked body supporting the oversized head, all of it wrapped up in smooth, gray skin. After a few seconds, it hit: this was the old stereotypical picture. This was an alien looking right at him.
With a gasp, he rolled to the side, falling off the couch and onto the floor as the creature watched. His breath racing now, Bait stared, eyes wide. “A-a-an…an alien?” He managed to squeak.
The creature, in response, smiled, then messily closed its fist around a wad of nuts and shoved them in its mouth. Little specks of almonds flew everywhere as it chewed, mouth open, seemingly determined to get almond dust everywhere. After a few more messy handfuls, the creature gave a wide deliberate smile and whipped its hand up, upending the bowl and tossing almonds everywhere. The bowl itself came to a rattling stop next to Bait’s head. He didn’t even glance at it as the creature took two steps towards him on long, spindly legs, looming menacingly over him, that awful little smile still on its face as those black compound eyes stared right into his soul. Finally, a tiny light blinked on in the center of its forehead, and as it stared down at its changeling prey, a voice clicked on that sounded like a mixture between a cow’s moo and the sound pans made when they crashed together. Though its lips didn’t move, the words were loud and clear:
“Nobody will ever believe you.”
Then with a sound like a soap bubble popping, it blinked out of existence.
Bait laid there for a few seconds more, trying to process what just happened. Then, the full weight of what it had said hit him, and he came to a final, horrifying conclusion: the little green bastard was absolutely right.
“Son of a BITCH!” He shouted, hammering a balled-up hoof on the floorboards.
“Baity?” Pinkie shouted from the kitchen. “Is something wrong?”
He turned to her, opened his mouth, closed it, and finally pressed himself back up to his hooves with a grimace. “Nahh, just fell and knocked the nuts over, is all.”
“Oh, okay!” She sang cheerily.
With a sigh, Bait turned to start collecting the nuts spread out over the floor. “Someday, you little green assholes,” he muttered as he cleaned. “Someday…”