//------------------------------//
// Episode 22: The Kingdom is Broke! Dan Vs. The National Debt 
// Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) 
// by Barrobroadcaster 
//------------------------------//

Peach Creek

"Why? Why? WHYYYYYYYYYYYY??!!" Eddy screamed. He pounded against the windows of the Candy Store before finally, his energy exhausted itself and he slid down the glass surface in failure. "I can't believe... I just... can't... believe it."

"It was bound to happen sooner or later. With the current state of the economy, I'm actually surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"But how can they DO this Double-dee?!?!" Eddy exclaimed. "How could they... HOW COULD THEY RAISE THE PRICE OF JAWBREAKERS?!?!?!"

Jawbreakers, the sweet candy-coated orbs were constantly on the minds of Ed, Edd 'n Eddy. Sucking on one released sweet flavors that could last all day, filling one with delight and making the world seem sweeter, too. Unlike so many other candies or desserts which were gone after only a few bites, the jawbreaker lasted, enduring everything save the onslaught of saliva and tongue-lashing that came from sucking on one of the savory spheres. Truly, an under-appreciated delicacy.


"We had it... we had it," Eddy continued. "We actually came up with a scam that worked. We had it, we had it this time! This time it actually worked!"

After several days of planning, Eddy concocted a scheme in which he was able to swindle his fellow kids in the cul-de-sac out of quarters. Edd, or Double-Dee as he was usually called, was throwing away a high-powered electromagnet he'd used in a science project when Eddy came up with the idea to use it for a scam. He placed a coin on the ground and charged kids a nickel each for a chance to pick it up. The winner would get a dollar coin, the loser walked away empty-handed.

Called the Ed Super-Stuck Coin Challenge, Eddy first demonstrated to each sucker how 'easy' it was to pick up the coin. When each victim attempted, the magnet was activated, ensuring that no amount of strength they used lifted it. After exhausting themselves, Double-Dee offered them a drink which they called "Refredshments" for ten cents each. It consisted of a cup of water, instant coffee and powdered fruit punch. The mixture actually cost more to make than they were charging, but Double-Dee's good nature was to blame there.

When all was said and done, they had reached their goal: seventy-five cents. Jawbreakers were one quarter each, and they finally had enough for all three of them. Or, they did until the price of jawbreakers went up a dime.

"Dark days indeed, Eddy," Ed, the... more plain-spoken member of the group said. "The band-aid does not stretch as far as it used to, my friend. What was hair today is gone tomorrow, and we must save every toenail we find."

"...That was... insightful, Ed. I think," Edd replied. "The market price of refined cane sugar and artificial coloring is in constant flux, Eddy. And with the recent developments impacting international trade, we're lucky vendors weren't forced to compensate by increasing the unit price by a larger margin."

As usual, Eddy didn't fully understand what Double-Dee said, and he didn't care. He knew it meant there was nothing he could do to lower the cost of jawbreakers, and right now that's all he wanted. The owner of the candy store flipped the "OPEN" sign to "CLOSED," closing the door on Eddy's plans in more ways than one.

Defeated, Eddy sank into a puddle of himself, a puddle which Ed literally reached into to pull him up and out of.

"Cheer up, Eddy, for tomorrow will be a new onion!" Ed happily grabbed both of his friends and dragged them back home, only semi-involuntarily. In truth, neither were in the mood to protest.

Back at the cul-de-sac, Ed, Edd'n Eddy were relaxing at Ed's house. His sister was still out, probably with Jimmy. Eddy sat, arms folded and frowning on Ed's mangy sofa, which seemed to have far too much animal hair on it despite Ed's family not having any pets.

"Who's the dog bowl for, Ed?" Double-Dee asked. Rotating it, Edd saw the name ROLF etched into the side. "I'm... I'm very disturbed now."

Once again, Eddy didn't care. Unless there were coins in the sofa(which there weren't, only more hair), then he wasn't interested. Ed had been rooted around for it, moving Eddy around without changing his posture in the slightest, but annoying him all the more.

"Remote!" Ed exclaimed. He popped out of the couch, the remote popped out a second later. Somehow, it went straight up and down, landing on his mouth, and he turned on the t.v.

"Channel blocked? What does that mean?"

"TEEVEE IS BROKEN!"

"No, Ed," Double-Dee said, "It's just the one channel." He took the remote and changed it. "See?"

"TEEVEE IS FIXED!" Ed plopped himself on the couch, smiling in a state of zoned-out bliss.

"Why would they block a t.v channel? Doesn't more people watching mean more people see commercials?"

"That's true, Eddy, but some channels are pay-to-view. They usually have less commercials as a result, as well. People pay to see what they want instead of advertising," Edd explained.

A lightbulb went off for Eddy. "Hey... that's a great idea, Double-Dee! WE should get our own t.v. show!"

Edd raised an eyebrow. "Our own show, Eddy? How long do you think you could keep that up?"

"About ten years, probably! We could create our own channel... and you could even get your own spinoff! The Sock-Head Show," Eddy proclaimed, ruffling his friend's sack-like hat.

Double-Dee adjusted it with a bemused smile. "Well, before we start our next creative endeavor, why don't we just watch t.v?"

"Fine. Hey Lumpy, gimme the remote. I'm sure I can find something cheap enough that isn't blocked."

Ed spat the remote at Eddy. After wiping it off, thoroughly, Eddy surfed the channels. He was getting to the obscure ones, even past the foreign networks when he arrived on a very special show.

"Oooh! Stop it here!"

"Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship? What the heck kinda show is that?"

"Right now, it's one we can afford," Double-Dee said. "And I like it for the special effects and the voice cast."

"Uugggh," Eddy groaned.

"You did say you'd find something cheap."

Eddy shifted. "Yeah, and it doesn't get much cheaper than this."

"SHUSH! TURN UP VOLUME!!"





Golden Oakes Library

"Explain to me how we're broke again," Dan said.

"She's explained it three times already," Phoenix said. (And I didn't understand it either, but at least she's telling the truth.)

Twilight turned around. "I'll try to put it simply. The kingdom is heavily in debt, the treasury is depleted and our resources are exhausted. Even if we liquidate what assets we have, we'll still be millions of bits in debt.

"So our assets are in hot water," Dan said.

Twilight frowned at him. "You just wanted to make that joke. And no, that's not what I said. Our economy is in freefall; Equestria doesn't have enough money to support its own infrastructure."

"That's bad. I get it," Dan said. He leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the kitchen table. "So, what's the plan to fix it?"

"The summit in Trottingham is still going on for the next few days. There's a royal address scheduled for when they get back, so that probably means the princesses will make a statement then," Twilight said. In truth, that was one of the reasons the summit between the world's leaders had been made in the first place; they needed time to conduct an investigation, survey all the changes and bide time to prevent everyone from panicking. People liked when things were being discussed because it made it seem like there was a plan. Even when there wasn't.

"No problem. We'll wait 'til their back and see what they have to say about us being out of money," Dan stated. He got up from his chair. "I'm gonna go watch t.v." A light smile on his face, he exited the kitchen without another word.

And that made everyone suspicious. "What the fuee is wrong with my boyfriend? Spikey, I thought you said you fixed Dan."

Spike shrugged. "He's... well, at least he's better than he was. He was flipping out all over the place. Is it really such a weird thing that he's just kinda happy?"

"Yes," they all said at the exact same time.

"We're facing a global crisis. It's going to affect everypony. And Dan isn't really blaming anyone, blaming anything, and he's only threatened to burn down three businesses. What's worse is that he only called two of them," Chrys said.

Phoenix nodded. "That is a pretty slow day for Dan." (So far, he's just threatened the supermarket for the way they delivered things in the middle of the night and the cereal manufacturer. Usually, he's on his fourth or fifth threat of violence before noon.)

"He's earned a break," Twilight said. "And he's not the only one." Her eyes lowered to the table.

Chrys put a hoof on her purple shoulder. "Hey, chin up, Twily. At least you fixed your nightmare mode."

"Heh heh heh... yeah," she grinned bashfully. Several of her teeth were still distinctively sharper than the others.

"Ah, you uh... you still have the fangs, huh?"

"Yeaah... among some other... things going on," Twilight said.

So, Twilight had come full circle. Unspoken, it was acknowledged by all of them that she had gone from awkwardly adjusting  to being an alicorn and a princess to now awkwardly adjusting to having dark magic powers and having a nightmare transformation/alter ego. As could be expected, it was even harder this time. Becoming an alicorn was like going through puberty again for Twilight, and felt more natural as a result. Or, it felt natural eventually. Dark magic was something else altogether and more difficult to acclimate to as a result.

"I can help with that! I have fangs," Chrys said, pointing at her mouth. "They're easy once you get used to them. You just have to do more biting, not just chewing." She worked her jaw for emphasis.

"Th-thanks, I'll keep that in mind," Twilight said. At least she wasn't going through this adjustment alone. Becoming an alicorn overnight felt like it distanced her from her friends for a while. It had taken some time before things had felt regular again, but this time, it felt like she had some family members along for the journey.

"In the meantime, I'm gonna go have a chat with Dan. See what's up," Phoenix said. Little did he know that somepony else was already checking in on Dan, and that pony was Fluffle Puff.