Hello, it's been a while since you guys had last seen me, for me at least. Well, after Sombra fled from me I went to go check on the Moon family only to find their house had vanished. It struck me as odd, were they real? No, the clothes that were on me were still there. Did they fly away with their house? Now that is a higher chance of happening. I then searched the Crystal Empire to find the Moon family only to find the whole entire kingdom had vanished. So I then decided it was not my problem nor an issue I need to solve and/or fix. After that I began to carry out my assassinations, target after target, they were all nothing. So where am I now after a few hundred years? Well, I'm walking down the streets of Canterlot.
As I walked down the streets of Canterlot, all of the ponies looked at me with curiosity and slight fear, most that are old enough has heard my name, around the age group of seventy through one hundred, those who are young have not. The young ones looked at me with fear, though one pony simply could not keep its mouth shut.
"Hey mommy, doesn't that look like the thing that you keep under your bed?" I nearly busted out laughing. That single amount of laughter could've ruined my reputation of being the serious assassin. As I approached the palace that held the Princess of the Sun, I highly doubt she even raises the sun and moon. Some guards were placed at the entrance, I was at the gates to the palace. They looked at me warily.
"Are you the mercenary that Celestia is bringing?" The pony looked up at me and I looked at him with disgust. I do not like to be called a mercenary, it really makes me angry.
"It's assassin, and don't you forget it you expendable marketing device." I frowned as I pushed past him, I then opened the gate and the guard just looked at the other guards.
"I don't know what that means but that was so fucking cool how he said it!" The guard squealed, the other guards spoke up, both female.
"He is so dreamy!" They all then talk about my features, including my head, I just ignored them. I had never had a girlfriend, nor do I need one. As I made my way up the stairway to this place full of sunshine and rainbows. I opened up the doors to the Palace the guards looked at me with awe, the stallions looked at my muscles trying to gauge how strong I am. The female guards looked at me and fainted on sight due to my... Features. As I made my way to the throne room of Equestria's Goddess, I had noticed that all of the guards had fainted. I just knocked on the throne room door. Knock, knock, knock.
"Come in!" I hear a regal voice reply to my knocks, I open the door and the guards just stiffen up, looking at me. I could tell these were veteran guards by the way they stiffed up. They knew who I was, they knew the tales that were told across Equestria for hundreds of years. Celestia looked down at me with a warming smile, everything she does is warming, this isn't the first time I met her and it won't be the last. That much I know. I stopped a few meters before her throne.
"Welcome to Canterlot, this is the first time you've been here hasn't it? What do you think of it?" Celestia spoke to me, trying to engage in small talk.
"My time is precious Celestia, give me the contract and I'll be on my way to kill the target," I said to Celestia blankly, the guards looked at me in shock in the way I just talked to their leader.
"Oh, you never change Hit! Always the "Let's get down to business" guy, so how have you been after these couple of hundred years?" Celestia asked me, she was stalling, I knew it. I appeared before her, standing right on the steps to the throne, the step before the actual chair. I looked into her purple eyes, my red eyes peering down into her soul.
"I do not like to repeat myself, Celestia Sol. Give. Me. My. Contract." I growled, Celestia just laughed.
"Please, call me Tia." Celestia smiled at me, my frown turns into a full-on glare as I glare down into her soul.
"No." Can you tell that I do not prefer being here?
"Worth a shot, anyway here is the contract." Celestia hands me a piece of paper, it said the usual things like, alive or dead, and some other rules and obligations that I don't want to go into much detail about. I just looked up at Celestia.
"My target is Texas Red, a stallion with a big iron on his hip? A miniature crossbow? Alright, give me ink and quill." I ordered the Princess and she does as I say, I then sign it easily and I give the contract to her. "Bye." I then shot off through the roof, just to anger Celestia which I doubt will, but it will be a hassle to fix that roof so I am still victorious.
To the town of Appleloosa one fine day, I walked from the south side of town. I had a Cowboy outfit on with a Stetson hat to top it off, I also had a big iron on my hip that I got as an extra reward for killing an arms dealer, I also had a bag for Texas Red's head. I walked down the streets of Appleloosa, no one was talking to me. They were all so fearful of me, I looked around for a bar, I spot one and I head in. When I went in, all eyes were on me, they then go back to what they were doing before. I walked up to the bartender and took a seat, the bartender looks at me.
"What would ya like?" The bartender raised an eyebrow, I just looked up at him, my hat blocking him from seeing my eyes.
"I'll have a Bloody Mary please," I asked the bartender, he nods and reaches for the Bloody Mary up top, he reaches it and gets a glass to contain the liquid. The bartender fills the glass up and hands it to me, the bartender looked down at me.
"So where do ya come from partner? Ya don't seem tah be a local here." The bartender said leaning on the counter.
"I come from Pegazona, I'm here to capture a killer alive or dead. Well, not that it matters, I'm after the one they call Texas Red." I told the bartender when I uttered his name everyone gasped and turned to me.
"Ya do know the notches on his pistol are numbered one and nineteen more? The numbers represent the ponies he killed." The bartender informed me, I just look at him with the, "Does it look like I care?" look in my eye.
"And what of it?" I asked the bartender, the bartender sighed.
"It means he's very skilled, ya should leave before ya get yourself killed. Ah'd rather not have another young man die by his hooves." The bartender looks to his left, I do the same and it's a photograph of all the young people Texas Red had killed, to a unicorn to a damn Minotaur he had slain them all.
"Well, you better update that death chart, because I'm not backing down from a challenge." I turn around and I point at a scrawny-looking young man who was sweeping. "You."
"Me?" The scrawny boy points at himself I nodded.
"Yes you, get Texas Red ready for a dual, at 11:20 AM, pronto," I ordered the young man, he salutes and runs off. The bartender looks at me.
"Ye're just begging tah die."
It was now twenty past eleven when I walked in the street, I had seen Texas Red on the other side, lighting up a cigarette. I just look at him, he looked back at me, silence, pure silence.
"So what makes ya think ya can take my head?" Texas Red's gruff voice asked, I stood there looking at him. I didn't respond, "The silent type huh? Well, hopefully, we can change that when ah put my bolt through yer heart." There were forty feet between us, we both looked at each other... Trying to see who would make the first move. A tumbleweed passes us, the townspeople locked all of their doors, some hiding in trash cans, some in barrels, basically the same thing, and took a peek from their hiding spots. My red eyes met his brown, our hats put shadows over our eyes. Silence...
"Draw!" Texas Red shouted out reaching for his big iron, however, my swiftness was too swift for his quickness pulled out my big iron and shot him straight through the heart. Texas Red let out a gasp, looking down at his chest, seeing the crossbow bolt in his heart. He took a step back before grinning.
"N-nice shot... Kid." Texas Red then fell on his back, dead. Target eliminated. The people peeked out of their hiding spots, they saw Texas Red's dead body on the ground. I approached the outlaw, my footsteps being heard throughout the town. All were silent, I reached his corpse and cut off his head, I then put it in my bag. I then raise the bag up like a trophy.
"No one tango's with the Rango." I said in a southern country accent, everyone lets out a "Yeehaw" and they come racing towards me, coming to give me praise and what not. They all proceed to bury me with money, looks like I'm going home with more money this time.
"I must go now," I told everyone they just awed.
"Can you stay a little bit? Pleeeeaaaaaasseeee???" They all asked me with puppy eyes, I looked down at them.
"No."
I was back at Canterlot, after dragging all of my newly gotten bits to my home... In a barren frozen wasteland... Alone... Anyway, the point is that I got my well-earned money for my home. Now, I'm getting my payment for my actual job, this time, no one was awing at me. They just stood alert, trying to keep themselves together, they stood silent like stone. I do not like it here and I found it unprofessional that they all fainted at the sight of me. However, they help pay the rent, even though I don't have a landlord. Scratch that, they help keep me fed, though I have other options to choose from. Like the Dragon Lands, the Griffon Kingdom, the Storm Kingdom, Seaquestria, the Abyssinian Kingdom, the Avian Kingdom, the Changeling Kingdom, the Diamond Dog Tribes/Packs, Zebrafica, Minos, Yakistan... and Underground World... Okay, maybe that wasn't the best possible way to say it.
I opened the doors to the palace, I heard some giggling from the throne room, I didn't like that one bit. One bit at all. The guards looked at me, giggling to themselves, men and women alike. I open the door to the throne room, Celestia sat there grinning and all giddy. I walk up to her, the same way before, the guards looked at me with a serious look on their faces. Celestia looked at me.
"Welcome back, do you have the head of Texas Red? Oh, that rhymed." Celestia chuckled, I just raise the bloody bag and she winced. "Thanks..."
"Now please give me my money and I'll be on my way," I told her, Celestia then giggled some more, before summoning the contract. My eyes went wide, "Celestia, what did you do?"
"Well, I kinda wrote on invisible ink that you are going to be one of my people unless you gain... At most of 100 friends, and perhaps even something more~" Celestia said raising her eyebrow flirtatiously, I march up to her and snatch the paper up. Celestia shot some magic from her horn at the paper and the once invisible ink revealed itself at the bottom of the page.
“You shall go to Ponyville after you give me Texas Red’s head. You will meet up with Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and until you learn the magic of Friendship, you can not go back to your life as a hitman. P.S You' will now do as I say when I say it, my that sounds like I'm an evil tyrant. Which I'm not, see you later Hitty!”
Silence... My grip tightens and I look at her, I then remember something, I then smirk. "You do know I can always break this contract, right?" Celestia chuckled.
"And then you would go bankrupt! You are renowned for being an assassin that never breaks his contracts and completes his job, what will happen to the infamous Hit when he breaks a contract? Well, we won't know until we find out won't we?" Celestia mused, putting a fist under her chin, I drop the paper on the ground and clenched my fist.
"You bitch," I told her, it was the third time she pushed me to swear, she just smiled playfully, "Where's the next train to Ponyville?" I sighed, she just stood up.
"I knew you would never break your contract, here's the ticket." Celestia hands me the ticket then wraps her arm around my neck, I was a few inches taller than her. "I can tell this is the start to a beautiful friendship."
"I would like to die as of right now, end my existence." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Where's the fun in killing? Honestly, I do not know how you make a living off of it." Celestia summoned a nail file, she then sharpens her nails.
"I will not be insulted by some ineffectual privileged, no account, flat-brained, jackass, if you want to start a fistfight then bring it on. Though you may be surprised when I send you to a hospital. I doubt you know my real name, I’m the fucking Lizard King," I said to her, my deep and emotionless voice making her crack up.
"You're such fun to be around with! And to think we can send messages to each other every day." Celestia grinned, I just shuddered, she sighed. "Ah, I just can't wait! Go to Ponyville, go on!" Celestia turns my body to the door and pushes me to it. I strongly dislike her, I hope one day we spar and I harm her, but not too much. I will harm her one day.
Mark my words.
The train had reached Ponyville, I had packed my bags and bid farewell to my old home which I still love, Celestia had won this round, but mark my words I will find her and turn her into a damn fur coat when this is over. Many of the ponies had steered away from me, due to my physical appearance is a likely option. I got up from my seat and carried my bags, I opened the exit to the train, when I opened it I saw a 5'3 mare with darkish purple and violet hair. She had nerd glasses on and a notebook close to her chest. Next to her was a drake, an Arc Drake, a rare sight to see these days. He looked to be no older than twelve, he probably still loved Power Ponies, it's not like I had a vast collection of the figures and comics back at home. It would be nice to share it with him, though I doubt he would keep it a secret. The drake jumped back from me, not expecting me to be this insanely tall, which I was 6'3.
"Um, hello!" The mare began, judging by her appearance she is Twilight Sparkle. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, welcome to Ponyville, what's your name?" Twilight stuck a hand out, I looked at her hand then I looked at her eyes. I do not interact with people who have not earned my respect. Twilight winced, opening her notebook and writing my behavior down.
"Okay, that was just to gauge you on the interactive scale, you ignored my greeting and my hoof shake, thus you get a one out of ten. Speaking of which, I already know your name, you are Hit." Twilight told me, I just look down at her, the drake leaned over to Spike.
"He's tall, purple, and he looks cool, are you sure he isn't Ponos?" The drake asked Twilight she just face-hoofed.
"Yes, I'm sure Spike, he isn't the Mad Pony," Twilight grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose, my gaze switched over to the drake I now know as Spike.
"While I may not be the Mad Pony, my name is Hit, the Legendary Assassin, I have never broken a contract." I stuck my hand out to him, Spike was a fan of the MCU, the M standing for Marble, not Marvel. And that simple thing will gain my respect. Spike gladly took my hand and we shook hands before letting go. Twilight looked to Spike with an awestricken look in her eyes, she then turns to me, then Spike, then me again. Twilight then scratches whatever was in her notebook and replaces it.
"Now then, I think it's time we get on to the tour!"
So you're probably wondering... What happened? Well, I said fuck the tour and headed to Twilight's house, and APPARENTLY, that was the wrong call, for there was a party there- No, there was a trap waiting for me. It was a party just for me, a 'Welcome to Ponyville Party!' in fact. So here I am now, sitting in the middle of the room with Twilight's friends.
"So yer a Hitman right?" The farm pony known as Applejack asked me, I turned to her and nodded. "And yer name is Hit, is that a nickname?"
"No, it's pure coincidence," I told her, Applejack blinked.
"Boy, ya do sure have a weird name..." Applejack chuckled, I left the conversation off like that. I looked for Twilight and she was reading a book as the party went on, suddenly a rainbow blur appeared in front of me.
"Now hold on, since you're a Hitman, does that mean you kill ponies?" The cyan mare I know as Rainbow Dash spoke, I gazed down at her.
"Yes, it does, I kill Minotaurs, Ponies, Dragons, Griffons, Avians, Abyssinians, Diamond Dogs, and many more," I informed the Pegasi.
"You must be working undercover to try and make us your friends, only to stab us in the back and kill us!" Rainbow Dash accused, I frown.
"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done so already..." I told her as my crimson eyes glowed for a bit, Rainbow Dash was shaken at this. She looked to Twilight.
"Twilight! He's gonna kill us!" She raced to Twilight, I groaned.
"Oh boy..."