Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows


59. The peace before...

-Equus, Canterlot, Fizzle-

“How did you know?” Says the kitty that was hanging upside down and bound by her legs.

“That the Tiny Ewe from the Crystal Empire was a lynchpin in your latest ridiculousness?” I just shook my head, Jaded was becoming easier for me to read. When things start getting weird look, for the most out of place thing and move it ever so slightly. “Wasn’t hard to figure out Jade, do you have an alibi for this mess or do I need to arrest you for being a public nuisance?”

“Right pocket.” I levitated what was in her right pocket of her shorts out. I quickly unfurled the note, read it and then sighed audibly.

“All the damages incurred, because you certainly don’t do thing by half, is coming out of the Royal Guards budget… again.” I just sat down and started petting the tiny ewe eating the crystal berries that I set out for it.

I looked behind me at all the royal guards in Canterlot trapped in crystalized single mass of honey and maple syrup, I’m surprised that she even got all the guards that were off duty too.

I’m one of the few things between my kitty and world domination, should she ever actually begin trying. She most likely just wants to destroy Saddle Arabia, which would be a diplomatic nightmare if we allowed her anywhere near having the idea.

“Pure… evil…” One of the royal guards whimpered.

“Zampony…. Zampony… Zampony…” Another wide eyed guard kept saying in a madness mantra.

“Suck it up people, if you can’t handle a little Jade attack, then you won’t be able to take on the rougher stuff that generally happens around Princess Twilight.” I stated bluntly. “My kitty doesn’t do killing, but what she’s good at is traumatizing people for life. I remember when she traumatized me by exploding in front of me… that’s how I ended up as the Storm Queen!”

“So… going to tell me what’s going on now Queen Fizzy?” Jade smiled innocently at me and I levitated the Tiny Ewe up to her. It promptly smacked her in the face for me with its tiny hoof. “Ow!”

“How good of ewe.” I stated, the Tiny Ewe bleated happily as I set her back to eating crystal berries. “I wonder if Silvers would like a pet.”

-Elhorn, the next day, Hydrigal Castle Town, Bakery, Ocellus-

“That’s… kind of awesome.” Smolder stated with smile. “Any dragon would wish they could do something like that!”

“No, not awesome, it was freaky and mildly traumatizing!” I received a hug from Smolder, and the love flowed. “Her one near emotional constant just suddenly ceases to exist by going entirely negative and she goes off on a verbal tirade against a demon, she even continued to do so even while we were under attack by machines!”

“Shhh… it is okay Ocellus, Pom is never going to hurt us, I’m sure she had her reasons for acting the way she did. Though having negative fear…” I watched as Smolder dug into a banana cream pie, well what passes for bananas on this world. “Sounds like the demon was so underwhelming that Pom snapped.”

The food on Elhorn apparently tasted weird, not that I would know as I’m always well fed by my friends.

It’s a good thing changelings will never tire of the taste of pure love, familial or romantic partner, the two best flavors to ever exist! With friendship being a good third that never quits!

“I think it be an awesome way to deal with a big problem that quickly, I be wanting to insult someone so bad that they explode like that now too… provided it doesn’t be killing them.” Of course you do Shanty, you were far more impressionable than we were. “All Pirates have to be good at insulting, but I be doubting that Pom is willing teach me that. Wait… can beings be exploding twice?”

“You’ve got that right Shanty, she definitely won’t. I’ll help you with that personally and we can bounce insult ideas off each other. It’s kind of a sport for dragons. So what’s Pom doing again?” Smolder asked as she and Shanty continued to eat baked goods.

“Waiting for a response to the delivered message, she doesn’t need a translator to take a message just a destination and person. Besides she’s has something important to talk with Colleen about.” I don’t think Pom will ever cease to amaze us in what she is capable of, even if drastically undersells her own worth as a friend. “She’s apparently the most eloquent speaker of canid languages ever according to Colleen. I’m also feeling sorry for Mr. Beezy after what Pom did to him, my feelings are conflicting because he ‘was’ a demon.”

“Is it because of how Pom dealt with him or is it a kinship thing from being part bug and expecting him to have done more?” That was a hard question to answer Smolder, but if I had to...

“A lot of that really.” I looked at the streets teaming with life, as the frogs got things back in order and tossed out a lot of bad supplies and were picking their lives back up quite quickly. Also there were rainbows arcing all around Hydrigal. “I’m kind of upset with Pom about it, but I have to give her credit for doing it for a good reason. The demon was obviously not going to let Jean’s people go and it was far faster than fighting all those robots and then dealing with Mr. Beezy afterwards while we’re weak.”

“How long do you suppose the hospitality will keep going?” Shanty asked with a bright grin loaded with pie.

“Please swallow your food before you talk Shanty, also they seem to make whole body weights worth of food here.” All of it was gourmet food too, even the pie Shanty was eating was made specifically for her and to her tastes. “So I don’t think you’ll be going hungry as long as we’re here and while they are quite hospitable, we shouldn’t overstay our welcome or eat all the food in the realm.”

These amphibians were a jolly people, not really many high end warriors among them. Jean is one of the best fighters to ever come from Hydrigal… except he wasn’t a soldier and he didn’t have much experience being in a pitched battle until meeting us. At least Jean had a positive attitude and wanted to help like Pom did.

“Yeah, now if only the food of this world wasn’t so weird.” Mumbled Smolder. “Bite into an apple, expect the taste of plums or an orange.”

“I have a quick question to ask, why does word ‘buck’ get so many varied reactions?” It has always bothered me and Smolder looked willing to answer, but her emotions seemed to read as embarrassed.

“Cultural context Ocellus, bucking could be used for kicking, a quote unquote ‘bad word’ or… an innuendo. Ponies and most other quadrupeds always know the context when used. I’m guessing that changelings have had cultural issues there too?” Wasn’t going to dignify that with a response Smolder, my face was too red and warm to do so.

Shanty snickered loudly into one of her hooves as she continued to consume her pie with a love for life and good food. Dodo eventually snuck up right next her, about as sneaky as a large two legged mechanical bird thing can be.

“Well that explains a few of the weirder problems when we still had infiltrators.” My face had to be quite pale as I realized she included ‘innuendo’ in that, oh gods… I’m never going to be able to look at my parents, cousins, uncles and aunts in the faces again without having to explain this to them. To think we’ve been using those phrases without fully understanding them. “It would also certainly explain the changelings that got pulled into some herds by ponies without explanation…”

“So wait, you’ve said things like ‘bucking heck’ or ‘what the actual buck’ and never know what it means in context?” Smolder burst out laughing as I looked away in embarrassment. “I can’t help but think of changelings as adorable puppies now.”

“Well we changelings had a decent idea what those phrases meant, just not everything behind them. Anyway I figured out a bit more about Pom’s wool, the magic reflecting properties only seem to activate when harmful magic tries to hit her. The ‘safety scissors’ and ‘mend’ spells didn’t do anything to set her wools unusual properties off. The particular ‘mend’ spell I used wasn’t meant for medical purposes, but it seemed to have worked well enough.” Which means thankfully that even if it wasn’t a necessarily a medical spell, it had worked on Pom’s ribs and I didn’t cause her any problems. “Reflecting dangerous magic is a peculiar bizarre ability that Lambkin are not known as having, it certainly kept her safe from that storm of dark magic the demon was building up for an attack it never got off.”

“Different topic, what do you think is going to happen to that Nicole Beta character you mentioned to us?” Smolder leaned back lazily and kicked up her feet on the table, which was a bit rude to our new friends and allies. “We can also talk about the local guardian spirit that seems to be happy to create rainbows all around Hydrigal for the amphibians, it’s actually a really pretty effect. I have to give it to the elemental spirit, it seems certainly happy to have them back.”

“It is pretty, this is being quite a nice place and…. hey!” Shanty suddenly noticed Dodo pecking at her pie and quickly looked away why trying to warble innocently, nobody was buying it for a second. “You be having bits of it on your beak you pie pilfering pillock! I be proud of you, stealing and knowing when to do so is being a great skill that all pirates should know. In this case, it is important to know that it was not right to do so… because you should never be stealing from your captain!”

Dodo whined, he was really part of our group now. He mostly runs on friendship, along with a bit of food and water. I don’t honestly know about repairs, but he seems to heal almost biologically. He was Shanty’s curious familiar and I was studying him to draw comparison to other familiars I’ve heard of from Pom.

I wondered what Nicole Beta would make of Dodo, she seems to know some of the history behind what was going on in this world despite being stuck to only doing things within the crashed ship that would never fly again.

Still didn’t know what Nicole exactly was, she did say she was like a controlling force behind machines and wasn’t truly a machine herself.

So she was like a machine’s bodiless soul, this didn’t make Bruno happy in the slightest that machines can become intelligent and or living entities if my ability to feel emotions were anything to go by. Bruno had clearly understandable reasons for having a huge distrust of them or the fact that they can have souls themselves without stealing them from someone else.

“Please don’t teach Dodo something you might absolutely regret later Shanty.” The look I received from Shanty was confused, as if she didn’t understand why she shouldn’t be teaching her familiar how to commit larceny. “Hydrigal is really nice place without all the gloom.”

“Yeah, especially with all these architects, artists and artisans, plus the numerous gourmet chefs. It’s surprising that they even have a standing military force, given how congenial they are even with neighbors like Gedol around.” Smolder, I don’t think dragons understood politics, which would be understandable given dragons prefer strength over intelligence. Thank goodness for Spike and Dragon Lord Ember turning that around. “Still didn’t stop the thousand or so frogs from being stuffed into a small place like canned sardines… what? Dragons do occasionally buy snacks from Abyssinian merchant cats, they are really good at fishing.”

Now politics were easy for changelings to understand even if we were a tad culture blind. It was always about the same common denominator, power, and it’s all basically math to the simplest degree of who gets said power and why. Also there’s the chronic backstabbing disorder that some forms of politics tends to include.

It’s a good thing these frogs are too friendly and humble for that stuff, don’t think we’d get the respite we have today if it weren’t for them willing to give us sanctuary.

“You know, if we ever see Gallus again and he makes fun of you for liking cute stuff, then you should ask him if it means he doesn’t think Silver Stream is cute.” I just made Smolder smile at me. “So Shanty, Smolder said you were doing something odd with the fog?”

“Yeah, it be teaching me something.” Shanty shook her head with a cheerful grin and droplets of water fell away from her creating sparkles in the air. “I be adding water to my Cut-lash style!”

“Isn’t water usually known for blunt force though?” Good question Smolder.

“Not if you be being hit with a spray of the briny sea, now that can cut and bite into you pretty badly. Sure the force of waves be blunt, but the sea be having its own hidden cutting edge.” Shanty was happy to talk about it. “Everyone be knowing that a little salt in the wound is being quite painful. Now that I’ve figured out how to use my sweat to increase the power of my attacks, I can do that! It be drying me out quite a bit though, it be better if I do it with a nearby source of water to draw from.”

As Shanty continued into happily telling us how she figured out how to wield water with her odd bladed hoof magic. I wondered idly how Pom was fairing mentally as I listened to Shanty go on about the neat stuff she figured out from how waves ripple and recreated ripples with her attacks.

“So Ligstrun, how do you think you are feeling?” I know how he was feeling. He was a bit tense around us, but he seemed to be recovering from the burns on his back well enough.

“Far safer around you guys at the least and my back isn’t feeling too horrible… thanks for taking me with you.” Ligstrun soon got up from his seat and started to walk away after finishing his food, he been quiet the entire time and I noticed him looking at the rainbows with a small smile. He was a good person that had been in, and probably still was, in a bad place. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m needed in Hydrigal Castle, apparently my expertise as a mechanic is going to be of some ‘good’ use. I’ll be ready to leave with you guys and… I’ll figure out some way to repay you if you can guarantee my safety. I really don’t want to be experimented on, so if Gedol tries to capture me… please, don’t let them take me.”

“Don’t worry, we won’t!” I went back to listening to Shanty wax poetic about saltwater and its properties, she was really prepared for a life at sea.

-Castle Hydrigal, Throne Room, Pom-

Not understanding a word of this, I was letting Colleen translate anything pertinent to give Ocellus a break from tediously translating everything for me. I would always work well with dogs, a curse as much as a blessing.

I needed a good frolic… away from the war and things like what happened with Mr. Beezy.

The frogs were amiable to lending aid where they could, mostly to us specifically since we did help them out personally. Curiously enough they wanted the White Knight Couriers to do a favor for Nicole Beta.

We would be going through enemy lines again to get anywhere and Nicole needed transportation, didn’t know how we were going to carry someone who didn’t physically have a body though. The concept of her being a machine spirit was a little weird to me, but Ocellus confirmed she could feel Nicole’s emotions and presence as much as she felt Dodo being alive.

It was eventually explained that Jean had to give her permission to build a body, Jean laid down some ground rules and Nicole accepted them immediately much to Jean’s surprise. Nicole explained she was basically born to aid his ancestors and she had to listen to at least Jean.

If Nicole wasn’t needed anymore, she would just go back to sleep and was quite sad to do so as she knew she was needed. She wanted to see what kind of world she helped Elhorn become by getting most of their ancestors here alive.

I think we could trust Nicole. She seemed chronically sad or depressed from what Ocellus said and she need some more happiness in her life, but that decision wasn’t in my hooves. I could only give words of encouragement through Ocellus or Colleen, up until she’s deciphered the language of Equus.

I wonder…

“Can I ask to see Nicole?” My barks drew Colleen’s attention away from the proceedings as several frogs conversed about the message we delivered and how they are going to respond to it. I was just a messenger, not a politician or a council member. “I also need to talk to you about something.”

Colleen nodded and turned to Jean to address him, he said some things and waved at us. Colleen turned back to us.

“Come on.” Two short yips and slightly more eloquent than Colleen had spoken before, I think she was learning how to properly speak canine from me.

We went into the top of the ship entrance and walked down the staircase quietly, apparently this was an entrance to the top of the ship that was used for walking around on top of it while it was in atmosphere.

“I have questions.” I yapped at her.

“I know.” She responded with a whine.

“You speak canine? Interesting, excuse me, the mechanic I needed is here and… well I certainly didn’t know all this Gedol stuff was going on. I need his help if I’m going to make myself a body.” The mechanical tone of the barking kind of threw me off, but I understood it. “Thankfully I have a lot spare parts to steal from numerous deactivated machines around here, I at least want to be made of military grade armor even if I’m not using military grade weapons. I don’t exactly trust myself with weapons given what I am, that caution is warranted given how machines have acted in the past on this world while I slept. Jean talked to me for quite a bit about the Gedol Empire situation before he went to sleep last night.”

“Nicole?” I queried having to use a weird half bark and yip for her name.

“Yes, some form of ‘canine’ is one of the languages I apparently know having heard you speak it. Don’t really know what they added to me when the ancestors to the people of this world made me from copied fragments of an already fully realized cognizance.” Nicole then coughed. “I know it’s a bit odd for someone with the image of a cat speaking dog. I’m not actually a cat, it’s just a left over image I happen to cobble together that reminds me of my originator. Excuse me, but I have to walk the mechanic through what I need him to grab and what he needs to tear apart for me. He seems enthusiastic to aid me in making a body for myself.”

“A body? Well I guess we’ll be seeing you soon.” I turned back to Colleen as we entered the room where we first learned of how people ended up on Elhorn.

“By this evening at the earliest with a mechanics help. I’ll be able to start working on my body myself after a certain point, but a pair of hands would still be helpful.” Nicole seemed to be a little bit less dour than Ocellus predicted. “Glad you happened to have one with you.”

“Colleen, you know how to fight right?” I didn’t have a full rundown of the history of what happened.

All I knew was that it was exceedingly bad, enough so for the people of this world to go through the effort of capturing multiple ships with anyone willing to fight that they could scrape together to escape their home world.

“Yes, if facing enemy paw with paw, can handle self, but better at smarts.” She pulled her modified shrimp claw out and twirled it before putting it back, she also patted the rocket pack she sported on her back. “Can use this, but only when important. No want to rely on though, effective working burn packs rare, safe burn packs more rare.”

“What was it like being a special operative for Yellow Dog?” I growled this out as gently as I could.

“No put in field, was decent in the air and survived death knight trying to make burn packs work good. The one this one had worked weak, but no kill this one.” Colleen was good, but she had to think about the words she wanted to say. “Dark knight, no one like, is death. Train us to fight, many fall. If hurt, no help if no do well.”

I think Colleen was trying harder for me and while I appreciated it, it still unnerved me what lengths dogs would go to just to be my friend and help me. That’s even when they weren’t my beloved beasties.

“Yikes, probably shouldn’t continue this, how about we just go back up and enjoy the day together?” My words got Colleen’s fluffy tail wagging.

“Friends?” She asked hopefully.

“We already are, but are you hiding anything?” We would spend the rest of the day together in Hydrigal, this would at least make Colleen happy.

“One of few that survived dark knight. Others… not lucky.” Colleen’s best approximation for Axel Gear is 'dark knight', he sounded terrifying. I stood up on my hind legs and patted her on the shoulder.

“How long were you alone for, before ending up in Cladinhold?” That was one really big mouthful for a name spoken in canine, Colleen looked away. “I’m here for you as long as I can be.”

“Why leave?” She asked simply.

“I have family to return to.” The solemn nod of acceptance I got from Colleen was a bit sad, but she still gave me a big hug afterwards. “Jean and Bruno can be friends if you let them.”

“Not like pig, can work with.” She yapped back. “Frog is good friend. Have no family, not anymore…”

“Jean would share his family.” I would too if I could.

-The next day, north of Cladinhold, Ocellus-

We have our next message to deliver, we only needed to get back to Cladinhold and not go all the way to Castle Zebulos.

“This is what one of the people of Mobius would look like when turned into a machine.” Nicole finished saying, as her body was that of a mechanical lynx that vaguely looked like her image on a screen. “This will be my sordid reminder.”

Dodo had interested Nicole immensely, something about six benign magical viruses.

We went through enemy territory by going northwest, then we started heading south towards Cladinhold and are soon intercepted.

Dodo suddenly leapt backwards taking the whole wagon with him into the air.

A powerful swirling burst of red energy ruptured the ground in front of us.

Hearing something, I looked up.

It was a hovering opossum with dark purple armor glaring at us.

Was this Axel Gear?!