Dr. Lillypad was sitting at her desk working on some very serious document, a fanfiction about the forbidden love between her favorite princess and her most loyal griffon guard. "Hum... This is too graphic, maybe I shouldn't send it to Twilight. She's going to forbid me from entering the castle again... I know! I'll change Spike for Sunburst- No, for Starlight! That way I won't have to worry about the size of the bed and the inces-'' She was interrupted by some knocking on the door. She snapped out of her current mentality and remembered she was supposed to receive someone today. She forgot exactly who but figured it'll be ok, she was Equestria's first, best and only sexologist after all. "Come on in!"
The door opened and none other than King Thorax himself entered the room. "Good morning, Dr. Lilly!" Before the mare had a chance to answer, Pharynx also entered the room with his usual displeased look.
"Thorax, Pharynx! It's so good to see you again, please have a seat wherever you like and tell me how you have been!" The mare moved away from her desk to an armchair closer to a therapist couch where Thorax and Pharynx sat. She waited a little for one of them to say anything but Pharynx clearly didn't want to be there let alone talk and Thorax's attention was fixed on a Princess Twilight figurine on a small round table somewhat near where he sat. "That's from a very limited run, you know, I paid a pretty penny for it." Lilly said proudly.
"Huh?! Oh, the toy? Yeah, It's so detailed, not wonder it cost you. You have it for the foals to play with during your sessions?" The mare laughed loudly.
"What?! Heck, No! Also, that's not a toy, it's an extremely faithful miniature recreation of Princess Twilight. If a kid touched I'd kill the litt-" Lilly forced a few coughs. Pharynx remained still but smirked a little. "Excuse me. What I was saying is that I'd rather children wouldn't play with something so expensive. Plus I don't work with kids unless it's a personal request. There are usually better doctors for that, I'm a bit intense."
"Hah! A bit"?"
"Pharynx!" Thorax tried to reprimand his brother but only made his smirk bigger, Pharynx look bored but pleased. Lilly just giggled at the snarky comment.
"It's okay Thorax, I really am way more than just a bit intense, especially when I get in my zone. Which reminds me, thanks for all the help with my research and for being so receptive towards me and my studies. I was glad to hear no one felt too violated after I left, I surely don't need more enemies right now!" The mare giggled again while Thorax held a forced smile. "I owe you guys!"
"It's no problem, Dr. Lilly, we ponymorphs were just as curious about our own anatomies as you were. Well, maybe not that curious, but we loved to learn more about ourselves."
"Ponymorphs?"
"Yeah, It's a rebranding thing. We're so different from how we used to, we didn't feel like "changelings" anymore, so we decided to try a different name. We're hoping it helps to change the stigmas about our kind."
"That and the fact that still to this date, whenever someone says the word "changeling", a mass panic ensues." Pharynx added, now back to his usual expression."
"Yeah... That's sadly true. Even within the hive, one of us was startled by a mirror and screamed "Changeling", for some reason most of us panicked." Dr. Lilly had to look away and try hard to hold a laughing fit, she fake coughed a few more times before addressing the changeli- ponymorphs.
"I think that's a great idea, and I like the new name, it fits you guys well. I will work that in my book for future reprints. It sounds way less menacing too, huh? Look out! There's a Ponymorph!" Pharynx sprang into action out of instinct.
"WHERE?!"
"Oh brother. Pharynx, calm down. Everything is fine."
"How can you be so sure, Thorax?! There's a-" Pharynx suddenly realized what had just happened and went back to sit, looking way angrier than normal. Lilly worried if she had just made a new enemy and was quickly to apologize.
"I'm sorry, Pharynx, I didn't mean to startle you. I was wrong of me to joke like that around someone who's been through so much conflict. Please forgive me." Pharynx just grunted, but his expression eased up a little, if anything that was a good sign.
"Don't worry, Dr. Lilly, Pharynx has been very on the edge lately. It's actually the reason we came here."
"By that he means he blackmailed me into coming here, I don't need help, I'm fine!"
"Thorax, you shouldn't blackmail your brother or anyone for that matter. If there really is something wrong, the first step to get better is to be able to admit something's wrong. Only then can a creature be helped."
"I... I know Dr. Lilly, I swear I didn't do it out of malice, I know for a fact Pharynx is not well and he's too stubborn to admit it. I hate to see him suffering like this so I thought I'd need to resort to more... extreme methods."
"I understand, Thorax. But unless his life is in immediate danger you should try other approaches. Me or other psychologists could have guided you better. It's nice to know you care about your brother's well being but you shouldn't try to control him. So, Pharynx, if you truly think there's nothing wrong you are free to leave. You're also free to stay if you want to tell me whatever's on your mind, even if there are small things bothering you, it's great to just vent it out sometimes. And, Thorax?"
"Yes, Dr. Lilly?"
"If Pharynx wanted to talk to me in private, would it be okay for me to ask you to wait outside while we talked? Some things are harder to say with creatures around you, you understand, right?"
"Yeah, sure, of course. Whatever helps Pharynx I'm willing to do!"
"That great to hear! And if he decides to leave, the blackmail is off, right?"
"Yeah... I was never really gonna do it, I just told him that so he'd come." Thorax looked at his brother with a frown that pierced the darker ponymorph shell like a spear. He couldn't stand his little brother, whom he spent most of his life protecting for being a weakling, looking at him like that. "I'm sorry, Pharynx, I shouldn't have tried to manipulate you like that. I'm just concerned about you, I hate seeing you sad like this."
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Quit being so dramatic, you're gonna make me puke... however it is we do that, I feel like I'm about to find out."
"So, Pharynx... We can give you a minute to think or take a breather if you'd like. If you want to talk me another day, that's fine too, as long as you don't keep rescheduling forever that-"
"Fine, fine, I'll talk ok? I admit... I have been a little restless lately for some reason. It's been... a little hard to sleep and stuff..."
"I see. Trouble sleeping is usually a big signal that something's up, either as a consequence of emotional turmoil or the cause of it. Has been something else on your mind lately that could be bothering you? You can relax and take your time to-"
"He's in love with a mare and he won't admit it!" Thorax suddenly interrupted Lilly. "Sorry! I couldn't hold it anymore, it's too hard, I don't know why he denies it so much! We can literally feel it!"
"I'm not in love with a pony, Thorax! I've already told you that a million times! The problem is something else!" Pharynx screamed furiously at his brother, who was scared at first but quickly became indifferent as he continued. Thorax calmly asked his brother a question.
"What’s the name of the mare you're in love with?"
"Tempest Shadow, why?" Pharynx answered with no anger whatsoever despite how furious he was less than a second ago. Thorax looked at him with a serious expression, Lilly looked at him with wide eyes of surprise. After a few seconds of silence, Pharynx realized what had just happened, he then scowled at his brother.
"When we get home, you're dead."
After receiving a death threat, Thorax fled out of the room and ran away to somewhere, possibly some place he could hide from Pharynx for a while. In contrast, Pharynx stayed put with his usual expression, except it had a dash of sadness to it, he had decided to stay instead of chasing after his brother. Lilly took this a very good sign, it likely meant that he was willing to try to work out the problem he was tricked into admitting. After a little while of silence, Lilly decided to not waste the opportunity and carry on.
"So, Pharynx. I'm glad you decided to stay. Try not to be mad at your Brother, he just worries for you as I'm sure you worry for him."
"I only stayed because he still has leverage on me, I can't risk killing him yet."
"Oh... Well, as long as you're here we might as well keep going, right?" Pharynx just grumbled, he didn't move away so Lilly took it as a yes. "So... You're in love with miss Fizzlebop, huh? She's a-"
"It's Fizzlepop, and she doesn't use that name anymore, and no, I'm not in love with her. I just like her. I think she's cool, you know, for a pony. Offense intended."
"Offense taken. I consider her very cool myself. Now that I think about it, you two have a lot of similarities. No wonder you like her."
"Yeah, we do have a lot in common. Like how we're not weaklings,we both like to theorize how we could take over Equestria, we both think that everything is way too colorful, and that neither of us cares about dating stuff, it's a waste of time. So the problem is obviously something else."
"I see.” Lilly quickly answered, seemingly dismissing the casual mention of a possible coup. “Doctor and patient confidentiality is sacred, but I’m telling Twilight just in case.” She thought to herself before continuing. “Just out of curiosity, when you talked about dating, it was you who first said that you didn't care about it or was it her?"
"What difference does it make who said it first?"
"Details, I just wanted to know. Do you remember it?"
"Yeah... She... She said it first. She said it was dumb and that... Umm... then she asked me how crazy it would be for us to date. I agreed that it was dumb and that it would be crazy for us to date." Pharynx probably had the worst poker face in Equestria, the huge frown on his face would've given him away to a foal.
"Oh, okay. Let me ask you some things real quick, Pharynx. Does the idea of a pony and a changeling in-"
"Ponymorph."
"Yes, sorry. Does the idea of a pony and a ponymorph in a relationship bother you in any way?"
"What? Why would it? We've been doing that centuries, remember?"
"Okay… Does the idea of a pony and a ponymorph, not pretending to be pony in order to feed, being in a relationship bother you?”
“What’s the difference? It’s mushy stuff all the same.”
"Right, of course... So... You said you don't care about relationships, so I take you okay with staying single forever. No plan for marriage, kids and so on, right?"
"Well... I mean, I wouldn't say forever but... You know, at some point maybe I would like to... You know."
"You mean that at some point you would like to be in a relationship?"
"Huh... Maybe?"
"Okay. If it came a time where you wanted to be in a relationship, would you like Ms. Tempest to be your mate?"
"Yeah, that'd be awesome."
"Do you think about her when you masturbate?"
"Duh! Who else would I think of?"
Lilly couldn't figure out if Pharynx was messing with her or if love had made him absurdly stupid. It was "Lilly time". It was time to throw all subtlety out of the window and take things way out proportion for the sake of... Hopefully the patient's well being.
"Pharynx! I need to tell you something very important!" The mare stood up from her chair with a serious look, startled, Pharynx did the same, quickly getting into his combat pose. "Tempest came here earlier, she knew you'd be here and she told me..."
"What?! What did she tell you?!"
"She told me she'd be your marefriend if you screamed really loud that you love her, but only if you really do love her, and you only got a few seconds left, Pharynx! Do you love her or not?! QUICK!”
"YES, I DO! TEMPEST, I- I... I can't believe I fell for this again." Pharynx facehooved as he let himself fall down on the couch. "I swear... The only reason I won't turn into a snake and poison you right now, is because I'm not in the mood for it."
"Sorry, Pharynx. I might have gone too far again." Lilly giggled nervously.
"You're a terrible doctor. If it wasn't for Thorax, I'd say you were a villain..."
"Well, that's fair. I really need-"
"Are you a villain?"
"No, of course not... At least not on purpose. I'm sorry I did that, Pharynx, but I suppose you can't deny it any more after this." Pharynx let out a loud grumble.
"Can't you see it doesn't matter? Tempest thinks it would be crazy for us to date, it doesn't matter if I love her or not, we won't get together!"
"You know, some of these "warrior types", like you and Tempest, have a real hard time dealing with intimacy, relationships and love because most of their lives they focused on doing the opposite."
"And that is relevant because?"
"Tempest very likely doesn't think it would be crazy for you to be together, she was flirting with you and you didn't realize it."
"She was not flirting with me. She went into excruciating detail about how crazy it would be for us to date, and then move in together, cuddle every night, eventually get married, possibly have some kids- That is oddly specific now that I think about it, why did she... If she wanted to flirt with me she would've just said... She could've... Tempest is not the type of mare to flirt. We don’t flirt, okay?"
"How would you guys court someone you were interested in, then? Send a letter declaring your love?"
"Of course not, only a coward would do that! We would just tell whomever we liked directly!"
"And were you able to do that?"
"Do what?"
"Tell her directly that you wanted to be with her."
"Of course not, I couldn't, not after she said it'd be crazy!"
"And before she said that, why couldn't you?"
"I couldn't because... It's obvious, I wouldn't because that's uh..."
"Invading a city is way easier than telling a girl you like her isn't it?"
"Ha! You have no idea!" Lilly kept looking at Pharynx in silence with a light smile on her face. Pharynx was expecting the mare to say something, he quickly became confused, looked around for the reason why she was silent. "Huh... Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just waiting for you to realize you couldn't tell Tempest you liked her directly, because you simply felt too embarrassed to do it, and so was Tempest, which is the reason she tried to flirt with you like she did."
"THAT'S NOT WHY- Ah, fine. You win, I know you’re right, I just didn’t want..."
"To say something you thought would make her not like you, that’s a very normal fear to have when you like someone, Pharynx. The fact that you both are war-bent knuckleheads doesn’t help. You think that showing affection, or as you say, being mushy, is a sign of weakness and vulnerability, and warriors don’t want to be weak or vulnerable. You both wanna be mushy, at least to a certain level, but you can’t admit it, because in your head, admitting it would make you look weak or make yourself vulnerable. What do you think about this?”
“I’m not sure, you’ve said a lot of things and I wasn’t fully paying attention.”
“Look… You’re a ponyling, you give and take love to survive, you deal with mushy stuff by nature, and Tempest is a pony, she’s bound to have some mushy in her somehow. Don’t fear the mush, embrace the mush, you know you both want it. That much is clear.”
"What's a ponyling?"
"Do you want to be with Tempest?"
"You tortured me into admitting that I do"
"Good, so make an effort to tell her that. Maybe on a romantic date, which I suppose for you guys would be hunting some kind of demonic sea monster."
"Didn’t I tell you I couldn't do that just now?"
"You can, you just didn't because it's hard. Can you imagine admitting to an enemy you were scared of them?"
"Of course not, I'd rather die!"
"Yeah, it's that hard. But you can do it."
"I see your point but that's not helpful at all."
"Can you imagine admitting to an enemy you were scared of it, to save Tempest's life?"
"I... That would be hard, but to save her life, yes, I would at least have to try."
"Good, just think about that when you're going to do it. You're a reformed changeling, you-"
"PONYMORPH!"
"Ponymorph, right. Sorry, it’s hard to change the name of something suddenly like that. Be patient, my patient.”
“You make one more joke and I’ll set your office on fire.”
“Okie doke. As I was saying, you're a ponymorph, you have mushy inside you, you can use it in your favor. Try to show your mushy to Tempest and she will show you hers."
"Just to be clear, you're not talking about our genitals, right?"
"I wish I was, but no, I'm talking about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Think of it like giving Tempest a spear, and trusting her that she won’t stab you with it no matter what."
"I… I think I understand." For once, Pharynx had a small smile on his face. He felt tired, but also as if a huge weight had been lifted off him. "So, that's it?"
"Well, now that you're being honest with me and with yourself, do you think that was the problem? Was that what's been giving you trouble sleeping?"
"Probably, yeah. Thanks I guess. You suck, but yeah, thanks." Lilly gave him a confused smile as he got up on his feet.
"Uh... That's ok... I think I'm glad I was able to help. You can always come back for other sessions in the future you know, it helps a little every time." Pharynx headed towards her window as she wondered if he saw something outside.
"Yeah, the only reason I'll be back here is to kill you if Tempest rejects me. Also, I'm not paying you, Thorax was the one with the money. I'll also tell him you made me cry and hurt my feelings, so he won't pay you either. Thanks for help!" Pharynx jumped out of the window and flew away.
"I really need to lock this window..." That was the third time a creature flew away through the window without paying that month alone. "And learn how to make my patients not hate me... I should probably start with that right now." The number of patients that hated her was too large to count, probably about 75% of them. "Oh, wait! I have to finish my fanfic first!"