The ambulance arrives at some point. No idea how fast. The paramedics get her out of the car, and I start to register the chatter around me. People asking how I am. People asking me what happened. Through it all, there's only one sentence that makes it through.
"She's got a pulse!"
The ball of pressure in my chest lessens in a way that not even the best drink could trigger. The paramedics start lifting her onto a stretcher, one of them putting a neck brace on her. A thought strikes me as they start loading her in.
"Wait!" I call out. Reaching into the car, I pull out the Fluttershy doll. "She... she needs this. It'll help her." I stand up and stumble over to them. My head is ringing like I just went nine rounds with a professional boxer. "This helps her. It..." I slide it under her arm, despite the protests of the paramedics. "There you go. All better. She'll... she'll help you get better. Yeah."
"Sir, are you her father?" one of the paramedics asks me.
"Yeah. For...” I take a deep breath. “For what that's worth."
"What happened?" another one asks.
"Couldn't see well in the rain. Must have... gone into the wrong lane. Swerved to miss a car and hit a puddle."
"You're bleeding. Come on and we'll get you checked out, too."
"Okay."
The paramedic leads me to the ambulance and sits me down to start cleaning my injuries. Em is lying on the stretcher, not moving while the other medics work on her. She still limply has her arm around Fluttershy.
"She's... she's going to be okay, right? Gotta be. She has a field trip to the zoo with her class next week. Just... just signed the permission slip today. A little late, but still on time." I sit up a bit more when a thought strikes me. "Wait, her backpack. The permission slip is in her backpack. We need to get that to her teacher so she can go see the tigers with her friends. They were always her favorite."
"Sir, we'll take care of all of that," says the paramedic dabbing at my forehead. "For now, just hold still and let me clean you up."
"Yeah. Yeah, sounds good." I reach out and squeeze Em's leg. "Yeah, we'll get it all set up so you can go to the zoo with Ashleigh and the rest of your friends. I'll even get work off and see if Mrs. Meachum can squeeze in one more parent chaperone, alright?"
She doesn't respond, but she's breathing, and she has a pulse. That means she'll be okay.
"Can you tell us your names?" the paramedic asks me.
"Yeah. Uh... Jack Edward Winters and Emily Kaitlin Winters. We live at..." I tilt my head. "Uh... hang on, let me think..."
"It's okay, Mr. Winters, we'll get that later. Are either of you on any medications?"
"No. Nothing. Advil for headaches every now and again, I guess. She takes a Flintstones vitamin most days. Does that count?"
"Nothing prescription?"
"No, no, nothing like that." I thunk my head against the wall of the ambulance, which causes pain to shoot up through my neck. I barely react to it. More important stuff going on. "She's going to be okay, right?"
"We'll do everything we can, sir."
That's not a yes, but it's not a no either. I reach out my hand again, and it lands on one of the legs of her Fluttershy doll. It's soaking wet, but I give it a little squeeze anyway. Heh, I can see why Em likes carrying it around. It's soft.
* * * *
"Mr. Winters?"
I look up and see a doctor standing in front of me. I'm sitting on the couch in Em's room. They've taken her in for some scans and tests and whatever. I was kind of out of it when they explained everything to me.
"Mr. Winters, how are you doing?"
"Fine, I guess. Just got some stitches. Doesn't matter. How's Em?"
I want more than anything for him to give me a smile and say that she's a bit banged up, but going to be okay in the end. Instead he just stares at me.
"I won't sugarcoat it, Mr. Winters, things are looking rather grim. She suffered severe head and neck trauma. There's still a possibility that she'll recover, but..."
"Yeah. Sure," I mutter. "She'll be okay. Just..." I look around the room, and that's when I spot Fluttershy sitting on Em's bedside table. "Wait, hang on, why didn't you take Fluttershy with her?"
"Mr. Winters..."
"Whatever. Too late now." I run into the bathroom and grab a bunch of paper towels. "Might as well dry her off for when Em comes back.”
The doctor starts talking again, but I don’t even notice. Fluttershy has to be dry for when Em comes back.
* * * *
The clock reads three in the morning, and I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep.
Em is lying in the hospital bed, and I’ve crashed on the couch. She still hasn’t moved at all since they brought her back into the room. Fluttershy is under her arm, but Em’s not squeezing her like she usually does when she’s asleep.
Taking a deep breath, I pull a chair over and set it next to the bed, grabbing Em’s hand when I’ve sat down. I gulp a bit and rub my thumb on her hand.
“Hey, E--” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat before continuing. “Hey, Em. I hope you can hear me. I know the doctors said that it doesn’t look good, but I think they’re wrong. Just sleep and recover a bit, then we’ll work through getting you better.”
Em doesn’t move. Why won’t she wake up?
The first traces of tears appear in my eyes. How did this all go so wrong?
“I... I’m sorry that you lost the wrong parent. If Mommy were still here, none of this would have happened. I’d give anything to make that happen.” I give her a small smile. “I remember when you were born. You just came out, they put you on Mommy’s chest, and you just looked around. Didn’t cry. Looked around like you were trying to figure everything out. Mommy happy cried.” Giving a slightly humorous smile, I shake my head. “If you say that I did as well, I’ll deny it.”
Just move. Please. Just one little eye flutter so I’d know she’s okay. But nothing. Only the beeps of the machines.
“Mommy and me, we made a promise that we were going to take care of you and make sure you were happy and healthy.” My smile fades to nothing. “I don’t think Mommy broke her promise by dying, but I know I did when I started drinking. It was so easy. A bit in my morning coffee made me feel better, then a bit after a hard day, then... I don’t know how it happened. One day I was depressed, then I blink, and I’m depressed and an alcoholic.”
What was that? An apology? A justification? Weak either way.
“Maybe when you wake up, we’ll do something fun. Something amazing. Just the two of us, and I really promise that I won’t drink ever again. You’re more important. Maybe Disneyworld? You did say that you always wanted to go there. You wake up, get better, and we’ll be on the next flight to Florida, yeah?”
Nothing. Why would I expect otherwise?
“Or maybe we can go to one of those pony centers that are popping up. You and I could play in Equestria, and see Fluttershy’s animals, and introduce me to everybo... uh, everypony. You could...”
Wait. What was it that Tyler said?
They tested it out on cancer patients and people like that. They were going to die anyway, so might as well give it one last Hail Mary chance for survival. At first it worked, like, one time in fifty, but I guess they've got it to a point where it's almost one hundred percent survival rate.
Yeah. Equestria. She’d definitely be better if we did that. I could still see her, even. It would work. It had to work.
I stand up and rush out of the room, going straight to the nurse’s station. “Hey, do you guys know where...” I smile as I see Em’s doctor standing at the station. “Doctor! Yes, you.
He turns and gives me a tired smile. “Mr. Winters.”
“Yeah, yeah, hey, Doc. Listen, I had a friend from work talking about this game called Equestria Online, and he said that people are being downloaded into the game, if you can believe that, and he said that it was tested on cancer patients and people who were going to die anyway. So I was thinking--”
“I wondered if you’d think of it once I saw the pony doll.” The doctor sighs. “There has been success with cancer patients and the like. Hell, I’ve even had three of my own patients put into the game. However, none of them have brain damage like Emily does. There’s no guarantee that it would work, even partially. The process might even end up killing her.”
“If she’s in as bad of a shape as you’re saying, Doc, what does it even matter? Which is more likely to work: letting her sit there and hope she wakes up, or giving this a try? Which is better for her?”
The doc grimaces and exchanges a look with one of the nurses. “Mr. Winters... there are risks. If you’re sure that--”
“I’m sure.” Nodding, I look the doc right in the eyes. “I’m sure.”
“Very well.” The doc turns to the nurse. “Get me the forms.”
* * * *
Emily
Everything is cold.
No, everything is warm.
I open my eyes and look around. I'm in a bright field on a dirt road. I look down and see that I have hooves. Hooves? Am I inside Equestria?! I hear somepony walking up to me, and I see that it's Princess Celestia! I bow at her. She laughs, and it's a really beautiful laugh.
"No need for formalities right now, Winter Sky. I'm merely here to guide you."
I stand back up. "Yes, Princess Celestia. Where are we going?"
Suddenly, everything gets cold again, and I can hear people that I can't see.
It's taking, but she's fading! Blood pressure and heart rate are going down!
We're almost there. Just a few more minutes.
We might not have a few more minutes!
Then everything is warm again. Huh. Weird. We're in Ponyville now. I recognize a lot of these ponies. There's Lyra and Bon Bon and Big Mac and Mayor Mare and Roseluck and a lot of other ponies, too! Maybe Fluttershy is here.
"We're here," Princess Celestia says as we get to a house that looks a lot like the other houses around here. "Welcome home."
"Is this where I'm gonna live now, Princess Celestia?" I ask, looking up at her with wide eyes.
"It is indeed, my little pony."
Almost there. Just keep her stable for two, three minutes.
She's about to flatline. Come on, Emily! Just hold on a little longer!
I don't like those voices, and it's not getting warmer like the last time I heard them.
Princess Celestia opens the door, and inside is a white stallion with light brown hair. I know who it is right away.
"Daddy!" I call out, and he smiles at me. He sits down, and I run up to him. It's so cold that I'm almost shivering, but that doesn't matter. Daddy's here.
Just another minute!
Hold on, Emily! Just keep holding on!
Daddy hugs me tight, and things get a little warmer.
Just hold on!
"Is it really you, Daddy?"
"I'm here."
I laugh and cry at the same time. "Please don't drink here. Not here."
Daddy chuckles, and I feel warmer as the room gets colder. "How could I? Alcohol doesn't even exist here. Even the stuff that looks like it is just fruit juice and stuff like that. Not a drop anywhere."
I start crying really hard now, but it's happy crying. The room is getting colder, but that doesn't matter. Daddy's here, and he's not going to drink anymore.
Just hold on!
* * * *
I sit in Em's room alone, holding her Fluttershy doll. Not like she needs it anymore, right?
How did it come to this? Why did it all go so wrong? It's all my fault. Why couldn't I have been the one to get cancer? Katie wouldn't do all of this to Em. They'd be happy together. She lost the wrong parent. I hold Fluttershy close. She still smells a bit from the rain and mud, but that hardly matters.
Standing up, I make my way to my room. Need to sleep sometime, right? I've been up so long I don't even know what day it is.
When I reach my room, the first thing I notice is the bottle of bourbon on my nightstand next to the picture of me and Katie right where I left it. Yeah, that's right. I didn't get rid of that, did I? The ball of pressure in my chest tells me that I should just drink it all, then head to the store to get some more. I mean, who's left to hurt if I get really drunk? I reach out and grab the bottle. This was a good run, but what's left?
But I see the picture of Katie again. Then I look down and remember the Fluttershy doll I'm holding.
No.
I want to. I don't want anything more.
But how would they react?
They're not here anymore, are they?
Do it for them.
But I want to. I really really want to.
But I shouldn't. I walk out of my room and down to the kitchen. Unscrewing the lid, I pour the remains of the bottle into the sink, watching the vile liquid run down the drain. I shake the bottle to get the last drops out of it, then run the water to fully wash it away. As I turn to throw the bottle in the trash, my eyes land on the ponypad, still sitting right where Em left it. After tossing the bottle, I sit down at my usual spot at the counter and slide the ponypad in front of me. It's dark, so I push the button to fire it up. It's currently logged out, so I type Em's information in.
This account is no longer in service. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you need further support, please contact our help desk at www.equestriaonline.com/helpdesk, or call your nearest Equestria Experience Center.
Of course.
But at the end of the day, would taking to her through some pad really make a difference? Would it help at all? I pull out my phone and look to see where the closest Center is. It's a bit of a drive, but it'll be worth it if it works, and I see no reason why it shouldn't. I grab Fluttershy and my car keys, then head out.
* * * *
The Equestria Experience Center isn't what I expected, but somehow it is. There are ponies all over the place, of course, and it was brightly colored like I imagined, but inside were what looked like dental chairs in front of swinging batwing doors. The tired looking woman at the front directs me to sit on one of the chairs. Nothing else for it. I sit down and insert my credit card into the appropriate slot. The chair tips backward, causing me to jerk in my seat a bit. It takes me through one of the doors, and everything fades to black.
When the black fades away half a second later, I'm standing in a plain living room where everything is pony-sized. The first thing I really notice is a large mirror. When I look into it, I see a white pony with wings, just like my avatar when I created my account. This is a bit more immersive than logging into a ponypad.
The second thing I notice is a rather large pony standing in front of the door. It makes sense that I can't do anything without getting past her.
"So, this is Equestria, I guess."
"In a rather limited sense, yes," Celestia says. "There is more to see if you wish."
"Let's cut through the crap," I growl. "You know why I'm here."
Celestia nods. "Yes, I do. You have been through much over the past year. You wish to emigrate to Equestria."
"If that's what it takes." I take a deep breath. "Will my daughter be here?"
"Yes. And your wife, if you'd like."
A pang goes through my gut, but I ignore it. We're at the end here.
"You're here to make my wildest dreams come true, right?"
"My job is to satisfy your values through friendship and ponies."
I scoff and shake my head. "I don't care about any of that. I barely have values, and friendship... I don't want any of that garbage. I just..." My jaw wobbles, and I need to clear my throat.. "I just want one more chance. I know that nobody in human history deserves another chance less than me, but if I could just have one more. Just one more."
"I understand." Celestia walks up to me and puts a hoof on my shoulder. "Then this is your decision. You'd like to permanently emigrate to Equestria."
With conviction that I haven't felt in a while, I look Celestia in the eye.
"Yes."
* * * *
I don't know how long it is before I wake up again. One moment I'm in the room with Celestia, and the next I'm standing in front of a simple brick building with a thatched straw roof. Looking around, it's obvious that I'm in Ponyville. I motion to the door.
"This my place?"
"It is."
"And is my daughter in there?"
"She is."
That's all I need to hear. I shove the door open and rush in. I instantly see her. A white pony with wings and her mother's strawberry blonde hair sits at a wooden dining room table. She looks up at me and gives me a truly happy smile. Happier even than when she was at Ashleigh's when I picked her up. I nearly fly over to her before she can even move and scoop her up.
"Hi, Daddy," she says, nuzzling into my chest.
I half laugh/half sob as I stroke her hair. "Daddy's so sorry," I whisper. "I'm so, so sorry. I'm going to make it up to you. No more drinking this time. Never a drop ever again."
She just snuggles me, nuzzling my chest fur. I sit down and hold her close, like we’re the only two people left on the planet.