//------------------------------// // 22. The Invitation: I (rw) // Story: Tales of the Oppressed // by Terran34 //------------------------------// Erratic Tune idly sips from his sugary fruit cocktail from behind the bar, bobbing his head to the rousing electric beat that fills the club. In front of him, the place is cram-packed with ponies dancing, socializing, and overall cutting loose after the humdrum of the day-to-day. Waiters and waitresses dash in a frenzy among the crowd to get the various customers their orders, while the bartenders mix the drinks as fast as the waiters can pick them up. Erratic Tune hums approvingly as one of his more seasoned employees swoops in to grab a drink tray from the bar and expertly maneuvers to the opposite side of the club, making a mental note to give everyone a small raise in appreciation. At the far end of the bar, across a packed dance floor illuminated by LEDs, is tonight’s performers, a Magical Dance Music group that call themselves Pon-dulum. They aren’t bad, but Erratic finds himself wishing for a different type of music from time to time. To that end, he taps the rough draft of a flyer for a tentative musical festival with his quill, chewing softly on its end while he ponders what names to fill in for the attending bands. One of the bartenders taps him on the shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Mr. Tune?” he says with a smirk, indicating the front door with a hoof. “Check it out. Looks like Lady Sunny Side is here.” “Is she now?” Erratic turns to the front door, where the doors to his club open to admit another group of ponies. Among them is a mature snow-white unicorn with a scroll over a blazing sun cutie mark that always catches Erratic Tune’s eye. Her neatly groomed mane is a pastel pink and orange that cascades down one side of her face, meshing well with her soft purple eyes that seem to gaze right into the soul. “All yours, boss. I’ll make sure the staff leaves you alone,” the bartender says with a knowing wink.  “Good stallion!” Erratic bumps hooves with the bartender amiably and moves to the bar with a spring in his step just as Sunny Side approaches. He waves away the server that was moving to meet with her and takes his place, beaming at the mare. “Evening, Sunny Side. I have to say, you look as stunning as ever,” he greets her with a dip of his head. Sunny Side lets out a demure chuckle. “Why, thank you, Erratic, you old flatterer.” Her confident, motherly voice fills him with that strange sense of calm she always seems to carry with her. She takes a seat at the bar, every movement efficient, yet elegant. “It seems like it has been a busy night for you.” “It’s the Friday night crowds. You’re typically here earlier in the week, so I bet you’ve never seen them,” Erratic Tune explained with a wave of his hoof. “To what do we owe this special occasion? Nothing bad, I hope.” “The events at the castle as of late have been particularly stressful, so I was hoping to get some of your famous fruit cocktails,” Sunny Side explains, her horn lighting up a golden yellow and levitating a few bits onto the bar.  “I can most certainly oblige you there. If there’s anything I can do, it’s help ponies take a load off, especially lovely mares like yourself,” Erratic flashes her a wide winning smile, earning another pleased chuckle from her. He makes for the fruit juice taps, gently ushering the bartender out of the way. “The usual?” “Yes please.” Sunny Side confirms. A minute later, Erratic Tune returns with her order and slides the glass right into her telekinetic grip. Sunny Side takes a sip and then sighs contentedly. “Excellent as always. So how has business been recently?” “Oho, I’m glad you asked! You see...” From there, Erratic Tune and Sunny Side engage in small talk, with the former dominating most of the conversation while the latter listens politely, taking occasional sips from her cocktail. As the bartender had promised, none of the other staff came close to the two of them during this time, and the conversation slowly shifts towards the festival Erratic had been working on. “I want to ‘wow’ my customers. I want them leaving this bar thinking ‘now that is a performance!’” Erratic Tune sweeps his hoof across the entirety of the bar, acting out his imaginary customer. “It will be unlike anything anyone has seen. I’ve already decided on Tera and the Blazing Medley, that upcoming alternative rock band Writers of the Rise, and even a jazz group that impressed me the other night, but I’m missing just one more. I could go with one of my various MDM contacts, but I want something new.” “Something new, hmm?” Sunny Side rubs her chin briefly in thought. “Why not ask somepony less well-known?” “I could, but they’re always a gamble. If I pick the wrong band, it reflects poorly on my business,” Erratic Tune expresses helplessly.  “I believe it is worth taking a chance on somepony, even if you do not get the results you desire,” Sunny Side advises him sagely. “Fortunately, I think I have just the pony in mind if you care to listen.” “Always. You always listen so attentively to me.”  Sunny Side leans in with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I happen to know of a young mare based in Ponyville who makes use of various foreign cultures to influence her music. She may fit your requirement for ‘something new.’” Erratic Tune reached for his quill and a roll of parchment. “Well, color me interested. Give me the name.” “So, are you going to wake up sometime today?”  I’m suddenly awoken by Vinyl’s teasing words from outside my room. The floor shudders gently with the rumbling of the dryer out in the hall. A brief glance at the floor reveals that the clothes I’d lazily discarded last night have been picked up. “Would you blame me if I didn’t?” I mutter, forcing myself to rise. I wince, my body feeling as sore as ever. Man, it would be nice if I had at least one day where I didn’t hurt like hell.  “Not really, no. We were up waaay past midnight.” I hear the washer lid slam shut and rumble to life. “What did you think of your welcome party? We went all out for that one.” I climb out of bed. A quick glance out the window confirms that Ponyville is once again draped in a layer of snow. “I suppose it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it was going to be.” “Pfff, would it kill you to give a compliment?” Vinyl returns wryly, looking up from her laundry as I walk out into the hall.  “Probably.” I deadpan, causing her to roll her eyes. “I’m meeting with Cheeriliee today. We were supposed to meet weeks ago, but then I landed in the hospital.” “Yeah, that does tend to throw a wrench into things,” Vinyl comments dryly as she neatly folds one of my shirts. “Speaking of which, don’t you have magic now? You gonna try to learn how to use it, cast a few spells?” “Probably not,” I answer, wincing at the thought. Vinyl quirks a brow at me. “Why not? Just look at all the cool things you can do with it.”   “Vinyl, last time I used it I basically exploded.”  “Got me there, but that shouldn’t happen again. That’s what you went through all that therapy for,” she points out. “They told me it was all experimental, uncharted territory. For all I know, I’ll explode into smaller chunks the next time. I’m not risking it.” My brother would kill me if he knew what I was passing up. “Besides, I’ve gotten this far without it. In the end, I don’t need it.” “Dang. Well, if you’re sure. I guess it is your decision,” Vinyl replied with a shrug. “I know Twilight Sparkle would probably teach you in a heartbeat.” “Yeah, that’s also what I’m afraid of,” I retort with a shudder. “Just thinking about sitting through a lecture with her sounds like an absolute nightmare.” “Hah. Rainbow would agree with you,” Vinyl snickers. She lifts the stack of laundry she’d just finished folding onto a shelf above the washer and dryer. “Anyway, come on downstairs and I’ll throw together something for food. Then you can do what you’re going to do. I’m probably going to spend some time out with Noteworthy and Fiddly Twang. They’ve been wanting to hang out for a while.” “Doesn’t matter to me.” After breakfast, I don a jacket and open the front door, only to nearly run right into a brown stallion pegasus that’s standing just outside, his back laden with saddlebacks filled to bursting with envelopes and scrolls. “...can I help you?” The stallion looks taken aback by my appearance, but he manages to quickly shake it off. “Looking for one ‘Seth Rogers’? Got a high priority letter for him here.” Now he has my full attention. “That’s me. What’s this letter?” Before I can puzzle out who the sender might be, my questions are answered when the stallion hoofs over an envelope adorned with a fancy golden seal in the shape of the sun. I take the letter with a shaking hand. “That’s...oh my gosh.” “A letter from the princess, eh? Guess you’ve got some important friends. You take care now,” the stallion gives me a respectful nod and then takes to the skies to his next delivery. “What’s up, dude?” Vinyl asks, approaching from behind. She spots the envelope in my hand and her jaw drops. “Is that what I think it is?!” “Son of a-” I cut off and rub my forehead, feeling the beginnings of a stress headache forming. “This is the last thing I needed.” “Calm down. It’s probably nothing bad. Come on, let’s go back to the table and I’ll read it for you,” Vinyl offers.  Once we’re both seated at the dining table, I pass the envelope over to Vinyl, who opens it up and unfolds the letter inside. “Princess Celestia writes so fancy,” she says with a whistle. “Just read the letter, please.” Vinyl nods and clears her throat.  ‘Dear Seth Rogers—I hope this letter finds you well. It has been some time since we last spoke, and I wish it were under better circumstances. Word has reached me of the events in the Everfree Forest. I extend my heartfelt apologies for the injuries you sustained at the claws of the Scorpio. It was the responsibility of the guard detachment to deal with the Constellation; as such you should never have had to confront it yourself. In regards to the above, I would like to extend an invitation; would you care to visit Canterlot for a weekend sometime? I would love a chance to speak with you again about your experiences in Equestria thus far, such as any possible progress towards making friends. In particular, I’m curious about the magic you possess and, if you wouldn’t mind, would appreciate a chance to see it for myself. Such a visit would give you the opportunity to see the capital of our fair nation. If you're interested, I will handle any and all expenses involved. Your loving friend, Princess Celestia.' Vinyl’s eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she finishes reading the letter “Ohmigosh, Seth. You just got invited to Canterlot by Princess Celestia!” she squees in a high-pitched voice. In contrast, my head rests securely in my hands in dismay. “I can’t believe this,” I groan, the forming headache lodging itself firmly in my skull.  “This is great! Do you know how expensive it is to do anything in Canterlot!? And you get to see the Princesses! I’m soooo jealous, dude!” she says, practically bouncing in her chair with excitement.  “You have no reason to be,” I tell her. “I’m turning her down.” “What!?” Vinyl looks at me as though I’ve grown a second head. “How could you...but she...Canterlot...Princess Celestia!” She spreads out her hooves as if anything in that jumbled nonsense was supposed to make sense. “Exactly. There’s no way this is for some cordial sightseeing visit.” I lean back in my chair and cross my arms. “This is Princess Celestia. One of two rulers that run the entire country. She must have countless responsibilities to attend to; every single moment of her time has to be spent carefully.” “Okay, so what?” “So she’s planning on inviting me, someone she’s only met once, for a weekend free at the capital? If the flag were any redder, it wouldn’t be visible to the naked eye. It’s like if the President of the United States asked me to spend a weekend at the White House when I’ve done nothing to earn it!” I stand up from the table and scratch my neck with both hands, exhaling deeply in an attempt to vent my stress. “There’s no way this isn’t about my race.” “I have no idea what any of those things are, but this is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Vinyl scowls at me disapprovingly. “You’re seriously gonna stand here and accuse the Princess of trying to use you? Dude, she clearly just wants to check up on you and see what your magic’s all about.” “Wrong. Sure I got hurt, and maybe I have magic. But ponies get hurt every day, and magic is as normal as breathing to you ponies. I shouldn’t be any different.” I shake my head firmly. “No, this isn’t some friendly visit. She wants something out of me, and I am not going to fall for it.” “This is getting ridiculous.” Vinyl gets to her hooves, her nostrils flaring in anger. “Let’s say you’re right. So what? What do you expect her to do that’s so bad that you’re willing to spit in the face of the princess’s generosity? “Generosity doesn’t exist. There is always an angle. Always. One hundred percent. And don’t you glare at me; you know I’m right,” I express sternly.  “I’ll glare if I want, because generosity totally exists; you’re just being overly paranoid. Again.”  “For good reason. I couldn’t care less about what the princess wants. She has plenty of other lackeys at her disposal to use. I am not one of them, nor am I her ‘loving friend’.” I retort mockingly. “If she wanted something from me, she should’ve come right out and said it. Maybe then I’d give it a thought before turning her down.” Finally, Vinyl loses her composure. “Okay, enough of this. Stop dodging my question and actually tell me what you’re so worried about.”  “Were you not listening? I don’t trust authority figures at all. The better question is why do ponies always leap to the princess’s defense with such blind faith, when in reality questioning authority is not only the smart thing to do, but necessary to stop oppression.” I shoot right back at her. “I can’t fathom why you don’t understand that.” “That’s because Princess Celestia has done nothing but look out for us for over a thousand years.” Vinyl jabs a hoof at me emphatically. “She is the kindest pony anyone’s ever known and everypony knows that; even rulers of other countries respect her. What I don’t get is how you’ve even met her and you’re still trying to paint her as some kind of evil ruler!” A surge of anger rushes through me at the reminder of my last meeting with the princess when she single-handedly stole my reason to live, but I force myself to suppress it. “Any ruler is skilled in the art of deception. It’s a necessary part of being a politician,” I say with a stiff shrug. “All she had to offer were words, and that’s not enough.” “Dear Celestia, it’s like talking to a brick wall.” Vinyl plants her face into her hoof, growling out her frustration. “This habit you have of thinking the worst of ponies without even trying to know them is the worst thing about you.” “Excuse me for trying to protect myself,” I respond, offended. “Either way, she was inviting me, so it’s my decision, and I choose to decline.” Vinyl grits her teeth and exhales through her nose. “I think you’re being an idiot. If I were her, I’d be offended. And think about this: If you’re right and she’s as bad as you say, do you really want to offend her?” “She’ll be fine. She’s taken worse from me before,” I say dismissively. “If this does come back to bite me, I’ll accept whatever consequences that come with that. It wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened.” “You know, maybe that should tell you something about yourself,” Vinyl counters sharply. She walks past me in a huff on her way to the door. “I’m going out. I can’t handle any more of your nonsense right now.” “Alright, see you,” I say with a dismissive shrug. Vinyl steps outside and slams the door behind her. I get up from the table and set the letter aside. It’s unlikely I’ll ever touch it again. After waiting several minutes by the door, I take to the streets of Ponyville amidst a soft dusting of snow falling from the cloudy skies. I breathe in the frosty air and sigh in contentment, finding the cold weather a welcome sensation.  I walk down the streets without any particular destination, still pondering the potential consequences of declining Celestia’s invitation. For a brief moment I consider bringing up the matter to Rainbow Dash, but I just as quickly decide against it. Every single pony I’ve met appears to worship the very ground the princesses walk upon; it’s likely I’d just end up in another argument. While the school day wraps up, I decide to pass the time walking around Ponyville to get a feel for where everything is. It’s not right that I’ve been living here for a month and still don’t know most of what the town has to offer. As I walk around, I notice several pegasi and unicorns working together to decorate the town with leafy wreaths and multicolored lights. I even spot Rarity amongst their number, directing a group of pegasi who struggle to place a thick cord of tinsel decorated with bells and candy canes along the rooftops of buildings. My meandering path takes me to downtown Ponyville, where a variety of shops line either side of the streets. The identifying signs for each are nothing but scribbles to me, and cursory glances at various windows don’t shed much light on their wares.  I find myself spending some time in the only store I recognize—the music store. Noteworthy doesn’t appear to be here; instead, an unfamiliar mare is running the store in his place. I barely respond to her friendly greeting, choosing instead to peruse the small selection of instruments lining the walls.  Ultimately I’m unable to afford any of them, so all I do is stare longingly at the electric guitars. Though I suppose they’re called magical guitars, given that they’re powered via the crystal orb set into the frame. Approaching one of the guitars, I tenderly run my fingers along the crystal, feeling it gently pulsating beneath my touch. My fingers curl around the orb and tug on it, but I manage to stop before I accidentally remove it.  I turn my body and tap on the orb within view of the shopkeeper. “Tell me where I may find more of these.”  The mare looks up from the ledger, taken aback by my commanding tone. “T-The crystal cores? You can find them basically anywhere, especially at the general store. There’s also an art store that specializes in crystals that sells them on the side too.” After receiving directions to the latter, I thank the shopkeeper tersely and make a beeline for the art store. A smattering of pegasi flies overhead as I reach the shop in question. There’s little to set the shop apart from the others aside from the sign, which is marked with the image of a cloud made from crystal. The inside is little more than a rectangular room with a counter and cash register just inside to my right, where a unicorn mare with crystal earrings scribbles something down in her notebook with a quill, her glasses perched on the tip of her muzzle. Wooden shelves displaying a large variety of artistic crystalline sculptures and etchings stretch along both walls to my left and right, while similarly constructed partitions dot the center of the shop, filled with jewelry and other assorted knickknacks. The mare spots me and promptly shoves her notebook out of view. She gazes curiously at me for several moments before greeting me with a bright smile. “Welcome to Frosty’s Crystal Emporium! Please, take a look at our art and let me know if you’re interested in anything!” “These art of a stupendous quality. My compliments to the sculptor.” My eyes roam hungrily over the shelves as I make my way deeper into the store. Some sculptures are simple, depicting ponies in various poses such as a pegasus in flight or a unicorn casting a spell. Others are more complex, such as the contoured shape of what I assume to be a minotaur complete with chiseled muscles and sharp horns, or a large colored figure of Princess Celestia in full royal regalia. There are also slabs of crystal decorated with various engravings that appear to be within the slab itself. I spend time taking in each individual piece of art and the glimmers of light refracting through the crystal. One hand grasps at my regretfully light bag of bits as I picture how each sculpture might look atop my desk.  As I stand before the final partition, my eyes alight on the carefully arranged crystal cores displayed in colorful boxes. Unable to stop myself, I reach both hands into the box to get a closer look. “Hello, Seth! What are you doing here?” Flitter’s surprised voice startles me back to reality, the pegasus walking inside with a paper bag tucked into her saddlebags. “Uh…” I look down at my hands still buried in the box of crystals cores and quickly withdraw them in embarrassment. “Just looking around, really. Lost track of time.” “Oh?” Flitter walks up to join me with curiosity brimming in her eyes. “Are you interested in art?”   My eyes turn to the sculptures once more, the light glinting tantalizingly off their faceted surfaces. “I didn’t think so, but something about these catches my eye. I don’t know what it is.” “They are pretty, aren’t they?” Flitter beams. She moves over to the shelves and points to a milky blue crystal sculpture depicting two nondescript pegasi wheeling about a cumulus cloud. “I’ve had my eye on this one for a few months. It reminds me of my sister. I can’t afford it just yet, but I might try and get it for her in time for Hearth’s Warming Eve in a couple of weeks.” “For what now?” Flitter gasps and looks at me with realization sparking in her eyes. “Oh, of course, you wouldn’t know! You’re not from Equestria, right?” An excited smile crosses her face. “Eeeee, you’re going to experience your first Hearth’s Warming! It’ll be such a magical experience!” “That’s all well and good, but what is it?” I demand impatiently. “Does it have anything to do with what all those ponies are doing outside with the lights and tinsel?” “I’m sorry, I’m just so excited for you!” Flitter squeals happily. “Hearth’s Warming Eve is a holiday celebrating the founding of Equestria. We give gifts to our friends and family and have a giant party in the evening. There’s also the great pageant in Canterlot!”  “Are you actually serious? That’s literally just Christmas.”  “Chrissmiss?” Flitter tilts her head to one side curiously. “You have something similar where you come from?” “Yeah. It’s to celebrate something different, but the traditions are suspiciously the same. We even use lights, tinsel, and wreaths,” Hundreds of questions spill into my head at this impossible coincidence. “What, do you also erect and decorate a tree?” Flitter nods enthusiastically. “Yes! That’s my favorite part! The earth ponies work together to bring in a really big tree for the square, us pegasi decorate it, and the unicorns power it!” “I...have so many questions.” I run a hand down my face, a groan escaping me. This is either a great practical joke from the universe thousands of years in the making, or ponies stole things from our ruins that should’ve died off ages ago. “Do you also sing carols?” “Yup! Some of them have been around for hundreds of years!” “Hang stockings on your fireplaces?” “So we can fill them with smaller gifts!”  “Watch related movies?” “Every night with my sister until the day of!” “Put out milk and cookies for Santa?” “...For who?” “Big guy in red who jumps down the chimney to deliver gifts,” I explain. “Jolly, fat, goes ‘ho, ho, ho’?” Flitter looks completely and utterly lost. “I don’t think we have that one. We give our gifts to each other, nopony delivers them.” “Thank goodness. This already barely makes sense but I would’ve lost it at pony St. Nick.” I note Flitter’s confused expression. “Don’t worry about it. It’s part of what started the holiday in our culture. What makes no sense is why you have an almost exact holiday.” “Maybe somepony traveled to your country and spread our culture there?” Flitter guesses with a shrug.  “Ponies can’t come to my country,” I state flatly. Well one pony did, but he was more interested in omnicide than spreading holiday cheer. “I guess it’s just something else I’ll have to chalk up to the list of things I can’t explain.” “Try asking Twilight Sparkle! If anypony knows, it’s her!” Flitter suggests.  “I don’t care enough to find out. I was just surprised, is all,” I say, shaking my head. “I’ll figure out what to do about the holiday when it gets here. In the meantime, I should get out of this store. I can’t afford anything in here anyway.” “Want to walk together? I still have some shopping left to do,” Flitter offers, gazing at me hopefully. She quails somewhat when I meet her gaze. “I mean, unless you have something else to do. I don’t want to keep you.” “...I’m compelled to ask why you’d want me to come with.” “I just want some company is all. You can leave whenever you want,” Flitter answers, taken aback by my question. “I feel like you have better options, but whatever. I don’t have anything else to do except visit the schoolhouse once school ends.” Despite my less than enthused response, Flitter’s face lights up, making me wonder if it was worth saying yes after all. I can’t imagine she’ll enjoy herself around me. “Alright! Let me finish my purchase here and then we can go!” Flitter picks up a few of the smaller crystal cores from the partition near us, quickly pays for them, and then the two of us leave the store.  As we leave, Flitter fishes out several dull crystal cores from her saddlebags and dumps them in a bin by the front door. When I question her, she explains that crystal cores need to be switched out when they run out of magic. The old depleted cores are either recharged by their unicorn friends or recycled and recharged by storekeepers and later resold for cheap. I can’t help but imagine what it would have been like if we humans had the innate ability to recharge our batteries—our bills would have gone way down. “Over there is Flowers and Snacks, where the flower ponies work,” Flitter says, pointing to a shop where if a surface isn’t covered by bundles of flowers for sale, it’s covered by floral patterns instead. The three ponies I met at the party—Daisy, Lily, and Rose—are there as the owners, selling various Hearth’s Warming Eve-related bouquets.  “Flowers...and Snacks?” I repeat, only for my implicit question to be immediately answered by a pony chomping down on the bouquet of flowers they just purchased. “Right...ponies eat flowers.” “Humans don’t?” Flitter asks curiously. “We can, but most flowers are bad for our health. Don’t ask about our diet, you won’t like the answer,” I caution her. “That just makes me more curious, but I won’t press you,” Flitter remarks accommodatingly. I give her a wry stare. Twilight took it well when I talked about my species’ carnivorous side, but I doubt Flitter would. As we walk down the road, Flitter points out each individual shop. “There’s the toy store over there! There’s Pick of the Patch, and that’s Hay’s Hardware!” Just as a tantalizing sweet smell drifts to my nostrils, Flitter points out what’s clearly a candy shop. “That’s Sweeter than Sugar, Bon Bon’s shop. Want to grab some candy while we’re here?” “I’d rather not see Bon Bon right now,” I say with a grimace. “Or ever.” “Oh...that’s right. I forgot you two don’t get along,” Flitter wilts for a moment, but perks back up upon seeing the next shop. “Nevermind then. Come over here, I actually need to go into this one.” “Alright. I’ll wait outside then.” I spot a bench in front of the store and move to sit down.  “I’ll be quick!” Flitter dips into the building. She emerges after a few minutes, another paper bag tucked into her saddlebags beside the first. “Thanks for waiting. This is Quills and Sofas, by the way!” Flitter reveals. She giggles as my brow slowly rises. “Yes, really! He only sells those two things!” “I’m going to take a wild guess and say that unless you bought the world’s smallest sofa, you went in for quills,” I deadpan. Flitter giggles again and she reaches for her bag. “I swear, please do not pull out a tiny sofa.” “I almost wish I had one; that would have been cute.” Flitter produces one of the quills she bought to show me. “I ran out of quills recently. Mine always break when I’m in the middle of—” Flutter breaks off, flushing and hiding her face behind her mane. “—W-When I’m in the middle of something.” I raise a brow at her brief change in demeanor. “Don’t ponies have pencils?” “W-We do, but they smudge easily and I don’t like the way they splinter in my mouth,” Flitter says with a grimace, sticking her tongue out in disgust. “I prefer soft quills for writing. The only downside is how often they break.” “That’s why I never use them if I can help it.” I don’t know what a weather pony would need with so many writing utensils, but I choose not to ask her despite my curiosity. I glance to the sky, noting the position of the sun. “So is that all you need?” “Mhm, I’m done. I need to get back home so Cloud Chaser and I can start decorating our house for Hearth’s Warming Eve!” Flitter says, bouncing in place excitedly. “You said you needed to visit the schoolhouse, right? I think school lets out soon.” “That’s right. I’m supposed to meet with Cheerilee so I can finally learn how to read your language,” I remark. The thought of sitting back with a good book under a shady tree sounds lovely, but I’ve no doubt it’s going to be a long struggle before that vision becomes a reality. Flitter nods understandingly. “Okay. Take care, and good luck with miss Cheerilee!” With one last wave, she spreads her wings and takes flight, grunting somewhat as she lifts the extra weight into the air with her. “I’ll make sure to get you something nice for Hearth’s Warming!” “Yeah yeah,” I turn the other direction and walk away, before whirling back around as what she said sinks in. “Wait, what? No! Do not do that! Flitter! Do you hear me? Do not get me anything!” I glare at her as she passes beyond my field of vision. I swear if she gets me any gifts I’m returning them. With that thought in mind, I turn back to downtown Ponyville and stomp along the usual path to the school. As all the foals are leaving for the day, I make my way inside, to where Cheerilee is cleaning up for the day. Upon hearing my footfalls on the wooden floor, she glances over her shoulder. “Good evening, Seth. I’m glad you came to see me today,” Cheerilee turns around and sets out a chair just in front of the desk. “Please, sit. Are you ready to start learning Equestrian?” I relax into the offered seat, eager to give my body a chance to rest after being on my feet all afternoon. “I am, but first we need to work out the logistics of the rest of our arrangement.  I want to know what sort of schedule I’ll be looking at.”  Cheerilee nods and sits down on her haunches just behind her desk. “Let’s start there then. What does your week look like?” she asks, producing a calendar from a thick folder brimming with sheaves of paper divided by tabs. “I need at least four days to work on the farm in order to make my rent. Apart from that, Vinyl Scratch has me working for her some evenings, often without much warning. Can you work with that?” “If you aren’t always available in the evening, scheduling tutoring sessions in advance like I originally suggested might be difficult. Maybe I could have you working under me during the day as a student-teacher instead?” Cheerilee offers. I blink, taken aback by her suggestion. “Is something wrong?” “No, I just wasn’t expecting it. Remember that I’m educated, but I don’t have any experience educating,” I remind her, inwardly shuddering at the thought of spending entire days trapped in a room with foals, Diamond Tiara included. “I understand that, but having an extra pair of hooves around would give me more time to cover the material,” Cheerilee reassures me. “I wouldn’t expect you to take over, but little things like helping the little ones out while they’re working or tidying up their messes can go a long way!” A wave of relief rushes through me upon hearing that. As much as I dislike the idea of having all eyes on me during a classroom environment, at least it’s better than one-on-one tutoring sessions. If fate hates me enough to stick me in a room alone with Diamond Tiara, who knows what fresh hell might have occurred. “Alright, I think I can handle that. I’d have to work verbally though—until I can read and write.”  “Of course! As an added bonus, once you’re fluent in our language you can help me grade their assignments. Though by that point, I’d likely pay you for the trouble,” Cheerilee offers with a placid smile.  I nod, finding that agreeable. “It would be nice to take a break from farm work every now and then.” “I can imagine! By the way, are you still okay with speaking to my class about your species? I wanted to be sure before I worked it into my curriculum,” Cheerilee questions.  I freeze briefly and then let out a heavy sigh. “About that. I said I would, but there’s something you need to be aware of if you ever want me to talk about our history.” “Oh? What’s that?” “Human history is not...pretty. I’ll spare the details, but we were constantly at each other’s throats, and the kinds of atrocities we were capable of...well, I doubt there’s many ponies that can handle hearing about it, much less foals.” Visibly disturbed, Cheerilee gazes down at the desk, swallowing nervously. “O-Oh...I see. H-How violent are talking?” “Pretend that your largest history book is nothing but gratuitous descriptions of various wars,” I tell her flatly as she blanches. “Now pretend that that book is just a fraction of our history.” “That’s terrible. Did humans not know anything about peace and friendship?!” Cheerilee questions desperately.  “Supposedly we did, but it was typically short-lived. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to be born in a relatively peaceful time, just over half a century after a war that was so bad that humanity as a whole realized they couldn’t have a conflict like that again,” I reveal to her, causing her to exhale in relief. “I’m sure I can find some equally interesting things about us, but history is more or less off the table.” “I’m inclined to agree with you after hearing something like that,” Cheerilee shudders. “No wonder you sounded so uncomfortable when I first brought it up. I’m terribly sorry.” “You don’t need to apologize for my species. Most of them often leave much to be desired,” I assure her with a shrug.  “I suppose we’re hardly perfect either; we ponies have had times of conflict before, but nothing on the scale you’ve described for a thousand years,” Cheerilee expresses. “We’re very lucky to have Princess Celestia. I can’t imagine what we’d be like without her.” “So I keep hearing.” Here I find yet another pony swearing by Princess Celestia. “Rest assured, I won’t bring up any of our conflicts. If it makes you feel better, you can clear whatever I can talk about first.” “It very much would.” Cheerilee manages to shake off her aversion, putting an awkward smile on her face. “In any case, I’m sorry again for bringing up an uncomfortable subject for you. Perhaps we should move on to scheduling. Are you open on Mondays and Thursdays?” “I should be. I’ll have to clear it with Applejack, but that should be just enough for me to break even,” I say, resolving not to spend a single bit of what’s currently in my bag. I’ll need that buffer until I start earning money working with Cheerilee. “Okay. I’ll write you in for then.” Cheerilee picks up a pencil with her mouth and scribbles something in Equestrian in her calendar. “If you ever need to deviate from the schedule, please let me know in advance.” “Man, imagine if all employers were anywhere near this reasonable,” I comment, briefly recalling my time working a dead-end summer job in a department store. “So, when do we start our lessons?” “Right now, if you’d like. I have no plans for this evening, and my lesson plan for you is right here!” Cheerilee taps the folder she’d retrieved earlier. “I’m willing to spend a few hours to get you started on your first assignment.” “Assignment? You gave me homework, didn’t you?” I deadpan.  Cheerilee’s eyes sparkle with mirth at my words. “Of course I did! What sort of teacher do you think I am?” “Clearly not a merciful one.” Cheerilee clicks her tongue chidingly. “Now Seth, how are you going to commit any of this to memory if you don’t practice some due diligence outside of the classroom?” She chuckles at my expense as my eyes roll.  Cheerilee opens up the folder and lays out several sheets of paper. The first one she presents consists of several empty boxes on the left side, each accompanied by a row of repeated Equestrian symbols on the right. “First, let’s start with the basics: the Equestrian Primary Alphabet. I’m going to sound out each of these symbols to you, and I’d like you to write the human equivalent beside it so you can get used to associating them in your mind...” With our first lesson complete, Cheerilee sends me home with a folder filled with various practice worksheets to complete, along with a thin picture book to assist me in associating Equestrian words to objects.  By the time I get home, I’m so tired that I don’t want anything to do with letters. Vinyl doesn’t appear to be home, so I trudge upstairs, set the worksheets on my desk, and wash up for bed. The following morning, I wake up to find Princess Celestia’s letter tucked under my door. “Smooth, Vinyl. Still not accepting it.” I grab the letter and lackadaisically toss it beside the study materials. Breakfast is a quiet affair. Vinyl looks like she’d been up late last night, so she spends the meal hunched over her coffee with bags under her eyes. After finding out that she has no gigs for the near future, I finish my meal and take a trip to Sweet Apple Acres to visit Applejack and let her know about the new arrangement.  Applejack is initially surprised by my decision to split time between the farm and the school, but when she hears that it’s so I can learn to read, she becomes fully supportive, claiming that what I do is more or less paid volunteer work, so I should feel free to adjust my schedule as I see fit as long as I keep her up to speed. With that taken care of, I return back to Vinyl’s house and head to the music room, eager to brush up on my skills for the first time in nearly two weeks. Homework can wait until my hands are too raw to pluck the strings. Monday morning is an interesting experience, given that I find myself walking to school behind a crowd of colts and fillies. I can’t help but notice their interest and apprehension when it becomes clear I’m walking to the schoolhouse with them. Diamond Tiara in particular stays well away in front of the pack, though her friend Silver Spoon does wave hesitantly when she catches my eye. As we reach the schoolhouse, I slow down and wait by the door while Cheerilee watches the students take their seats from her desk. As the students file in, she blows the steam off a cup of morning coffee and places it next to an empty paper plate littered with crumbs  “Good morning, everypony!” Cheerilee greets her students brightly. She gets to her hooves, her gaze briefly passing over me at the door before focusing on the students. She dips beneath her desk and pulls out a platter of cookies. “I hope everypony had a lovely Sunday. As you know, Hearth’s Warming Eve is coming up in a little over a week, so Pinkie and I brought everypony cookies! Please, come line up and help yourself! Only one cookie per pony, please!” The foals cheer as they leap out of their desks and stampede up to the back of the schoolhouse. While the students are busy getting their hooves on Pinkie’s latest masterpiece, Cheerilee approaches me by the door. “Thanks for coming. I assume Applejack was okay with you taking today off?” “No, I came here without telling her, so she’s probably about to come knocking on your door with an army of angry farmers and cattle,” I retort sarcastically. Cheerilee quirks a brow with a lost expression. “I’m obviously kidding. Yes, she’s okay with it. You have me for the day.” Cheerilee laughs. “You have an interesting sense of humor. Anyhow, today we’ll start with something simple...provided you’ve done your homework. If you haven’t, then that’s what you’ll be doing.” “Don’t worry ‘mom’ I did my homework before goofing off,” I retort, producing a folder containing the finished worksheets from Saturday night. “I can’t believe you have two different writing systems. This isn’t going to be easy, is it?” “Nothing worthwhile ever is!” Cheerilee beams, accepting the worksheets from me. “In the meantime, because you said you didn’t have any experience educating others, I want you to sit with the class today and watch. Today is Equestrian spelling and grammar, so maybe you’ll pick up on a few things while you do so. If you have questions I’ll answer during break time.” “Makes sense. What are you going to do about the students though? I doubt they’ve had a human three times their size sitting in class with them before,” I remind her. “Let me take care of that. For now, find a seat and we’ll get started!” Cheerilee directs. I nod and scan the room, taking note of where all the ponies are sitting. Once I spot Diamond Tiara, I choose a spot in the back corner as far away as possible next to a very confused amethyst-colored filly. Cheerilee walks back to the table, where the students have thoroughly ransacked the plate of cookies, and clears her throat. “Everypony, I have a big announcement  regarding our human guest.” All at once,  the students look back and forth between her and me, speaking to one another in hushed tones. “From now on, Seth will be sitting in with us on Mondays and Thursdays. He’s in training to become a teacher assistant, so I hope you will all get along!” “Wait really?”  “No way!” “This is a little scary….” “Are you kidding me!?”  “Awesome!” The reactions I receive from the students are mixed, to say the least. Diamond Tiara in particular is aghast, while Sweetie Belle looks apprehensive and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo look like they just got told their holiday came early. I don’t miss the smug glance Apple Bloom gives to Diamond Tiara, who just growls in annoyance. With that, Cheerilee begins her lesson, turning to the chalkboard. “Now then, last Monday we just started learning about gerunds, so I’d like to continue where we left off; teaching you all how to properly use them in your writing! First, I’m going to write a few sentences...” The actual material of the lecture itself isn’t of much use to me; grammar was never my strong suit, and that was with a language that I understood. Instead, I do as I’m told and focus on Cheerilee herself and how she interacts with her students. The school day as a whole is structured similar to what I’d expect; the first half of the day consists of checking and going over the previous day’s homework, followed by a long lecture. Lunch and recess are combined together and occur around noon when the foals produce their packed lunches and eat them in the clearing outside or at their desk before frolicking at the accompanying playground behind the schoolhouse. The second half of the day is more hands-on, with Cheerilee passing out various worksheets and having the students work individually, while she walks around the room to assist them.  For the most part, Cheerilee herself handles the students well. When she’s teaching, she speaks in a clear voice that keeps the attention on her, but when answering questions or correcting mistakes, her tone becomes noticeably more down-to-earth and kind. While the foals are rambunctious and often loud, when it becomes too much Cheerilee cracks down firmly, without taking any excuses or grief before easing up once the message is clear. I can only marvel at her ability to balance the carrot and the stick. The whole affair isn’t as painful as I was expecting it to be. Watching students being genuinely eager to learn fills me with nostalgia for my days in grade school, learning was enjoyable and I still looked forward to coming to class. I’m not even as lost as Cheerilee and I expected I would be. While I can’t understand what’s being written on the chalkboard, I’m able to mostly follow along by listening to Cheerilee and filling in the blanks by context. I depart for home after a short conversation with Cheerilee at the end of the day with a fresh set of sheets to work through, this time on basic consonants and vowels. I have several days to work on them, so I plan to take tonight to rest and play some more music. I walk into the kitchen and pause in annoyance, noting the letter from Princess Celestia innocently sitting on the table. One of my eyes twitches at the sight. “Vinyl, I swear to god.” “Yeah? What’s up, dude?” Vinyl walks in the front door just behind me, hearing my growing annoyance from outside. She notices me looking at the letter and snickers. “Oh, would you look at that? You have a letter. From the Princess, it looks like!” “Vinyl, it’s the same letter.” “Oh is it? What kind of idiot would leave a letter from the princess lying around for two days?” Vinyl trots up beside me and brushes her chin as if in serious contemplation, her words filled with such smug innocence that I’m tempted to turn around and smack her. “Seriously dude, she’s Princess Celestia. She deserves at least a response.” “I’ll think about it, so quit shoving it in my face,” I pick up the letter and stash it with the rest of my homework. I glance back at her and notice another letter with a fancy seal clutched in her magical grip. “Looks like you’ve got mail of your own.” “Yeah. No idea what it is though,  just grabbed it out of the mailbox,” Vinyl lifts it up to show me. “Any ideas what sorta fancy-schmancy pony would want with me?” “Only one way to find out.” “True that.” Vinyl nods and glances at the cover. “Huh.” “What’s that reaction for?” “I have no idea who this pony is.” Vinyl admits, nonplussed. Her eyes scour the front of the letter till she finds the return address. “From the owner of the Angel’s Share, Erratic Tune.”