Fallen

by Rated Ponystar

Blind Loyalist

Growing up as a weak flyer, I was often subject to bullying. I barely had any friends growing up until I met one specific pony who, to this day, has been my longest and faithful friend until I ended it by making my choice to side with humanity. Rainbow Dash was the most loyal friend you could imagine. She'll never choose fame, glory, or wealth if it means sacrificing her friends to gain it. Sure, she was stubborn, egotistical, and cocky beyond all reason, which ended up getting her in trouble more than once. But if you were to fight side by side with somepony, she would be the one to have your back. Even before Twilight came to Ponyville and united us as the Elements of Harmony, I have always been one of Rainbow Dash's best friends. We've hung out together, helped each other out when needed, and supported each other through difficult times. She was the first pony I ever had as a friend, and I will always be grateful to her for that.

Of all the ponies I hurt when I left Equestria with the resistance, she was the most difficult to leave behind. Even more so than my own parents and brother. I can still remember the hurt, anger, and sorrow in her eyes as I told her that I was leaving Equestria. She even tried to stop me with force, but I had the foresight to ask Discord to be there to get us away in time. I can only imagine how that pain I caused has only increased since the war began to turn in humanity's favor. 

She was the one who knocked me out and is looking at me right now with such a glare that it screams to me that she personally wants to end my life right here and now. Rainbow Dash spits at the ground while huffing a storm. "I said I would bring you back."

"Yeah, I guess I should have known you always keep your promises," I say with a heavy sigh. "Even if it costs you."

"A lot of good Wonderbolts died trying to capture you," Rainbow Dash growls as she narrows her eyes to me. "Ponies who were much better in the end than you will ever be."

"If you're here to convince me to use my Element, you're doing a poor job of it," I say with a shake of my head. Leave it to Rainbow Dash to not be subtle. She just spits on the ground and starts to pace a bit while I stand with my best poker face.

The truth it's very nice to see her again. I haven't seen her or any of my friends since I joined the war. I always worried about what would happen if I had to face Rainbow, Twilight, or any other Princesses in combat at the battles I've been in. Not just because I know I would stand a snowball's chance in hell against them, but because I didn't like the idea of fighting my friends. Despite my resolve to help humanity and trained to be a combat medic, I still didn't like the idea of battling ponies I once called my best friends. 

Even if what we once had is shattered. 

"Believe me, if it wasn't for the fact that Princess Celestia and Twilight need you alive, I'd just kill you here right now." Rainbow Dash got in my face and snarled. "Everything is your fault."

"My fault?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"If you hadn't left, along with Discord, we would have never suffered all these defeats! We would be winning this war!" Rainbow Dash shouts, stomping her hoof. "Losing the barrier, not to mention all our dead friends and ponies we loved are gone thanks to you, that monkey bucking lover Lyra, and the rest of you traitors! Shining Armor. Luna. Cadence. Flurry Heart. Spitfire. Soarin. So many others I have fought with or knew in general? All of them are dead now because of you!" 

Rainbow Dash bit her lip and shook her head. "My parents are dead because of you..."

My eyes widen as I think about Dash's parents and wonder how that was possible. As far as I knew, there was no attack on Cloudsdale. "H-How did they-"

"They were in Australia," Rainbow Dash mentioned, biting her lip. "They liked the area and...they wanted to live there...when the barrier fell, and the humans came to retake their land...my parents were among the casualties that day."

"... I'm sorry," I whisper with sincereness. Rainbow Dash's parents were good ponies, and they were nice to me. I knew that I would hear such things as I continued to fight, but hearing this makes me weep inside. "I'm sorry about your parents, Rainbow Dash."

"Buck your apologies!" Rainbow Dash shouts as she pushes me to my bed. "I don't need to hear them from a traitor like you! You're not my friend! Not anymore! You made your choice! I at least have real friends who support me! They were there to comfort me when my parents died! Where were you?! Killing your fellow ponies?! Spilling our secrets to weaken us?! Or were you fooling around with that stupid human you sleep with?!"

"...I was healing both sides during the battle," I said, getting up and staring at her face to face. "I risked my life to travel battlefields, invasions, and more to get as many wounded humans and ponies to safety so I could save their lives. I've saved both sides, Rainbow Dash, and I cried for everyone I couldn't save. Think of me what you will, Rainbow Dash, but I do care about our fellow ponies. I joined Lyra and the rest to stop us from making this mistake. From doing something so horrible that I could never forgive myself for doing nothing based on what I saw."

"How is trying to save humanity by turning them into ponies horrible?! We were trying to help them by turning them from something evil into something good!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

I shook my head and sighed. "Rainbow Dash, do you really think that every human being in the entire world is evil? Every man, woman, child, elder, and even the babies? Are they all evil? Did they do anything wrong except try to have a peaceful life? I will not deny that there are bad humans out there, Rainbow Dash. Believe me, I've seen them, and I agree that they are horrible." 

There are still humans out there who think that ponies, in general, should just be wiped out from the face of the Earth. More the one human has cursed me, hated me, and wished I was dead. It's understandable, really. An alien race comes over from another dimension and decides to judge you for your entire existence before deciding you must be converted or purged. That everything about your species, from your culture to your entertainment, is seen as an abomination. That you and everything you stand for must be purified with the light of those who deem themselves superior to you. 

Not to mention some still commit horrible crimes like rape and murder. Not just to their own kind but even to ponies who aren't in Equestria. 

Yet, I have also seen so much good in them that I realize that I cannot judge a species simply because of these evil people. A lesson that Equestria has failed to learn. "But most humans I have known just want to live in peace. I have seen mothers tend to their children as they laugh and play, not knowing that there is an entire nation trying to force them to change into a form they have no control over or else be destroyed. I have seen enemies from opposite countries come together as brothers and sisters, united in faith and determination, to protect their homes and families from those who think they are scum the moment they are born. Those of great wealth have given so much to help others struggling when they have lost their homes, livelihoods, and limbs in this war. There are children writing poems, songs, and letters to those fighting and working hard to make sure they live to see a future. Families are taking in orphans who have lost their parents. Religious leaders are coming together for prayer and charity."

"Just because there are some humans-"

"Some? Rainbow Dash, every human nation in the world has signed peace treaties with each other. They are exchanging trade, technology, and resources. There are even talks of the U.N. planning a one-world government should they win the war. If that's not a sign of them uniting and being better, I do not know what is!" I shouted. 

"But we're better than them!" Rainbow Dash shouted, flaring out her wings. "We've had a thousand or so years of peace and prosperity back home! What have the humans done in a thousand years? They've slaughtered each other, raped each other, enslaved each other, and more! They're not good creatures, Fluttershy! We're good! We're perfect!"

Perfect?

Really?

I know the propaganda was terrible, but is it really that bad? Has it always existed like this and I never knew it until recently, or was this just all new?

I sigh and just shake my head. "Starlight Glimmer. Was she good? She brainwashed an entire group of ponies into giving up their cutie marks and acting like a cult leader. In the end, she killed herself rather than accept what she did was wrong. What about Lighting Dust? She nearly got me and the others killed that one time at the academy and got kicked out because she didn't give a damn about that. The Great and Powerful Trixie had taken over our town in revenge for what Twilight did to her. Luna became Nightmare Moon and almost put us into eternal darkness, which would have taken God knows how many lives. Sombra enslaved and murdered Crystal Ponies under his tyrannical rule. Not to mention we've been at war before too with other creatures, or are you forgetting that we forced the dragons off the southern lands for ourselves in the third hundredth year of Equestria? Or that we tried to wipe out the Changelings in the fifth hundredth year of Equestria and thought they were all dead until the Royal Wedding? We were always taught that our way was better and to either fear or pity the other races because they weren't as advanced or enlightened as us. Because unlike you, I actually stayed awake in class."

"Okay, so maybe we're not perfect but-"

"We have criminals who have murdered, raped, and committed crimes in our history! If we were perfect, then we wouldn't need the Princesses, the Royal Guards, or even the damn army!" I then push forward, and she steps back as I continue. "And before Equestria was made, we were all at war with each other and hated each other with such vigor we nearly wiped ourselves out! How was that any different from humanity before we arrived?! Maybe they would have reached the point where they finally realized they needed to unite to survive instead of being divided as we did?! Have we ever thought of that?!"

"So you're saying that we shouldn't have taught them how to be better?!" Rainbow Dash flared at me

"There is a difference between teaching and threatening!" I shouted as I shook my head. "You are such a stubborn pony that you don't even think about the differences! Forcing people to follow your beliefs never works! It will always cause resistance and end up dividing people! You have to accept that some will never listen to you and accept that it takes time for lessons to be learned. We didn't give humanity that option in the end. We told them to become one of us, or we wipe you out! I couldn't live with that! I will not betray what I believe I stand for!"

"You're supposed to stand with us!" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"I stand with what is right, Rainbow," I told her, stomping my hoof on the ground so hard I crack it. "You and the girls helped me find the courage to always do the right thing and stand up for what is right. Even if it hurts. I find it ironic that, out of all of you, I am the one who dared to do so when it comes to Princess Celestia and her attempts at genocide. Because the truth of all this, Rainbow Dash, is that you and everyone else who supports this war are nothing more than the very bullies who used to push us around as kids because they thought they were bigger, stronger, and smarter than us. How is that any different from your notion just now that Equestria is more perfect and better than humans, so we should dictate its fate?"

Rainbow doesn't answer me. She just stands there with a scowl on her face before turning away because she won't admit that I am right. I didn't get bullied in my youth just to become one like Princess Celestia has to humanity. No, I will not do it. Not now or ever.

"...And what about me?" Rainbow Dash whispers as she closes her eyes, and I see a tear drip down. "W-What about us, Fluttershy? You were my best friend. You were my sister. I loved you just like I loved my own family, and you just...you just left us...you left me for them! You betrayed me!"

Rainbow Dash rarely ever cried, and to see her even shed one tear was enough to make me shed one as well. "Do you think it was easy for me? You think I wanted to do this, Rainbow Dash? I love you. I love all of you. Doing this was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I knew that, even if we won, nothing would go back to what it once was. That you and the girls would hate me forever. Even my own family disowned me. My own mother told me she wished she never gave birth to me. How does that make me feel, Rainbow?" 

After I confronted my friends about my betrayal, I told Discord to take me to my parents to tell them as well. Their reactions were somewhat shocking, considering they were never loud or violent, but I underestimated how patriotic they were. That was the first time my father ever yelled at me and nearly struck me in the face. My mother threw all my photos in the fire and told me to never come back again. My brother couldn't even look me in the eye. I don't even know if they are still alive, and deep down, I fear that they ended up like so many other families who ended up traitors. 

Lyra's entire family was lynched. 

Flash's family were burned in their homes by arsonists. 

Moondancer's entire family was hung in public because they tried to escape later on. 

Derpy's own parents were ashamed of their daughter's treason that they killed themselves. 

Most who choose to resist learned of our families' fates, and they were all bad. Even though they had committed no crimes, they were judged and found guilty for just being related to us. A former North Korean soldier told me that the former Kim Dynasty regime did a similar practice before its fall. When one family member committed a crime, the rest of the family was punished as well. 

How can Equestria claim to be better than humans when they were so similar in their own actions?

The two of us just stared at each other in silence as Rainbow Dash looks to be in deep thought about what to do or say. Honestly, I don't know what else there is to say because there is still nothing that will convince me to use my Element. "Fluttershy...if you just do this one thing...activate your Element...I'll forgive you...we all will...please just do this for Equestria."

"I'm not going to, Rainbow," I answered, shaking my head. "I'm not going to betray my friends and prevent myself from doing what's right."

"So you're willing to let more ponies die in this war?!" Rainbow Dash accused.

"If you want this war to end, then surrender and accept defeat, Rainbow," I answered. "You killed billions of them. Ruined their homes and destroyed their most significant landmarks. You forced their people to turn into Newfoals against their will. Do you think that they will not seek justice for that? If you really want to save Equestria, then convince Princess Celestia to end the war by surrendering. Because all actions have consequences, Rainbow Dash. Besides, I don't think even the Elements of Harmony will be enough to stop the Thalmann Generators, and even if they did, the humans would just improve it to destroy the new barrier."

"So you choose those who you've only known for three years over your own fellow Elements who you've known for far longer," Rainbow Dash mutters, shaking her head as she turns away. "You are a disgrace to your Element, Fluttershy."

She's about to leave, and I don't know what tells me to say this, but I say it anyway, "And you are a disgrace to yours."

Rainbow Dash pauses in place before snapping her head at me. "What."

"I said you are-"

"I know what you said, but what the buck does that mean?!" Rainbow Dash screams as she gets in my face so fast it's like a blur. "Unlike you, I've fought for my country! I stood by my fellow soldiers' side through thick and thin! I wasn't a coward who cracked under pressure as you did! I AM LOYALTY TO PRINCESS CELESTIA!"

"...Yes, but you are a blind loyalist, Rainbow," I answer, shaking my head as she looks confused. "Tell me, if Princess Celestia ordered you to kill Twilight and the others. Would you do it?"

"I...Well, what are you talking about?!" Rainbow Dash demanded.

"If you were ordered to kill Twilight and the others because they are a threat to Equestria, and it's an order from Princess Celestia's own mouth, would you do it?" I asked, seriously.

"...If...If t-t-they end up traitors like you, then y-y-yes," Rainbow Dash answered.

"And if it was your parents? Scootaloo? Luna?" I asked. 

"If it's for the sake of Equestria, then yes!" Rainbow Dash shouted, but I can see the hesitation in her eyes.

"And if it meant that we had to destroy every race back home? All the citizens, even the non-violent ones, by order of Princess Celestia, would you do it?!" I demanded.

"If it means keeping us all safe and protected, yes, I would!" Rainbow Dash shouted, but tears were in her eyes. 

"...if you had to kill a foal to save all of Equestria, by order of Princess Celestia, would you do it?"

She doesn't answer, but I don't need her to. Because I know what she will say. Like all the others trapped in this mindset, Princess Celestia and Equestria cannot do anything wrong. My nation has become so self-righteous that the idea of anything else but our way being possibly good or correct is impossible to think of, especially if it comes from a set of powerful beings who are worshiped as living gods. And this is one of the biggest reasons I have betrayed my nation.

I need to save it from itself.

"The truth is Rainbow Dash, you wouldn't want to do those things, would you? You would want to not kill to protect Equestria, but you do it because you want to appear to be loyal. Loyalty to others is fine, but first, you need to be loyal to yourself and what you believe in. You have not done that. You are not acting like the Rainbow Dash I grew up with. The who protected the weak from the strong. The real Rainbow Dash I knew, the hero that protected me, would have stood up to Princess Celestia and be true to herself and done what Rainbow Dash knew was right. But you're only loyal to what Princess Celestia tells you to be loyal to, and that's mainly her own word. My heart told me that what we were doing was wrong, and if I cannot trust myself, who can I trust? If I cannot be loyal to myself, am I really loyal? That is why I say you are not loyal, Rainbow Dash. You are just blindly following Princess Celestia with no thought of your own. You just do what she says like a mindless slave." 

A painful slap hits my cheek as I gently touch it before looking at Rainbow Dash, who is staring at me with a stoic expression. "You know something, Fluttershy? Even though I hated you, I still had a small part of me that thought of you as a friend." She then grits her teeth at me. "Now? You're just dead to me."

Rainbow turned around and slammed the door behind her as I sigh before slowly sitting down. It hurt to say it, but that was the truth. 

And the truth is seldom nice.

***

I think an hour has passed before I hear the door open again. Looking up, I see a figure that is not looking at me with anger or disgust like Celestia and Rainbow Dash, but pity and sorrow. She still looks beautiful after all these years, and I know it's been a hard time for her. She walks forward still poised and straight like that of a noble lady, but she is not of high class save for the heart she was known for. How many times have I gone to the spa to enjoy a relaxing day of soothing warm bubble baths and makeovers? The dresses I have tried on and modeled for her just to be presented perfectly to her customers. All the times she's been there for a shoulder to cry on when I needed it while making tea to soothe my tears. 

I stand up and wonder what she's going to say to me. "Hello, Rarity."