Day 5 part 1
Ethan stormed into his Megaton house with Twilight trailing close behind (they’d spent last night sleeping in the infirmary at Underworld and then marched back all morning).
“Wadsworth I need my powerarmor, Vengeance, my Tesla Coil, my heavy incinerator, my adapted missile launcher, and my MAC.” Ethan said breathlessly.
“Taking on an army are we sir?” Wadsworth asked dryly as he floated around the room collecting the requested items as Ethan began to change in the middle of the room.
“Actually yes.” Ethan replied as he pulled off his pants and began to climb into his recon underarmor.
“Somehow I’m not surprised.” Wadsworth said. “Would Miss Sparkle like something to complement herself, or would she rather travel light?” Wadsworth asked swiveling one of his eyes to look at Twilight.
“Umm what’s available?” Twilight asked.
“I believe that we have a lovely alien disintegrator available at the moment, it can rapidly fire a hundred shots before you need to reload and master Ethan uses it occasionally to clear out raider nests.” Wadsworth replied.
“Alien?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, from a spaceship full of stereotypical little green men.” Wadsworth replied. “From what I’ve heard it was an incredibly
boring adventure, but the master received some good technology so there’s that.” The robot added.
“Umm sure, why not.” Twilight said with a shrug. Then she turned around to see how Ethan was doing. Her mouth dropped open, where Ethan had stood a tall metal monster reared above her in his place.
“Ah it feels good to be wearing this again.” Ethan told her with a happy sigh, his voice was modulated and sounded slightly robotic.
“Ethan what is that?” Twilight asked slowly.
“This Twilight, is what happens when you combine Enclave hellfire armor, Enclave tesla armor, normal T51B armor, winterized T51B armor, and a Chinese stealth suit for good measure.” Ethan told her (she could hear the smile in his voice).
“Should I understand what that means?” Twilight asked.
“It means that he can effectively fight an army by himself.” Wadsworth said coming up from behind her and depositing several bulky items at Ethan’s feet. “Here is your disintegrator.” He added handing Twilight a long thin rifle that looked extremely odd. “Here are a thousand shots worth of ammo.” He said giving her ten glowing tubes.
“Thanks Wadsworth.” Twilight said as she began to familiarize herself with the odd rifle. “So Ethan what’s the plan?” She asked looking back at the metal titan
“We’re going to travel to the Citadel and kill an entire army.” He told her simply
***
Rainbow Dash was sitting on one of her cloud chairs reading the newest book in the Daring Doo series when the sound of urgent knocking met her ears.
“I’m coming hold on a minute.” Dash called, she stealthily hid the book inside the folds of her cloud (it wouldn’t be cool for ponies she didn’t consider close friends to see her reading a book). She flew over to her door and opened it without hesitation. To her surprise she found something completely unexpected, it was Gilda.
The griffin didn’t look anything like she had the last time Dash had seen her, in fact she looked absolutely terrible. Her feathers obviously hadn’t been preened in weeks (if not months). The normally clear eyes were red and puffy as if she’d been crying recently. Her furry hindquarters were also in a similar state of disrepair and her fur was wadded up into small bunches. Above all she looked gaunt and starving.
“Gilda what the happened to you?” Dash asked in horrified surprise as her eyes swept over her friend (and ex-lover).
“Hi Dash, we need to talk. May I come in?” Gilda asked with a sad smile.
***
Celestia was walking through the gardens enjoying the beautiful summer day (she’d already held court so the fresh air felt especially nice on her fur) when she heard an odd noise. It sounded as if somepony was playing a cello. Celestia raised an eyebrow and walked towards the noise. What she found was Discord standing on a hickory stump calmly sliding a bow across his cello’s strings. His back was turned so he didn’t notice Celestia lying in the grass behind him as he played the soothing instrument. Suddenly the bow made an evil sounding hiss and Discord began to sputter in anger.
“No No No NO! That will never beat her!” He exclaimed angrily stomping for emphasis and throwing the metaphysical cello to the ground with an angry glare. Celestia couldn’t help herself, she started to giggle. Discord pivoted and confronted her. “It isn’t polite to spy Tia.” He told her archly.
“Forgive me Discord I heard the music.” She said with a shrug and a giggle. “And I just have to know why you’re in such a tizzy.” She added with a smile.
“Because that stupid grey mare won my golden cello!” Discord exclaimed angrily.
“What golden cello?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.
“The one that my father gave me!” Discord raged.
“You hated your father.” Celestia pointed out helpfully.
“Yes, but that cello was mine!” Discord replied with an angry hand gesture.
“How did this mare even win it?” Celestia asked.
“I challenged her to a musical duel for the mind of her marefriend.” Discord replied with a shrug.
“For some reason I can’t find it in myself to feel bad for you.” Celestia said sarcastically and Discord scowled at her.
“I still can’t imagine how she beat me, honestly I’ve been playing that damned cello for a millenia!” He said in aggravation.
“Forgive me for asking something that is clearly obvious to you, but how could a golden cello even be played? The weight of alone would make it unwieldy at best not to mention the acoustics would be horrible.” Celestia asked Discord.
“Because it does Tia, it’s an eternal conundrum just like me, thus it works perfectly and weighs next to nothing.” Discord told her as if she were an idiot.
“I’ll just leave you to your practice then.” Celestia said getting back to her hooves and giving the spirit of chaos a smirk.
***
Twilight and Ethan were walking along the road that would eventually lead them to the Citadel and while Ethan was cheerfully whistling the (extremely familiar) chorus of I don’t want to set the world on fire Twilight’s face was blank and remote. Ethan looked over and caught the expression and gave Twilight a tiny frown.
“Sparky?” He asked but received no response. “Sparky you in there?” He asked and once again received no response. A small smile crossed his face. Ethan took off one of his armored gloves and he dipped a finger in his mouth (making sure to get it really wet and slimy) before he plunged it into her nearest ear. The reaction was immediate.
“What the FUCK!” Twilight shouted loudly and lashed out with a blast of TK that sent Ethan smashing into the concrete wall of a nearby building. Ethan emerged completely unharmed laughing hysterically.
“Oh my god Sparky you should’ve seen the look on your face!” Ethan said as he began to dust off his hulking powerarmor.
“Why in Celestia would you do that Ethan, what the fuck?” Twilight asked angrily as she began to rub her ear frantically with a hoof.
“Because you were ignoring your surroundings, that’s like asking the wasteland to bitchslap you.” Ethan replied with a (completely wasted thanks to his helmet) grin.
“I was in the middle of perfecting a very complicated magical process Ethan, I could’ve killed you!” Twilight said in annoyance as they began to walk again.
“Worth it.” Ethan replied with a (once again wasted) grin. “So what were you working on?” Ethan asked after a few chuckles.
“I was working on a technique that Celestia told me about. It involves splitting your mind so that you can give two or more things your full attention at the same time.” Twilight replied.
“Ah, so that you can perform multiple spells at the same time.” Ethan told her.
“Yes but it goes deeper than that, if I can get it to work I will be able to create a full copy of my personality that is just as smart as me and we’ll be able to work out any problem together.” Twilight told him and Ethan nodded slowly.
“It’ll also let you do some really interesting things in bed.” He added with a chuckle, Twilight threw a tin can at him. Suddenly Threedog’s voice came on over the radio.
You know children I thought that I’d seen all that the wasteland had to offer, but you know recently I’ve had to question that belief. It all started around four days ago with reports from the town of Megaton that Ethan Smith our very own Lone Wanderer had picked himself up some rather unusual company. Now I know that’s hardly unusual for Ethan but get this folks, he’s traveling with a magic purple talking honest to god unicorn. The mare’s name is Twilight Sparkle and she’s a guest out here in the wasteland so I want you all to be very polite (or at least don’t try to eat her). Anyways that’s not really the news. The news is that this little pony was the one who caused the two large holes in the Capital Dome. So remember kiddies don’t mess with the purple unicorn who can throw supermutant behemoths around like ragdolls. Oh and Sparky drop by the studio next time you’re in the neighborhood I’ve always wanted to meet a unicorn. Now back to the music
“Wow Sparky you got your very own radio broadcast.” Ethan told her with a grin.
“I feel so honored.” Twilight replied dryly.
“He even got your nickname right.” Ethan told her with a smile.
“Great now everyone will call me Sparky.” Twilight said with a groan.
“Not that, I mean Twilight Sparkle. Who would give their kid a name that ridicules? It must be a nickname!” Ethan told her with a laugh. She threw another can at him.