Retrograde

by RQK


9 - Garden of Regrets

A mixture of some string instruments, something electronic, and some percussion mixed together to fill the band practice room with melody. An occasional voice led the song’s message and other voices occasionally harmonized.

Sunset Shimmer sat on the room’s grand piano, watching as they played. She carefully watched Rainbow Dash’s fingers dancing along her guitar strings; she had played an instrument like that once. She had a few instruments like that in stands in her apartment. She mimicked the notes Rainbow Dash played with her fingers despite not holding an instrument herself.

To her amazement, she seemed to match Rainbow Dash at points. She didn’t know the song, and she was sure she had missed some notes. That would take practice. It would take a little time to get up to Rainbow Dash’s level—or the level she had once been at—but maybe it wouldn’t take forever.

The double doors opened and Princess Twilight stepped into the room. She paused in the doorway and watched as they continued their performance, bobbing in rhythm.

Eventually, the song finished and the room fell silent.

Sunset hopped off the piano and applauded. Twilight joined in after.

Rainbow Dash unslung her guitar and set it in its stand. “Princess Twilight.”

Twilight stepped forward. “Hi. Thought I would stop by to check in. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Not really,” Sci-Twi said, similarly stepping forward. “It’s nice to see you.”

“How are you all feeling? Are you… all okay?” Twilight’s expression fell. “I kinda did explode on you all last time we all saw each other.”

At that, the girls exchanged glances.

“Ah suppose,” Applejack said. “We’re feeling pretty okay now. Ain’t nothing hurting or out of place of anything. But the geodes…”

“I miss my geode,” Pinkie Pie lamented, slumping over the drumset.

“Yeah.” Applejack shook her head. “It’s a real pickle you done put us in, Twilight. Ah gotta tell ya that all of us,” she said, motioning to everyone else that wasn’t Sunset, “we get what happened. Somewhat.”

“It was really scary…” Fluttershy murmured.

“I know that must have been,” Twilight replied. “I’m very sorry. And I’m sorry it’s taken this long to apologize to you about it.”

“It’s alright,” Applejack replied. “We get it.”

“Quite. But it’s also like Applejack said… this had led to quite the development. Those geodes that we had were quite valuable… and…” Rarity sighed. “Oh! I do miss mine too!”

Twilight held up a hand. “Well, I’m working on putting them together, at least.”

They all perked up. “Really?” they all cooed.

“Yes! It… should be a little easier this time around. And not as stressful. It’s just…” Twilight pursed her lips. “I haven’t exactly been in a good frame of mind since this all started. So I haven’t been so prompt.”

Applejack placed a hand on Twilight’s shoulder. “Naw. Don’t worry about that none. You take all the time you need. We don’t want you going crazy or nothing.”

“But don’t take too long,” Rainbow Dash added, earning a couple of glares.

“I’ll try my best. Just wait a little longer, okay?”

“What about the Memory Stone?” Sci-Twi asked. “What is the situation with that?”

“Hey! Yeah!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, sitting up. “It feels like forever since we tried that and we don’t know what you did with it.”

“It’s locked away for now. It’s been put someplace where very few ponies could get to it. I’m… actually not one of them,” Twilight said, blushing. “Princess Celestia doesn’t entirely trust me with it. She… might be right on that.”

“Well, I guess that’s that,” Applejack said. “No more worrying about the Memory Stone.”

“So you didn’t destroy it?” Sunset asked. “Well, didn’t destroy it a second time?”

Twilight paused. “Uh… Actually, no.”

Sci-Twi blinked. “That’s… surprising. Although… maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” When everyone turned and gave quizzical hums, she continued. “Well, one thing that’s really worked in our favor is that Equestria is still a secret, by and large. And I don’t know about all of you, but it would probably be for the best if it remains a secret.”

“That was Princess Celestia’s thinking,” Twilight added. “There… is a situation where the Memory Stone could be useful.” She nervously smiled. “But hopefully we never get to that point.”

“Shoot. Ah really hope that don’t fall into the wrong hands again,” Applejack said. “Because that thing’s caused much more problems than it’s ever solved, Ah reckon.”

“Not to mention all the problems it could have caused,” Rarity added. “Really. I see this whole debacle and shudder at the thought of that girl and that she could have done all of this at any time.”

“Yes.” Fluttershy’s tone had hardened.

After a moment of silence, Sunset twiddled her thumbs. “But she didn’t, right?

Rarity crossed her arm. “No. But she could have.”

“On principle, yes,” Sci-Twi said. “But… technically, anyone with a weapon could do terrible things at any time. Not that I’m trying to defend her or anything; she did regularly erase memories, even if they were minor ones. She even said so on film! But… I don’t think she had plans to do something like what happened.”

“But she did it,” Pinkie Pie growled. She finally stood and circled the drumset. “Wallflower Blush did things. She erased memories. She was going to erase all of our memories!”

“That’s right.” Twilight’s tone had grown stone cold. “She took things that weren’t hers to take. She messed with other people’s heads. And she tried to take your friendship from you.” Her fists trembled. “And then she all but killed Sunset.”

“Hear hear,” Applejack agreed.

“Speaking of, what is her situation right now?”

Rainbow Dash snickered. “Oh, it’s great. The whole school is really giving it to her, Twilight. You should see it.”

“She’s really getting some good ol’ fashioned justice,” Applejack added. “Well, best as we can really serve it up, anyway.”

Good,” Twilight said with a sharp tone. “I’m glad to hear that. I wouldn’t want there to be no consequences for all of this.”

“Just between you and me... although Ah think Ah might speak for all of us here, Ah wouldn’t have minded all that much if you had been able to take her to whatever place you were talking about.”

“Tartarus,” Twilight answered. “And, well, just between all of us... me too.”

Rainbow Dash laughed.

Sunset scratched her head. “I mean, sure? But, uh… isn’t it true that there have been worse villains out there than Wallflower Blush? And they got to go free, right? I heard what I heard right... right?”

Twilight turned. “Well, see… here is the thing, Sunset…”

“You know… villains like… me?”

Everyone else stood around in stunned silence. After a pause, a few of them managed to exchange glances.

“Apparently?” Sunset sighed. “I’ve gotten the impression that I was really really bad. I didn’t... go to Tartarus, did I?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “No… No you didn’t. Sunset, the thing that you have to understand is that… you were repentant. You were… reformable. We saw that. So are a lot of those… uh, other villains.”

Sunset frowned. “Okay. So… They got second chances.”

Twilight nodded from side to side. “Well… yes.”

“Aha!” exclaimed a new voice. Trixie Lulamoon, dressed in her blue-ish ensemble but also boasting a purple magician’s hat, sauntered into the room. “Trixie knew that she would find all of you here! For she is all-knowing. Oh! Princess Twilight is here as well!”

Twilight turned. “Oh. Hello, Trixie.”

“Howdy,” Applejack greeted. “What brings you here, o’ Great and Powerful?”
Trixie laughed. “Ha! Many things! Many things. But mostly because something so intriguing has happened to Wallflower Blush.”

Everyone else stood at attention now, fully facing her now.

“Are you all aware of the garden that was so very precious to her?”

After exchanging glances with the others, Sci-Twi hummed. “That sounds familiar, actually. Why?”

“I do not know about this,” Twilight interjected. “What is this?”

“Apparently, there is a garden that Wallflower’s been taking care of out back of the school. No one else really knows about it. Well… no one really knew about it. We’ve learned that it’s there since then. It’s where she found the Memory Stone in the first place, after all.”

“She really cares about that garden,” Fluttershy added. “She’s like I am with animals when it comes to that place. I think.”

“Oh.” Trixie laughed. “That’s… that’s part of what makes what happened so spicy! You see… well, Trixie must confess that she was not there for all of this when it went down. She did not dirty her hands. But, she knows that it has just happened.”

Sunset leaned forward. “What?”

They trashed it. They trashed Wallflower Blush’s garden.”

Sunset shuddered. She stepped closer to Trixie. She just about towered over her. “They did… what?”

Trixie’s smile faded. “They… well, they tore it all up. I’m pretty sure.”

Sunset stared her down. After glancing up to see how everyone else was reacting, and after seeing their surprised expressions, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “When?”

“Just a bit ago.” Trixie stammered. “I caught them as they were coming back in from doing it. They saw her going that way, so they cornered her there, and decided to tear up the place while they were at it.”

Sunset threw her hands up. “Wait. Hold on. They made her watch?”

“Y… yeah?”

Sunset’s eyes widened and she paced in place, trying to absorb what she had just heard. She wore a long expression like she had just heard the worst blasphemy against Princess Celestia she had ever heard.

“Sunset?” Sci-Twi tried.

“Where is she?” Sunset hissed.

Trixie glanced at the others for help and found none. “Wallflower?”

“Yeah.” Sunset approached Trixie again. “Where is she right now?”

“Uh, I don’t know. She might still be there?”

Sunset nodded and stormed toward the doors.

Twilight chased after and grabbed hold of her arm. “Sunset, wait! Where are you going?”

Sunset, after a pause, looked over her shoulder. “I’m going to go find her. I think it’s about time I went and had a talk with Wallflower Blush.”

A few hushed gasps from the other’s accented Twilight’s widening eyes. “You… are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Twilight firmed up. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”

Sunset whirled and placed a hand on Twilight’s chest. “No. You stay. I want to go talk to her alone.”

“What? Are you crazy? Let me go with you!” Twilight threw her hands around, unsure of what to do with them. “What if something bad happens, or something—”

“No offense, Twilight, but the last time you talked to her, you tried to drag her to Tarturus. Stay the fuck out of this one.” Sunset pointed at everyone else. “Same goes for the rest of you. Don’t even think of following me.”

And with that, Sunset broke away and stormed out of the room before anyone else could raise any objection. Twilight managed to reach for the doorway, but she sighed and shook her head.

“I don’t like this,” she said, turning back to face them. “I don’t like this at all. Letting her go out there all by herself!”

“Ah agree!” Applejack exclaimed. “Gosh darnit!”

“Maybe we should go after her,” Rainbow Dash suggested.

“I’d like to!” Twilight cried.

Fluttershy shuddered. “I don’t know…”

“Oh man,” Pinkie Pie lamented. “I want to keep an eye on her too! But boy, I think she would get really mad if she found us out there.”

Twilight blew a raspberry. “That. Is there anything we can do?”

After a pause, Sci-Twi nodded. “Actually… yes. We can keep an eye on her without actually going out there ourselves. I have this invention, I call it the Selfie-Sensor…”

* * *

Sunset burst through the back doors and stormed across the parking lot. The side away from the school held nothing but trees and shrubbery. Somewhere through there was a garden. With any luck, it would be easy enough to find.

Her diary had said things about her time under judgment. There was rebuilding the front of the school brick by brick; others had sabotaged her efforts to get that done only for Applejack to set her straight. There was enduring torment by classmates; some had kicked her in the halls only for Rainbow Dash to shoo them away, others had tried to throw things at her only for Rarity to bat them before they could. There had been the support and invitations from Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy which had helped lift the spirits.

Sure, Sci-Twi hadn’t entered the picture then. But she had been as much a rock as the rest of them through the past few weeks.

And now a garden was destroyed in a most direct statement she could imagine. She had to see this.

She stepped onto a dirt path that led through the shrubs. She spotted several footprints pointing toward a gap in the bushes at which point she filed through, rustling the bushes as she went. Soon enough, she reached a clearing.

A few sunbeams shone upon the various structures within the clearing. The most notable were a trifecta of brilliant and sparkling cobbles. A few rock rings and even a stone terrace in the center hosted flowerbeds where plants and flowers of all shapes, sizes, and colors could enjoy the sunlight.

At least, that was what the garden was supposed to look like. Sunset shuddered and could even feel the life drain from her face.

Dozens of flowers and small shrubs lay discarded about the entire clearing while the flowerbeds had been torn up and dug out and their dirt had been scattered everywhere. Some parts of the grass that otherwise dominated the clearing had been pocked and smothered by debris. The few vases that had once stood about lay shattered with some pieces well across the clearing.

Sunset paused to take it all in and then she centered on the lone figure sitting near the center. She couldn’t see Wallflower Blush’s face since she faced away, staring at the remains of the garden instead, but she could tell from the fading gasps and sobs that it was stained with tears.

Sunset sucked in a breath and stared. There she was.

There had been the erasing of memories, there had been the attempts of dragging to Tartarus, there had been the torment, and there had been the long days trying to repair magical relics. But all of that, however, had happened in the company of others.

Here, it was just her and her. There were no watching eyes to judge or hands to intervene. Whatever was about to happen would be of the most unfettered and unpressured candor between them.

What happened here would decide the course of the future for one or both of them. And, in the back of Sunset’s mind, there was the chance that she would shortly leave after slamming the proverbial door. Sunset puffed herself up and waited, watching to see how Wallflower Blush, who by all accounts had just hit rock bottom, would choose to take things.

Wallflower finally hazarded a glance back to see who else had entered the garden. Sunset could see her face exactly as wet as she imagined it. She looked forward again, away from Sunset.

After pause, Wallflower finally spoke. “What do you want?” she croaked.

Sunset didn’t respond.

“Tell me… tell me you didn’t come here to kick me while I’m down. You see what they did? They destroyed the one thing that means something to me. They killed the garden. And this is after all the other ways they’ve hurt me over the past week and…

“And now you decide to show up. You would show up when I… can’t go any lower than this. You picked this moment on purpose, so it would hurt the most. And you’ll tell me that I’m worthless and that I deserve all of this and that I’m the biggest meanie, just like you were.”

Sunset let her hands make fists. Her expression firmed up.

Wallflower slumped. “Part of me wishes I could say that. But now… I’m not so sure anymore.”

Sunset held her breath.

“You probably hate me. Everyone else already does. My classmates, my teachers, your friends…” Wallflower chuckled bitterly. “Even Princess Twilight hates me. She hates me the most. I didn’t… I didn’t even know that was even possible…”

Wallflower sobbed and gazed across the garden. “I didn’t think you changed. But… seeing you without your memories, as you really were… I saw the real you, or something pretty close.

“And… I was wrong. I was wrong.”

Sunset let out the breath she had been holding and hung her hands off her waist.

“I spent all this time thinking that you hadn’t changed at all. I thought that you were still the biggest meanie. I thought it was all a lie. But… I don’t know if that’s true anymore.” Wallflower shook her head. “The reason everyone liked you and thought of you as a friend… was because you were actually a friend. And I didn’t see that.”

Wallflower’s voice quivered. “And then I stole your memories and I killed you.”

Sunset hazarded a few steps forward and sighed through her nose. She kept silent, intent to let Wallflower finish.

“I became the biggest meanie… and I am worthless and I deserve all of this… and all it took was just… one moment.” Wallflower threw hands into the air. “I mean, sure, I took memories before, but… I was just trying to be invisible. That’s what I did. I didn’t make friends. I didn’t talk to people. I don’t have anyone.

“I… did want to be visible… but not like this. Never like this. This was… what I was afraid of all along. Now people know who I am. To them… I’m the girl who destroyed you. And that’s all I’ll be remembered as. And no one is ever going to forgive me for it. It was much better when I wasn’t trying to be part of anyone’s lives.

“Maybe…” Wallflower sniffed. “Maybe that’s how it should be. It would be better, for everyone, if I wasn’t a part of anyone’s lives anymore.”

Sunset shuddered. She stepped forward. “Wallflower.”

Wallflower glanced back out the corner of her eye. Her expression was extraordinarily serene but absolutely drenched. She shook her head. “I don’t even know why you’re still here.” She sighed. “But I guess that’s okay. I said what I wanted to say. I just…”

Wallflower Blush looked forward again. “That’s all. I’m sorry, Sunset. Please… leave me… so that I can rot with my plants in peace.

A long silence hung within the garden. Sunset remained standing right at the edge of the clearing. Wallflower remained collapsed a little more inward. A small gust of wind blew through, rustling the trees and carrying some sort of whisper; the sunbeams subsequently flickered.

There it was. The choice, as candid a choice as there was, had been chosen. And it was over. If she said nothing or did nothing, Wallflower would sit there in silence. It was entirely possible to simply walk away. Such had been a possibility beforehand.

Sighing through her nose, Sunset Shimmer stumbled forward, approaching Wallflower Blush from behind.

And Sunset Shimmer gingerly lowered herself to the ground, feeling the grass crunch underneath her, and took a seat right next to Wallflower Blush.

For the moment, the two of them sat in silence.

“I’ve spent the last while getting to know who I was,” Sunset finally murmured after a few long moments.

Wallflower stirred. She averted her gaze.

“Don’t get me wrong, the things that you did were really bad. You messed with people’s heads; you messed with mine so hard that I became a completely different person. Some would call those kinds of things unforgivable.” She paused to note Wallflower’s shying away before she deflated herself. “But it’s not like I can pretend like I was much better.”

Sunset shook her head and chuckled. “Well, I kind of can, I guess. Because I actually don’t remember it anymore. But... I know it happened. And I know I did it. It was real.” Her lips quivered. “I committed treason. And I was going for a full coup d'etat. I made everyone here my actual slaves and was ready to march everyone on Equestria. That right there is bad enough. But if you think about all the years of torment and bullying and backstabbing that I did before all of that…”

Wallflower sniffled and shook her head.

“I want to imagine there were a lot of people that didn’t think I deserved a second chance,” Sunset said. “You know, a lot of people like you. And… I’m guessing that, back then… I didn’t think so either. I had a lot of the same thoughts that you’re having right now.”

Sunset jammed her hands further into her lap and looked at Wallflower. “The only reason I’m where I’m at right now… is because, even after all of that, even though I did not deserve a second chance… I got one. Because there were a small handful of people that I thought I could get one anyway.”

Wallflower looked up, still not meeting Sunset’s eyes. “I don’t have anyone like that,” she wheezed.

“I know. I know you don’t. But… I think…” she nodded, “maybe I’m ready to be the first.”

Wallflower’s eyes widened. She whirled and warbled with disbelief.

Sunset met Wallflower’s eyes. Finally, she had a good look of the red in Wallflower’s eyes and the black bags right underneath, along with the discolorations through her cheeks.

“What? You?” Wallflower croaked. “Why?”

“Because.”

“Why you? You… I hurt you, Sunset. You’re the one I hurt the most out of all of this. Right?”

Sunset shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know. But honestly, the way I see it… sounds kinda silly that I got the second chance that I didn’t deserve… and I can’t even give the same to someone else.”

Some silence passed. The best Wallflower eventually managed were a few new sobs.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Sunset continued, holding her hands up. “There… has to be some justice. I got mine served. And it would make a lot of people feel better if you paid for what you did. So… I don’t think I should do too much to stop them right now. I probably should let them have their way with you here and there.”

She shook her head and motioned to the destroyed garden. “I wouldn’t let them do this, though. This is too much.”

Wallflower solemnly nodded in agreement.

Sunset then reached over and laid a hand on Wallflower. “Wallflower, what I want to say… is if you’re willing to take your lumps… and you’re willing to try to come out of this a better person, just like I did… I’ll be there to pick you up when you’re down. Okay?”

Wallflower’s eyes grew even wetter and she even let a few tears fall. After a few errant sobs, Wallflower shook her head. “That… sounds nice… but everyone still hates me.”

“Well, I guess that’s true. Maybe they don’t like you right now. Maybe they don’t think you deserve a second chance right now. And… this is something none of us should never ever forget about.

“But if you give them enough reasons to… they’ll forgive you.”

A knot went up and down Wallflower’s throat. She stammered out words without voice between sobs and searched the garden for words with her eyes.

Sunset laughed at herself. “Wow. I don’t know what it is, but that just sounds so right.”

Wallflower half-sobbed, half-giggled. “It probably does. I… would like to do that. But... I don’t know the first thing about friendship.”

Sunset felt a growing wetness in her own eyes. She ignored it for the moment. “Neither did I. I had some pretty good teachers though. And I made it out. If I could do it, I’ll bet you can too. I can teach you.”

“You will?”

Sunset leaned forward. “Is that okay, friend?”

Wallflower looked like she had frozen in place, contemplating Sunset in her entirety. Sunset, seeing this, smiled back.

After a pause, Wallflower flung herself into Sunset’s arms. While initially taken aback, Sunset eventually nodded and wrapped her arms around Wallflower in turn, holding her close. She retained her smile but let a few of her own tears fall as Wallflower found renewed strength to bawl her eyes out. She rubbed and patted Wallflower’s back as she cried.

Eventually, she found a peace of mind enough to close her eyes and lose herself to the moment as well.

Sunset and Wallflower remained there in their solemn embrace for a while, even as the latter’s wails devolved to sobs and to whimpers and to finally nothing at all. There would be a right time to move on from that moment, but both were content to wait for the right time to do that.

* * *

The yearbook room hung in silence. Seven girls gathered around a laptop, watching a scene in one of the windows. A title at the top of the window read Selfie-Sensor Live Feed and the image showed a destroyed garden with two girls holding each other and sharing some tears.

Sci-Twi sighed and leaned back in her seat. A quick glance around allowed her to register the frowns that everyone wore. Trixie’s frown had some hints of bewilderment in it and she even scratched her head. Fluttershy’s cheeks carried a shameful red to them. Rainbow Dash looked anywhere that wasn’t the screen. Pinkie Pie’s lips quivered as if she were processing what she had watched. Rarity held herself close as she stared completely at the screen. Applejack hid her face behind her Stetson.

Twilight sighed through her nose, hung her head, eventually nodded, and slunk toward the door.

Sci-Twi turned. “Twilight?” she murmured. “Where are you going?”

The others turned to look.

Twilight rested her hand on the doorknob. She pursed her lips. She eventually looked back at them. “I’m just…” she tentatively replied, “I need to go think about this for a while.”

After a pause, Sci-Twi tentatively nodded back.

And without another word, Twilight pulled the door open and disappeared outside.