"So you really can't change back?"
"Obviously," Twilight said, her head resting on the kitchen table. She was still stuck in her dark magic form, Nightfall Sparkle, complete with a larger body, magical glowing armor and hazy, ethereal mane of twilight. A stack of books on magic was next to her, all ones that she'd read and reread before. Sometimes, she found answers in them to current problems. They didn't have any clue on how to change her back into regular Twilight, though.
"You'll figure it out. But the more important question is, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME ANY PIZZA?!?!" Dan demanded.
"Pizza? You want PIZZA?" Twilight asked. She lifted her head off the table, her horn glowed brightly. Teeth gritted and new fangs barred, she said, "I'll GIVE you PIZZA!" Her horn and mane erupted in magical, violet light.
And a pizza appeared on the table. It glowed an eerie purple.
"Yes! Awesome," Dan grabbed a slice and immediately took a bite. "MMMMAA- Aaaah!"
"What's wrong?"
"Dan?"
Dan raised his hand. "Yeah-mmmff, it's just, it's- it's really hot. I burned my mouth a bit. It's good, though. A little on the evil side, but good, mmm."
Bracing the table, Phoenix looked down at the new, clearly magically-bewitched pizza. "Okay, I'm gonna ask: how does a pizza taste evil?"
Chrys grabbed a slice and nommed. "Mmmm... yep, oh. Yeah, there's definitely a little bit of evil in here. Little spicy, but I think it's in the sauce. It has that aftertaste."
Phoenix grabbed a slice and took a bite. "I don't taste any- oh. Okay. Yeah, there it is. It's... not bad." The "evil" aftertaste had notes of a spiced grape, like a cooking bold, full-bodied cooking wine had been added to the sauce along with some chili peppers. The result was spicy, fruity, a little sweet and both lingering and tingling. Remarkably, it was a little evil-tasting.
"It's not evil," Twilight said. Her head slowly drooped back down to rest on the table. "My magic is dark while in this form so it's... evil-y. Kind-of selfish and cloying. But it's not really evil; it just looks and feels and seems like it sometimes."
"Hmm... what else do we know that acts bad but is really good?" Phoenix asked.
Dan shrugged. "Nothing comes to mind for me. You, Chrys?"
Chrys shrugged. "Nope. What about you, general?"
"Not that I am aware of, no."
Phoenix rubbed his chin. (Hmmm... I wonder what Edgeworth would say at a time like this.)
"Wright, you of all people should know not to judge things on appearance alone. You also shouldn't be the one to judge appearances."
"I don't think he should be judging at all. That's what the Judge is for. Right, Nick?"
For some reason, Nick imagined Maya's voice chiming in after Edgeworth's. (I guess that is what the Judge is for... I wonder where he's gotten off to.)
The Moon
"Hello? Mr. Wright? Is there anyone there?" The Judge asked. His gavel floated by, before remembering gravity still existed and it did a loop and crashed.
"I have a feeling we MAY have forgotten something."
"Probably not that important," Dan said, patting Phoenix on the way to the fridge. "The REAL question is..."
"Yes?"
Dan waggled an empty glass. "We're outta punch. Can your new dark-self magic me up something to drink? Please?"
Twilightfall glared at him, but complied. A viscous-looking, frothy purple liquid filled up his glass.
"That is NOT the question, by the way," she said, almost boilingly-angry. "It's... what am I gonna do like this? How are we gonna use THIS against Celestia's parents?"
"I think it's a nice look for you," Chrys said. She grabbed her armored shoulders and gave her a gentle hug. "We look like sisters now!"
"Ummm..." Phoenix squinted his eyes. (I really don't see it.)
"To who?" Spike asked. He gestured at them both, holding a slice of 'evil' pizza in his claw. "You guys don't look anything alike. Twilight's got armor, her mane is all... foggy and stuff, and there's all this glowing. She also doesn't have your changeling holes, her fangs are different, her eyes have that white thing around-"
Chrysalis transformed herself into a version of Nightfall, but with teal-blue replacing the violet and purple. "There. Happy?"
"Can I get something to drink, too?" See, the girls in this situation have problems, but the men have priorities. If you're going to deal with long, complicated issues, do it with a full stomach and a quenched and refreshed esophagus.
Twilight's Nightfall horn zapped his empty glass and it filled with Twili-punch. The glass also gained an imprint of her face.
"Can we PLEASE focus on my problems right now?! Because I am NOT going to be the only one looking through books all night for a way to fix this!!" Twilight yelled.
Dan patted Twilight on the back. "Twilight, Twilight, Twilight... let's be honest. Do you really trust anyone but yourself to find the answer by reading it?"
Twilight thought. None of them were avid readers, none of them knew many authors aside from Daring Do, she was basically the only one who could do this. Again, her head lowered to rest on the table. She stared at the evil pizza she'd conjured, when Dan's glass of evil punch came into view. It waggled in front of her.
"Another important thing: can I get some ice?"
Twilight slowly turned to him. Her eyes were warped, glowing and looked like they could burst into purple flames at any moment.
"What am I thinking? The icemaker still works. Spike, let me ice your drink, my good man."
"You're too kind, my dude."
"Could I get some ice for my tea?"
"Comin' up, Nicky."
"Awesome, bro."
"Welcome, bro!"
"Bro!"
"Bro~"
"Bro, really, bro."
"Totally, bro!"
"Bro!"
"Thrbbbbb!" Bro!
At some point, Fuzzle joined in the bro-out. Chrys transformed into a male version of herself to contribute at least once. She didn't like being left out, the sweet thing.
Twilight found it less funny. Her eyes glowed like dark purple embers, her hazy mane rippled rapidly, like static, like smoke, like a lot of things. And finally, her horn glowed, swirling with dark magic that focused to a single, burning, glowing point, and then, Zen Zeal interrupted.
"Enough. I am here for a purpose. Your highness, our world is under great threat. An invader approaches far more powerful than any of us have ever seen." Zeal tapped his spear and its neck flayed outward. He grabbed the tip, revealing it to be a large dagger-like pen. Zeal spun his shield around and detached a section, revealing that to be a tablet. He presented both to Twilight on the table. Chrys moved the pizza to the side.
Zen held his head high. "These are the orders for-"
*GRRNNNGGGGRRRERRRRRRRR* The sound of the icemaker drowned out the general.
"I'm sorry, you're going to have repeat that."
Zen sighed, then picked his head up again. "These are the orders for all the forces I command. Affix your seal and we shall make our stand. To fight for you, whatever glory demands. Until we see this through... and free the land."
"So how is Zecora these days?" Spike asked.
"She did not want me to come here."
"Can't imagine why..."
Twilight looked at the tablet. "You really want to fight the king and queen?"
"Yes."
"And he's promised us some land to sweeten the deal. In the north past Prosperity," Phoenix said.
"Hmmm," Twilight considered a lot. She looked at Dan. He, too, seemed a bit uncertain, not chiming in as he ate pizza and drank a frothing, sinister-looking beverage. War meant an uncertain future, a dangerous prospect for all of them. Defending on a scale of this magnitude would require far more than just the steadfast royal guard, the powerful, magical princesses and a few plucky, clever humans. It would take a plan for the future.
More land meant the prospect of new cities, new families, a new generation of ponies. A real future, an expansion to the existing Kingdom of Equestria. It may even mean an expansion into the stars. Traditionally, new territory was the jurisdiction and rule of the new princess. A kingdom for Twilight Sparkle. New families with fillies and foals looking up to her the same way the Crystal Ponies look up to Cadence and Shining Armor.
"How much land exactly?"
Phoenix opened his mouth gleefully, when Zeal interjected saying, "We can discuss details later. Sign the tablet and I will begin preparations for battle."
"There's not gonna be a battle," Dan muttered.
With an angry, incredibly-irritated-sounding cracking, creaking motion, Zen Zeal turned to Dan. Twilight looked over to him as well, less creaking.
"Why not?"
Dan sighed. He rapped his fingers on the table, debating on whether or not he could tell them. That was when Spike chimed in.
"There's a train that arrived tonight. Is that... is that part of your plan, Dan?"
"We know of the Sword Spells already," Zeal said. "If you're planning on using those weapons, than it-"
"It's HOW we're using them, Kaiser. Simmer down a bit. Even I don't know what we're up against with the king and queen," Dan said. "But we do have a plan. Sort-of an ultimate, ultimate, ultimate last resort. Plan Zero."
"Zero?" Twilight asked. "As in, we do nothing?"
"As in we leave them with nothing. Zilch. We're going to lure the king and queen, the Terran Empire, anything and everything else that wants a piece of Equestria into the blast zone. Celestia is going to use the Sword Spells' power to collapse the sun, creating-"
"A black hole," Twilight said. The news hit her like a bomb and then left her feeling like a weight was in her stomach. Of all of Celestia's tremendous powers, this was the only thing Twilight was uncertain of. She could move the sun but could she destroy it? Not could she physically destroy it, but could she actually deal with the emotional weight of killing a star? Much less her birthright?
"Technically, it's going to go supernova first. We're pretty sure the blast will wipe out, uhhh... everything. That's trying to murder us. Then, whatever's left is going to find a black hole. Meanwhile, you, Cadence and Luna are gonna teleport Equestria and the moon and everybody on them to a new dimension," Dan explained.
"The black hole would erase any evidence of, well, anything," Phoenix said. (I'm going to face a prosecutor in court named B. Hoel now, aren't I?)
To say Zeal looked disappointed was... well, completely inaccurate. He looked pretty much his usual angry self, but everybody had to imagine he was pretty disappointed. He gathered the tablet and the pen and reassembled them into his spear and shield.
"Thank you for your time. And the tea." He proceeded to leave. Dan proceeded to stop him.
"Now hang on, if you're really set on dying for us, I got stuff that needs doing-"
Zeal ignored him. Phoenix was the last one to stop him on the way out, yelling after him,
"Can we still have the land? You're not even doing anything with it!!"
Dan patted Phoenix on the back. "Good try, Nicky. Good try."
"I thought I was doing something useful... diplomatically, too." Phoenix's shoulders drooped.
"There's always the next maniacal warlord that comes to visit. Now let's go get some pizza. It's even got stuffed crust!"
"What's the crust stuffed with?"
"Evil, probably," Dan said.
"Can you PLEASE stop for just ONE MINUTE to help me FIGURE THIS OUT?!?!" Twilight yelled. "Can you even IMAGINE being stuck looking like this?!?!"
Chrys squeezed her face together. "Ohhh nooo, seriously, it must be soooo harddd to look scary all the time."
"This is serious. I don't know if I can control my magic like this. I don't know what could happen!"
"You can make a decent pizza," Dan commented. "Relax, Twilight. Just roll with it."
"Just. Roll. With it. That's your advice?!"
"Yeah," they all said simultaneously. Now, it was unanimous advice.
"You're doing fine, Twilight. We all know you'll figure this out eventually. Luna said it might take you a little while to get a handle on it, but that's why it was a good idea to start early," Dan said.
Twilight's eyes shattered like mirrors. "YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS AHEAD OF TIME?!?!"
Dan took some precautionary steps back as the new, taller Twilight got in his face. "The whole dark magic thing? It was my idea. Well, sort-of. I asked her if you could transform like Nightmare Moon, and-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!" The treehouse exploded. Nightfall's energy erupted outward, filling every nook and cranny with a hazy-black and purple magic. The tree, the ground beneath it, reality itself was fractured into swirling polygonal bits tangled together with Twilight's powerful, personal dark magic.
Phase fragmenting, as it was known, was a more powerful tier of Twilight's magic. She was able to use her magic to rend reality itself, time and space, to separate it without destroying or damaging the harmony of the fabric that made it up. Which would be really great if you were a student or a researcher, or fanfiction reader or author, just taking a slice of life at examining it at your whim without affecting anything else. When you put it back together, everything is fine.
Twilight had literally filled the space between dimensions with her own willpower, her magical energy. An extension of her, it pulsed and cast everything in twilight, a strange limbo but not stasis. Dan continued eating the pizza, though his mouth and his arm and the pizza in his hand were now occupying several different planes of existence. It did nothing to ruin the taste.
And just like that, it was over. The magic returned to Twilight and reality came back together, as did the treehouse. Everyone was completely unharmed.
"Okay so... let's not do that again," Phoenix said. Being dimensionally bisected into transient interphasing fractals via radiant aura and sheer dark magical pulse felt a little bit uncomfortable. Imagine having an itch but it's on the ceiling and your arm is in another neighborhood and your head is in space. Might be a little confusing. Physically though, you're fine, so that's a plus.
"See? I don't even know what the heck that was!"
"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Dan said, patting her on the back. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm not going to lie, things have been pretty tough for me, too."
Spike nodded. "He went nuts and started hallucinating in the supermarket."
"I... yeah, the stress might have gotten to me a bit." Dan rubbed his neck. "I mean, maybe it WAS Cleo or somepony just making me see stuff that wasn't there, or maybe..."
"Dan. I'm sorry you're going through a lot."
"GAWD DAMMIT THAT'S NOT AN INVITATION TO HUG." Dan's protests went unheard and both Chrys and Twilight hugged him.
"So, wait," Chrys said, "Twilight being like this is part of your plan?"
Dan nodded. "Yes. And you're all a part of it, too!"
"You created a plan involving ALL of us and you didn't tell ANYBODY?" Chrys asked.
"Hey, at least he treated us equally in not telling anyone anything," Phoenix pointed out.
"Fair point."
Dan disappeared from the kitchen. And nobody noticed this. Which probably should've concerned them, but it was Dan.
"Dan?"
"Mnyeah-hahahaha!!" Dan's voice cackled. "You are no longer in the presence of Dan, mere mortals. Prepare now for the arrival, the first coming, the return of..."
They looked around. Nothing was appearing. The wooden handles of the mops and brooms in the closet clattered together. Twilight gripped the knob with her magic and opened it.
"Yes, prepare yourselves now for... DR. JERK!" (jerk jerk jerk...)
They stared at him. "You put your shirt on wrong."
"NO!" Dan exclaimed. "I'm a supervillain! This is how everybody dresses. Didn't you see Captain America?"
"Fair point," Chrys said again.
"I've got costumes for all of us. We're going to be the bad guys! This is how we beat Celestia's parents!"
Twilight frowned. "At least I now know I'm not the dumbest supervillain ever."
"That's the spir- wait."