"Once upon a time, the most handsome, clever, hilarious..." Discord began.
"Ahem," Fluttershy politely cleared her throat and gave Discord a look.
"...creature did not exist yet," Discord said, cutting his self-praise short. "Instead, in this little slice of paradise was only the roiling chaos. Oh, every now and then something would drift in through a portal, or some wizard would try to harness the unfathomable forces to conquer the world or some other boring drivel, but other than that things were fairly peaceful."
"How does this..." Twilight P began. Fluttershy shushed her and gave her a warning half-glare. It managed to be both adorable and menacing at the same time.
"At some point, bits of chaos in the form of various creatures appeared. They drifted about, randomly colliding and merging every so often, until they started to form a rudimentary consciousness. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, to be honest. But this next part I like to think I've pieced together quite expertly," Discord continued. He fell into pieces with a sound like shattering glass. The pieces reformed into a silk screen and shadows, which shaped themselves into remarkably accurate sillheutes.
"Two alicorn sisters appeared," Discord's voice said, coming from the general area of the shadows, "Now I don't know where they came from or whether there were alicorns before that, but at any rate they must have been the first in awhile."
The alicorn shadows, one slightly taller than the other, danced about.
"Things went along pretty much as normal for a few decades, until one of their usually oh-so-predictable fights with one of those would-be tyrants took a turn."
A third shadow joined the other two. It might have been a kirin, though it was hard to be sure. A bolt zapped from it towards the smaller alicorn. The larger jumped in the way and fell down.
"It was a lucky shot, but sometimes that's all you need." A hint of bitterness krept into Discord's voice at this.
"Usually, you'd predict how this goes. Younger sister flies into a rage, blah blah blah, older one gets back up and all is well. But this time... she didn't get up."
A bolt from the remaining alicorn shot at the possibly-kirin and it fell over.
"Shocked at what she had done, but also mourning her sister, there was a lovely funeral service."
A bearded shadow showed up in the kirin's place and the prone larger shadow was lowered below ground that the observers were not entirely sure how Discord was projecting.
"Then, a few days later, a miracle happened."
The larger shadow reappeared and pulled the old 'tap on one flank while approaching from the other' trick most Pegasi learned in school. The smaller went through an exaggerated motion of shock and they hugged.
"After exchanging notes, the older sister was pretty sure she could do it again. They weren't eager to test it, but the next time a villain came along, the elder was perhaps a touch less cautious?"
Now what was certainly King Sombra's form appeared. A zap from him downed Celestia.
"The death circle sealed away the Crystal Empire, and sure enough, Celestia came back a few days later, right as rain. Well, it wasn't long before both of them started taking full advantage of this power."
Celestia and Luna were shown jumping off of a building, then hurling bolts at each other, then getting stabbed with spears.
"Now had Starswirl still been around, he might have been able to tell them, everything has to balance out somehow. A pony, especially an alicorn, is a big bundle of magic, and most of it is Order. So somewhere, Chaos happens."
Now the alicorns were replaced by a mass of shadows of different creatures.
"Here's one of the fuzzy parts, but it seems that other creatures attuned with Harmony could develop the same power. So the proto-me had bits of all of them, but none had taken to the ability quite so... enthusiastically as the sisters."
A bunch of pony shadows appeared and started merging with the others. Soon a familiar form emerged. It grew until it was normal size and Discord stepped through the screen. The ponies looked back and he was, in fact, no longer behind them casting the shadows.
"So wait... Celestia's your... mother?" Twilight P asked, both incredulous and a bit upset.
"I think Luna would be too?" Sunset added, less upset but still finding the whole thing a bit odd.
"I think they'd be part-parents technically," Twilight H said, "How many things are you anyway?"
"Hmmm... seven? I think. It might be more," Discord said, counting up on his clawed hand, which grew new claws as needed.
"Does Celestia know?" Spike asked the most logical question.
"I've never mentioned it to mummy dearest," Discord said with a shrug. "Sometimes I think she suspects. I'm pretty sure Luna's totally in the dark though." Discord grinned. "Get it? Dark? Because she's the Princess of the Moon?"
"So, what you're saying is, every time I die and come back, another of me pops up here?" Twilight P said, ignoring Discord's terrible joke. "And if I do it too much, another you will be created?"
"Oh I doubt they'd be as charming and accomodating as myself," Discord said, a tuxedo, top hat, and cane suddenly appearing on him, "And I CAN absorb them. I don't want the competition."
Twilight P perked up. "Oh, well then there's no problem."
"There IS a problem!" Discord said, "A big one! Celestia and Luna are one thing. But you, Twilight..."
"But me?" Twilight said.
"Frankly, you taste terrib-le**," Discord said, prounouncing it as 'terr-ee-blay'. He was suddenly in a Maitre Dee uniform with a mustache.
"Oh yes, he tried eating a few of you earlier, but he started vomiting them back up!" Fluttershy said with concern, "His poor tummy just couldn't handle it!"
Spike chuckled at the mental image.
"Spike, that's rude!" Twilight said, turning her head towards him then looking back at Discord, "I'm sure I'm delicious!"
"Oh don't get me started!" Discord said, throwing up his claws and turning a bit green at the memory, "Celestia is pleasantly sweet and sour and a tastes a bit like chicken. Luna is rich and savory with just a hint of lemon. But you're like pouring sugar on brussel sprouts served in spaghetti squash!"***
"Huh, do you think that's why Celestia and Luna don't die very often?" Sunset said, "Like, when Discord was stone they didn't want another one?"
"Or they knew the extra chaos could free me," Discord said, "But that's not the problem now! We've got a bunch of proto-Chaos entities floating around, and I can't keep them down. So what are you, Twilight, going to do about it?"
"Me?" Twilight P said.
"I'm pretty sure he didn't mean me," Twilight H said.
"Yes you!" Discord said, pointing first at the wrong one before quickly changing it to the correct one, "Take some responsibility!"
"It's not my fault I'm... what, healthy and sweet?" Twilight guessed, "...Well ok I guess it is." She thought for a moment, "I can certainly avoid dying going forward but..."
"But?" Discord said, crossing his arms and tapping one claw impatiently.
"But we've already learned so much!" Twilight H said.
"And there's that deal with the Griffons for alicorn steaks," Spike said.
"Steaks?" Discord said, making a face, "How can they stomach that?"
"Oh, well, being a mix of lions and eagles, Griffons can stomach a wide variety of meats. They can even eat carrion in times of shortage," Fluttershy said helpfully.
"I'm amazed at how much alike you and your counterpart are," Sunset said.
Twilight started pacing in a circle as she thought, per her usual.
"The organ transplant idea was limited, and we can probably re-negotiate with the Griffons with a good salespony," Twilight P said.
"Maybe Trixie?" Fluttershy said, "Starlight says she's done well dealing with Grampa Gruff."
Twilight P nodded. "So I can restrict myself to some agreed upon number going forward... Say once a day?"
Her friends started snickering as Discord had poofed into a wig and unicorn horn and started imitating her. Twilight P looked behind her, but Discord was now across the room in a white robe and halo. He went back to normal on seeing Twilight's glare.
"No I don't think so," Discord continued, "If I have to, I suppose I could handle once a month."
"How about once a week?" Twilight P countered.
"Hmph," Discord said, crossing his arms.
"It sounds reasonable," Fluttershy put in. Discord looked at her, slumped, and sighed.
"Oh fine. You're lucky you have such good taste in friends," Discord said.
"I agree," Twilight P replied.
"But!" Discord said, straitening up, "I insist that that not begin until we've dealt with all these!"
"Hmm, is there some other way to disperse these shadows?" Twilight H asked.
"Shadows?" Sunset said.
"Well, what else should we call them?" Twilight H said, "They're 'shadows' 'cast' by the other Twilight when she dies."
"Makes sense to me," Sunset said.
"Can we focus?" Discord asked, "I don't know if there's another way. I've never needed to try before."
Spike looked out the window at the floating Twilights, then around at the space. "What if we took them back to Equestria?"
Everycreature looked at him. Spike became a bit nervous.
"I mean, they're creatures of Chaos in a realm of Chaos, right? They're only a problem because they can soak up the chaos. So what if we put them in Canterlot's dungeon or something? Then they'd just stay put."
"It's a thought," Discord said, stroking his chin with his claw.
"Not as clean a solution as I'd like," Twilight P said, "We only have so many cells."
"Isn't marshalling scarce resources a key feature of research?" Sunset said slyly.
"Oh yes," Twilight H said with a nod, "Even things like the Manehattan Project, which had effectively unlimited funding, had a limited supply of uranium to work with, not to mention power, personel, and gaseous diffusion chambers."
"Right then," Twilight P said with a firm nod, "I'll just have to make every death count! Maybe different ways of dying will even affect the flavor..."
"Yes yes, I'm sure I'll be a Twilight Gourmand before long," Discord said with a dismissive wave, "Before all that though, perhaps you could get yourselves out of my home?"
It took a second to process the unusual phraseology. In the lull, the closet door burst and Twilights spilled out.
"Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle!"
"Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle!"
"Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle!"
"And then Buffy staked Edward," came Discord's voice as the group was buried.
*Best way I could make sense of the Discord/Celestia interactions early on while maintaining the later Discord/Fluttershy ones. Not that in favor of the Discord-Fluttershy romantic ship in general but that's another story, and will probably not be told another time.
**I don't know how to type that little 'e' with the accent over it.
***The brussel sprouts and sugar have meaning, but the spaghetti squash is just in there because I hate spaghetti squash.