She put the key in the lock and turned it. With a pull, the heavy gate opened and she was able to enter the courtyard of the apartment complex.
Now, she had only to walk up five flights of stairs before she could finally rest.
She cursed the lazy, lackluster building maintenance and its non-operational elevator. “That's a lawsuit waiting to happen,” she mumbled as she placed her foot on the first step.
“Student housing,” she grumbled, “Who the fuck gives a shit about students?” Though, admittedly, this was one of the better options afforded to her.
Wallflower didn't care. She just wanted this all to end. The guilt, the shame, the stress, the pain. She just wanted it all to go away. She'd had enough.
Enough of lying. Enough of trying to be perfect. Enough of trying to prove she was better.
Finally face her true feelings about her mother.
Wallflower nearly doubled over on the step. Her eyes stung with tears.
That really was it, wasn't it? Everything stemmed from her hatred and loathing for her mother and, now that she was gone, Wallflower had to deal with it.
She tried to suppress it, but it plagued her through her exams.
Everything she did was to show the world she wasn't her mother—and she ended up being like her.
In truth, she was no better than her mother. Both had their vices. Both would lose their lives to them.
Wallflower stopped. Could she actually go through with that? From what her grandmother said, her mother's death was an accident. Could the same happen to her?
As far as Wallflower knew, the only way to die from cutting was to do it deliberately.
Could she actually go there?
Wallflower wiped the tears from her eyes. It didn't matter how far she went, she'd still have the pain.
And, still, that didn't keep her from trying to end it.
She reached the landing with one thing on her mind: make the pain go away. She didn't know how much or how long it would take, but she needed to do it.
She had been cut too deeply already.
However, Wallflower hadn't expected to see Sunset in the bathroom.
She had not expected to make an emergency trip to the hospital.
She hadn't thought that Sunset had the same urges she did.
It only made her feel worse.
Maybe, if she were stronger, she could have noticed something, done something. She could have saved Sunset.
But, she was weak.
And now, as she wallowed in her weakness, she could hear Applejack's voice in the bedroom.