//------------------------------//
// Heat Season! 
// Story: The Everlasting Hope 
// by Plasmadon 
//------------------------------//




Chapter 12: Heat Season!

Everypony listen up! I know you’re all thinking, “Where’s the next episode?” Well, since I accidentally roped the CMC together before this, I must cut out episode. Instead, I give you…
Hell, and Benny Hill.
P.S. this was incredibly fun to write!
I woke up as usual. Cooking breakfast was, at that point, something I was amazing at. It turns out as long as the ponies knew it wasn’t real meat, they’d eat tofu. So, I set to work making enchiladas. What that has to do with tofu, I have no idea. I think I might have been spending a little too much time with the Doctor. He’s been teaching me, a mere human, to fly the TARDIS. So what if I messed up and accidentally landed us on a spaceship full of Daleks? I got to fly the freaking TARDIS!
I noticed something odd. Usually, AJ and the rest of the family would have come in by now. Granny Smith and Applebloom were seated at the table, but Big Mac and AJ were nowhere to be seen. I chalked it up to having an addiction to work, and guessed they were out in the orchards.
My mistake.
After making breakfast, I headed off towards town to make my usual rounds. The town was oddly deserted. No one was at the market, and even Sugarcube Corner had its lights off. There wasn’t a griffin or anything nearby, so the whole “stranger that looks weird might be evil” gig was out. There just wasn’t any explanation for it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a certain rainbow-maned pegasus approach me.
“Rainbow,” I said curtly.
“Hello, sexy,” she said softly. Whoa, wait a minute!
“Excuse me?” I raised an eyebrow to emphasize. She had a strange look in her eyes; they were almost… hollow. 
“You heard me.” The mare suddenly put on a lustful grin. “Why don’t you and I head back to my place so we can make up?” Guys, I think Rainbow Dash wants to have sex with me. If only I actually liked her…
“Sorry, Rainbow, but I gotta dash!” I yelled, running as fast as I could to the town. She kept up beside me effortlessly.
“You know, you’re making this sooo much harder than it has to be,” she whispered. I suddenly felt hot breath on the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Good lord. I knew that mare was uncontrollable, but this was not what I meant.
“Help!” I shouted. “I’m about to be raped by an Element of Harmony!” Dash giggled beside me.
“Oh, you know it doesn’t have to be rape,” she murmured in my ear. “Besides,” she traced a circle on my back with a hoof, “We both know I could catch you and force you back right now.”
“Ah, but there’s one thing you forgot about me, Colors.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m a motherbucking unicorn!” I shouted, and teleported to the center of town. Mistake number two of the day.
About a dozen mares froze when they saw me. Each one had the same hollow look in their eyes as Rainbow. There must be something in the water… not now, brain.
“A stallion!” one of them shouted.
“Get ‘em, girls!” Colgate yelled. Of all the times for toothpaste to betray me…
“Cue Benny Hill chase music… aaaaand… RUN!” I screamed, leaving everypony but the pegasi in the dust. 
Alright… Benny Hill: check. Nearly getting raped once: check. Huh, I still have to nearly get raped two more times for this to be an adequate chapter…
I ran straight into the library without my knowing. Spike was locked behind a door, staring at me with incredulous horror. At first I didn’t realize why.
Then the door slammed shut behind me.
Twilight was trotting down the stairs, her mane combed straight and her eyes blank. As she faced me, a smirk appeared on her lips.
“Well, look what handsome stallion decided to drop by,” she said, flicking her tail across my nose and giving me a generous view of her butt in the process. “You know, I just learned of a new way to make ponies happy. You wanna help me test it out?” she shook her rear in my face to make her point. I backed away very slowly.
“Look, Twi. As much as I’d love to have sex with you (which isn’t a lot, really), I think I heard somepony calling my name.” I ran to the door and tried to pull it open, but a purple aura locked it in place.
“Oh no you don’t, mister,” she said sternly. I smirked.
“Twi, there’s one problem with your trap. I assume you had the foresight to place a magic-dampening spell on this treehouse, and you locked the door, right?” she nodded, coming ever closer. “Well, I have something that can override both of those things.” A flash of light signaled the appearance of my Keyblade. “This is a Keyblade. It can unlock anything.” A look of comprehension dawned on her face too late. I tapped the doorknob and the locking mechanism clicked. I ran out of the door and jumped clear over a group of crazy mares.
“What is wrong with everypony?!” I yelled to no one. Out of nowhere, Danny appeared beside me.
“I don’t know!” he yelled back. “One minute I’m sleeping peacefully, the next Star and Cinder are trying to molest me!”
“Do you think it’s some kind of disease that only affects females?” I asked. He just shrugged.
“Hell if I know.”
We finally managed to make our way to the edge of the orchards. My theory was that if we could get to Applebloom, her levels of adorable and annoying would snap any mares out of their trances. 
Unfortunately, we were jumped before getting halfway through the trees. Something hard and cold slammed me over the head and I fell back, unconscious.

“Look, he’s waking up.”
“He looks so sexy when he’s asleep.”
My eyes shot open of their own accord as the anxiety filled me. My memories flashed back as a very good looking blond mare filled my view.
“Well, sugarcube, yer finally awake.”
“I can see that, AJ,” I snickered sarcastically. Now that I could move my head, I noticed the other ponies in the barn with me: Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie and Rarity. Six trails of moist earth led from the barn door; one a dark red, four clear, and one a rainbow of colors. The darker trail led up to me. I tried to feel my forehead, but my front hooves were cuffed behind my back. I noticed Pinkie with another pair of cuffs and a gag in her hooves. Great, it’s Kinky Pie. The other trails led up to the mares watching me. Why are they...?
Aw, that’s just nasty.
I tried to use my magic to teleport, but a sharp pain echoed through my forehead. Twilight tutted.
“Nuh uh, Andrew,” she said smugly. “There’s a magic sealing ring on your horn. If you even try a levitation spell, it’ll hit you with a few hundred volts of electricity. But by all means, keep trying.” She licked her lips. “I like it when they struggle.”
The other mares closed in, eyes shining with lust and anticipation. Then I saw my opening. For just a second, AJ’s face flickered with doubt.
“Having second thoughts, AJ?” I asked. “Finally, somepony sees a little bit of sense. Twilight, you’re too weak to break free from your instincts. Rarity, I personally think you went with them of your own accord. Pinkie… wait a minute. You’re a year younger than all of them. If this is some instinct, then why are you affected?”
“What are you talking about?” Pinkie asked happily. “I thought we were playing ‘Cops and Robbers’ and I was the interrogator!” That explains it. An idea quickly formed in my head. If I could get Rainbow angry enough to make a mistake…
The white room formed in my head. Vael looked up at me, laughing his ass off.
“Hardy-har. Vael, how do you feel about pain?”
“I love pain!” he responded happily. “It’s the only emotion other than anger I can actually feel, so it doesn’t really bother me.” Alright, the term “happy” doesn’t describe him quite right. More of a sadistic grinning evil demon.
“Good, because in a second you’re about to feel a whole lot of it.” I transferred the pain receptors in my brain to Vael’s control and continued my talk with the girls.
“And Colors,” I said. “Well, your conscious mind probably isn't smart enough to realize that you even went through this.”
“What did you say?!” she snarled. I smirked.
“You heard me, sweet cheeks.” 
“Oh, I’m gonna enjoy you,” Rainbow said with a sadistic smile on her face. I focused all the magic I could into an unformed spell and released it. For a fraction of a second, I felt a stabbing pain, but then Vael took over and it went away. The way the ground lit up around me, I got the impression that the ring on my horn was glowing. Twilight sighed.
“Haven’t we gone over this?” she asked impatiently. “I’m getting tired of waiting for my fun.”
“Well, Twi, you’re just gonna have to wait a little longer,” I said. The ring exploded as it overloaded, sending an electrical shockwave pulsing out. It hit each of the girls square in the face.
“And that,” I said smugly, “Is my goodbye gift to you fiends.” No, I did not just call my friends fiends. I call their crazy possessed mindset fiends. Distinct difference, people.
I teleported to someplace I knew would keep me safe: Canterlot Castle. I mean, there are male guards literally freaking everywhere!
I trotted through the gates. Mistake number three. Strike, you’re out!
There were guards everywhere: on the tables, half stuck through walls, even in the water barrels. One of them groaned and inched his way towards me.
“R…run…” he whispered. “They’re… b-beasts.” Crap. I just forgot Celestia and Luna were females too, didn’t I? And to top it all off, the elder has this deep-set hatred for me.  Hopefully I could snap them out of it, but I didn’t have much time. I raced through the halls, avoiding the still safe guards. I nearly ran into Celestia a couple times, but unicorn horns have this weird built-in magic radar. I burst through one of the doors, hoping I’d find a safe room.
What was there instead was a bedroom. A silver crescent moon was embroidered on navy curtains. A midnight blue fire sparkled from the obsidian fireplace, and the walls were painted with stars. Luna’s bedroom, by the looks of things. And Luna was staring at me from her bed. Without a word, she tackled me to the blue woolen rug.
“No. I am not taking any of this shit from you, Lu.” I had already been nearly raped three times, so another wasn’t really on my agenda. So, I did the only thing a sensible male would do to a sex-crazed woman.
I slapped her across the face.
She blinked a few times before nervously getting off me. “Andrew?” she asked tentatively. “Where are we? I remember being with Tia in the throne room, then everything went all blurry. I remember feeling a lot of… pleasure…” she trailed off as she realized what happened. She squealed and jumped back, horrified.
“No worries, Luna. You didn’t get me.” She visibly relaxed.
“But why did I feel such uncouth emotions?” she asked, a blush rising on her face. I pointed out of the room.
“Well, there are thirty guards in the kitchen that might explain.” I grinned as she went maroon. “Again, no worries. I promise I won’t tell anypony.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” she sighed. “Why are you here, anyways?”
“I need a place to hide. Something’s wrong with all the mares in this crazy place.”
Luna looked at me for a second, then started laughing. “It… it’s Heat Season,” she choked out.
“Damn, I forgot. I’m so glad that someone decided to tell me.”
“That was sarcasm, wasn’t it?”
“Good observation.” I trotted around the room in agitation. “Anyway, I need a place to hide until this all blows over. Speaking of which, how long does Heat Season last?”
“Well, since Ponyville was finally on time with the weather this year, it sent the mares’ internal clocks wild. Nevertheless, it should be over by the day after tomorrow at the latest.”
Great. I have a day and a half to spend in a castle avoiding an oversexed princess, while at the same time managing to entertain myself. Or…
“See you later, Lu!” I shouted, running to the window. I teleported to a clearing a good four hundred miles into the Everfree Forest and gave Vael control.

So, a day and a half passes, I turn back into myself and return to Ponyville. The girls apologized profusely for injuring and nearly raping me, but I held up a hoof.
“I got one thing out of that that makes your apologies enough.” They stared at me, uncomprehending. “I have new material to torture Colors with.” I leaned in to whisper in Rainbow’s ear.
“You cum rainbows.”
She blushed furiously and started stuttering. I started laughing like mad at her reaction.
Ah, it’s good to be in Equestria.