Chapter Twenty: When the Book Drops
Written by TheCrimsonDM
By the time Twilight had gotten done expelling her breakfast as if she had been possessed by a demon the carpet here was probably ruined. Honestly this felt like the last time she dared at a quesadilla. Never again she told herself with those… unfortunately she couldn't say the same for Celestia. No matter how horrible the after effects of having a massive tongue shoved far enough into her throat that her nose could taste it, the actual sensation was amazing.
Still the seed of something had been planted into Twilight’s mind, something that she had never considered and now couldn’t get out of her head. What would she have done if Celestia had not kissed her to prove she did indeed feel attraction toward Twilight? Going on a magical rampage felt too generic. Throwing herself off the highest tower of the castle, on reflection, wouldn’t work if she was immortal. Killing an alicorn was, well as far as she was aware it was impossible.
So what was really left for her?
That one question got stuck in the gooey mess that was her mind. Somewhere between imagining Celestia kissing her again, though perhaps less deep, and thoughts of Celestia kissing her even deeper until her tongue filled every twist and turn of Twilight’s insides… an uncomfortable thought but one that she couldn’t erase. There the one question stood, what was left if Celestia didn’t love her?
The one answer that came to her was one she found herself surprised by. There was something left for her, or somepony rather. She had felt a small amount of interest, of curiosity toward the mare, especially after all the dreams she’d had. Still in the waking hours she hadn’t given it more than a few seconds of thought, now she was thinking about it for minutes at a time.
Luna was there. Her dark-lit beauty was something to behold. The mischievous and playful nature of her was amazing. Rumors of her passion were unrivaled. Honestly if even half the things Twilight heard of, and understood, were true, then it would take six mares minimum to make Luna truly happily ever after.
While Cadance was busy using the most industrial-strength magic she could to cleanse the carpet Twilight excused herself intent on going to her old room. She was pretty sure a toothbrush was still there. Her mouth still tasted... awful.
On the way to her room she was stopped just out front of it by Pinkie Pie. The bouncy mare smiled at her. “Hiya, Twilight!”
Twilight stared at her. “Oh, hey, Pinkie. How’s your day going so far?”
She put a hoof to her chin. “Well you keep threatening me whenever I try to get close to Celestia, so not as good as I’d like.”
That stung… “I’m sorry. I don’t mean too. I just… I don’t like the idea of sharing.”
“Well I don’t think any of us have a choice now, she’s marrying all of us you know.”
“Not that she wants too.”
Pinkie Pie blinked. “What does that mean?”
Twilight swallowed. “I mean, just that I’m sure she really just wants to marry me and this was the only way she could think of to accomplish it.”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “True nuff! But she’s still marrying us all and I have it on good authority she might be interested in what that could mean.”
“Pinkie, I’m not interested in this conversation right now.”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “Okie Dokie Lokie! Then I’m going to tell you what I really wanted all along.”
Twilight stared at her. “And that is?”
“We aren’t just marrying the princesses you know.”
Twilight could feel her eyes wanting to burst out of her head. “Oh who now? Discord, Chrysalis, no wait, we’re all going to marry Miss Smarty Pants as well.”
Pinkie Pie giggled again and brushed a hoof over Twilight’s chest fluff. “No silly, we’re all marrying each other.” She made a particularly sly look in her eyes, a matching smile grew on her lips. “I’ve always thought I’d only be happy if I could marry my best friend, but I couldn’t pick just one. Now I don’t have too!”
Twilight stared at her. “W-what are you suggesting?”
Pinkie Pie bounced forward and her lips met with Twilight’s. Without any thinking the pink mare’s tongue slipped inside and rolled around with Twilights. For a moment Twilight froze, then she pushed forward with her own tongue remembering the feeling she had with Celestia. Oddly enough Pinkie’s mouth tasted like frosting. After only a few seconds Pinkie’s tongue froze. She backed up and pulled herself away gagging and coughing.
Twilight froze. “Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m really bad at this.”
Pinkie Pie gagged. “What did you eat? It tastes like pancakes, only after they’ve already been mostly digested.”
A cold sick feeling was washing over her. “I um… I may have thrown up.”
Pinkie Pie’s cheeks turned green. She galloped away as quickly as she could nearly screaming words so fast most of them blended together. “Thanks for the kiss. Ihavetogototherestroomnowbye!”
Twilight had barely caught what the mare had said but she knew it meant she was probably disgusting. Well two kisses down, one made her vomit and the next made another pony vomit. Brushing her teeth was the least of her concerns, she needed some Celestia Fire Whisky to wash away the fact that apparently her kisses were cursed.
Opening the door she trotted inside and shut it behind her. It was clean but looked untouched from the last time she was in here. Except for the bed which was a bit of a mess. Going to it she could actually smell Spike’s scent on it. He must have arrived last night and she missed him. She was quick to grab a toothbrush from her armour and using a bit of magic and some toothpaste began brushing her teeth.
There was also a paper bag on the bed. She opened it up and pulled out a magazine with a very attractive pegasus mare on the cover striking a pose that made twilight’s eyes focus on the flanks.
Twilight spoke around the toothbrush in her mouth. “Oh yes! The educational material.” While busying herself brushing her teeth she sat down and opened the magazine.
The first page she jumped to showed two mares in a rather uncomfortable position. Their hooves must have slipped because they were both rubbing… oh… no they were looking right at the thing they were rubbing. Was this… was this what Celestia expected of her? Twilight could do this, well her hoof was maybe a little too small for Celestia’s bounty, but she could try. Flipping to the next page Twilight found herself utterly confused and winging in imagined pain. One mare was looking like she was having the most pleasurable massage of her life, only she wasn’t having one. Instead there was another mare with some kind of strange tool shoving it where things normally came out of, not into.
It took Twilight a moment before she frowned to herself and said simply. “But that hole’s for pooping. She’s just going to cause some blockage and swelling from… ouch.”
Another page, another strange procedure she was not familiar with. She started to think about it and realized one important thing as she flipped through these pages. “Luna didn’t prepare me for crap. How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to do that! I don’t even… I’m pretty sure that pony’s peeing!”
She really longed for the dreams of just being licked in strange places and caressed awkwardly until she woke up. Also Luna didn’t ever try to choke her with her tongue. In fact Luna, at least dream Luna, was really good at kissing. If Twilight remembered right.
Weird, the more she thought of Luna the more she imagined some of the less disgusting or painful looking things with the dark alicorn. Maybe this book was actually useful after all. Of course she didn’t understand why she had never seen a book like this before. She ran a library, and libraries had magazine sections, sure not the best but they existed. She made a mental note to try and stock some of these in the Golden Oaks Library later… or on second thought maybe just under her bed for educational purposes.
She made a mental note to thank Spike for this. There were some really interesting things in this magazine. In particular she found a few kissing techniques she wished to practice on… somepony. Honestly at this point between Celestia, Luna, and Pinkie Pie, she didn’t really care who she practiced with so long as she got good and fast. Celestia was expecting her to be a proper wife, and what kind of wife can’t kiss her bigger beautiful alicorn wife properly? Not a very proper one, no not at all.
Twilight turned a page and her frown deepened. “But… but… isn’t sex just between two ponies? There’s like four of them there. HOW? It looks confusing, I’d just get lost… and… I have seven brides… and Pinkie said we were marrying each other… oh…”
After turning the page her toothbrush dropped from her mouth. “Okay, that’s it, I need help.”
She slipped the magazine into the paper bag and having fished with brushing she used some mouthwash and spit into the sink nearby. She was going to get help from somepony, anypony. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, heck even Rarity at this point would be better to advise her on exactly what she was looking at in this book.
Taking a step out of her door she marched down the hall looking for somepony she recognized. With luck she saw an old familiar door cracked open. She fully opened and walked into Shining Armor’s office. Spike was there and he smiled at Twilight waving at her.
Twilight waived back shutting the door behind her. “Thank you, Spike. This material is very helpful, unfortunately now I am very, very confused.”
Spike saw the paper bag and snickered, grabbed his bowl of gems and hopped off the chair. “Seat’s all yours, Twilight.” He walked to the door and with a hop he opened it and closed it behind him as he left.
Shining Armor looked at her. “What’s got you confused, Twilly?”
She opened the bag, pulled out the magazine. She had even marked the most confusing page with a lavender bookmark and opened it up to show Shining Armor. “Explain, how, now.”
The look he gave the magazine was the same kind of look most ponies gave the ursa minor when it rampaged through town. At least he wasn’t saying-
Shining Armor opened his mouth. “The horror.”
“Oh great, and there it is. Now since I have a very real chance of ending up like this with my seven different brides I demand an explanation on how, what I should do, and why they are doing that!” she pointed a hoof at two ponies who were doing the most confusing thing to each other.
Shining Armor began to rise. She heard a thud from under his desk as if something just unseen, hard, and huge must have hit the underside of the table when he tried to stand. He promptly sat back down. “Okay… guess I’m not getting out of this one am I?”
“No.”
He groaned. “Okay, fine. Let’s uh… let’s go to something a little easier to digest first.”
She flipped the book back a few pages.
He coughed. “That’s her butt!”
“That’s what I said.”
“That cannot feel good.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Shining Armor cringed. “This… can we please ask Cadance for help?”
Twilight glared at him. “You’re my big brother, you’re supposed to teach me everything. Normally about boys, but seeing as how neither of us know or want anything to do with them, let’s focus on the one thing you have experience with.”
“Mares?”
“Mares.”
Needless to say Twilight picked the wrong teacher. His explanations, although something more than she had before were lacking and even he was stunned by some of the things in the magazine. If he was shocked, then it was clear that these were not normal proceedings for the mating ritual. If that was the case, she could at least figure out how many ice packs she would need for her rear end. She also wondered how many she would need for any other parts of her body once seven mares got done doing whatever it was they wanted to with her.
She intended to pester both Luna and Cadance about this next.