Golden rays of light from the setting sun shone off to his right as a blue pegasus flew over the green countryside of Prance. Flutterbreeze knew he would have to land soon. He had been flying the better part of the day and still had a great distance left on his journey.
The gentle breeze that had served as a tailwind was now replaced by a spray of warm, humid air that smelled of the sea, which blew from ahead. A break in the dense fog ahead allowed him sight of the shimmering waters beating against the bluffs.
‘Looks like my rest will have to come sooner, rather than later.’ He started descending to the ground, spotting what appeared to be an inn as lights were lit within. Flutterbreeze knew he could not fight the terrible force of his hunger any longer, and decided to take the opportunity to remedy his stomach’s sad plight.
Passing through the doors of the establishment, he came upon a quite varied scene. Over by one corner sat a group of salty seaponies that had come ashore in their dinghies after a day at sea.
A group of stallions sat in another corner talking about a game of hoofball they had seen, while a number of businessponies in top hats attempted to ignore them. Others littered the room, including a mime that wandered about.
He approached the innkeeper’s desk. The balding gentlecolt greeted him with a jolly complexion. “Greetings traveller, are you looking for accommodations for tonight?”
“I would like a room, thank you.” His stomach growled on cue. “And some supper.”
“Excellent, may I ask your name?”
After giving it a moment of thought, he decided he was far enough from his destination to use his real name. “Flutterbreeze.”
The innkeeper handed handed him a room key and pointed. “Down that hallway, last door on the left. Enjoy your stay!”
“Thank you.”
After checking out the room, which was cozy though not elegant, he went back to the common room to eat. When asked whether he wanted mushy peas, mash, bickies, or fairy cakes, he responded with “One of everything!” He didn’t know what any of it was and he hadn’t eaten all day, after all.
Although the food was clearly not, the seats were in the style of Prance. They were designed so that ponies would lay down on their sides while eating, head slightly elevated. The theory was that this posture aided digestion, but as Flutterbreeze tried it he decided it was more likely that they sat this way so they could feel decadent.
Just as he was taking the first bites of his bubble & squeak, some shady characters entered and the whole inn became quiet. What he assumed to be the leader of the group, a purple stallion flaunting a pompadour, scanned the room. Noticing the large quantity of food at Flutterbreeze’s table, they started to approach. ‘Gonna be one of those days.’
“Well look what we have here boys. That’s quite a spread you got there, pal. A real nosh-up! Got anything to share with us?”
“Some advice. Don’t pick a fight with somepony you don’t know.”
“Oh, looks like we got ourselves a joker here. Well I have a joke for you, what’s black and blue and red all over?”
“Luna’s biography.”
“Again with the jokes, this guy! You think you’re funny? Well I got news for ya. You are pretty funny, actually, but we’re still gonna rough you up a bit for loud-mouthing.”
Flutterbreeze sighed. He didn’t want to fight. He was still very tired and his stomach was empty. Still, the current conflict seemed unavoidable. “Have it your way. But isn’t it a bit cowardly to take me on one versus one, two, three... seven?” He was counting on the fact that goons like these were always cocky, and usually stupid.
“Don’t call me a coward, we’ll take you on with five.”
“You can’t do it with just two?”
“Three.”
“Deal.” It was a bit of an odd thing to haggle over, but it seemed to work in his favor. ‘Still, there’s no doubt the others will join in once the fight starts.’
As they all walked outside, Flutterbreeze tried to predict how the fight would go, planning his move. ‘Alright, when they come at me, I’ll turn and buck the two at his sides. The others will then rush in from behind, so I’ll fly up to take on their only two pegasi. That will leave just three more...’
“Ok hot shot,” said the gang leader, “I’ll make you a deal. If you can knock me out in one buck, we’ll leave you be.”
This caught the blue pegasus off guard.
“Nopony has ever been able to do it, though, so I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you.” A smug look spread across the stallion’s face. He took off his leather jacket, revealing a set of wings. He hovered a couple feet above the air. “Alright, come at me bro!”
‘He has a strong jaw. That’s why nopony can knock him out in one buck. That and the fact that most would just aim at the face.’ Flutterbreeze picked his target. Solar plexus, just below the sternum.
He focused his strength, taking a few deep breaths. He dug his hooves in and took a mighty leap at his foe, striking him underneath the ribcage with all his strength. The stallion was sent flying... well, more like falling, and landed hard on the ground. He appeared to be knocked out, and the others that had circled around Flutterbreeze now backed off, amazed.
‘Now I can eat in peace.’ He wasn’t particularly proud of the conflict, but Flutterbreeze would have been too tired to run... and he was hungry. He was glad that only one pony had to get hurt, though, and there shouldn’t be any permanent damage, except to his ego.
Flutterbreeze awoke the next morning after a wondrous sleep. Not even a horde of drunk, singing stallions woke him up. He picked up his mailbag and strapped it on. There were no letters, but it wasn’t empty. After returning the room key and paying the innkeeper he started to walk out the door.
“Wait!”
He stopped and turned around, looking for the source of the shout. He saw a familiar tall hairdo coming towards his quickly. ‘Not this again.’
“Hey, blue pegasus guy, hold up!” The purple stallion approached him alone with a confidant smile. “What’s your name?”
“Flutterbreeze.” he said, confused.
“I’m Pompadour, and I want to be your apprentice.”
“My what!?!”
“More like your disciple, really. After the way you trashed me, I knew, right there laying on the ground with my guts inside out, that I had to be more like you.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m serious! I disbanded my gang and everything. I’m not ready to be the leader of anything. Not yet, at least.”
“I can’t teach you anything, and even if I could, I don’t want to. You use force to bully and take from others.”
“Hey, a pony’s gotta eat. Besides, all I really want is to become as strong as I can possibly be. I’m always working my way towards the top. That’s why I have a staircase on my flank, and that’s why I want you to train me.”
“I’m just a mailpony.”
“A mailpony who could have taken down all seven of us last night if you needed to.”
“You’re the weirdest pony who’s ever tried mugging me. I’m sorry, but my answer is no. You aren’t coming with me and you aren’t following me.” Flutterbreeze flew off without another word.
“Like hell I’m not!”
In less than a minute, Flutterbreeze could see the shores of the island of Albion. The countryside was very green, filled with rolling hills, clumps of trees, and towns everywhere. Soon a thought hit him. ‘I have no idea where I’m going.’ He pulled a map from his mailbag to remedy this situation and continued on his merry way.
At last, just passed Trottingham, the city of Manechester came into view. He instinctively started looking for the post office before realizing that he wasn’t going to deliver mail on this trip. Flying past the burgeoning town to the hills just beyond, he spied the castle of Duke Mountague, his final destination. It was nowhere near as extravagant as Cantorlot, but was impressive in its own right.
He alighted near the main gate and waited to be let in. The gatekeeper looked confused, and so became Flutterbreeze as well. “Oh, the bag! I’m not here to deliver mail. I was invited as a guest.”
This confused the gatekeeper even more. “Wait here.” he said before going within, assumedly passing the message along to somepony else before retuning to the gate. An few awkward moments passed before the duke himself showed up.
“Ah, Sir Rufflepuff! Good to see you.”
At this the perplexed guard let the blue pegasus pass. He and the duke started walking through the castle’s courtyard and interior.
“I must admit I was surprised to see you here so soon. I only heard you were coming two days ago. Luckily I always have spare rooms available.” The duke had a very merry disposition as he talked. “It seems my gatekeeper mistook you for the post.”
“The mailbag I carry around often causes confusion. It’ remarkably spacious for its size and easy to carry though. But please tell me, your grace, how you first heard that I was coming.”
“Two days ago, I was honored by the visit of another guest who took me completely by surprise. He said a friend of his, meaning you, was also expected to arrive shortly. What he didn’t know was that you and I have already met.”
“Really? And who, sir, may I ask is this other guest?”
“Don’t you know? It’s none other than the renowned detective, Shetland Hames.”
Flutterbreeze facehoofed. “Of course... did he say anything else?”
“Only that you two were here on a matter of private business. I do hope, though, that you will have time to join in on some of social events around here during you stay. You are welcome to stay as long as you need to, the entire summer if you like.”
“Your grace, I am greatly indebted to you for your generous hospitality.”
“Oh, nonsense. It’s a treat having two gentlecolts such as yourselves stay at the castle. And please, Rufflepuff, call me Mountague, for I do hope we become friends during this time. Oh, I heard you were knighted recently, congratulations.”
“Must have been for coating his highness, Prince Blueblood in a mountain of cake!”
“Ahahaha! I can see no better reason! Yes, I think we will get along just fine, you and I.”
In his quarters, a lavish suite, Flutterbreeze set his bag down in a corner. He then turned toward around to face a large plant on the other side of the room. “I know you’re there.”
The leaves rustled. A grey stallion with brown mane and magnifying glass cutie mark emerged from the foliage. “How did you see me?”
“I didn’t. You haven’t bathed since we met back in Fillydelphia, Hames. You could have at least tried to use proper hygiene for the sake of our host.”
The earth pony sniffed himself. “Quite right. Perhaps you aren’t as slow-witted as I first thought.”
‘Just ignore him, Flutterbreeze... wow, I just realised, he’s short.’
“So this is it, the brilliant detective and the secret agent working together to solve the world’s crises. I hope you’re ready, old chap. We’re working against the machinations of one of the most devious and cunning criminal masterminds in all of Equestrian history!”
“Oh, I’m far more worried about something you might do.”
“More afraid of my own mistakes than of my enemies designs... quite right, old chap. I’ll bring you up to speed tonight. In the meantime, I’d best go wash off, lest the enemy smell my presence before I take my first step out the door.”
As the detective left, Flutterbreeze heaved a big sigh. ‘There’s no such thing as a ‘normal’ adventure, is there? If I make it till next year in one peace, my mind surely wont! Shetland Hames... who would have expected him to be so short?’