Is this how it feels...living a life on the run, with states worth of sheriffs endlessly tracking your scent? Does it make you feel watched, eyes glued to every corner? Does it make you feel lonely, as the beings around you are nothing more than wisps of a time since discarded? Does it make you feel exiled? Whatever it was, it certainly made him feel like the only man on the planet, let alone the sidewalk.
Hoodie pulled tight, sweatpants stuffed deep within his socks as he whittled and waddled his way down to the dining hall. The same path. The same hours. The same…no, this isn’t the same person. Or bug. These serious thoughts on the mind made him sluggish within his skin. Like he was encased in garbage bags on top of the ensemble he had on already. Every couple minutes his eyes would move behind the darkened fog of his hood, contrasting heavily with the bright sun shining down. They saw those who occupied the parking lots and outdoor seating. Much like before, their faces blank with the mark of unwittingness.
What if…what if there’s someone here who knows? What if they all know…what if they’re all like him?
Walking past the gym, or wellness center as it’s called for delusions of heroism, a group of girls made their way past him to the front entrance. All talking loud about personal affairs, as you usually do with sensitive material. One of the girls, a brunette with a softball body, glanced over her shoulders looking at him with a curious aura. It was probably nothing, just general human movements taking in exterior information, but it was enough to send chills down his body and ring several bells in his head. He tensed up and increased his pace, now speed walking the rest of the way like an antisocial loser.
Or you know, like a guy projecting to be himself, when in reality he’s actually a freak of nature who really didn’t want to be found out by anyone who may call the authorities and send him away to some government lab to be sliced and diced in a mad science experiment.
But that’s such a mouthful.
He pushed through the double doors and passed the staff positioned on some makeshift guard. He guessed they wanted him to be monitoring those walked in, but look on his face clearly stated he wasn’t paid enough to truly care about ID-ing students. As he rounded corners and avoiding any sort of contact, his body came to a sudden stop upon reaching the main room of the building. Tables everywhere, noise everywhere, people everywhere! Bad paranoia! Get out! Hide! Run!
No, he must control himself. Just breathe and take a look around.
…Aha! I found you, faker!
Just as he suspected, he found himself here. Attempting to seclude in one of the many corners of the oddly shaped building. Seriously, who designed this monstrosity? It’s like if someone took all the worst traits of an inside-out chicken coup and kissed it upside the head with an aluminum bat, then sprayed it blue and gold for good measure.
…
…It was the art department, wasn’t it?
Fantastic, just exquisite, now he couldn’t even sit somewhere to properly scope him out. All this stress was starting to make him feel rundown, very out of breath. Wait, he knew this feeling…shit! He was gonna change back, quick!
His body went into autopilot, taking the reigns and swiftly walked over the building’s bathrooms. He put his hand on the men’s door, but after giving it some thought, he groaned internally as he went over to the women’s instead. With a steady creak, he opened the door and peered. Empty. Not a sound.
Of course it is. It’s single-person use, you idiot.
He quickly leapt in the room and shut the door, body easing as he exhaled one massive sigh of relief. He was starting to swim underneath all these clothes…and the second layer.
Speaking of which.
With one more look to the door for absolute assurance, he hastily stripped off all his clothes and placed them atop the toilet paper dispenser. He then climbed onto the toilet, trying to put his entire body atop the seat. And in a split second, his body changed back to his horse state. Feeling the brisk chills freezing over him in nonexistent goosebumps.
“Whew, never knew it was this tiring just being me. I guess that’s why they all left.” Well…except for one in particular. Mother Nature, who was always near. In fact, she was here right now, knocking hard. Impatiently so. He looked down between his legs. Just get it over with. Best not to add any more issues to my plate. He moved his lower body around, positioning his nether regions above the toilet bowl while holding his tail. Inhaling. Releasing.
It’ll be over soon, it’ll be over soon, it’ll be-ah! What the…am I leaking? Why is it that color? What the fu-…oh, it’s gone now. I guess I’m done. Ew.
After fumbling with the paper in between his hooves and generally being grossed out, nothing should ever come out of you that looked or smelled like that, he started to think about his next move.
“Now, if I were me…or me pretending to be me, in this scenario where I’m not actually me but still me knowing I’m me while me doesn’t know that I know that I don’t know I’m me while I’m me, how would I get my attention?”
This shouldn't be too hard, think! …Aha! A girl! That usually works for any eighteen year old high on hormones! It would also be beneficial for exiting this bathroom in particular. Probably should’ve given that move some more thought, but whatever. The type of girl was crucial here.
…Maybe he should try an ex? No, no, that wouldn't go over well.
…No, definitely not his mom. That’d be incredibly weird, but familiarity may work in his favor.
Something familiar. Knowledgeable. Fictional.
He finally got it, but it didn’t bring any relief, just the red hot burns of embarrassment. Alright, I think I can get this right. I’ve seen enough…erm…fan art at this point, there’s no way I couldn’t. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this.
He sat up straight, folding his wings flat to his back and flicked the film from his face. He held his hooves outwards and splayed his legs best as possible to avoid anything getting caught. He closed his eyes and steadied his breath, going though the motions of melting manipulation once more. Just like this morning, the green flame began to smolder across his body, licking his limbs and gnawing at the bones. But this time, the fire tickled him differently in rather important areas, but he’d felt them before in previous circumstances, using very different methods.
As expected, the whole process had completed within a matter of seconds and he opened his eyes. Still in the bathroom. No knocking on the door, only sounds of the buzzing fluorescent light and the muffled footsteps of other students shuffling outside. He brought a hand up to his face to find the lines of his fingers sanded out to be a lot smoother, his nails a lot longer. He gave them a flex, to which they responded accordingly. He then moved down to make mental notes on the rest of his body.
Her body.
“No…way…” He said, catching the sound of his vocals. He got off the toilet and immediately put his clothes back on. Instead of swimming in a sea of sweat, he now felt like he was being smothered in a mountain of blankets. Buried deep within cotton reservoirs and rocky reverse weave. He padded down his clothes and walked over to the sink and looked into the stained and cracked mirror. Staring deeper into her face, blushing slightly.
“I look just like her, I sound just like her. A carbon copy…” His spine had compressed by nearly a foot, with the rest of his proportions adjusting to accommodate. His hoodie was now incredibly oversized, hanging way below his waist and devouring his hands. The strings of his sweatpants double-triple-quadruple tied to stay on his feminine hips.
The only thing that was different, or rather the same, were his eyes. Instead of the blue he’d gazed into for hours within his headset, the hue of green that’d freaked the guy out earlier remained. A fading gradient of teal-ish top down the glow underneath. But other than that, it was just how he always saw her…how he saw her last night in those final moments. He looked down and cupped the newly mounted features on his chest. Giving them a soft, satisfied squeeze. “Heh, these’ll surely get the attention of my knight in shining armor.” He whispered with a sinister snicker. Before cutting back to reality, his arms immediately pulled away.
What am I doing? Stay on task here, don’t get…distracted.
He opened the door casually and stepped back out into the main room. Nothing had changed, nor were the masses stopping to turn to him. Everything remained perfectly normal and painfully boring. The relief washed over him now that he could walk around without hiding himself under a hood. Letting him keep the disguise’s hair out of his face. Guess what they say is true: change your hair, change your life. And apparently also your face. And your body. And your gender-you know, if you just change everything about you, he could say without a doubt you'd have a new life.
Behold and see! Within the blink of an eye, this man transforms himself from a weird introverted loner to an even weirder quirky girl who’s trying way too hard!
Warning: side effects may include rapid deterioration of one’s mental state, which may impact their ability to perform physical tasks. Such as walking, talking, and overall functioning like a normal human being. He should’ve read the fine print, finding himself bobbing and swaying far more than he’d prepared for due to new assets. His face continued to be red as he went into line in the most casual of stumbles.
Most people couldn’t care less about his presence, more engaged with the happenings within their own worlds. A few did give looks however, spewing the muted scents of intrigue and curiosity into the air. They weren’t anything too overpowering, however. Allowing him to remain engaged enough to pick up a tray and walk across the many assorted aisles of food, as they wanted this stuff to be called. His eyes would go back to him, this double, still sitting by himself at the table, picking at his eggs. He hasn’t looked at him, not once. Tied to his phone by a pair of headphones. Almost like he was silently screaming LEAVE ME ALONE. I HATE PEOPLE. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. Well, he acted the same way to be fair. Nevertheless, this little front wasn’t going to deter him.
Someone had walked up to the food aisle next to him, giving a glance before a full on double take. “Hey, you’re that girl I saw walking past the gym earlier this morning, right?”
He turned to see who this perplexed stranger was, seeing the same sporty brunette from before giving him a pleasant look. “Oh, uh-I” He forced a cough to cover up letting his actual voice slip. “Uh, y-yeah that’s me.”
“Ah, I guess we actually meet for real this time, huh?” A look of remembrance flashed on her face, trying to remain polite. “Oh, I’m sorry, where are my manners? My name’s Jane.”
Jane’s the name, softball’s your game?
“I’m Chriiiiiii-Chrissy! Yeah! My name’s Chrissy.” He said quickly as he put some hair behind his ear.
“Chrissy?” She repeated cautiously. Considering he spouted it like he’d never said it before. Which was true.
“Yeah, uh…it’s short for…Christine…I think.” He forced a chuckle. “…I’ve had a pretty rough morning.”
“Seems like it, you look like you grabbed all your boyfriend’s clothes…” She looked down to his chest with a sympathetic smile. “…And I think you forgot some other essentials, too.”
He froze. I forgot about the bra! “I-I did?”
She giggled and motioned her thumb. “Just so you know, the coffee machine is over there.”
“Oh, yes, thank you. Your help is greatly appreciated.” He finished getting his food and picked up his tray. “I’ll uh…go do that. See you around.” He went to walk over, but she cut him off with her hand.
“Wait, why don’t you come sit with us?” He saw the table where her friends and other athletes were eating. “We usually got a few open seats in the morning.”
His face went red again. “That’s awfully nice of you, but I think I'll be good today.”
Her positivity dimmed slightly, but she kept her smile. “Aww, alright then. It was nice meeting you, Chrissy. Have a good one.” She looked at his face one last time. “I must say, you have really pretty eyes. They’re quite…captivating.” She finished and walked off to the table with her friends.
…That went over well, and slightly odd at the same time. He thought, working the machine of beaned amphetamine as he searched for places to sit. In the time he had his conversation with her, it looked like a table across from his target had opened up. He walked over casually, making it appear that it was an in the moment decision. He reached his destination, now still with the tray in his hands as he mugged the double. Standing. Watching. Fuming.
He felt this intense rage build up inside of him. One he’d never felt before in his life, just at the mere sight of this thing. Sitting there, eating and drinking as if everything were hunky dory, like it had not a clue about what it’d done to him! It didn’t give a single fuck! He wanted to take his horn and stab the bastard right through the heart!
Slow down, control yourself. You can’t break now, not when you’re this close.
He pulled the chair with a huff and sat down. Realizing now that he’d accidentally bent the tray inbetween his hands. He really needed to get a hand on that. Or else he was gonna crush the phone in his hand, which he used as makeshift cover so he could spy on the double. Hmm, I wonder if we even have the same apps, the same contacts…
Maybe he’d find that out eventually, after a big ol’ serving of scouting, lazily scrambled with a side of bacon. He picked up a piece and ate it. Very tasteless. The screen read around 10:15 in the morning. So far, so good. He managed to tune everything out around him, strangers in the background melting into the untranslatable mush of fluff conversations. It was so surreal, an out-of-body experience like he’d never had before. He wondered if he closed his eyes and gave some serious concentration, he would wake up over there at the table. Only sitting there by himself, and this whole situation would just fade away into his subconscious. But he knew better.
Is this really what I look like to others? All alone and awkward...I-I literally just scratched my dick, hand down my pants! Oh no, please don’t sniff, please don’t sniff-you did! Arrgh! How could you be that much of an uncivilized cretin? You low born worthless dribble shat from a whore’s womb-“
Woah, where did that come from?
...Apparently the double wondered as well, as he'd now looked up from his phone. Looking straight at him.
He'd also realized he’d been staring at him now for a good long while, face flushed with secondhand embarrassment from seconds prior. Maybe even days, weeks, years at most. He returned his attention back to his tray as he felt strands of sweat run along his mashed muzzle.
As time went on, they played a mental tennis match of passed glances and suspicions as they continued to eat their breakfast. It was long and painfully tiring, considering he was doing nothing more than watching, checking phone, then looking off to a wall when noticed.
Rinse. Repeat. Rot.
Ugh, this is ridiculous! It's like watching paint dry! Even worse is that he didn't have anything to show for his efforts. The guy hadn't done a single thing that could be deemed suspicious, which just made him all the more suspicious from his viewpoint.
He was struggling to keep his eyelids open. He felt like he hadn't blinked for around ten minutes at this point, with this whole scenario dragging on for who knows how long. So much for a catch him in the act moment.
You! How dare you think you can just sit here eating your breakfast and mind your own business! Don't you know that I think you're an alien parasite coming to destroy me and quite possibly the world at large, and you're spoiling it with your sheer mundanity? C'mon, do something evil!
He needed a drink...coffee.
He picked up the cup and gave the contents a tiny swirl to see if any steam was present. A speck of a fume swirled in the light. Well, guess it's time to see if this thing is still warm or not.
He felt the liquids as they splashed over his tongue, filling his mouth with its dull warmth. But from the back of his throat, he started to feel, to taste, something else. Something that was incredibly sweet, full of sudden sparks of bubbly passion shooting through his body. His hips spasmed at the jolt, his insides going hot from an unknown source. Whatever this was, it was overwhelmingly delicious! It cast a haze of happiness over his brain, taking over his entire thought process for a few seconds before dissipating. He caught his breath as he removed the cup from his lips, now feeling fully awake with his senses rejuvenated greatly. He smiled widely and looked at the label. "Wow, I gotta find whatever this brand is and get some more of it. This is the best thing I've ever tasted!"
Heh, what's the secret, they make it with love or something?
Suddenly the double collected his stuff and got up to leave, headphones still firmly planted within his ears. He looked down to check his phone. Around 10:50, a little later than when he'd normally leave here, but it was close enough. He decided to sit there for a few more minutes and eat the rest of his food. But he really didn't feel the need to, he was full enough at this point, no need to stuff himself. This stuff tastes...empty? Could he call it that?
He felt enough time had past that he could make his leave. As he put his tray next to the others so they could be cleaned, he glanced back to the room. Just to be sure. That's when his eyes caught with Jane, who was looking at him with a smile. She gave him a small parting wave. He copied the gesture and hastily made his way out the doors.
That smell...that taste, he could still feel the teensy tiny tingles of them lingering as he followed down the sidewalks once more. Man, what'd they put in that coffee? He felt great! He could even say he was as healthy as a horse, but he'd learned his lesson when it came to using equine analogies. At least this stuff helped with his disguise, he could keep it up without issue now. He examined the state of its condition, twirling some of the hair inbetween his fingers as he watched the strands bend and sway. He could always detect their falsehoods, no matter how minute they were. These nervous little nitpicks never fully escaped his mind, how could they? Everything around him was now up for question.
What if he'd always been like this? The real him being that overgrown insect? He did take to this whole disguising thing very quick, too quick for his own comfort. Who’s to say he wasn’t doing that every night when he fell asleep? Go to sleep, become a horse. Wake up, become a human. Funny, saying it like that made it appear as routine as anything else in his life. Did his parents know their son was essentially nothing more than a brain stem sloshing around inside a shapeless blob of matter? What if they didn’t...what if they did? What if...what if...WHAT IF-
WHAM!
This mental distraction cost him greatly, as he’d found himself slammed against a large, human-like surface and falling to his back. As he rose from the ground, he regained his senses to see he’d hit...oh no.
“Ouch...uh, hello...” The entity said, removing one of the earbuds as they turned around. “You alright down there? That looked like it hurt...least it felt like it.” They extended a hand out to him, swinging down like a scythe.
It look everything within him not to immediately scream and cower. No no no no, this isn’t right! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go down! He’d planned to get their attention eventually today, after giving much consideration to a place where he could confront them alone. This was too early! And now he practically assaulted him, not to mention showing off his incompetence in the process. This was it, he was fucked. Game over, man! Game over!
Accepting defeat, he grabbed ahold of his demise’s tendril as it hoisted him to his feet. Looking him down with a cold stare and a slight hint of twisted curiosity. Wait! Maybe he could weasel his way out of this, perhaps it’s using emotions. Quick, be sad, confused!
“O-Oh my gosh, I’m so, so sorry! It didn’t mean to run into you like that! I was looking at my phone, a-and there was this-uh-video! Yeah, a video, and it-“
That seemed to do the trick, as death now held his hands up in a concerned manner. “Woah, woah, chill out! It’s ok, everything’s ok. Accidents happen...” He responded in a calm voice. “I know how it is...Mondays...always so crazy in the morning.”
Di..Did he just-
“Uh...yeah, you said it, pal! Took the words right...out of...my mouth.” His scrunched his face nervously. Squeezing sympathy.
“Say, didn’t I see you back in the dining hall? Could’ve sworn you were talking to one of those girls on the sports teams...”
Yes, use their poor imitation of his poor social skills against them! “...Yes, that was me...” Take it even farther, test the water. “I was asking her about the school. I...I just transferred here a few days ago.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I just got here from...Alaska. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the greater body of the states.”
“Huh, I’ve woulda guessed you were a foreign exchange student, given your accent.”
“I have a lot of family out of Canada.”
“Right, right. Forgot they’re made of a bunch of cultures and stuff up there.” A rushed and poorly researched response, on par with something he’d say. He was buying it, now if he could just not ask his name-
“What’s your name?”
-Damn. Well, might as well keep stories aligned, he couldn’t give a new alias for every single person. “My names...Chrissy.” Though that didn’t mean he felt any better saying it.
“Chrissy, huh?” He rubbed his chin, the expression on his face being a mixture of sudden realization and humorous surprise. “Well that outta be easy to remember.”
Gee, I wonder- “Why’s that?”
“Heh, because my name’s Chris.” He seemed to be enjoying himself throughout this conversation. His posture was laid back and his eyes had a non-urgent focus. “Well, uh, if you’re ever needing a hand getting around campus or something, I suppose I could help out. Even though I’m a freshman, this place’s pretty easy to navigate after a while.”
Lay the trap. “That would be very helpful. Is there any way we could do it today? I have one class this morning, but I’m completely free afterwards.”
He eyes opened wider. “Oh...yeah, s-sure. I don’t have anything to do today, so I should be good for that.”
Bring the bait, a little closer...”Well, how about we start with the dorms then? Which one are you staying in?”
“The Allison dorms, the older looking building over there by the trees. It ain’t five star luxury, but hey, what can you do?” He shrugged.
A little closer... “Oh, how about I meet you there, near the building? That way we’ll both be on the same page when starting off.”
“Good idea, why don’t you just come up to my room then? I’m saying in 3-16, it’s got one of those sweet window views. Just knock on the door and I should be there...most of the time.” He gave him a nice smile. “What’d you think, sound good?”
“Oh, that sounds...perfect.”