“Why am I here?” Warden whined faintly.
“Emotional support!” Kuno hissed, nudging him firmly with an oustretched wing.
Warden grumbled, and then straightened up further, trying his best to not look like a pegasus going through extreme withdrawal symptoms. But his red eyes and clammy appearance did little to dissuade the stares he got from the guards they passed on the way through the halls of the Royal Palace.
Kuno and Warden were flanked by ‘praetorians’, Kuno’s most trusted guards, dressed in blue-and-purple changeling armor that bulked up their normal appearance. They didn’t carry weapons, but the four of them cut very imposing figures, especially as the guards couldn’t truly stare them down since the changelings had no pupils and thus the guard had no way to know which way the changelings were actually looking.
Celestia occupied the centre of the raised dias in her golden throne, with by Luna, and Cadence in their thrones to either side. All three were waiting expectantkly for their changeling audience.
“You’re limping,” Kuno said quietly.
Warden blinked, and then consciously adjusted his walking, having to physically focus to keep it steady. “Sorry, habit,” he said sheepishly.
Kuno and Warden passed through the big double doors, and the praetorians split off, moving to stand at attention beside the doors, while the big doors were closed behind Kuno and Warden, leaving them alone with the princesses.
“Approach,” Celestia said calmly.
Kuno approached, and Warden flagged behind and to the side of her, while Kuno marched right up to the foot of the dias and stared up at the three princesses intently.
“Speak.”
“I do not know how closely you have been following the investigation into the murder of… of my friend, Green Hoof.”
“We have been following it quite closely,” Celestia stated.
“Then you have… read the autopsy notes. And the most likely weapon used to cause the injuries?” Kuno asked carefully.
Luna shifted uncomfortably.
“We have,” Celestia responded candidly.
“Are you doing anything about it?” Kuno asked bluntly, eyes narrowing up at the princesses, completely fearless.
“We are discussing internally,” Celestia said with an imperious wave of her hoof.
“Evidence points to a pony! You can’t just be discussing it!” Kuno scowled, stamping her hoof in anger.
“We are doing all that we c-” Luna started, but Celestia silenced her with a stare.
“This is an incredibly delicate matter,” Celestia said tactfully. “Surely you understand that we cannot lift all suspicion from your kind without due process. You know that it was likely a pony. I know that it was likely a pony. Is that not enough?”
“Our reputation is being harmed!” Kuno hissed, stamping both hooves now for emphasis. “We have been part of the nation for only days now and we have gone from an exciting new prospect to something to be feared and distrusted! And every day you keep silent on this matter is a day that my kind are unjustly seen as murderers by the pony populace! Soon that will be all we are associated with!”
“You are hardly one to mix words when talking about murderers,” Celestia said darkly.
“Have your hooves never seen the stain of blood?” Kuno challenged brazenly.
The corner of Celestia’s lips pulled up into a tiny smile. “Touche, Queen Kuno. Tell me: What is it you would have us do?”
“I…” Kuno trailed off, closing her mouth, her wings giving an agitated buzz. “I… I don’t know!”
“We are doing all in our power,” Luna cut across again, holding up a hoof and then stamping it down for emphasis.
“No, you’re not,” Warden said quietly.
All three princesses’ gazes turned on him, and Warden felt very small all of a sudden.
“Yes?” Celestia asked, staring at him.
Warden took a careful step forward, to stand beside Kuno. “You are not doing all in your power. You are doing all that you can do. It is within your power to imprison everyone in Canterlot until they can provide an alibi. You are not doing that.”
“Your point is to argue semantics?” Celestia asked bluntly.
Warden shook his head. “No, my point is that you are doing things on the down-low. You’re quietly asking questions, investigating. But you stand up there on your gilded thrones and say ‘we’re doing all in our power’ while visibly doing nothing!”
“What would you have us do?” Celestia asked bluntly.
Warden stamped his good hoof. “Share with us what you are doing. Assuage the mind of my Queen that you are not merely doing nothing while her entire species are being called murderers!”
The three princesses exchanged glances, seeming to wordlessly communicate. Kuno turned her head just enough to give Warden a grateful look.
“The request is not unreasonable,” Celestia admitted, and then turned to Luna. “Luna?”
“We have conversed with Shadowwing on this subject. He is engaging his underlings to sniff out any batponies who hold a grudge against changelings,” Luna explained.
“That’s a whole lot of subcontracting,” Kuno pointed out. “Might as well just tell everyone at that point!”
“Shadowwing was told by us, and he has engaged only two of his lieutenants in the hunt for information. Trust us when we say that our batpony spies are very adept at their trade.”
Celestia turned to Cadance, arching an eyebrow.
“I’m doing nothing,” Cadance said with blunt honesty. “I have no spies, and no kingdom other than the Crystal Kingdom. I am no help here.”
“And I,” Celestia started, staring directly at Kuno, “have been quietly offering a reward for any pony who comes forward with information about batponies around Canterlot on the night in question. One witness has been questioned and should their story be verified, they will be rewarded and the batponies who were physically capable of being in Canterlot that night will be all detained. Until the investigation is closed.”
Kuno pursed her lips.
“There is little more we can do without alerting the culprit, or culprits,” Celestia explained carefully.
“You think there are more than one?”
“You do not?” Celestia asked, arching an eyebrow at the changeling. “This smacks of a conspiracy to me.”
“And us,” Luna added.
“And I,” Cadance added.
“I… I think it had to be a group, too,” Kuno admitted, her wings giving an anxious buzz. “After watching how sharply our relationship with ponies dropped off I can’t think it was anything but an attempt to drive a wedge between us all.”
“This was our appraisal of the situation, too,” Celestia said, giving a gentle nod.
“So what…” Kuno trailed off for a long moment, before gathering her courage to continue speaking. “What punishments will be given to the guilty parties?”
Celestia gave Luna and Cadance each a look, before peering intently at Kuno. “Punishment befitting the crime. Lifetime imprisonment. In stone. Or perhaps Tartarus.”
Kuno nodded carefully. “Will they be afforded a choice between your justice system or… changeling justice?”
“Summary execution, you mean?” Celestia asked, arching an eyebrow.
Kuno scowled. “It would be no less than they deserve.”
“Your kind has no justice system,” Celestia stated coldly. “Therefore there will be no ‘changeling justice’.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Kuno asked, her voice rising, taking a step towards the dias, one of her hooves on the bottom step.
Celestia’s eyes narrowed, and she looked down her nose at the changeling queen. “You are part of Equestria, Queen Kuno. You have no singular justice except Equestrian justice. If you do not choose to follow our rules and punishments, then you are no longer part of Equestrian society.”
Kuno took her hoof off the step, and then lowered her head respectfully. “I understand.”
“Tempers may flare, but an eye for an eye is not how our justice system works,” Celestia said carefully.
“I understand,” Kuno repeated, though her tone carried a bitter note.
“Although,” Celestia said, holding up her hoof, evidently choosing her words carefully. “Equestrian law, as you have experienced for yourself, does contain a certain leeway for exigent circumstances.”
Cadance and Luna both stared at Celestia. Luna seemed surprised, but Cadance just had a grim smile on her face. Celestia’s expression was utterly unreadable.
“I understand,” Kuno added, her wings giving a slow buzz.
“I don’t,” Warden muttered, his tone low.
Kuno gave him a sideways smile, and her tail flicked eagerly. “After the meeting-”
“-Have you any other business to discuss?” Celestia cut across their private conversation.
“Not at present, no,” Kuno said, bowing respectfully to the three alicorns.
Celestia held up a hoof. “Given that the nature of our meeting is to be kept ‘on the down-low’,” she glanced at Warden, and Warden shuffled his hooves nervously, “Then it would be prudent for you to yell, loudly, about some imagined slight or perceived failure on our part and storm out.”
Kuno looked like a foal at Hearth’s Warming.
“Are… are you certain?” Kuno asked carefully, unable to hide the excited buzz of her wings.
Cadence made a tutting noise, and Celestia nodded carefully. “We wouldn’t want anyone thinking you were in here conspiring with us.”
“Why… why do we even need to keep this secret?” Kuno asked plaintively. “Why not just announce it?”
“So that the guilty parties can go to ground? Flee? Concoct alibis? Or, heaven above, grow more bold in their machinations than random murder to cause racial tensions? The only reason they’re quiet right now, is, I would wager, is because they think their plan is working.”
Kuno scowled faintly to herself, and quietly nodded her understanding.
“Well BUCK YOU!” Kuno yelled so suddenly and so loudly that Warden jumped a half-inch off the floor, his wings straining as he fought the urge to flap his way to safety.
“Warden, we’re leaving!” Kuno added, huffing and turning on her hooves, storming towards the big double doors. She paused there, and looked back at Warden’s aghast expression, hiding her giggle.
Kuno beckoned for him to follow, and Warden hesitantly cast a stare at the princesses. Luna’s eyes were narrowed, Cadence looked bored, and Celestia was smiling warmly at the retreating changeling.
“U-uh… goodbye and good day!” Warden said in as clipped a tone as he could, turning on his hooves and storming after his wife, deliberately slapping his hooves on the floor to make them clop as loudly as possible.
Kuno pivoted in front of the door and kicked them so hard with her hindlegs that they burst open, sending a shower of splinters out into the hallway, and sending a royal guard and a changeling guard tumbling away from where they had their ears pushed against the door.
“Still!” Kuno snarled as she prowled down the hallway. “Still confining us to the estate!”
Warden made soothing noises at his wife, and his eyes widened as Kuno suddenly pivoted on her hooves, rose up on her back legs, and then made an incredibly rude gesture at the distant princesses with her forehooves.
Warden and the royal guard stared, mouths agape, while the praetorian guard returned to formation.
“Warden, man… your wife… not cool…” one of the guards said carefully.
“She’s… she’s angry!” Warden explained hurriedly, before galloping after the retreating form of the changeling and her guard.
“Oh my goddess!” Kuno dissolved into giggles, sidestepping behind a hedge just outside the castle grounds. She bounced in a neat circle, performing a full rotation before coming to rest staring straight at Warden, grinning from ear to ear. “That was so good. And that is why I brought you!”
“I’m confused,” Warden admitted immediately.
“The thing! You know ponies. I don’t know ponies,” Kuno said, moving in close and wrapping her hooves around him, nuzzling her nose against his own affectionately.
“I still don’t quite… understand,” Warden responded, pushing his muzzle against her own carefully.
“The princesses! They just stood up there saying ‘we’re doing everything we can’ and it made me so angry and I didn’t even understand why until you explained that it was because they didn’t tell me what they were actually doing! Gosh, if I was in there alone then that storming out wouldn’t have been an act at all.”
“Oh, I see,” Warden said with a smile, wrapping his hooves around her neck carefully, having to pivot his upper body upwards quite a ways to do so. “After spending so much time with you I kinda understand what you get and what you don’t. You’re very literal with some things. I’m like your translator!”
“No, you’re my husband, and my closest... Confidant?” Kuno paused, trying to find the right word. “My closest advisor!”
“Advisor?” Warden asked blankly.
“Changelings are a race now, Warden! We’re part of Equestria! And I’m basically… you’re an ambassador, really!” Kuno said with an earnest nod.
Warden blinked. “I’m not qualified for that, like at all.”
“You’re the most qualified pony for that in all of the world!” Kuno retorted, booping his nose with a hoof. “Nopony has spent as much time with changelings as you have.”
“I mean… yes, okay, but aren’t ambassadors supposed to be all… professional? I’m just… I’m good at plants,” Warden pointed out blankly.
“Good at changing plants and good at planting change-”
Warden covered Kuno’s mouth with a hoof, his expression aghast. “I let you hit that one time because I felt alive again for the first time in months and you’re running around talking like a frisky teenager!”
“I am a frisky teenager!” Kuno said around his hoof, before chewing over it harmlessly with her big fangs. “And I’m giddy! Celestia basically said we can murder whoever murdered Green Hoof!”
“You pick very… disparate things to be giddy about.”
“Are you not pleased by that?” Kuno pressed, staring at him, releasing his hoof from her mouth and rising to her full height, her eyes flashing grimly. “I’m very much looking forward to adding a sixth murder to my resume.”
“Sometimes I forget how scary you can be,” Warden observed, tilting his head slightly to the left. “And how badly you understand how a resume works.”
Kuno snorted. “I was going to murder whoever killed Green Hoof. But getting Celestia’s tacit approval for it is... “ Kuno quivered from her nose to the tip of her buzzing wings. “Is this what righteous fury feels like?”
“I don’t know, but-” Warden started.
Kuno’s eyes narrowed, and Warden swore he saw flames flickering in them. “Do not even attempt to say some bullshit like ‘not all things can be solved with murder’.”
“I wasn’t going to say that!” Warden said defensively, and then pressed closer to her again, resting his cheek against her slender neck. “If we find them, I’ll help hold the damned knife.”
“Good,” Kuno hissed happily, resting her chin heavily atop his head. “But Warden, the most important thing you can’t forget about today…”
Warden arched an eyebrow.
Kuno bounced in place and giggled. “I got to flip off the princesses! All three of them! In front of everyone!”