//------------------------------// // Q and the Harlequin // Story: Worlds Apart: The Chosen of the Prognosticus // by GMBlackjack //------------------------------// A tumbleweed hit Twilight in the face. “Wh—” “Yeeee-haw!” an annoyingly familiar voice shouted from atop her back. It was the same wry man who had appeared in the meeting! Snorting in disgust, Twilight bucked forward and tossed him off. She saw him fall face-first into the dirt, but then he was on her back again, this time with a saddle tightened just slightly too much around her midsection. She flapped her wings, kicking up a cloud of dust. “You! You’re one of those… Q!” “Brilliant deduction Sparklebutt,” he said, somehow managing to lounge on her back despite her erratic motions. “I am Q.” “That’s right, all of your species have the same name. I read about that.” “What else did you read about? Did you read Picard’s personal rant about my immaturity?” He chuckled. “Oh, I do hope it was a delightful read, surely worth every second of his bald neurosis.” Twilight snorted, deciding the best thing to do right now was ignore him and check her surroundings. She was standing on a street in the middle of a desert town with an inordinate number of tumbleweeds strolling by. No one aside from her and Q was in sight, yet the town didn’t look abandoned—rather, it looked brand new, like every building had been built the day before. Or, most likely, the second before. All he had to do was snap his fingers. “So… what’s the point of all this?” Twilight asked. A scroll appeared in front of her face with a big red dot labeled “THE POINT” in bold lettering. “Gee, thanks.” Twilight grabbed it in her telekinesis and ignited it with her magic. Stamping out the embers on the ground, she turned to glare at the Q on her back. Q folded his hands under his chin and tilted his head. “You really don’t know how to have fun do you?” “On the contrary, I know how to have fun when the fun isn’t being had at my expense.” “Is that true? Well then, Sprinkle the Wonder Horse, what kind of fun would you like to have?” “The kind where me and my friend play a game of riddles with you,” Twilight smirked. “You know you want to.” Q chuckled ominously, floating into the air and dissipating into nothing. His voice remained. “Oh, poor Twinkie, didn’t anyone tell you nothing ever happens the same way twice?” Twilight pointed an accusatory wing at the air. “So you do know about Discord!” “I know lots of things,” Q said. The wild west town fell over, all the previously fully real buildings turning to cardboard cutouts in an instant. “It is an easy matter to poke my fingers in your mind and pull out whatever I want—but that’d be boring.” “And tormenting me with surreal imagery isn’t?” “It’s absolutely delightful!” Q laughed. The desert was replaced with a tundra that felt even hotter than the desert to Twilight’s hooves. Twilight took a deep breath and sat down, directly in the “cold.” She closed her eyes and began a slow breathing exercise. Through her eyelids, she sensed a flash of light—likely Q appearing in front of her, given the sudden proximity of his next comment. “Refusing to play already?” he asked. Twilight continued her breathing exercises. If she could fixate on them, she could avoid giving him the satisfaction he wanted so badly. She c— Something exploded under her. In shock, she opened her eyes wide, only to find herself still in the tundra with Q in front of her, no explosion in sight. “...You don’t play fair.” “You weren't playing at all,” he said with a mock pouty look. Twilight ruffled her wings. “What do you want, Q?” “And the second one after Picard to ask it, of course.” Q turned around, twirling a hand in the air. “You know, the others are being more cooperative. I believe Toph is actually enjoying herself. More of you could be like that.” “What are you doing to them?” Q tapped her on the snout. “Spritzy, really, you’re smart enough to know the answer to that question.” Twilight ground her teeth. “The same thing. Right.” “I suppose there’s no point in keeping you separate…” Q snapped his fingers. Suddenly, Twilight was sitting in a theatre, staring at a stage with a red curtain drawn across it. Sitting in seats near here were Toph, Cosmo, Data, and Picard, while Tippi fluttered near Twilight’s head. “W-where are all the others?” Cosmo stammered. “They weren’t invited!” Q declared, pulling the curtain back to reveal four of himself all dressed in magician outfits. “They’re probably screaming their lungs out, demanding I return you to the briefing room.” “Let me check,” the second Q said, holding a hand to his ear. “Yes, that’s exactly what they’re doing!” The third snapped his fingers. “Except Eggman. He finds the whole situation amusing.” The second let out a laugh. “He’s the only one with the right mindset in the whole group!” “I think I like him.” This was the fourth. “Q!” Picard shouted, standing to his full height. “Stop all this self-indulgent nonsense! What is it you want?” All four Qs put their hands on their hips and said “Tut tut, Jean-Luc, shouldn’t you know better by now? I never get directly to the point.” “He is correct,” Data reminded him. “In most of our previous encounters he has always danced around the issue for the sake of his own amusement.” “How cruel…” Cosmo whimpered. “How awesome!” Toph shouted. “Dude, how can you guys not love this? Q, I think they’re all crazy and stuck up. You’re alright.” “Thank you, my earthen prodigy,” Q said, twisting into a singular magician body. “But of course the rest of you are finding this entertainably aggravating.” “I am an android,” Data said. “I do not fee—” Q let out a sigh. “This is why I usually leave you behind. So dull. But, a prophecy is a prophecy is a prophecy.” “You put credence in a prophecy?” Picard asked, shocked. “What I do and don’t put my credence in is none of your business, Captain.” “Wait…” Twilight furrowed her brow. “Does that mean Data’s the next hero?” “He’s not a master of any sort of beast,” Toph muttered. “I do have a cat named Spot,” Data offered. Toph facepalmed. “There is the passage ‘analytical as a machine but seeking of more,’ if you’ll recall,” Tippi said. “He fits the bill rather perfectly…” Data cocked his head, nodding. “It does seem adequate. It appears as though I am meant to join them on their journey.” Picard locked his hands behind his back. “Data, while I have no objections with you rendering your assistance in their quest, perhaps now is not the best time to be considering a prophecy.” “Oh, how the intellectual denies all that is beyond,” Q chuckled, appearing around Picard as several floating heads. “You can’t bear the thought that prophecies are real can you?” “In other worlds with other rules they might be!” Picard shouted. “I am not one to make that judgment!” “He says, making an inward judgment known only to him.” Q appeared back on the stage. “Tsk tsk, so ‘mature’, and yet, so young.” “Stop this nonsense,” Picard said, holding out a hand. “There are more pressing matters that you yourself should be concerned with! Is the Q Continuum not part of reality?” Q’s smile vanished. “You presume much with that statement.” “But I’m right. You betray yourself, Q. You are in just as much danger from this Void as we are.” “If that were true, I would not be wasting my time with you.” A soft smile crawled up Picard’s face. “Oh, but you would. See, your idea of a dialogue is one of your games.” “Ah yes, one of my games… so let’s play a game!” Twilight was suddenly standing behind a game show podium. Data, Tippi, Cosmo, and Toph were behind podiums next to her. Several bright lights shone down upon Picard, trapped in a set of old-timey stocks, the remains of dried tomatoes and other assorted fruits arrayed at the wooden implement’s base. “Q!” Picard shouted. Q appeared on a previously-invisible throne behind Picard. “The rules of the game are simple! The Heroes of the Light Prognosticus will prove their mettle or the luxurious captain will get a face full of fruit. Let’s begin, shall we?” Cosmo frowned. “This isn’t going to be a fair game, is it?” “What’s the fun in fairness?” Q asked with a shrug. Toph grinned. “Seriously, why don’t you guys find this hilarious?” “Toph, no losing the game on purpose,” Twilight said. “...Fiiiiine.” “Now, to win, all you have to do is change the gravitational constant of the universe!” Q said, smirk widening. “I’m sure you can manage that.” “We cannot,” Data said. “Then fruit for the captain…” Q let out an exaggerated, loud sigh. “Wait!” Tippi shouted—a rare enough occurrence that it startled Twilight. “Please, Q, I see you have power… I beg of you, use it to collect the Pure Hearts and put an end to this nightmare! You could snap your fingers and… take us to the planet we need. Give us leagues of power. Or… do it all yourself…?” Q was no longer smiling. “Please, we’ll do anything. We’ll be your playthings forever once the Void is stopped. We’ll… do anything to earn your favor.” “How desperate,” Q said, though without his usual hint of amusement. “How moving…” “Please…” Tippi begged. Q folded his hands together in front of his face, silent. “Q…?” “Ah ha ha ha ha ha! The poor fool can’t help you for all his power—like a nuclear drill trying to staple a sheet of paper!” With a burst of rippling spacetime that wasn’t the power of the Void, Dimentio appeared in the midst of them all, his mask filling Twilight with a sense of immense dread. “Q has, in many ways, less power than you!” “Get out of here!” Q shouted, snapping his fingers. Dimentio was engulfed in a flash of light, but when the glare cleared, he remained. Picard stared at Dimentio in shock. “How…?” “That’s Dimentio,” Twilight said, eyes narrow. “One of Bleck’s.” “And no need to introduce yourselves, I already know who all of you are!” Dimentio bowed. “Especially you, Q. The upstart, the comedian, the joker. I quite admire your work.” “I have no time for this,” Q muttered. “But you still have as much time as you did just a moment ago when you were tormenting these poor fools for the sake of the show!” Dimentio spread his hands wide, summoning a multicolored spark in the air. “If only you could do more than attempt to persuade yourself that nothing was wrong while your house burns down around you. Because you can feel it. The reality your very body rests in is being eaten alive…” “Stop…” Q warned. “The Continuum—” “The Continuum won’t and can’t do anything! I can reveal the weakness of the Q without any fear!” He raised his hands, turning to Picard. “It’s simple, really. The powers of the Q… only work in your universe! They’re useless most everywhere else! And since I exist in a bubble of reality imported from a subdimension of my own creation, he cannot touch me! I am the slippery jellybean at the bottom of the bag, the squid in the tub of butter!” He posed dramatically. “I am… Dimentio!” Twilight shot a laser at Dimentio, burning him in the back. He fell forward, startled. “You might be immune to Q’s magic… but I’ve got magic of my own!” Twilight lifted her head, proud. “Well well well…” Dimentio floated back into the air. “You want a fight, Princess? As you wish!” He snapped his fingers… ...and only Picard and Q remained in Q’s little game showroom. With a sigh, Q removed Picard from the stocks. “Where has he taken them?” Picard asked. “Oh, nowhere special, probably that subdimension of his own creation or something. I can’t see them, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Picard’s hard, contemptuous look softened as he continued to examine Q. “...You really are trapped in this knot.” “Behold, a god brought low once again. This appears to be a pattern with me, I find it highly disturbing.” Picard’s frown deepened. “Can we do anything for them?” “Pray that they can defeat him in combat?” Q shrugged. “The jumping idiot is a trickster, he doesn’t have real power.” “Then return me to my ship.” “Not much you’ll be able to do without them, but… oh, all my enjoyment’s been ruined anyway. Off you go.” With a wave, he sent Picard back to the Enterprise. Q remained, alone on his throne, brooding. “Complacent pricks,” Q muttered, seemingly to no one at all. Then he collapsed the false reality he had created for his games. ~~~ Twilight, Data, Cosmo, Toph, and Tippi found themselves in a box exactly ten meters on each side, made of smooth green material with mathematical waves burned into the sides. Dimentio hung in the middle of the cube, bursting with gleeful laughter. “Welcome to Dimension D! A ‘world’ of my own creation where my power is precisely two-hundred and fifty-six times stronger! None of you stand a chance!” Twilight flared her wings, Data drew his phaser, and Toph took a battle stance. Cosmo and Tippi hung back. Dimentio laughed. “An admirable showing! But, in the end, naught more than grains of sand on a beach about to be glassed from orbit.” He threw his hands back, laughing even harder. “And so I strike, like an unseen dodgeball in an echoing gymnasium!”