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// Chapter 53: Introductions After Zombie Pizza 
// Story: Pandemic: Starting Over 
// by Halira 
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Zombie Carl's Pizza was certainly getting plenty of business from me. I wondered if they appreciated it or if it was a huge hassle for them to make such large orders. I know the delivery person had to be relishing the tips since I was tipping at thirty percent of the order bill. I wasn't paying, and the money was nothing to Wild Growth. She was the majority shareholder in one of the fastest-growing and most successful companies of the last decade, making her the current third youngest self-made billionaire. PonyCo still slapped her face on the packaging of every one of their products, and her becoming a national hero had only made her brand all the more popular.

Thinking of rich ponies—I wondered how much Number was worth. She had been wealthy before becoming a pony and had been Wild's mentor, advisor, aid, and closest friend when it came to business and finance. She was always guarded about discussing her wealth, but Number had to be swimming in it. Yet Number still acted as an employee to her best friend, even if she had no reason to work for anyone. Such was Number's loyalty and commitment to Wild. What inspired such devotion? Wild was a good pony, true, but she was not the only good pony. Number was out and about doing odd jobs for Wild right now, and I found myself missing her.

Perhaps all this could be put into one of those friendship reports that I needed to write. 

At the moment, there wasn't much I needed to be doing. Everyone was eating pizza, but the Youngs had still largely segregated themselves off from the ponies. 

They weren't even talking to Jess at the moment, since Jess was helping make sure the foals were eating the pizzas without meat—ironic, considering Sinker and Shǔguāng were only technically a year younger than her. Still, she was functionally much more mature than them despite her actual age. I noticed that she had grabbed a single slice of pepperoni pizza among her other selections, but had removed most of the pepperoni except one partial one. Perhaps she had a certain tolerance level for meat and was trying to build it up? I was unsure about how human or pony her digestive tract was. The girl was clear that she viewed herself as fully human, as was typical of most who underwent rehumanization—and just like newly transformed ponies tried to assert their ponydom. It was just part of the process of rewriting the sense of self to match new species. Despite that, she looked more like a partial than a full human. She could be trying to eat what meat she was able in order to reinforce her humanity. 

Hmm… I wondered what Bursa's sense of self was? I would need to consult Wild about that. It probably wasn't necessary for what I needed to accomplish, but it was a missing puzzle piece that could help me view the complete picture. All information is valuable; you just have to know how to use it. 

It was time to continue to engage. Starlight had gone off to fetch their things and set up their rooms. I had tried to encourage them to have someone go with her, but they were still more afraid and suspicious of her than any other pony in the house. I had yet to even mention Trixie was not from Earth either, lest they get jumpier. I did have an Equestrian in mind who might be someone they would trust more. Tempest was coming with Rosetta and the foals—including Robby, and Tempest had recently been transformed permanently into a human, the only person to date who had been born a pony to do so. An alien who chose to join the human race of her own free will might be just who I needed to break the barrier of them trusting Equestrians. 

It wasn't lost on me that two short years ago, I would have been doing everything I could to sow distrust and hate towards Equestrians. That same me from two years ago was an arch-Shimmerist, but now I was public enemy number one to the Shimmerists and the unwilling symbol of a new movement that I wanted no role in. What would me from two years ago say if she saw me today? Nothing nice, that was for sure. The feeling was mutual. It was my lot in life to always hate my past, no matter what form my present took. Perhaps it was also my lot in life to always hate my future self as well. If I knew now who I would be ten years from now, would I be disgusted by what I saw? It was a depressing thought. 

"You look lost in thought."

I turned and saw Trixie coming up to me. She had a little bit of sauerkraut on her mouth that she quickly licked up and had for the moment set aside her trademark hat and cap. 

"I am. I feel rather unfocused, with my thoughts drifting everywhere," I confessed. "Might be why I am messing up so much lately."

She smiled at me. "I wanted to let you know, everypony messes up sometimes. I heard all the angry things everypony said earlier, and I watched you get upset and run away. They were just worried about you, and I was too. These ponies care a lot about you."

I noted she wasn't talking in the third person and took that as a sign she was trying to stress her sincerity. "I was thinking about all the mistakes I've made in my life and wondering if I'll ever be someone I can be proud of. I can't imagine myself at any past time liking who I am now, nor like any of the people I have been."

Trixie frowned. "Does it matter if you from the past would like you today? What matters is what you feel about yourself today, and if there is something you don't like, then change it."

"I'm not sure what I can like about myself or who I want to be," I confessed. 

Trixie pointed at the foals. "They seem to like you."

"I don't know why," I muttered. 

Trixie lowered her hoof and came and sat beside me. "I do. You radiate motherhood to them."

"I'm not their mother," I said quickly, maybe harsher than I intended. 

"I didn't say you were. What I said was you radiate motherhood," Trixie replied. 

I frowned in confusion. "I don't understand. You'll need to explain that better."

Trixie huffed. "I hate admitting this, but I'm not the smartest pony, but I'll try—don't go telling anypony I admitted that."

"My lips are sealed. Your secret is safe with me." I resisted rolling my eyes.

Trixie nodded. "Good. Now, I'm great at entertaining foals. They love my tricks and performances—because nopony can match a performance by the Great and Powerful Trixie. However, when they come to you, they see somepony who cares about them and will do anything to protect them. I might want to protect them and care about them too, but it just radiates off everything you do around them. You don't have to be the nicest pony or the most fun pony; you are the pony that they look at and feel will do whatever it takes to provide for them and soothe their hurts. They told me about how you had sat and talked with them and comforted them when they needed it."

"It's my responsibility to do that," I replied. "I'm doing what's required."

"It isn't just because you're required to. You really care, and they can tell. I can tell too," Trixie said in a confident voice. "These foals need someone they know they can trust, somepony that cares, somepony who will love them like they were their own."

I shook my head and looked away. "They'll learn not to put that faith in me. They're just going through a difficult time and trying to find someone to latch onto. I will mess up with them, sooner or later."

Trixie sat quietly for a moment before she spoke again with her ears hanging limp. "I've messed up a lot in my life. I have every reason to hate myself for all the mistakes and failures. I style myself as great and powerful, but I'm just a sad joke most of the time, and most ponies know it. I have a great friend who always picks me up and helps me get back on track when I mess up, and she's not perfect either. She reminds me that I have plenty to be proud of and don't have to be perfect. If somepony cares about you, then you aren't worthless."

She took a deep breath. "I think you're scared. You're afraid that you'll mess up, and they'll turn on you. I know how that feels, but they won't do that. They don't need perfection; they need someone to be there to love them."

"Lántiān doesn't," I muttered bitterly. 

Trixie muttered something incoherent in Equestrian that sounded like a curse by the tone. "That one has issues; you can tell because she doesn't know how to appreciate a good show!" 

"I can hear you, Equestrian clownmare!" Lántiān shouted out from across the room.

Great, now the Youngs knew Trixie was an Equestrian. Thank you for continuing to make things difficult for me, Lántiān.

Trixie lowered her voice and ignored Lántiān. "Anyway, not everypony is going to care about you like you do them, but you still care about her; otherwise, you wouldn't keep trying so hard with her. Keep caring about her, even if she never returns the feeling. Let the colts love you, and return that love. You need it, and they need it."

"I don't know. It feels too soon for that. I have only been with them a few days," I replied as I turned back to look at the colts.

"Love doesn’t work like that. It doesn't require a certain amount of time to pass or have a set of rules like your fancy-schmancy spells. It just happens when it happens," Trixie said in frustration. "Maybe you can give it time still, but don't dismiss it. You need to stop thinking about how worthless you are and admit you deserve love and friendship. I don't know how many friendship speeches from Twilight Sparkle I have had to listen to—they get really boring, so I tend to fall asleep...don't tell her that—but I can say that I've learned everypony deserves to have friends and be loved. That's what makes us better and gives value to our lives. I'm not as smart as you, or Starlight, or Sunburst, or Bob, or Twilight Sparkle, or a lot of other smart ponies, but I know what I know, and I know that."

I sat and considered what she said. "Maybe you have a point."

"Of course I do; Trixie can learn friendship lessons too," Trixie said haughty, returning to the third person, then paused and blinked. "Wait…this isn't the point about Trixie not being as smart as you, is it?"

I wanted to laugh, but merely shook my head. "No, it isn't."

Trixie stuck her nose up proudly. "Good, because that isn't what Trixie wants to be remembered from this talk."

"You might not think you're the smartest pony, but you can be smarter than me sometimes. Thank you, Trixie," I said gratefully. "You and I don't sit down and talk as much as we should, but you're still a good friend and an excellent advocate for other’s needs."

"The greatest and most considerate friend!" Trixie declared with a flourish before settling down and giving me a soft smile. "But I'm glad I could help. I wish I could be a great mage like you or Starlight, but I don't have the patience to put that kind of study in. I'm happy being just smart enough to figure out how to improve my act and to give my friends some help. I know I'm not perfect, but I don't need to be because I have friends to help me out. You don't need to be perfect either, because you have all of us."

I hugged my often underappreciated friend. "Thank you again for the great and powerful pep talk."

When we broke our hug, Trixie gave me a big grin. "Now, Trixie must return to her high-class food before someone steals it. Talk to you later, Sunset."

I didn't think anyone would be after that particular pizza, but I didn't correct her as she walked off. I had work to return to. 

I turned and faced the Youngs, who were eying Trixie's retreating form suspiciously. I needed to thank Lántiān for making them suspicious of another alien, but that was a talk for later. Honestly, she might not have even realized that it could be an issue. 

"Enjoying your pizza?" I asked the group of humans. 

"I never had food like this!" Grace exclaimed happily. 

"I'd forgotten what pizza tastes like," Alice said with a sound of contentment. 

"It's nice to have something different for a change," Lauren replied. 

"So weird, but good," Bobby replied. 

The two men didn't verbally reply, only nodded. However, I could see Mike had devoured an entire pizza on his own and started on a second. That was promising. 

I decided to address the new elephant in the room. "I'm sure you heard Lántiān call Trixie an Equestrian; that is true. There aren't any further Equestrians here. Everyone else is from Earth aside from Starlight and Trixie. Trixie is not any powerhouse like Starlight, and I know more magic than her. She's a stage performer, an entertainer. I think it might be time for introductions, so you can put names to the people you're sharing a house with and learn a little about each."

I turned and faced everyone on the other side of the room. "Everyone over there, I would appreciate it if you could all line up next to each other so I can introduce you, one at a time. If you want to say anything to the Youngs, you're welcome to, but keep it brief—under a minute because we have a lot of introductions to do, and please wait until your turn to be introduced. Also, don't talk during someone else's turn."

There was some grumbling, but not much, as well as some excitement, as everyone got in line. Lántiān seemed the most unhappy and kept her daughter under her legs. That was fine, as I didn't expect Qīng Yǔ to introduce herself. I wasn't even sure she was capable of saying her name. Mèng's brothers had to speak to him in Mandarin to tell him where to stand, and he took some time to get into position between Shǔguāng and Paul. Sinker took up a place between our dad and Lántiān, and had been another of my grumblers—although, unlike Lántiān, he had grumbled about being interrupted in his meal, rather than the idea of talking to the Youngs. 

After about two minutes of struggling to get into a line—seriously, kindergarteners can do this. Why was this so much work?— The ponies and my other family were in place. The Youngs had gathered up to watch without being told. The children looked expectant and eager, the adults and Alice more reserved. 

"Let's introduce the Youngs first," I said and began pointing at each in turn. "John is the father. Lauren is the mother. The other young man here is Mike, the oldest son. Alice is the teenaged girl there. The younger girl is Grace, and finally, that's Bobby. Does anyone among the Youngs have anything they want to say?"

"You're a bunch of pretty ponies!" Grace proclaimed. Bless the children; they were truly the salt of the Earth. 

Unfortunately, none of the other Youngs had anything to say. The men were stone-faced, and the rest just seemed nervous. 

"Alright… well, maybe you will feel like talking later," I said, trying not to sound discouraged. 

I pointed instead to the first pony in line. "That right there is Malcomb Tibbs. He's the pony who you are probably most familiar with since you've gone out of your way to avoid him for years. Malcolm used to work at a rehumanization clinic before he started working as a caretaker for this place. That's a clinic where ponies and people in partially transformed states were transformed back into humans. So, I think it is fairly safe to say he has no problem with humans. Would you agree, Malcomb?"

He nodded. "Yes. I enjoy the company of humans. The only problems with anyone I have are a certain batch of crackpot ponies that tried to crack my pot and destroyed my eye. I'm a little annoyed you managed to hide under my nose for years, but that's more a personal pride thing."

"Thank you, Malcomb," I said, then pointed to Silvia. "This is Silvia… I can't remember your last name."

"Gartenberg," she replied. "It's German and Jewish."

"You're Jewish?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, I still go to the synagogue when I can. My great-grandfather was liberated from one of the Nazi death camps."

"Huh," I replied. Well, that information may humanize her to the Youngs. "Well, Silvia is Jess's magical therapist. Jess has some problems controlling her magic, and Silvia helps her with that. As a crystal pony, she can absorb magic and convert it into inert and harmless magic. Crystal ponies glow when they do this. Anything else to contribute, Silvia?"

She nodded. "I also worked in a rehumanization clinic for some time. That is where I started to encounter a small number of humans who, after rehumanization, started to display sometimes hard to control magical abilities. I took an interest in humans like this and helping them with their struggles. That's how I earned my mark and decided my fate to remain a pony rather than rehumanize as well. I help ponies too, but human magic is my main passion."

"Thank you, Silvia," I replied, then pointed at my mom. "This is my mother, Dry Soil. She grows flowers to sell. Do you have anything to say, Mom?"

"I'm just here," Mom replied with a small smile. 

I nodded. Then pointed to my dad. "This is my father, Hook Line. He's an electrician. Anything to say, Dad?"

He shook his head. "Same as your mother. Just here to support you."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad. Standing next to him is my baby brother, Sinker."

"I'm not a baby. I'm seven!" Sinker protested. 

"My mistake," I apologized, and frowned as I saw who was next in line. "This is Lántiān, the eldest of the foals I'm fostering, and her daughter, Qīng Yǔ. Do you have anything polite to say, Lántiān?"

She glared at the Youngs. "No, ma'am."

Qīng Yǔ waved at them and giggled. Bless that little filly. I was going to get her some candy for that. 

"The next three, in order, are my other foster foals, Hé Líng, Shǔguāng, and Hǎo Mèng. Do any of you have anything to say?"

"Don't hurt our new Mama!" Shǔguāng declared loud and threatening. His baby brother caught his mood, spread his wings, and made a squeak which may have been intended to be menacing, but came off quite the opposite. Líng just looked nervous. 

I glanced back at the Youngs. "Excuse Shǔguāng's statement and Mèng's attempts to be scary. They have been very worried about me. I'm going to have a long talk with them later." I turned towards the colts. "These people won't try to hurt anyone. It's okay. Everyone is safe."

They didn't seem entirely at ease, but didn't say anything more. I sighed and moved on. "You have met my brother-in-law, Paul Middleton, and his daughter, Jess. I know you have been speaking with Jess some. Did you have anything to say, Paul?"

He raised a hand in greeting. "Hi… this is really awkward. It feels like a workplace meet and greet. I'm waiting for Sunset to discuss our performance and goals for the upcoming week."

I laid an ear back. "Your complaint has been filed with management. Thank you very much."

"No problem, Sunset," Paul replied with a sheepish smile. 

Starlight chose that moment to teleport in. She looked around in confusion. "What's going on?"

"Introductions," I informed her. "Get in line beside Trixie." 

She laid her ears slightly back. "A please would be nice, after all the work I've been doing."

My ears sagged. "I'm sorry. I appreciate everything you've been doing and would never have gotten this far without you. Can you please stand beside Trixie so I can introduce you to the others?"

She nodded. "Sure. Everything has been set up for their rooms, by the way."

"Thank you, Starlight," I replied gratefully. 

She took her place, and I pointed at Trixie. "This is—"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie!" Trixie declared with a flourish. "Entertainer and showmare extraordinaire! The greatest act in all of Equestria and Earth! You will marvel at my marvelous and daring acts of prestidigitation and gape in wonder as I perform magic the likes of which Celestia herself could never dream of!"

I pursed my lips. "Thank you for that...flamboyant introduction, Trixie. Trixie is a lot like an Equestrian version of David Copperfield, if you are familiar with who that is."

"A mere amateur compared to my stupendous acts of amazement!" Trixie declared. 

"And she's so humble too," I added on. I heard snickers; at least one set of them came from behind me with the Youngs, so that was a positive. 

Trixie raised her head proudly. "The most humblest!"

I wondered if she missed my sarcasm or if that was just part of the act. She might have missed it. I decided just to move on. 

"There are a few who aren't here right now and more who are arriving tomorrow, but the last for today is Starlight Glimmer. She’s a close friend to Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, and one of the ponies who came to our world to end the ETS pandemic and apprehend Sunset Shimmer—the pony responsible for ETS."

Starlight raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything past that. It took me a moment to realize what she was giving me that look for; then I realized I had gone and named Sunset Shimmer. That name association might not immediately click with the Youngs, considering how much they were trying to take in at the moment, but it might, and that could lead to some uncomfortable questions they weren't ready for the answers. It was okay though, this way, I could say I wasn't trying to hide that information. They had access to the internet now, and it was only a matter of time until they found out anyway. 

I smiled at the Youngs. "You see. Everyone here is just regular folks… except Starlight."

"And the Great and Powerful Trixie!" Trixie shouted. 

I rolled my eyes. "And Trixie."

"Hey! I'm one of the smartest people on the planet!" Jess protested. 

I groaned. "Okay… and—"

"And you're a mad scientist, old sis!" Sinker declared. 

Líng gasped. "You're a mad scientist, Auntie? Like in the cartoons?"

"I wouldn't call her a scientist. Maybe a mad mage," Jess added in not-so-helpfully. 

"Not helping, Jess!" I growled as I ground my teeth together. 

"Well, you aren't anymore… at least I don't think so," Jess corrected. I wasn't sure that helped. 

I sighed and looked at the older Youngs suspicious stares. "I explained before I have a rather checkered past. Let me reassure you; it is the past, not the present. I am just a simple mare, trying to take care of a few foals and ensure everyone feels safe in this house. If you want to research me, there is plenty of information there about me. If you have specific questions about what you find, you can ask me. I am sure there are plenty of history sites, hate sites, maybe fan sites, dedicated to me."

"So many hate sites and worship sites," Jess said in exasperation. "They either think you're the devil or the messiah."

"Lovely," I muttered. I hadn't bothered to actually look. "Don't read too much into what those sites say. Just focus on facts, not the fiction."

“I’ll bookmark an accurate one,” Jess offered. “Do your own research doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to the internet. I've lived through one of Auntie's blunders, so I know what the facts are and what the fiction is."

"I'd rather not bring that up. I don't want to be reminded of it," Paul said in a strained voice. "I have never been so scared as when we found out that you… I don't want to think about it."

Jess laid her ears back. "If I was the one who was skewered as a filly on a stick and I can forgive, you can forgive too."

"Skewered?!" Silvia gasped in shock. I was a little surprised the therapist didn't know that detail.

"Filly on a stick?!" Sinker shouted.

Lántiān pulled her daughter closer to her. This was going downhill fast. 

"Don't talk about it! It hurts just hearing it," Paul said in a pained voice. "I've forgiven, but I still don't want to hear about it. I don't know how you can be so calm saying things like that."

Jess shrugged. "Maybe it was the rehumanization. It's like it happened to someone else or in a dream. I won't mention anything else about it around you."

"Or anyone else unless they ask in private, and you give full context!" I ordered harshly. "It might be like something that happened in a dream to you, but it is traumatic for your father and me to even hear about it. I don't want to be reminded of it either. It is also disconcerting and lacking context for everyone else."

Her ears sagged. "Sorry, Auntie Sunset. I didn't consider all that. It really doesn't bother me, though."

"I'm glad, but let's drop that subject for now," I said with forced calm. "If anyone has any further questions about that incident, discuss them with Jess in private, out of earshot of the rest of us."

Thank God no one else was here who had been victim to any of my mistakes. I did not want a complete list of my sins put out for all to hear at the moment. Hearing that reminder was bringing all kinds of nasty and painful memories of my own to the surface.

"Stop giving my daughter fearful looks!" Mom yelled. "She isn't that pony anymore! She's a good mare who made some mistakes in the past that she regrets and has repented. She's doing everything she can to be nice and kind and accommodate everypony—excuse me—everyone. She isn't going to hurt anyone. She's a good pony!"

Mike held the cell phone out towards Jess. "Can you… um… go ahead and bookmark that site?"

I felt the strong urge to run away again, but resisted it. "I think I'm just going to sit in the corner and let everyone sort things out from here. I've done what I can for the moment. You've all been introduced, and if you need me, you can come talk to me."

Jess had gone over to Mike and was searching up the site or sites she had in mind, but she paused and looked at me with her ears hung low. "I didn't mean to make everyone afraid of you, Auntie Sunset. I know how bad you feel about what happened and how much it hurt you too."

"I know you didn't, and thank you for your kindness," I replied in a tired voice. "If I leave, it will only be for a few minutes, just to collect myself. That day… it hurts so much to remember." I felt myself almost choke up as a rush of emotion and memories hit me. "Just…just everyone help the Youngs out and leave me be for a while. I know you'll treat the Youngs with respect and compassion because you're all good people, and I'm so blessed to have you all here."

I turned away from everyone before they could see the tears start to fall and retreated into a corner to press my head into it as I let my legs buckle beneath me. No one disturbed me.