As the now junior Twilight Sparkle revealed more and more explosive details of this alternative timeline she hailed from, Nurse Starlight’s expression began growing graver and graver.
On more than one occasion, the agitated older pony had to halt Twilight mid-flow whilst she replenished her black coffee supply. The ancient contraption that distilled said beverages seemed to take an eternity just to fill half a mug, which irritated the already impatient filly still further.
The more pointless distractions there are in this reality, the longer it’ll take me to return to where I belong. Twilight reasoned in her head, frowning as she watched Starlight bash the barely working machine repeatedly just to get an extra drop. Celestia knows what’s going on there in my absence. If some ruthless evildoer went to this much trouble to get me out of the picture, then I dread to think what their plans are for the rest of Equestria…
“I’m bbaacckk!” Starlight chimed somewhat unnecessarily, drink in one forehoof and sucking on the other limb which she’d use to pound the antique dispenser into submission. “Now then, where were we? You were saying something about being a princess?”
“Yes, that’s right… the ‘Princess Of Friendship’! I was selected for the task by Celestia herself, transforming into an alicorn during the process. It’s my job to not only make sure everycreature lives in perfect harmony with each other, but also defend the world whenever someone threatens it. And believe me, more than a few have tried over the years! But then of course I came here, and saw that one of the worst adversaries I’ve ever fought is in charge of the school I founded! The irony would almost be funny, if it wasn’t so desperately tragic…”
“Uh huh, uh huh.” Starlight had been quaffing caffeine like a fish, and was already down to the dregs of her last refill. “A-and if I heard you right, my boss in what you call ‘this fake’ Ponyville tried to kill me in your ‘real’ one?”
“That’s right!” Twilight confirmed, grateful that this Starlight seemed as good a listener as the dear friend she left back home. “Principa… I mean, Queen Chrysalis was offered a chance at redemption by you after her latest failed attempt to take over Equestria, but she threw it back in your face before flying off. She might even be behind this latest plot to sideline me: it’s something I’ll have to look into before I decide on my next move.”
“R-Right. Well, I guess she can be a little hard to deal with sometimes, some would even say ‘unconscionably evil’.” Starlight had finished the last of a dozen coffees she’d consumed in quick succession over the last thirty minutes, but was loath to fetch more less her ailing bladder explode. “But even so: murder me in cold blood? That seems a little OTT, even for her. And this comes from somepony who had to run and duck for cover because I made a simple request for a plant pot…”
“Well, it’s true. And get this… where I’m from, I’m the headmare here. Not that erroneous imposter!” Twilight was doing what she was prone to when she got very cross, and that was break out the advanced vocabulary. “It’s heresy! Treason! How dare I be put in this untenable position! I earned those wings, that crown and the headship of this school! By school, I mean ‘School Of Friendship’, not the intolerable farce which is ‘the ‘College Of Change!”
“Yep. From your point of view, it must be very frustrating.” Starlight had settled down a little, and was now frantically scribbling something on her notepad as if her life depended on it. “So apart from being royalty and the colleg… sorry, school’s main proprietor in this other place, you mentioned something about the staff here being your best friends.”
“Oh, yes. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity. A pony couldn’t ask for five more stalwart companions. W-Well, there was Spike too, but as I already mentioned…”
“...He doesn’t exist in this reality. I got it.” Starlight pointed to the dragon’s first name on her paper, helpfully capitalised with an exclamation mark for added emphasis. “Also erm, what was the other missing pony’s name again? ‘Sandwich’?”
“No, Sandbar!” Twilight growled in annoyance, not just at the miscommunication but also because Starlight’s slip had reminded the filly of her own empty tummy. Maybe skipping breakfast earlier wasn’t such a good idea after all. “The earth pony who’s supposed to be in my new classmates’ friend group had been replaced by me! I tell you… if I wasn’t living this story right now, I’d shelve it permanently for being too far-fetched! And, as arguably the nation’s premiere bookworm, you know that’s a big statement!”
“Hang on. Let me just finish recording all this for posterity…” Starlight struggled to make her writing legible with all the sweat pouring down her brow, staining and blurring the ink in the process. “Most fascinating. Do you know of any other differences that might exist between your ‘world’, and ours?”
“I don’t know. I only just got here. I don’t think it’s really important, anyway. I just want to go home.” An older Twilight might’ve been more intrigued, but the younger model wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. “So, do you think you can help me? I mean, much as I’d love to do something for the inhabitants of this reality, the sad truth is it’s probably just a made-up fantasy. I apologise for breaking it to you like this...”
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Starlight didn’t seem particularly perturbed to discover her entire existence was just an illusion, and stopped scrawling long enough to proffer a sympathetic hoof to Twilight’s shoulder. “What matters is that you feel this is a safe space to fully express yourself, without fear or regret. I can see that you totally believe what you’re saying, and that’s all we need to focus on at this stage.”
“What??” Twilight was slightly taken aback by Starlight’s flowery language, but didn’t have the time to analyse it in any great depth. After all, time was of the essence here. “I think you misheard me. What I was asking was if you could help me get in touch with somecreature powerful enough to help me. I would try to find out what’s going on myself, but with my limited magical ability right now it’s just not an option. Also, in this crazy mixed-up universe, I don’t know who to look for, let alone locate….”
“Say no more, Twilight. I know exactly what you need now, and I swear on my nursing diploma you’ll get the help you require by the end of the day.” Starlight said those words with complete sincerity, but there seemed to be something nagging her. “Before you go though, I have to ask: what’s the Starlight Glimmer in your ‘world’ like? In all the time you spent explaining everything, I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t mention me a lot.”
“O-Oh.” Twilight did this on purpose to spare the curious mare’s feelings, but being as she was being asked directly… “Are you sure you want to know? It’s not exactly pleasant.”
“I’m a big mare, I can take it. Please, enlighten me.”
“Well, okay then. There was the time you manipulated an entire village into giving up their Cutie Marks due to a misguided interpretation of ‘equality’…”
“I see. Do go on.”
“Then, you tried to erase my existence through the ‘wonders’ of time travel. Almost destroying the world in the process, might I add.”
“Wow. With those crimes on my track record, I’m surprised you spoke so cordially when you met me here for the first time.”
“Oh, don’t worry! You got much better later on, reforming yourself to become my personal student and a much-cherished friend! I was the one who gave you the job of counsellor here, too.”
“Hmm. I’m actually more of a nurse, but at least one facet of the two realities is the same. Sort of. Can’t say I care much for the other stuff you told me, though. Especially the ‘world destruction’ part. I mean, I’ve had my off days before, but I’d never even considered doing anything like that. Punching a pillow maybe, but that…”
“S-So, anyway. I better go and see how the rest of ‘the gang’ outside are doing. I won’t tell anycreature about what we discussed, as it would probably just confuse and disturb them needlessly.” Twilight felt that she’d said enough to make her point, and slowly backed away to the door. “Let me know as soon as you speak to your contact, and hopefully we can put an end to this living nightmare once and for all.”
“Don’t fret, Twilight. As soon as I receive a reply, you’ll be the first to know. Believe me.” Despite her firm vow, Starlight’s stony gaze troubled Twilight somewhat as she made her way outside. “You go and have fun with your friends. And remember: a smile a day keeps the depression monster at bay! Close the door on your way out, if you please.”
“I-If you say so, Starlight. I mean, Miss Glimmer.” Twilight politely referred to the older unicorn by her preferred term, before lightly shutting the door behind her. I’ve finally found somepony who’ll listen and promises to get help, so why do I feel so uneasy? Oh well, what’s done is done. I can only wait and see what happens next. Now, where can I get something to eat? I noticed this tiny body needs constant nourishment. Oh, who’d be young again?
Meanwhile, invisible to the naked eye, something stirred just behind her.
……………………………..
A few minutes after Twilight’s departure, Starlight checked to see if the coast was clear in the corridor before shutting her door once again, returning to her desk and glancing at her side.
“So Cozy Glow, what do you think? I’ve seen Twilight worked up before, but this kind of irrational state is a whole new level of cuckoo. Don’t tell anycreature else I use this sort of politically incorrect language privately, but I really fear she may be, for lack of a better term, completely nuts.”
“T-That… that’s not really for me to say. I may be a child myself, but it doesn’t mean I can get in the head of everycreature you see.” A small pinkish pegasus made her way out from under the desk, coughing en route from some of the dust bunnies present there. “You know Miss Glimmer, you really should spring-clean under there once in a while. I can make you a feather duster if you like. It is moulting season, after all…”
“Never mind that right now. I hired you as my assistant because I thought, with your keen eye for detail and similar age range to the pupils, you’d be able to aid me in a crucial diagnostic role. If you can’t even do that, why do I let you secretly sit-in on certain sessions? Or, more to the point, give you meaningful employment at all? There are plenty of others who’d jump at the chance to earn some extra pocket bits.”
“Oh, dearie me! I’m saving up for chess lessons, though. I wanna turn professional one day, but my poor family can’t afford to have me tutored!” Cozy Glow jabbed at her rook Cutie Mark as if emphasising her point.”Surely there’s something I can do, to restore your faith in me?”
“Actually, there is… but only because you’re lucky enough to possess a pair of wings.” Starlight had stopped being disappointed long enough to take stock of her life, and now she knew how to handle certain recent events. “First, drop this parcel off at Trixie Lulamoon’s trailer, please. She’s touring Canterlot today, I believe. Don’t peek inside: the contents are strictly for her eyes only. Or, to put it bluntly, I will know about it if you do, and the consequences for disobeying me will be most severe.”
“Understood!!” A slightly trembling Cozy Glow didn’t know what those ‘consequences’ were, but decided there and then it was best to err on the side of caution. “Anything else?”
“Yes, actually.” Starlight sat back in her three legged chair, clasping her hooves together in an almost brooding pose. “Tell Chancellor Tirek I need to see him. And it has to be now.
“N-Now? But, how will we convince him to come all this way…” Cozy Glow almost flew into a wall, so shocked was she upon hearing that.
“Yes. It’s now-or-never, I’m afraid. And don’t worry… and as soon as he hears what I have to say, he’ll make the time.”