Chasing Rainbows

by Gallifrey

Out of the Frying Pan

Who is next in line to make me feel like shit? Blitz wondered, landing hard in the centre of Ponyville. It was twilight, and Blitz wandered with no sense of direction or purpose. The wise option would be for him to go home and rest, but the prospect of lying awake in his bed, brooding over the day's events, was not an appealing one for the pegasus. He was teetering on the edge of a breakdown as it was.

I need a drink... or five.

He plodded over to the only public house he was aware of in Ponyville: The Red Griffon. It was a small pub, and quite old. Rainbow pulled open the creaking wooden door and entered.
The place was dimly lit and smelled musty; Blitz didn't often come here, preferring the bars Cloudsdale had to offer, but he was in no mood for loud obnoxious music tonight.

"What will it be?" asked a gruff white stallion as he took a seat at the end of the bar, in a dark corner.

"Firewhiskey, on the rocks."

"Coming right up."

Blitz bowed his head until it gently rested on the counter, he sighed deeply.

"Two bits."

"Here," said Blitz, handing him three.

"Gee, thanks!"

"Don't mention it," Blitz deadpanned.

The bartender walked away and Rainbow closed his eyes, the weight of the events that had occurred today kept threatening to overwhelm him. Terrible truths kept rattling around inside him.

He will never love you.
You made Dusk upset.
He wanted you to get out.
AJ hates you.
He's disgusted with who you are.
He'll never talk to you again.
He betrayed you when you needed him.

The yawning chasm in Rainbow's heart harboured all these destructive thoughts, and used them as fuel to make the poor pegasus feel even worse.

He took his drink and downed it in one, crunching the ice in his mouth as he did so. The cold fluid slid down his throat, burning it, and came to rest in his stomach. Instead of feeling cold, it warmed him up nicely.

That's exactly what I needed.

"Barkeep! Another please!"

----------

Five shots later, Blitz was comfortably tipsy; the alcohol had all but suppressed the storm that had been raging inside him.

"I think that's enough for me," he said to the bartender, picking up his last shot of whiskey, "thanks dude."

The bartender nodded and Blitz stood up to leave.

"Hey!" shouted a familiar voice from across the room. Blitz slowly turned around and felt the warmth leave him immediately. Applejack was at a table with two of his friends.

"What do you want?" Blitz snarled.

"Nothin', just wonderin' what someone like you is doing in a place like this."

"Why? Is it a crime for me to be in here?"

"It should be. And what's with the whiskey? Shouldn't you be drinking a pina colada or something?"

"AJ, what are you on about?" asked one of Applejack's friends.

"Ah'm on about this guy being... one of them. By the way, Blitz, this is Goldrush and Dark Hoof."

"Oh he's one o' dem homosexuals, is he?" said Goldrush, face darkening. "Well, we all know what happens if one of their type thinks he can come in here, don't we?"

"Sure do," said Dark Hoof, standing up.

"Er, guys?" said both Applejack and Blitz at once.

"So, thought that just because you have a more manly drink we'd go easy on ya, huh?"

"I'm not even gay!" said Blitz, taking a step backwards.

"He's bisexual," said Applejack rolling his eyes, and taking a swig of his cider, "because that makes it all better."

The sheer indifference in Applejack's voice triggered something inside Blitz. Something had snapped inside him, broken.

There's no point holding back anymore.

"All of this, because I love one of my friends, AJ!" bellowed Blitz, not caring who heard, walking recklessly forward. "Is it worth it? All of this pain over who I am?!"

"If you weren't queer, there wouldn't be no problem," replied Applejack levelly, but standing up. "You're the one who's causing all of this."

"I've never heard such bullshit!" he shouted, astounded how anyone could be so stupid. "I just wanted to make Dusk happy! And he said no, which I suppose is- is fair enough. I came to you for support, and you turned your back on me when I needed you the most. You just spat on me and ground me into the fucking dust!" He was on the brink of tears. Applejack's face looked troubled. "Tell me how any of that is MY FUCKING FAULT?!" His voice cracked, and so did his head, as Goldrush aimed a blow at him.

Blitz stumbled to his side, and fell to the ground. He got up, looking shocked.

"What was that for?"

"What do you think, faggot?"

Goldrush tried to punch him again, but Blitz dodged. Unfortunately he didn't see Dark Hoof, and he got hit hard on the neck.

Blitz snarled in pain.

"You want to do this the hard way? We'll do this the hard way!"

He pounced and landed a punch on Goldrush's nose, then he dived and kicked Dark Hoof in the sides. The bartender was yelling for them to stop, but they didn't take any notice; the brawl continued, each taking and giving out nasty hits. Everyone, that is, except Applejack, who seemed conflicted.

"G-guys, stop," he said as he watched Blitz get hit hard on the muzzle, giving him a nosebleed, and he felt both satisfaction and pity at the same time. He didn't know what to do.

Rainbow Blitz put up a brave fight, but ultimately he was outnumbered two to one. They threw him hard onto the cold stone floor, and he yelped in pain as his head hit it.

"Give it up, girly boy, you're finished."

Blitz looked at them fearfully.

"Stop!" said Applejack again.

"What?" said three confused voices.

"Stop... let him go. I think he's learnt his lesson. I hope he's learnt his lesson."

"But AJ-"

"Stop."

"Urgh, come on Rush, let's get outta here, away from this scum."

Dark Hoof spat on Blitz's face before he left. The blue pegasus simply didn't care anymore, he just lay there, wheezing weakly as Applejack approached, expression neutral.

"Blitz, please tell me you're not still gonna be like this."

Rainbow chuckled feebly.

"You really think this is a choice don't you?"

"It is Blitz, you just can't see th-"

"No! You can't see it," he hissed. "I can't change who I am any more than I can change my coat or my wings. I can only hope you learn that one day."

"I-"

"I'm leaving. I'd had enough when Dusk rejected me, add all this on top- I-I just can't take any more."

He pulled himself to his battered and bruised hooves.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, but anywhere away from ponies like you would be great."

"Whatever, see you around."

Blitz left without another word, slamming the door behind him.

------------

Dusk Shine was leaning over a very dry and ancient tome, head in hoof and snoozing lightly. His mouth was hanging open, and drool slowly dripped over the manuscript, which at least made it less dry.

"Mmmrh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he mumbled in his sleep. "I need time to think."

There was a knock at his bedroom door and he jerked awake, head slipping out of hoof, right cheek smacking the drooly page.

"Eww, that's disgusting! Just a minute!" he said blearily, getting to his hooves and trotting to the door.

He opened the door to see the benevolent face of Prince Solaris smiling down at him.

"Ah, good evening, Prince Solaris," said Dusk, becoming acutely aware of his untidy mane and damp cheek.

"Good evening my star student- Would you like a few minutes to 'freshen up'?" asked the Prince, giving him the once over.

"Yes please," said Dusk sheepishly, gesturing for Solaris to enter. "I won't be long," he said, closing his bathroom door.

The Prince chuckled and walked over to Dusk's writing desk. Seeing the small puddle of saliva, he laughed again, but reading some of the words behind it caused his brow to furrow. He looked at some of the other books.

"Pony Sexuality Through the Ages?" he muttered, "Oh Dusk, what have you been getting yourself into now?" He cast his gaze over a few others. "Don't Let the Fire Die? Honeyed Dreams? Both personal favourites of mine, it's good to see my student has good taste."

The door opened and Dusk emerged, mane straightened out and face clean. He saw the Prince looking over the books and he stopped dead.

"Prince Solaris, I can explain!"

"Please do," he said, "If you were using it for other reasons than intended, I am curious to know."

"Yes, well," said Dusk, heat rising to his face. "I-"

"Is this what you were writing to me about?" asked the Prince, stepping in to save Dusk the embarrassment of explaining himself. "From what I can gather, you seem to be experiencing some sort of crisis of identity?"

Dusk looked at the floor and nodded, unable to look the alicorn in the eye.

"Yes," he murmured.

"Concerning your sexuality?"

"Yes."

Solaris considered his student for a moment.

"Come, take a seat," he said, drawing up Dusk's desk chair and pushing it forwards so that Dusk fell into it. The Prince conjured another one out of the air with his magic. "Dusk, I have been your mentor ever since you were a foal, so I think it's fair to say I know you very well." He surveyed the unicorn with a penetrating stare. "And I can tell that something big has happened recently. You've never delved into these subjects before, and you seem very enthusiastic if those books are anything to go by!"

Dusk's cheeks turned pink.

"But that's all by the by," he continued, "what has happened? You don't have to tell me, but I feel that it would be in your best interests to share it with someone."

"I suppose I should... it's about Rainbow Blitz."

"Rainbow Blitz? What has that trouble maker been doing now?"

"He told me he liked me."

"Oh, I see... hmmm, and what was your response?"

"No, of course: I'm straight."

"But are you sure about that?"

"Increasingly no," he admitted, "if you'd asked me yesterday I would've said yes, but since this all began... I'm beginning to wonder."

"Do you ever remember sneaking a look at my rear end when you thought I wasn't looking?"

"What?" said Dusk, genuinely confused. "No, I don't."

"Interesting, because I certainly do. Perhaps you are in denial? It's quite a common occurrence you know: ponies, subdued by society, feel like they cannot be who they truly are for fear of retribution. Perhaps this is what's happening with you... I knew I should've given you more sex ed... Oh well. Dusk, I would love to help you more but this is something you must discover for yourself, if there is indeed anything to discover. It is your responsibility. By all means write to me if anything goes wrong, and also write to me if you discover a new lesson on either friendship or love, or maybe both."

"Thank you, I shall. Would you like anything before you go?"

"A ginger biscuit would be nice, then I must be off."

----------

The Prince's visit had given Dusk a lot to think about, on top of the plethora of other things he already had to think about. Forging on with his studying, he read into psychology and began to lose track of time, and eventually concentration. As the night wore on, Dusk found himself slumping in his seat, and having to read sentences several times before he absorbed their meaning.

"This is so irritating!" he grumbled, reading a paragraph for the fourth time.

At last, it came to a point where Dusk had to admit defeat: he had burnt himself out for the day.

"Okay, I think that's enough for today."

He leaned back in his chair until he felt a satisfying sensation as his spine cracked. Standing up, he yawned and plodded across the dimly lit room to his bathroom. Turning on the shower, he climbed in, eyes unfocused as hot steam rose up around him. His mind may be exhausted, but that didn't stop thoughts bouncing around as he cleansed himself. Shower time was always important to Dusk, it was where he liked to do his deep and meaningful thinking. He threw his head back and the hot water splashed over his face.

What if Solaris is right? What if I am bisexual? Or even gay?
No, I know I'm not gay, I definitely do find mares attractive. Applejack's sister was always kinda cute...
Whoa boy, you're getting distracted, what about stallions? Are any of them attractive? Ooh, let's do an experiment!

He rallied through a list of his friends and picked out the few that came to mind.

Well, if I'm gonna have to do this... there's Butterscotch?

He felt weird just thinking it.

I mean he's ever so kind and caring, I imagine he would be a good coltfriend to have-

"By Solaris was I really just thinking that?"

He paused to gather his thoughts, water cascading over him before ploughing on.

There's also Elusive. There always would be, the mares go mad for him- he's sexy by anyone's standards. I can't imagine him being a good coltfriend though for some reason.
And finally there's...

"Rainbow Blitz."

Well, you get what you see with him: he's brash, he's in your face, he's strong, ambitious, talented. Quite the looker too, I suppose... and most importantly he's loyal. Oh so very loyal, he'd probably stick with me until the end...

Dusk gave his head a shake. He'd been in the shower for over fifteen minutes. He got out and dried himself off.
Getting into bed, he was still belting out new and exotic thoughts about stallions. His head hit the pillows, and he immediately fell asleep, his waking consciousness passing the torch of imagination to his dreams.