Danganronpa: In Harmony's Wake: Lost Moments

by Dewdrops on the Grass

The Third Trial's Saddest End

Earlier this morning, before the investigation…

Trixie carefully opened the door to Sunset’s cabin as quietly as she could, doing her best not to wake her best friend. The last thing she needed to do now was be caught. She had everything else prepared and ready to go for her backup plan. All she needed to do now was plant the syringes in Adagio’s first aid kit.

She spotted the kit sitting atop the dresser, and inched forward on the tips of her toes, closer and closer. Just before she reached it however, an empty can--a leftover from a last minute soda Sunset had guzzled down just before bed--was sent flying by her foot, crashing into the wall with a clatter that sounded to Trixie like it was louder than a gun going off.

Sunset shot up in bed, arms raised in self defense despite her eyes still being shut. “Hgh, what, who’s there?” she muttered as she opened her eyes. She spotted Trixie standing there, though in her half-asleep state she didn’t notice anything amiss. “Trixie? What’re…” she trailed off into a massive yawn. “What’re you doing up so early?”

Inside her head, Trixie was screaming in panic. She still had the syringes in her hand, which she’d managed to tuck into her cloak the instant she heard Sunset awaken. “T-t-Trixie h-had a bad dream!” Trixie stuttered, giving Sunset a smile so strained it threatened to tear her cheeks apart. “She, uh, she’s going to take a shower now! Excuse Trixie!”

Sunset watched Trixie zip into the bathroom like an Olympic sprinter launching off at the sound of the starting gun. “Uh, okay then,” she muttered. She stared at the bathroom door mindlessly for a moment, trying to process the sudden interruption in her sleep before smacking her lips together. Her mouth was too dry. And she was waking up. “Screw it, I might as well get up now.”

Inside the bathroom, Trixie tossed off her clothes in a hurry and threw herself under the spray of water, turning it as hot as she could stand. Crap, crap crap crap! I can’t plant the syringes now! Sunset’ll see me! What do I do?! She let the water run through her hair and cascade down her body, washing away any scent of pool water. Okay, okay, this isn’t so bad. Everything else still points to Rainbow Dash, right? A-and the other clues point to Adagio. Maybe I just need to hold onto the syringes after all.

Fumbling for the soap, she drizzled a substantial amount onto her loofah and rubbed it across herself, building up a fine lather. Maybe this is for the best. If, if Sunset figures out Rainbow Dash didn’t do it, she… The loofah dropped from her hand as a sudden realization struck her mind. Oh my goodness. She could’ve caught me! What was I thinking, putting the syringes in Adagio’s kit? Adagio isn’t in here! Sunset knows that!

Laughter bubbled up inside her stomach until it erupted from her lips like a volcano spraying its magma down its sides. Trixie, you are a genius. This is for the best! Even if Sunset figures out I did it, she won’t be able to prove it! There won’t be anything pointing to me! Okay, so what do I do with the syringes then? ...of course, I should dump them in the bathroom. Hide them inside my dirty towel. Sunset’ll never notice.

A knock pounded on the bathroom door. “Hey, Trixie, you almost done in there?” called Sunset. “I really need to piss. Like, bad.”

“Almost finished, Sunset!” Trixie called back, even as her lips spread in a sinister smile.

~*~

Later, during the end of the trial…

Adagio bowed her head, then raised it again. All signs of anger had vanished from her face, replaced by a cold-hearted neutrality, or perhaps resignation. “Let me just say this: if you fools vote for me, all you’ll be doing is killing us all.”

“Trixie doesn’t buy it!” Trixie shouted, slamming a hand on her podium. “Sunset, do the thing! Prove she did it!”

My eyes met Adagio’s, like two boxers squaring off before a fight. I searched and searched, looking for some sign of guilt, of regret, of anything to indicate she was lying. But I didn’t see it. All I saw was sincerity. A certainty of purpose. And that caused the gears in my brain to turn over yet again, and consider one other possibility I hadn’t bothered to consider before now. A possibility that loomed up inside me, seeming more and more plausible the more I thought about it. Obvious, even, in retrospect. Damn it. God damn it.

A thought occurred to me. A plan formed in my head. And as my own gaze shifted to belief in Adagio, I saw her eyes soften, the Adagio I knew peeking through again. I gave her the slightest of nods, and she nodded back. Okay. Here goes nothing.

“Adagio,” I spoke up, “there’s something we need to check. Would you please do me a favor?” By Celestia I hope I’m right. Please tell me I’m right. Because if I’m wrong, then Adagio did it after all.

“What is it?” Adagio replied simply, her demeanor unwavering despite the softening of her eyes.

“Can you show us your first aid kit?”

I saw a dawning smile of comprehension briefly appear on Adagio’s face before it vanished. “Fine,” she muttered, still playing the act. Rummaging through her backpack, she pulled out the massive kit. “Here,” she said, handing it to Rainbow Dash, who passed it to me. “Go nuts.”

“Um, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, frowning in bemusement.

Flash, still rubbing his chin, said, “Yeah, Sunset, what’s this about?”

“Just checking something,” I said. I leaned down to unlatch the kit, took a deep breath, then opened it up.

But there was nothing inside, save for the usual first aid supplies. My heart sank further and further until it practically smushed itself into a paste and dripped out the bottom of my shoes.

“No…” I whispered as I looked up at Adagio, horror warring with endless sorrow. “No!” I repeated louder, my sorrow flash boiling into rage. “No, no, no! God damn it Adagio!”

Adagio, utterly flabbergasted, recoiled back from my display of anger, her own hackles rising. Her amethyst-hued gaze hardened like diamonds. “What?” she growled.

“You really did do it, didn’t you?!” I railed, gritting my teeth so hard my whole face hurt. “God fucking damn it, Adagio, I thought you were better than this! I thought you had sense! Was this why you wanted to sleep elsewhere? Because you planned this? Were you lying in wait, in case an opportunity manifested itself?!”

Hurt warred with sheer fury in Adagio’s eyes as she brought her hands up, so curled into that claw-like motion I could see them shake from the strain. She bared her sharp teeth at me, all predatory furor as she snarled, “Sunset, don’t be a fool! You’re talking to me about sense?! Where’s the sense in accusing me when you know damn well who really did it?!” She whirled and pointed her hands at the woman standing next to me. “You!”

“Trixie?!” Trixie blurted, taking a step back behind me like she was using me as a shield. Despite her obvious trepidation, Trixie fired off a fierce glower at the siren. “Hah! Don’t be stupid! Trixie couldn’t have killed Pinkie Pie! She was sleeping in Sunset’s cabin!”

Adagio rolled her eyes in an exaggerated, furious motion, reaching out like she wanted to strangle the illusionist. “Oh please. I’ve slept with Sunset often enough to know how heavy a sleeper she is. You could’ve easily snuck out of the room.”

I laughed in Adagio’s face, the taste of it bitter and nasty, like coffee left out on the burner for over twelve hours till it had been reduced to a blackened sludge. Despite the laughter, inside all I wanted to do was cry. “Are you serious, Adagio? She woke me up this morning, fresh out of bed. She didn’t go anywhere.”

“That’s right!” Trixie said with a firm nod. “Trixie had a bad dream, so she woke up early to take a shower.”

“Or,” Adagio retorted, “you were showering to wash off the pool smell, because you’re the one who moved Pinkie’s body!”

“Uh, Ah hate to interrupt,” Applejack said, scowling at the siren, “but Ah can’t see Trixie doin’ that. She ain’t strong enough to move them weights!”

“Yeah, seriously!” Rainbow Dash agreed, hatred coating her words. “But you, Adagio? You’re plenty strong enough! And you’re a fantastic swimmer!”

“That’s right, she is!” Rarity agreed, stepping forward as far as she dared to protect Trixie. “I remember watching her race Sunset in the pool the other day. She swam like she was born in the water.”

Flash nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I remember seeing something like that too.”

Twilight, still shaky from her own admission earlier in the trial, fixed Adagio with a cool gaze. “I was right after all, wasn’t I, Adagio? You really are a killer.”

Scootaloo tossed off a dismissive hand at Adagio before grimacing. “I always thought you seemed shifty. You’ve been nothing but a jerk to Trixie from the start. Like anyone’s going to believe you blaming her for what you did, murderer!”

Diamond Tiara nodded in agreement. “I can’t see Trixie killing anyone. But Adagio? She’s a psycho!”

“Don’t call me that!” Adagio railed. She pointed a furious finger at Trixie. “I can prove it. I can prove she did it! Search her! If she didn’t plant the syringes in my first aid kit, they’re on her!”

Glancing at Trixie, I saw for the briefest of seconds a flash of fear pass across her face before she schooled it to a determined frown. “Fine. You wish to search Trixie? Trixie will consent to the search!”

I looked up at Monoponi, trying to keep my temper under control. “Monoponi? We might have to step away from our podiums so I can search her. Given it’s for the trial, is that alright?”

Monoponi leered at me, a hoof held up to his chin as he cocked his head. “Very well! Your Captain will allow this.”

Trixie and I both moved a good ten feet or so away from the podiums, where we could be easily seen by everyone. “Sorry, Trixie,” I said. “I don’t really want to do this.”

“It’s fine, Sunset,” Trixie replied with a smile as she took off her cloak and held up her arms. “Go ahead. Search as hard as you need to. Leave nothing untouched.”

Trying not to feel like the grossest pervert in the world for this, I patted down Trixie’s body, checking every spot I could. I tried to minimize the amount of invasive touching, because I could see Trixie frowning in discomfort. Once done I made sure to search through her pockets and finally turned her cloak inside out and ran my hand along the entire lining. I found nothing. “Sorry, again,” I said.

Trixie shook her head and smiled back at me. “Like Trixie said, it’s fine. Trixie was happy to prove her innocence.

“Well Ah think that settles it, far as Ah’m concerned,” Applejack said as the two of us returned to our podiums.

“No it doesn’t!” Adagio screamed, slamming her fists down onto her podium so hard she sent massive amounts of wood chips flying through the air like grapeshot. “S-she must’ve h-hid them somewhere else! If she didn’t have them--”

“Stop lying, Adagio!” I howled, swinging my arm through the air like a scythe. “Do you know how sick I feel right now? I thought I could trust you, but I was wrong! I was so wrong! I never should’ve trusted you.”

Adagio let out a wordless screech, clawing a hand down her face in frustration. “You stupid pony! Why won’t you listen to me?!”

“You want to know why I won’t listen?” I said, my heart hammering in my chest as my pony instincts screamed in my brain. “Because what I should’ve listened to from the start was my instincts! I knew you were bad news and I didn’t listen because I was too horny to pay attention!”

Twilight glanced my way, curiosity brimming in her gaze. “What do you mean, Sunset?”

Adagio took in a sharp breath, her anger evaporating into stark horror. “No, don’t… don’t do it, Sunset. Don’t tell them.”

Too late, you murderer. I raised an accusatory finger and pointed it at my former lover. “Oh I’m going to tell them, because there’s no point hiding anymore. Of course Adagio’s a murderer, everyone, because she’s not even human!”

“What?!” Rarity gasped, clasping both hands to her face.

Scootaloo jumped back from her podium. “Holy shit… how do you know?”

Twilight adjusted her glasses and shook her head. “Why am I not surprised?”

“I know,” I said, ignoring the look of pure shock on Adagio’s face, “because she told me, back before the first trial. She’s from Equestria like me, but she’s not a pony. She’s a siren. They’re predators. They feed off of negative emotions. Ponies and sirens are natural enemies, but she claimed she trusted me over the rest of you because we're both non-humans. In retrospect, I should’ve known she was using me.”

“Using?” Adagio whispered. “No. No, I wasn’t… I wasn’t using you, Sunset… I…” Her sorrow twisted up into rage once more. “I loved you! There, I said it! I fell in love with you, you stupid pony bitch. Think about it! Why would I kill Pinkie Pie if it wasn’t to use the plus one to allow us both to escape?”

I shook my head, anger turning my heart to stone. I refused to let her words affect me anymore. “Bullshit. Maybe that’s how you justified it in your head, but you know me. You know how much I’d hate you for killing someone just to save my life. I never wanted that! I would never want that! And you know that damned well. Which means if you killed Pinkie Pie you didn’t do it for me! You did it for your own stupid selfish self!”

“Is it time to vote yet?” Diamond Tiara said, her voice growing bored. “I’m done with this shit.”

“Me too,” Scootaloo seconded as she scowled at the siren. “I’m ready for this to end.”

Applejack nodded, her nostrils flaring. “Ah’m in agreement. Let’s vote now!”

“W-wait just a moment,” Flash said, raising a hand. He looked over at me. “Aren’t you going to go over the case one more time before we do it? Just to be safe?”

I shrugged. “Why bother? We all know who did it. I’m as hungry as the rest of you. Let’s get this over with.”

Monoponi hopped up in his seat. “Well if even Sunset’s saying it’s time to vote, then it’s time to vote! Now then, since we’re voting for two blackeneds, not just one, you’ll have to be sure you vote in order! Fluttershy first, then Pinkie. Don’t forget, if you fail to vote, it will result in your death.”

“Rrrgh… rrrAAAGH!” Adagio roared, her voice shifting to resemble something torn from a lizard throat rather than anything mammalian. “You… you fools!” Her eyes flashed a solid crimson. “You stupid fools! You’re going to kill us all!”

Our alicorn captor lit up his horn and with one quick pull he sapped away the magic Adagio was pouring out. “That’s enough of that! Get to voting, you morons. Your time starts now!”

The displays lit up before us, the image of faces ready for the choice. Without hesitation I pressed on Twilight’s face first, then Adagio’s. Inside I was trembling with overwhelming fury and heartbreak. Why I thought I could ever trust a siren with my heart, I didn’t know. It was one of the worst decisions of my life. But at least I knew that now. At least I knew now what she was truly like. She really was the monster I thought she was all along.

I hoped Monoponi would let us vote for who gets executed, because I planned on voting for Adagio.

The thirty seconds of voting passed quickly, the central display lighting up with the vote tallies. The votes were nearly unanimous in both cases, with almost everyone voting for Twilight and Adagio respectively. Only one person chose differently, voting for Trixie as Pinkie’s blackened. A single glance at the siren bent over her podium, now weeping tears of frustration, told me who it was.

I waited for Monoponi’s usual display of fireworks showing we’d gotten it right. But for some reason they didn’t fire. As the seconds passed, a growing sense of unease filled my insides, a worry forming in my brain. “Uh… Monoponi?” I said after a solid minute had passed with no fireworks. “What’s the holdup?”

“Well now,” Monoponi said, his muzzle twisted with uncertainty. “This is quite the quandary. Quite the pickle. Quite the dilemma even!”

I exchanged a look with Rarity, then another with Flash and a third with Twilight, all of whom seemed just as worried as I was. “What do you mean?” I ventured. “What’s wrong?”

“Well you see,” Monoponi answered, waving a forehoof in circles, “you got Fluttershy’s absolutely right!” He pointed at Twilight’s face on the central display, and above her formed the usual fireworks exploding into the word GUILTY, albeit without the usual accompanying noise. “But when it comes to Pinkie Pie…”

To say those words caused my blood to freeze didn’t come close to representing the dawning terror filling me. My whole body burned as if soaked in liquid nitrogen, frozen stiff and solid thicker than any ice. “Y-y-y-you d-d-don’t m-m-m-mean…”

“Upupupu ahahahah ahahahaha eyaahaha hahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHA!” Monoponi’s rising laughter filled the entire courtroom as a new word exploded into being over Adagio’s face, a word that caused everyone to scream in sheer fright.

INNOCENT.

“That’s right, my stupid little passengers!” Monoponi cackled as the screams rose in volume. “It’s my turn to say you’ve got that wrong! Because you did! You chose the wrong person to vote for! Such a shame. Because you know who the real blackened was?”

Every light in the courtroom suddenly went out, plunging us into darkness and eliciting even more shrieks. Then a single spotlight blazed to life as a drumroll played through the courtroom speakers. It scanned the room, swishing about like it was searching for its target before it focused on someone I’d already begun to expect.

Trixie. Trixie was the blackened. Adagio was right! Trixie was the blackened!

“Congratulations, Trixie Lulamoon, on successfully beguiling your fellow passengers~!” Monoponi said as he brought the lights back up, allowing me to see the looks of anger, rage, betrayal, and shock decorating everyone’s faces save for Trixie’s own. “Because you did it! I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!”

Applejack, roaring in fury, shot forward from her podium, followed swiftly in turn by Rainbow Dash and Flash Sentry, all three of whom bum rushed Trixie, only to be swatted away by Monoponi’s magic, scattering them like bowling pins. He wrapped up Trixie in his field and lifted her up onto his throne, allowing her to stand on it while he took flight to hover in front of it, with a forcefield up to protect her. I saw her beat on it with her fist, trying to shout something only to be muffled into silence by it.

“You monster!” Rarity shrieked at the top of her lungs even as Monoponi’s magic held her back from moving. “You horrid little monster! How dare you murder Pinkie Pie?!”

“You lyin’ sack of trash!” Applejack added as she climbed to her feet, rubbing her sore behind. “Ah oughta tear you in half!”

“I told you all,” Adagio said, her voice low and heavy. “I tried to warn you… I tried.”

“Trixie…” I breathed. “How… how could you… how did you…” My heart leapt into my throat as I realized what happened. “Oh my god. You were going to hide the syringes in the first aid kit this morning, weren’t you! You woke me up by accident! If I hadn’t left that soda can there, we wouldn’t… this wouldn’t… it’s my fault…”

“Okay, that’s enough out of all of you!” Monoponi shouted, his magic lashing forward, grabbing us all up with ropes of pure magic, with a gag for good measure. “You don’t get to talk anymore unless I say so. You know, it’s a shame that things turned out this way. I had hopes that you would never lose a case, Sunset. I expected you to solve everything. I gave you every opportunity, afforded you every chance, always provided enough time… you weren’t supposed to lose. This really messes up my plans, you realize. I needed you all to last longer than this. Oh well!”

He flew forward and got right up my face, his jagged teeth dripping with saliva. “I could always wipe your memories again. Start over with fewer people. But I’m not going to do that. Know why? Because I follow the rules. And you know what the rules say, when the blackened wins the trial.”

No, I wanted to say. Please, no! But I couldn’t speak. Nothing I could do let me get past the magic holding my mouth shut. All I could do was shake my head furiously like a rag doll.

“Sorry, Sunset, but you can’t beg out of this now,” Monoponi said. He patted my head gently with a forehoof, then faced Trixie. “So, because the motive did happen to include the ability to take a fellow passenger along with you on your Rescue, I’ll let you decide, Trixie!” He dropped the forcefield protecting her. “Go ahead. Who do you want to live alongside you? Who are you saving?”

Don’t pick me. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to live after fucking this up. Pick someone else. Rarity, Scootaloo, Flash, someone other than me.

But my prayers fell on deaf ears. Quietly, Trixie raised a finger and pointed directly at me. “Sunset Shimmer. She’s my plus one,” she said, her voice shaking. “S-she’s the one I want.”

Monoponi released me from his magic bonds and dissolved my gag, allowing me to move and speak again. “Congratulations, Sunset, it seems Trixie cared so much for you she was willing to kill for you! Isn’t that wonderful? Don’t you feel loved?”

I didn’t respond. I ignored him in favor of rushing over to Adagio, who was tied up at her podium, staring at me with unreadable eyes. “Adagio,” I said, my voice shaking like crazy, tears in my eyes, my heart hammering at a million miles per hour in my chest as my whole body became drenched in sweat. “I didn’t--I thought… oh my god I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to… to…”

I stopped talking. The look in Adagio’s face said all she had to say. You killed me. You killed me and everyone else, you idiotic, moronic, dense motherfucking pony. This is your fault. We’re going to die because of you.

Glancing around the room, meeting the eyes of every other person bonded, I saw a similar look of hatred, of blame, of accusation. Your fault, their eyes said. All your fault.

Bowing my head in shame, I found my feet guiding me towards Monoponi’s throne. I collapsed against it, crumpling up in a heap at Trixie’s feet. Trixie hopped off the throne to join me, wrapping me up in an embrace I didn’t want. “I’m so sorry, Sunset,” she said, words that I didn’t want or need to hear.

I wanted to shove her away. To hit her, to shout at her, to scream in rage. But all my emotions were spent. All that was left in me was the gnawing, gaping maw of emptiness that was despair. I thought I’d known despair before, when Fluttershy died. When Apple Bloom died. But it was nothing like now. The emptiness, the sheer scale of it was so overwhelming, it felt like I’d never feel anything again.

I broke. I broke, and I would never be restored.

“What, nothing else to say, Sunset? No objections, no pointless fighting back against the inevitable?” Monoponi said. He grinned that insipid toothy grin at me. “Well good! Because I didn’t want to hear it anyway!” He whirled to face the others. “As for the rest of you, it’s time!” He stripped off their gags, allowing them to scream once more. Their shouts of dismay and cries for help filled the room, begging for mercy, pleading to live, to escape, to do anything to stop their fate.

Monoponi picked up Trixie and I in his magic and separated us to stand on each side of his throne like we were his lackeys. He hopped back up on it, grinning at everyone. “Now then, I’ve prepared a very special punishment for failing to find the blackened!”

More shouts and cries of distress filled the air, everyone talking at once. I couldn’t make out any specific words, but I saw the anger, the fear. The overwhelming sense that they were all about to die.

“Let’s give it everything we’ve got. Iiiiiiiit’s punishment time!”

A big red button rose on a pedestal before him. I felt him wrap up my arm in his magic, and Trixie’s too, using the two of us to hit the button together, lighting up the displays on the wall. Chains, collars, and manacles descended from the ceiling, latching on to everyone else and hauling them all out of sight.

The screens split into eight separate sections, showcasing everyone heading down a separate path. They were all subjected to the usual bumps and bruises, slamming against protrusions in the corridors. Then the screens switched to showcase one large room, split into eight sections like an octagon, marked in eight separate colors, with each person being executed dropped onto the color that most closely matched them:Twilight’s lavender, Scootaloo’s cerise, Rarity’s white, Applejack’s orange, Rainbow’s cyan, Flash’s deep blue, Diamond Tiara’s pale pink, and Adagio’s tangerine. Manacles popped up out of the floor to take hold of their wrists and ankles, tying them in place. Collars snapped around their necks, chains connecting them all together like a big circle.

One at a time, they were subjected to individualized torture. Twilight was up first as a large beaker of acid descended from the ceiling poured itself all over her, causing her to thrash and scream in sheer agony. Her jerky movements pulled on everyone else’s collars, choking them and bruising their necks. Then a sparking wire popped up to fill her body with electricity, causing her to howl from the excruciating pain until she fell silent and unmoving.

Applejack was next, pummeled by bushel after bushel of rocks painted to look like apples until nearly every bone in her body was broken, and then she was smashed to bits by a giant tree.

On and on it went. Giant sewing needles repeatedly pierced Rarity’s flesh until she was sewn into a large piece of fabric, leaving her bleeding to death from dozens of holes. An oversized muscle car bearing his symbol drove into the room and squashed Flash under its tires. Adagio was lifted up and turned upside down, dunking her head into a tank of water and keeping her there till she drowned. Rainbow Dash's restraints pulled on her limbs until she was torn in half, her screams filling the air. Scootaloo was slowly crushed under the weight of a gigantic red scooter.

Diamond Tiara was the last to go, forced to stand helpless as a large, ravenous, rabid dog barreled into the room and tore into her with great abandon, keeping her alive as long as possible while slowly consuming her.

Then when it seemed everything was over, the whole room filled up with gas and a spark ignited, setting everything ablaze and burning everyone and everything, bodies and all, to ash.

As the screens went dark, leaving Trixie and I stunned from the sheer cruelty the others were subjected to, Monoponi hopped off his podium and wrapped a foreleg around each of our shoulders. “You know something, Sunset, Trixie? I really have to hand it to you. That was fun. Even if my plans are ruined now, that was a whole lot of fun. I can always accomplish my goal some other way. But you two? You’re free to go.”

It’s all my fault. I did this. There’s no point anymore.

As he released us, the elevator doors opened. “Go ahead. Take it. Go to the top. It’ll take us a while to get back to shore, so you can still enjoy the luxuries the ship has to offer. Please, feel free to eat, drink, and be merry! You’ve earned your Rescue!”

Slowly, ever so slowly, I stepped forward, one foot at a time, until I was in the elevator. Trixie followed me without saying a word. Neither of us spoke as it took us back up to the promenade. As we rode, gears turned and shifted in my mind. A decision was reached.

The only thing I could do.

When it opened, Trixie sallied forth. She tried to smile at me, and said something I didn’t hear. I wasn’t listening. I didn’t want to hear it. I knew what I needed to do. I had to do it. I didn’t have a choice.

I went into the sporting goods store, and found the strongest, stiffest rope that I could. Placing it in my backpack, I also made sure to pick up the heaviest dumbbell I could find. When I left the store, Trixie was waiting for me, asking me something, wondering what I was doing. Without a word I raised the dumbbell up. Her eyes widened, pupils shrinking to dots as she backed away, shaking her head furiously, holding her hands up for protection. But she couldn’t get away.

I brought the dumbbell down upon her and didn’t stop until I’d smashed her head apart like a melon.

Leaving it and her body where they had fallen, I continued outside onto the bridge deck. The warm sea air filled my nostrils with the scent of salt, the sound of the waves crashing against the ship almost peaceful in a way. Reassuring me I’d made the right choice. That I was doing the right thing. The only thing I could do now.

I walked over to the edge of the railing, and tied one end of the rope to it, then fashioned the rest of the rope into a noose, which I lowered around my neck. I then climbed over the railing, hanging from it with my arms behind me, letting the wind pass over me, blow through my hair, across my face, like the caress of a lover’s touch.

I took one last breath of sea air, and dropped.