Discord flew deeper into the castle, slinking and teleporting (though at an aggravatingly short distance) around various armors, portraits and underneath carpets to avoid detection from the roaming guards and castle staff who are now on high alert.
And most importantly, the Celestial Smooch.
In a particularly long and foreboding corridor, A guard asked another, "Have you seen Discord yet?"
"No sir, I'll keep looking, sir," he replied, and they left the corridor. A rather flattened Discord popped out under the fancy rug and un-flattened himself. He hated to be so discrete, but he needed to be. And now, he needed to gather his thoughts in somewhere secure and safe.
Besides, he needed to use his voice.
He observed the multiple doors in the corridor, and slid under the heaviest one.
To his surprise, the room was completely dark, not even a window to let the afternoon sunlight in. He lit a little fire with his right paw, and to his surprise, it looked like a room for the dark arts.
He picked up a book from a dusty pile and it was a manual on astral projection, which was really advanced.
To his right was a dusty old Black Queen Bar, a really rare and potentially demonic artifact.
To his left were a set of weights, and some he could tell were enchanted.
"Hmph, this must be where Celestia hides the really nasty books and contraptions," he whispered.
And then gave himself a toothy grin. All these deadly tools at his disposal. It looked all too dreary for his personal tastes, but its efficiency would certainly be helpful considering his strangely diminished powers.
"Perhaps there's a remedy somewhere that can cure my little problem," he said to himself. He moved forward into the center of the room, maybe something to his liking, but noticed at a corner of the room were three large objects each covered in white cloth, and they stood out too much to be something to be taken lightly.
He unveiled the first squarish object and was disappointed to find merely a really old closet.
He unveiled the second one that was roughly the shape of an upright oval. Discord was even more confused. "Why is there a makeup table and mirror here?"
Hoping his luck would change, he placed his bucket down and eagerly reached for the third rectangular object. He removed the cloth, which was the same color as the others but felt thicker. As it slid he noticed a silouette at the other corner that looked vaguely familiar.
He moved his flame closer and froze. Didn't move. Didn't even breathe.
Princess Luna.
Her face was uncovered, sleeping. His paw was clutching a piece of Princess Luna's blankie. He was surrounded by Princess Luna's belongings.
Discord was in Princess Luna's bedchambers.
It's not that he was scared of Luna. In fact, from young she had always been an easy target to pick on.
But the tables had been severely turned. He needed to play it cool, for he can get out of this alive.
Luna, after all, was a notoriously heavy sleeper, even when she was a a young mare, she was like a log when sleeping.
But then he thought, wasn't she a very loud log as well? My ears should be in agony by now-
Luna snored:
"SCHNGHOOOORRR...HURRRRGHHHHH... SCHNGHOOOOORRR-HURRrrghh...
FWOOORGHR- myursamaeshjer-mrrrrgh..."
Discord's whole body rattled. He squeezed his jaws tight to stop the chattering.
He tried his very best to control in particular his arm that still held the blankie, but it still shook just a little bit. Discord could feel every single hair on his body standing up; even his scales felt like screaming themselves off him.
Yesterday, one of her guards asked Luna, "... and how has your sleep been, your highness?"
"Very well, fair Zesty Orange!" she happily proclaimed, "According to the therapists, we have been snoring much less as of late!"
After what felt like forever (about thirty seconds), he finally could relax himself.
Discord very, very, very carefully put the blankie down, very, very, very carefully levitated the two other cloths back to their original positions and began to sneak off.
Unfortunately, his tail lightly clanged the bucket, nearly spilling its undiluted contents. Discord panicked and grabbed the bucket, making even more noise.
"WHO GROES ZHERE!!!??" Luna bellowed groggily with a start, bolting straight up and standing on her bed.
And she was face-to-face wide-eyed at a flinched Discord standing on one leg, flame on one hand, holding a metal bucket.
Her confused expression very, very quickly switched to one of pure, classic Luna-tier fury, "YOU!!"
"Wait! Yoursisterunshackledmefrommypriso-"
And Luna gave Discord an overhead hoof smash to his face so powerful the impact created a sonic boom.
KABOOM!!!!!
His body, led by his face, smashed through the floor.
KABOOM!!!!
He smashed through the lower level's floor.
KABOOM!!!
He smashed through the level below it as well.
KABOOM!!
Then his momentum slowed and he crashed out of a ballroom's ceiling, onto the chandelier which couldn't break his fall and he, his Chaos Bucket (which he still gripped tightly) and the lighting fixture crashed onto the floor.
CRASH!!
He was conscious, his bucket still held its insides alright, but he could only mutter one word, "Owwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
And then she appeared.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
"Dissy-kins? No...! DISSY-KINS!!" yelled Celestia from the outside of the ballroom's window. She leaped through the glass elegantly and with another amazing bound landed by his injured side.
She held him gently up in her forelegs, incredibly concerned. "My love, what happened to you? And your face, what happened??"
He would've shooed her off, but his face was in so much pain, her warm embrace was something of a relief to have at the moment.
"Luna..." he muttered. He was getting his bearings back, but more importantly, placed his precious Chaos Bucket away from Celestia.
"Luna?" she said with a disapproving frown, "Discord, did you try to bother my sister again?"
"I... I was trying to hide myself from... you!" he yelled ungratefully. He had enough of her embrace and pushed her away. But she took her hooves and held his face to look at his incredibly large welt on his left cheek.
"Ow! Hey, careful!" he whined.
"Oh dear, my sister attacked first and didn't bother to ask questions at all, didn't she?" Celestia doted.
"Ya' think?" he quipped.
"Oh dear, this injury will take forever to heal," she said, and conjured up a vanity mirror to show him Luna's hoofwoork.
Discord's eyes widened and his mouth uttered, "It's the size of my eyeball!"
And Celestia gently asked, "I can kiss it better for you..."
Discord turned towards her, snarl increasing with every word, "No. Plunger. Puckers!"
Celestia sighed in peace. "Well, let's take you to the infirmary, my love. You're in some serious need of tender, love and care,"
"What makes you think I wish to be anywhere near you right now?" he questioned. Indeed, his Bucket needed some filling of Chaos in it, away from prying eyes.
She looked at him in the eyes a lot more intensely than what was usual since she broke him out, "Discord. Look around you. You're in the castle governed by Luna and I. Everypony is out hunting for you now. The Elements of Harmony are on standy. And worst of all, you of all ponies woke up my sister. And you're not in the best of shape right now,"
Her eyes ached with matronly gentleness, "Please, let me help you,"
Discord gulped. Those eyes of her were actually making him blush, and he winced at this. Partly because he hated her, and partly because his welt actually stung from just blushing. He picked his Bucket up.
"Alright, fine, but only until this heals up. Then we have a lot to negotiate," he relented.
He is really, really annoyed by how much confusion Celestia can create in his heart.
"Wait a minute," said Celestia, and slowly but surely her eyes went from matronly gentleness to mischievious persuasion, "Give me a kiss first, and then will I take you to the infirmary,"
"... NO. CELESTIAL. SMOOCHES," Discord repeated firmly.
Celestia's smile widened into a toothy one and began her approach.
He backed away. She approached. He backed away. She approached. And their silly dance repeated until Discord realized he was backed up against the ballroom wall.
Lips licked. Lips puckered into a horrifying white flower. Eyes closed. Head raised up and moved forward. Hooves pinned his arms a lot faster than Discord realized.
His sweat beaded out hard. The plunger was so close, so LARGE. Discord closed her eyes, and hoped he'll faint.
That infirmary better had a comfy bed to lie down on from his horrible punishment.
And his enormous welt. That hurt too.
"STAY THINE ENORMOUS SMOOCH FROM THAT MONSTER, SISTER!!" bellowed Luna from the entrance. Twilight and Cadance stroked a pose as well.
Discord's exhaled with sheer relief. Celestia turned to her sister, and curtly said, "Sister, can you not see I'm in the middle of kissing my boyfriend?"
"Celestia, listen to yourself! Twilight Sparkle and Mi Amora Cadenza told us the whole thing," and quickly turned to Cadance, "WE SHALL HAVE WORDS FOR THEE LATER," and turned back to Celestia and Discord.
The trio approached closer. "But we must ask then, Discord, how dist thou managed to enchant my sister so severely and lowered thine own powers?"
"I didn't! This crazy mare was the one who broke me out, she was the one that took my powers! And I don't know how, why, oh why is she so crazy right now!" he spat out desperately. Hooves still pinned his arms up against the wall.
"Oh, you three think I'm still enchanted?" Celestia asked politely.
"... What?" reacted Cadance. Celestia nodded understandably.
"I see some clarification is needed. You see, Cadance, your spell did in fact take effect on me to be motivated to get a date. And I had one in my mind already: you, my love," And lovingly placed her head on Discord's neck.
All Discord could think of was to not sniff her beautifully puffy mane.
"In fact, my subconscious must've really been clamoring for you Discord, I must've ached for those days more than I thought, which reacted with the spell severely,"
Cadance asked, "But my reversal spell. Is it because of your subconsciousness that I couldn't reverse it?"
Celestia giggled, "It's not because of that I'm afraid. It's because that spell you hit must've been a very minor one and in fact, wore off when I reached Discord's prison, so what you see here is the real me,"
"But that doesn't make sense!" started Twilight, "You're you! You're Princess Celestia, the calmest of ponies, the most patient of equines! Not like some, well, like Pinkie Pie with a crush or somethin'...!"
"I believe the spell acted as a catalyst no doubt, but I decided, if there's was any time to completely act out my inhibitions, the time would be now,"
"So, you're not under a love spell, at all?" Discord asked. Her dreaded forelegs glomped his body tightly, and rubbed against his neck.
"All my true feelings, all for you Discord," she said.
"But... my powers...!"
"Hmm, I see. I believe it's because what released you was essentially the chaos of love. My impromptu, uninhibited outburst must've dampened your powers! Oh Discord, the power of love has allowed me to be closer to you!"
"Great, just great, I've been released and weakened by the gushiest of chaos, looooooove..." he exclaimed sarcastically.
Luna coughed to interrupt, "Whilst I am glad you have expressed your true feelings, sister, and clarified this ridiculous mess, this madness must stop. We cannot have you be in love with that monster,"
"Don't call him that, little sister!" she glared, "I can change him, I can make him love me again, I can save him!"
Oh brother, thought Discord.
Twilight shook her head sadly, "Princess, as much I hate to disagree with you, I have to disagree with you. Discord is just too much trouble, let's just blast him with the Elements of Harmony and fix this,"
This was bad, thought Discord. He needed to get out fast, or be under the hoof of pretty much the four most powerful ponies in Equestria, but what way out is there?
"Et tu, Twilight?" she answered sadly, "Please you three. I merely ask that you give us a chance, I can feel his heart beating under his coat..."
Discord felt really, really confused by that one, and his heart raced even faster, which made Celestia smile just a little more, but he must make his escape.
"Well, if you really feel he can be changed, Princess... I believe you," said Twilight.
"I as well, Your Highness. The power of love must triumph," added Cadance.
"HMPH! These foals know not the sordid history of Discord! Your desperation must be quelled, sister!" demanded Luna.
And Discord found his opportunity.
"Hey!" yelled Discord at Luna, "Don't you be disrespecting your sister, Mooooh-na!"
Twilight noticed an eye twitch. "What... dist thou call me?"
Discord nodded pompously, "I am merely calling you by what you are, shouldn't you be moooh-ving somewhere to be herded?"
Lightning struck, and it's thunder boomed and reverberated long, and ferociously.
"Discord! Please, don't anger my sister again!" she pleaded, hugging him tighter.
And Luna lowered her horn, aiming at Discord's right cheek. "Hold him still, big sister, I wish to even out that goat's face with some PAIN!!"
And Celestia released her forelegs, and shielded him with her arms. "Luna! I forbid you to hurt him!"
With that release and some quick timing, his tail flung his Bucket of Chaos in the air right in the middle of the group, and gave it a quick blast, exploding it.
It was a huge pink puff of smoke, engulfing them all, stinging their eyes and clogging their nostrils.
With waves of the alicorns' wings, the smoke dissipated, and the soreness decreasing.
"Is everyone alright??" yelled Cadance.
"We art unharmed!" replied Luna.
"Me too!" yelled Twilight, but noticed something, "Why are there plastic wings strapped on my back, a plastic halo strapped on my horn and... great, Discord's bomb gave me a diaper,"
"His magic must be really messed up if that's the worst it can do," Cadance commented.
The four realized that Discord has once again escaped.
And something else happened: Celestia's very rarely used, but equally as powerful as Luna's, Royal Canterlot Voice.
"LUNA, TWILIGHT, CADANCE," bellowed Celestia at the three. Cadance and Twilight immediately cowered, even Luna looked slightly frightened.
"LUNA, INCREASE SECURITY AMONGST CANTERLOT. CADANCE, HAVE CAPTAIN SHINING ARMOR USE HIS SHIELD SPELL TO STOP DISCORD FROM ESCAPING. TWILIGHT, GATHER YOUR FRIENDS AND BE READY THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY. AND LEAVE DISCORD... to me,"
And she rocketed off. Singeing the three ponies' manes. Again.
"Oh, Princess Luna! So that's what your mane would look like if it's singed! Neat!"
To be Continued...
Author's note: Don't worry, there will be a conclusion to this all. I have a plan! Your constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!