//------------------------------//
// The Princesses 
// Story: I Am Anonymous 
// by IWasAnonymous 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 2


It's been three months since Anonymous arrived in Ponyville, and plenty has happened. Word of Anon's part-time "profession" spread throughout the small town. Many ponies approached Anon, extremely wary of him, with a job offer. Within the first week, Anon had earned eight hundred bits. Most ponies paid him by the hour, so getting money wasn't hard. 
After the first month, Anon bought an abandoned house on the edge of town. It was old, and most ponies called it a shack. Almost every aspect of the house needed repairs. Anon began slowly but surely repairing the home with building supplies he bought with the bits he earned. Along with the reserves, he purchased the various tools that he needed. 
When the house was almost livable, Anon purchased cheap, wooden furniture that wasn't already there. However, a lot of the furnishings needed repairing. The mattress he bought had to stuff from it, and the sheets had many tears and holes. The only blanket remotely clean was the one given to him by the Mane 6. The house had a wood stove that was in decent condition, so Anon cooked a lot of his food on it. Plumbing was a challenge, but he managed to fix it. Then, he had a fully functioning sink and a shower. Bathing in a river wasn't the best thing in the world. 
With the bits he had left over, Anon purchased food. The food was primarily vegetables, fruit, and bread. The meat was a little harder to acquire. He had to hunt using snares and traps, mainly for small game animals. Fluttershy tries to stop Anonymous from killing the animals, but she only gets a blank stare and gets told to get lost. She tried using her secret weapon called The Stare. That didn't work, either. Anon laughed at it and walked away. When a filly got trapped in a snare, Anon cut down on the hunting. As a meal, he usually ate soup or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Leftovers were an everyday meal, as well. 
Over the next two months, Anonymous developed a system that helped him manage his time. He usually spent the first half of the day doing his freelancing job and earning money. For the second half of the day, Anon worked on the house. 
The work on the house was slow because Anon constantly turned down help. Despite living practically next door to the ponies for almost three months, Anon didn't trust them. He didn't even trust Twilight or her friends. Anon noticed that he had the same ponies asking him to do small tasks that they could do themselves. They were using him, and Anon recognized this almost immediately. To him, these ponies were the same as humans, minus the species difference. What was worse was that the "customers" underpaid him. Very few of the ponies would pay him fairly. Anon didn't say anything about it because he needed the money, no matter the amount. However, the level of trust went both ways. When Anon worked at another pony's house, they constantly checked on or watched him closely. Anon suspected their lack of trust was because of his initial entrance into Ponyville. Many ponies thought he was a monster from the Everfree forest or a spawn of Tartarus. They called him a "green monkey" or the "ape creature" behind his back. However, Anon could hear these demeaning whispers. 
During the three months, Anon took some time to learn about the world he landed in. One of the first things he knew was that Ponyville wasn't the only town in Equestria. Some cities are familiar to him, but they had horse-centered names, like Manehattan, San Franciscolt, Vanhoover, and others. There isn't a Washington D.C., but a Canterlot is this dimension's version of Camelot. Much like D.C., it is the capital of the country. Anon also found out that Twilight wasn't the only princess in Equestria. Two lived in the city of Canterlot, and another lived with her husband in the city-state called the Crystal Empire. Anon learned that the currency used in Equestria is called a bit, not a dollar. The money looks like ancient Greek coins. The ponies didn't use paper bills. Anon kept his dollar bills, just in case. 
Twilight Sparkle noticed a couple of things during the past few months. When Anon moved his building supplies, he'd move them without help, even if they were heavy. He often made several trips and breaks. She concluded that it was his stubborn and self-reliant nature. Another thing that Twilight noticed was that Anon didn't make any effort to get to know anypony. He usually kept to himself and only interacted with ponies when doing business with them. This concerned her as the Princess of Friendship, which Anon laughed at. When Twilight tried talking to him when he was alone, he'd snap at her and say something rude. He had his usual blank stare, but his words showed that he was bitter and cold-hearted. 
This went on for too long. Twilight decided to call on her former mentor and fellow princesses, Princess Celestia and her sister Princess Luna. They agreed to come to Ponyville to help Anonymous. 
It is a warm Saturday afternoon. Twilight waits patiently for Princesses Celestia and Luna just outside her castle. Her assistant, Spike, stands by her side. Unlike Twilight, Spike waits impatiently. The Princesses are late, and it is rare for the two to be late.
"Are you sure they're coming?" Spike asks. 
"Yes, I'm sure. Princess Celestia and Luna made a promise that they'd come. Although, they aren't usually late," Twilight says. "I wonder what's keeping them." 
Just as Twilight stops speaking, she sees the Royal Chariot emerge from a cloud, pulled by four pegasi guards. Their golden armor sparkles in the sun, and their blue plumes add to their appearance. It was only a few moments before they landed. 
The princesses exit the oversized chariot. Twilight and Spike bow as the princesses approach. The taller alicorns bow, as well. 
"Princess Celestia, it's good to see you again," Twilight says as she rises. 
Celestia smiles with the motherly smile she's known for. 
"Come on, Twilight. You can drop the professionalism since we are not on a 'professional diplomatic mission,'" Celestia announces tenderly. 
Twilight and Celestia embrace in a hug. Then, Twilight releases Celestia and hugs Luna. 
She releases Luna, and they begin walking toward Anonymous's house. The guard ponies remove their reins. Then, they grab large spears that resemble dory spears from the chariot and get into a two-by-two formation behind the princesses. They march at attention but are ever vigilant, watching for potential threats. 
"Twilight, I have a question about this Anonymous fellow," Luna says, "Is he a threat to anypony or Equestria?" 
"No, he's not a threat to anypony. At least he hasn't shown any threatening behavior," Twilight replies. "Although, he always carries an abnormally large knife with him." 
Celestia can almost sense her guards tense up at the mention of the knife. She knows the guards are trained to protect the princesses at all costs. They are trained to fight almost every creature in Equestria and the surrounding nation. However, they aren't prepared to fight unknown species.
The group walks in silence the rest of the way. Soon, the group sees the shack that Anon calls home. 



Anon is working on his workbench. A beer bottle is sitting next to a toolbox. He measures a wooden plank with a tape measure and marks it with his pencil. Anon begins sawing where he had drawn on the plank. The porch in front of his house needed repairs badly, so he dedicated the entire day to the project. He is focused on sawing but not enough to where he hears multiple hoofsteps from behind him. 
"Good afternoon, Anon," Twilight chirps. 
"What is it this time?" Anon asks. He doesn't even bother turning around. 
"I want you to meet some ponies that are friends of mine." 
Anon sighs. This isn't Twilight's first attempt to introduce him to ponies while working on a project. This irritates Anon.
"Twilight, can't you see I'm-" Anon turns around but comes almost face-to-face with Princess Celestia. 
"Anonymous, allow me to introduce to you Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and Princess Luna, Princess of the Moon," Twilight says as she gestures her hoof at the taller alicorns. 
Anon crosses his arms and leans against the workbench. 
He looks at Princess Celestia up and down. Anon is about six feet and three inches tall, and Celestia is about an inch taller than him, minus her horn. Celestia is tall enough to where Anon looks her directly in the eye. However, Princess Luna is shorter than her sister. Anon estimates she's under six feet. Despite being taller than everyone else, Anon could see other differences between the taller alicorns. The colors on their bodies represent what they were the princesses of. Celestia is the day, and Luna is the night. Another thing Anon noticed is that Celestia and Luna's manes billowed as if the wind were blowing them. Anon doesn't feel any wind, so he assumes magic is causing that effect. 
Princess Celestia takes a particular interest in the human. His body characteristics slightly resembled a monkey's. Two arms and two legs, and that is pretty much it. Celestia noticed the human had little hair on his body. There was a small amount on his arms, head, and face. The human was muscular by pony standards. Celestia silently admits that this Anonymous person was slightly attractive for a non-pony. 
After observing the princesses, Anon spots Spike standing beside Twilight, as he usually did with her. 
"Hey, kid," Anon says. 
"Hi, Anon," Spike replies. 
Twilight looks at Spike in utter shock. 
"How's life treating you?" Anon asks. 
"I can't complain," Spike answers back. 
"Same here, buddy." 
After speaking to Spike, Anon's eyes wander over to the four guards behind the princess. To him, the guards resemble Spartan hoplites, save for the body armor. Their spears and swords also looked Spartan. Anon smirks as he grabs his beer bottle. He takes a sip and points the bottle at the guards.  
"Didn't think I was that dangerous," Anon points out. 
"It's just a formality, Mr. Anonymous," Princess Celestia announces. 
"Please, drop the title, Your Highness." 
"Alright, Anonymous," Celestia says. "Twilight tells me that you are from another dimension." 
Anon nods his head as he takes another sip of his beer. 
"My dimension is similar, besides the anthropomorphic ponies and some technology 2,000 years behind. Seriously, the technology in my world would make Twilight drool. I'm not blowing hot air, either." 
Luna looked over at Twilight, who had a confused face. More than likely, at Anon's comment. She had to admit that the statement was funny. Luna chuckles silently.
"For the record, Anon, I know what your technology is like. Remember, I told you that we have a world similar to yours, " Twilight announces.
Anon shrugs his shoulders.
"I would like to hear about this technology your world possesses," Celestia admits.
"I'd like to, but I can't. I've got to finish this project by nightfall," Anon says as he points his beer bottle at the broken-apart porch. 
"Would this evening be a convenient time?" Luna asks. "We are having dinner at Twilight's castle with her friends." 
Anon rubs his chin and considers it. Then, he looks at Luna. 
"It depends if I finish my project before then," he says. "Can't make any promises, though." 
"Could I leave my guards here to assist you with the project's completion?" Celestia offers. Anon furrows his eyebrows. 
"Hard pass. This is strictly a solo mission. I don't need anyponies to help." 
Anon curses himself silently for using Equestrian terminology. Those words that have "pony" in them instead of "body or "one" irritates him. None of the ponies know this, of course. 
"Anon, that looks like-" Twilight begins to speak, but Anon holds up a hand to silence her. His infamous blank stare causes her to shudder. 
"I don't think you remember our conversation about helping me when I didn't ask for it." Anon turns to Celestia. "I appreciate the offer, but I politely decline." 
Princess Celestia is confused. Never has she seen a pony turn down help, especially with a difficult task such as a reconstruction project. Then again, Anonymous isn't a pony. Human characteristics, personality traits, and whatnot aren't exactly sought-after subjects since humans didn't come to Equestria. Anything about the human species in Equestrian books is based on theories or speculation. Celestia makes a mental note to research her little information on humans. 
Twilight sighs as she shakes her head and motions for the group to follow her. She is disappointed that this introduction didn't go according to plan, as did the rest. She couldn't understand why Anon acted this way when she tried to introduce him to somepony. His behavior reminds Twilight of the griffin's behavior.
"Princess Celestia, permission to speak freely," one of the guards asks once they are out of Anon's earshot.
"Go ahead, Sergeant Bronze Shield," Celestia permits.
"I think I speak for everypony when I say that the human had no excuse for dismissing you, Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight like that, much less speaking to you with such disrespect." 
"I concur, Sister. Anonymous may be new to Equestria, but he needs to learn to respect royalty," Luna growls. 
"Anon seems okay to me," Spike pipes up. 
The princesses look at Spike. 
"I've talked to Anon before today, and he seems nice. His taste for alcohol is hard to get past, though," Spike continues. 	
"I still agree with Sergeant Shield," Luna says. 
"When a creature acts that way, it's usually due to internal pain. A past trauma, if you will. That could be why Anonymous is anti-social and rude when somepony talks to him," Celestia explains. 
"I wonder why he was nice to Spike," Twilight wonders aloud. 
Celestia wonders the same thing. She begins thinking of the possibilities that could answer the question. Perhaps it is Spike's childlike size, disposition, and innocence. Maybe Anonymous attempted to be friends with somepony. Somebody, in this case. The first meeting between the two could provide a clue. 	
"Spike, do you mind telling us how you first met Anonymous?" Princess Celestia asks. 
Spike scratches his head and recalls a month ago when he crossed paths with Anon. 




One month ago

Anon walks out of the tavern, clutching a small bottle of bourbon. His throat burns a little from knocking back one too many tequila shots. He is slightly more buzzed but has enough awareness to know his way back home. 
This night has been like every Friday night since Anon arrived in Equestria. After a hard week's work, he would go to the local tavern called Hard Cider's Watering Hole and guzzle a few beers or whatever drink he felt like having. The bar reminds Anon of an old west saloon, minus the consistently playing piano, gunslingers, and scantly dressed women. Anon became a regular there, and almost everypony in the tavern wanted to drink with him. Although, he didn't particularly like being surrounded by drunken stallions and mares. 
Anon walks by Sugar Cube Corner and sees the owners closing up the store. He is tempted to make a last-minute stop to grab a cake or pie but decides against it. A few ponies make their way down the street but steer clear of Anon. This confuses him because, after two months, he would expect them to be less afraid of him. Maybe they could smell the alcohol on his breath and know someone under the influence doesn't react well if provoked. Or his less-than-famous entrance in Ponyville might also have something to do with it. 
His train of thought is interrupted when he hears a voice call out. 
"Umm...excuse me, Anonymous." 
Anon looks around and sees a small dragon, a drake, walking up to him. 
"Can I help you?" Anon asks as his hand rests on his knife hilt. 
"I...just wanted to introduce myself," the drake says. He extends a hand. "I'm Spike, Princess Twilight's assistant." 
Anon squats down, takes his hand off of his knife, and shakes Spike's hand. He's impressed by Spike's firm grip. 
"How did you know my name? Wait...don't tell me. Twilight," Anon says. 
"You got it." 
"I knew it." Anon rubbed his chin and looked Spike up and down. "Twilight's assistant, huh? I'm sorry." 
"What's that supposed to mean?" 
"Do her nosy questions ever bother you?" 
"I've known her all my life, so I guess I've gotten used to it." 
"Hm. Easier said than done. I swear to God; she's more nosy than Pinkie Pie," Anon announces. 
"Nosier than Pinkie? I'd have to disagree with you there."
"Fair enough. You know them better than I do." 
An awkward pause follows. 
"So, how do you like it here in Equestria?" Spike asks. 
Anon rubs his chin.
"Equestria is better than my world, that's for sure," Anon admits. 
"Does your family miss you? You've been here a long time."
Anon's mood changes from calm to angry in an instant. 
"Hell, if I know. I sincerely doubt they miss me if I'm being honest," Anon says a bit too forcefully. 
"Why wouldn't they miss you?"
As Twilight usually did, Anon is tempted to snap at Spike for asking prying questions about his family. However, Spike had only asked two questions about his family, not a few hundred. He didn't use indirect questions to trick Anon into talking about his family or past. Spike doesn't know. So, Anon responds like he answered the first time Twilight asked about his history. 
"That's none of your damn business," Anon says coldly. His piercing blank stare sends chills down Spike's spine. 
"I'm sorry. I was just curious," Spike apologizes. 
"Apology accepted, kid," Anon's mood changes quickly from angry to calm. He stands up and studies Spike for a second. Perhaps this drake isn't like the ponies that dominate the town. He's better."You know what, kid? You're alright. That's more than I can say than some people around here." 
"How so?" 
"For example, Twilight is a pain in the ass. Her questions push more boundaries than a nosy neighbor. What's more annoying is when she keeps shoving her friends down my throat. Pinkie is like a kid who has ADHD that ate an entire bag of rock candy. A gallon-sized bag, to be more specific. Rainbow Dash is on the verge of getting prank war declared on her." 
Anon's comments make Spike nervous. He worries about hearing a negative comment about a particular mare but asks anyway. 
"What about Rarity?" Spike asks, attempting to sound casual. 
"Rarity? She's okay. She made me a pair of shorts after I washed her windows. Rarity said it was a payment," Anon replies. "Why do you ask?" 
Spike blushes. "No reason."
Anon rolls his eyes. He knows the reason why. 
"I did catch her gawking at me when I had my shirt off on that hot day two weeks ago. That was an awkward conversation." 
Spike's calm demeanor immediately goes into shock. Rarity was eyeing the human. It would not be very good if Rarity and Anon got together. Tartarus would be Paradise compared to that situation.
Anon sees the shock on Spike's face. He shakes his head but with a smile on his face. 
"If it's any consolation to you, Rarity isn't anywhere near my type, both species and personality-wise. I can't stand a girl who stands in front of a mirror for thirty minutes and pays a fortune for a stupid pedicure," Anon says. 
"There's nothing wrong with that," Spike announces slightly defensively. 
"You've been hanging around girls too much. Tell you what, come by my house tomorrow morning, say at 9:00 am, and I'll show you what guys do for fun." 
"Uh...okay. I'm sure Twilight won't mind if I take the morning off." 
Anon turns around and looks at the sun. It's just below the horizon. The sky is a mixture of pink, purple, and orange. The streets turn almost black. The only thing lighting the roads is the full moon and a few lamposts. Anon decides it's time to return home. 
"Hey, listen. I need to get home, but it was a pleasure talking to you, Spike," Anon announces as he faces Spike. 
"I need to get back to the castle, anyway. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Anon," Spike says. "Can I call you Anon?" 
"Sure. Everyone does. You can probably guess who gave me the nickname."
Spike nods his head. The two wave as they go their separate ways. 




Present
  
Spike finishes his story about his first meeting with Anon. By this time, the small group has reached the castle and is in Twilight's private library. The guards stand just outside the door. The princesses and Spike sit on giant beanbags to support the larger alicorns. 
When Spike finished his story, Princess Luna was the first to speak. 
"It sounds like the alcohol was talking instead of Anonymous," Luna says coldly. 
"I don't think so. From what Spike had described, Anon wasn't drunk. He was more or less buzzed," Twilight replies. 
"Alcohol still affects the mind, Twilight, even after a glass or two." 
"Don't be so skeptical, Luna. Maybe he was being friendly." 
"My point still stands," Luna crosses her forelegs. "What do you think, Sister?" 
Princess Celestia doesn't hear Luna. She's deep in thought. In Twilight's letter she sent a week ago, Anon was described as rude, irritable, and unfriendly, much like Discord before his reformation. The Anonymous that Spike told was the polar opposite of the one in Twilight's letter. But one thing remained the same, Anonymous's mood changed when his past or family was asked about. However, there is one minor detail that bothered her. In Spike's story, Anonymous mentioned that Twilight's questions pushed personal boundaries and that she was forcing friends on him. From what she's seen, Spike never did that to Anonymous. Celestia finally found the answer she is looking for. Now, there is another problem that needs addressing. However, Celestia's concentration is broken when a blue hoof waves in front of her face.
"Are you alright, Tia?" Luna asks with some concern in her voice. Celestia blinks her eyes rapidly. 
"Yes, Thank you. Lulu. I was thinking about our previous question. I do believe I have an answer for it," Celestia says. 
She explains the answer. When Celestia finishes, she turns to Twilight to fix the new problem. 
"Is what Anon said true? Were you asking him questions that pushed boundaries and forced friends on him?" Celestia asks sternly. 
"Anon exaggerated a little, but yes. I couldn't find out why he was so reclusive, so I asked him some questions. The only thing I got was the cold shoulder or getting a rude comment. When he didn't try to make friends, I thought introducing him to a few ponies would help. As you can tell, that hasn't worked at all," Twilight explains. 
Celestia rubs her muzzle with her hoof and closes her eyes. 
"Twilight, we've talked about this. Creatures have boundaries, and when pushed, they tend to get bent out of shape," Celestia addresses. "You must also realize that Anonymous isn't used to friendship being magic, so making friends may not come easy to him. Therefore, making friends will take longer than expected, or he'll make friends independently, as he's done with Spike."
Twilight is silent for a moment. Then, she speaks. 
"I'm sorry, Celestia. I didn't realize that trying to help Anon. I was causing him to push everypony away. I just wanted to help him adjust to life here in Equestria," Twilight says. She hangs her head. 
"I think that apology is heartfelt, Twilight, I do. However, I am not the one you should be apologizing to. Anon was wronged," Celestia tells Twilight. 
"I'll tell him when he comes to dinner tonight." 
"If he shows up," Luna grumbles. 



That evening, Anon stands in front of his woodstove, cooking his favorite soup, which is broccoli and cheddar soup. The soup bubbles as it reaches Anon's desired warmth. He removes the large pot and sets it on a metal rack on the table. He takes a spoon and dips some of the soup into a small wooden bowl. Then, Anon takes a slice of bread, lays it next to his spoon, and pours a small glass of water. Then, he bows and says a prayer to the Virgin Mary.
Anon used to pray a lot more when he was younger. However, praying didn't become a daily routine when he moved out of his parent's house. He only prays when he remembers to. This night was one such night. 
When he finishes praying, Anon begins to eat his soup. He gets about three spoonfuls in when he hears a knock on the door. Anon scrunched his eyebrows and looked at the door—the second series of knocking sounds. Anon grumbles to himself as he gets up. He opens the door and gets a surprising sight. The ponies that came to his house earlier are standing at the door. 
"What are you doing here?" Anon asks, trying to sound polite. 
"You didn't come to the castle for dinner, so we came to check on you," Celestia explains. 
"Not to be rude, but I don't think you remember that I said I couldn't make any promises about coming to supper at the castle. My appearance would be based upon the timing of the completion of my project," Anon explains. "Hence us standing here and not at the castle." 
They stand silent until Princess Celestia catches a whiff of Anon's soup. She looks past Anon and spots the large pot on the table. 
"What kind of soup is that?" she asks curiously. 
"Broccoli and cheddar," Anon responds. "Come on in and have some. I'm going to assume you've already had supper, though?" 
"Just a light one. I still have some room, though," Twilight admits. The same happened with Spike and Luna. 
Anon motions for the group to come inside the house. The guards try to stay outside, but Anon insists they come in. They walk inside and head into the dining room. 
"You may have to cast a duplication spell on the bowls, spoon, and chairs. I typically don't get visitors, so I didn't buy multiple sets," Anon says. 
"How did you know that we could do that?" Luna asks suspiciously. 
Anon shrugs. "Lucky guess." 
Princess Celestia casts the spell, and eight chairs, spoons, and bowls appear. After that, Anon dips the soup into the bowls with a spoon. While the ponies eat the soup, Anon walks over to the cupboard and pulls out a medium-sized bottle of bourbon and two small glasses. He sets the glasses on the table and pours some into them. He pushes a glass toward Luna. 
"A little pony told me that you have a taste in alcoholic beverages," Anon tells Luna. He sits down in his chair.
"And who told you that?" Luna asks as she takes the glass up in her magic. She looks at the dark liquid closely.
"The biggest loudmouth in Equestria," Anon responds. 
"Lady Rainbow Dash?" Luna is unamused. 
"Bingo." Anon snaps his fingers and points a finger gun at Luna. 
Anon picks up his glass and toasts to good health. Luna and Anon knock back the drinks. Luna's eyes bulge. Everypony watches Luna begin to wince as the liquid burns down her throat. Although it isn't the most vital thing she's drunk, this drink is strong enough to give her an instant buzz.
"What the hell was that?" Luna asks. Anon cracks a smile at Luna's use of a curse word. "It had the smoothness of bourbon but the buck of vodka.  
"It's bourbon, but I added a little tequila to give it that kick," Anon replies. "Did you like it, though?" 
"I must admit, it's better than ponies' other concoctions." 
"I'll take it." 
Anon offers some to Princess Celestia, who declines, as do Twilight and the guards. Celestia explains that the guards are not allowed to drink on the job. Then, Anon and Luna start a conversation about alcoholic beverages and, strangely enough, about the Equestrian Armed Forces. 
The group talks as they go through several servings of the soup. Princess asks Anonymous some questions to show Twilight how to ask questions without being prying or pushing boundaries. However, the primary reason is to get to know Anonymous better. Much to everyone's surprise, Anon answers the questions without being snarky or rude. 
When the conversations begin to die, Celestia looks at Twilight, saying, "It's time." 
Twilight immediately gets nervous, but Celestia has that motherly look in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and faces Anon. 
"Anon," Twilight says. 
" 'Sup," Anon replies. 
"I owe you an apology," Twilight takes another deep breath and continues. "I'm sorry for trying to pry into your personal life. I didn't realize that talking about your past was sensitive to you. I'm also sorry for trying to force ponies on you so you could make friends. I didn't see how my actions were affecting you. I hope you can accept my apology and forgive me." 
Anon glares at Twilight with a blank stare. He crosses his arms. 
"I accept your apology, Twilight, but forgiving you will take some time." Anon leans forward and speaks coldly. "Taking time to forgive you may seem stupid and unnecessary, but it isn't to me. You asked questions about a topic I didn't feel comfortable talking about. Even this conversation borders on my comfort zone. If we were close friends, I wouldn't have had a problem sharing that stuff with you, but we aren't. I don't want my insecurities or things like that getting out because, from what I've seen, ponies are almost exactly like humans. They will gossip, say things behind my back, and spread rumors that aren't true. That severely pisses me off behind comprehension. However, you scored a few brownie points by having the audacity to apologize.". Anon stands up, walks to the front door, and opens it. "I need some air. I'll be right back." 
Anon closes the door and sits in a chair on the reconstructed porch. Not long after Anon sits down, Princess Celestia walks onto the patio. She sits down on the porch next to Anon. They sit in silence for a few minutes. It's so quiet that Anon can hear every move and breath Celestia takes. 
He looks over at the white alicorn. She is as majestic and beautiful as the ponies of Ponyville had described her. Well, a little less if Anon is being honest with himself. The ponies made Celestia and Luna out to be goddesses. When he met them that afternoon, they weren't goddesses. They were just royals with godlike powers.
"You're different than I expected you to be," Anon says. 
Celestia turns her head and meets Anon's gaze. "How so?" she asks. 
"You don't treat me like the ponies around here. They treat me like I'm some monster, yet you treat me with kindness. I expected you to be like an over-pampered, know-it-all goddess or something to that effect," Anon explains. "Why do you treat me with kindness?"
"My response is, do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 
Then, Anon feels guilt course through his body. He remembers that phrase from Mass when he was younger. However, Anon remembers how he treated the ponies rudely simply because he wanted to be alone. Anon dislikes Twilight, but he knows he could've treated her nicely. "Now, I feel like an asshole. I've been rude to many ponies lately and have no excuse. I'm no more innocent than Twilight is." 
"It's understandable to feel that way, Anonymous. When Mother told me that phrase as a filly, it convicted me in more ways than you realize. It's good to be convicted of a transgression because you recognize that what you did was wrong. Your anger and hostility possibly turned away potential friends, but the good thing is that it's not too late. You just got off on the wrong hoof, that's all. For example, Luna didn't like you at first, but after your conversation with her about alcoholic beverages and the military, I think she's warmed up to you." 
"My parents always told me that I was an acquired taste."
Celestia is confused. 
"I thought you didn't like talking about your family," Celestia says. 
"I don't. I told you that because you're different from everyone else, there's another reason why you're different. You took the time to get to know me. You asked the usual 'get to know you' questions and listened to my responses. Very few people have done that. I'm trying to say that you gained my trust, and I don't trust many people. As if it wasn't obvious." 
"Thank you, Anonymous. I appreciate that. Honestly, I think you're a kind stall...er...human. I believe the Anonymous I saw tonight is true, not the one the ponies think you are." 
The two sit silently for a moment before Anon turns to Celestia again.
"Speaking of getting off on the wrong foot, would it be possible if we started over? I was an asshole earlier this afternoon, and I apologize," Anon says. 
"That sounds like a wonderful idea, and I accept your apology," Celestia replies. 
Anon awkwardly sticks out his hand for Celestia to shake. He smiles a nervous smile. 
"Hi, I'm Anonymous, but ponies around here call me Anon," Anon greets. 
Celestia sets her hoof in Anon's hand and smiles a friendly smile. The two shake hands, or whatever you would call it.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anon. I am Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun and co-ruler of Equestria. However, my friends call me Tia."