Tuesday July 28th 1992, 6:00am, The Burrow, Ottery St Catchpole, Devon
The early morning light was just beginning to peep through the curtains of the Crusaders' bedroom at the Burrow as something started to constantly tickle Scootaloo’s nose.
“Apple Bloom quit it; it’s my birthday,” Scootaloo grumbled sleepily turning over in her bed to try to get away from her friend’s attempt at waking her up.
“Huh, what?” Apple Bloom said from her own bed. She had slowly been waking up for the past half an hour and Scootaloo’s unexpected outburst had brought her around into full consciousness. Letting out a yawn Apple Bloom sat up in her own bed and turned her head in Scootaloo’s direction wondering just what her friend was yammering about this time.
Her eyes shot open when she saw the fluffy grey tail with black splotches that was playfully tickling Scootaloo’s nose and she instinctively pulled her hands from underneath her duvet and rubbed her eyes to see if she were dreaming. The tail remained. She wasn’t dreaming.
“What in Equestria?” she exclaimed in complete and utter astonishment still rubbing her eyes not believing what she was seeing. “Scootaloo, you’re going to want to see this.”
“Ugh, really Bloom? I know it’s you. Can’t my birthday surprise wait a few hours? I’m tired,” Scootaloo grumbled in reply. “I know its you…” she got no further as Apple Bloom shoved her out of her bed. She landed on the hard wooden floor with an almighty thump.
“Apple Bloom, what gives?” Scootaloo exclaimed angrily jumping up from the floor and glowering at her friend.
Apple Bloom simply pointed at something next to her.
“Ugh, this had better be good or I am going to…” Scoootaloo paused mid-sentence as she came face to face with the tail that was extending from her back. It then proceeded to poke her nose.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Scootaloo deadpanned unamused at being woken up so early on her birthday. “Prank the birthday girl for a laugh and…”
“We planned to chuck a bucket of tree sap and feathers over you,” Apple Bloom interrupted pointing to a large sack at the end of Sweetie’s bed and a bucket. “That’s why we volunteered to help Molly clean the chicken coop yesterday. Besides, even if Sweetie has that permit to use her horn out of school, I doubt she would be able to cast something so advanced. And you know I wouldn’t risk expulsion and having my wand confiscated by using magic outside of school. So, this has absolutely, one hundred percent, nothing in any shape or form to do with me or Sweetie,” she said seriously giving Scootaloo a look the other girl knew all too well.
“You mean?”
“Eeeyup,” Apple Bloom replied as she slowly edged closer to her pranking material.
“Shit,” Scootaloo muttered as Apple Bloom covered her and her newly acquired tail in tree sap and feathers.
“Happy Birthday Chickenloo!” Apple Bloom exclaimed unable to hold back the laughter.
*
Although she was used to the bizarre and extraordinary in her house by now with the troublesome twosome, even Molly had, momentarily, been taken by surprise by the giant chicken with a leopard’s tail that was entering one of the bathrooms, with emphasis on momentarily. Her next course of action had been to head straight to her niece and her friends’ bedroom.
Sweetie and Bloom, who were struggling to get ready themselves because they were laughing so much, were about to be caught totally off-guard by a very loud knock upon their bedroom door.
“Who is it?” Apple Bloom queried before adding, “We’re getting dressed.”
The door promptly opened a little way to allow Molly’s head to appear through it.
Both girls gulped. Molly did not look pleased.
“Apple Bloom, I expect you to be downstairs in no more than five minutes to help with breakfast. Sweetie, you shall reverse whatever magic you used to grow that tail and be on washing up duty this morning as well. You had just better hope I don’t get a letter from the Ministry about improper magic use or I’ll be confiscating that wand of yours for the remaining duration of the summer,” Molly reprimanded sternly. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve…”
“But I didn’t use any magic Molly,” Sweetie interjected feeling aggrieved. “I’ll confess to the feathers and tree sap but neither of us had anything to do with the tail.”
“Really?” Molly replied disbelievingly. “Well, she didn’t just wake up with it now, did she?”
“That’s exactly what happened. I was just waking up when I heard her talking in her sleep and when I turned my head to see what she was going on about, there it was. We were just thinking about sending a letter to Discord when you knocked. On my parents’ graves I swear that’s the truth,” Apple Bloom replied.
Molly’s eyes went wide. She knew that Apple Bloom was the one to target when the girls were up to something or had done wrong and were refusing to admit it. The girl simply could not lie even if her life depended on it.
“I apologise Sweetie for my hasty accusations but you shall still be on washing up duty this morning for covering my niece in tree sap and feathers. I also expect you to write that letter to her father posthaste,” Molly said regretfully.
“Of course,” Sweetie replied as she finished pulling on a yellow skirt.
“Excellent. Now, I see you are nearly ready Apple Bloom so come along; we’ve breakfast to make and I’m already behind due to this little diversion,” Molly stated before pulling her head from the doorway not waiting for Apple Bloom to follow.
*
Ron’s feet thundered down the stairs as he made his way to the kitchen for breakfast, the heavenly smells wafting up from the kitchen having slowly awoken him from his slumber and forcing him out of bed.
“Happy birth…” he began to exclaim as he entered the kitchen seeing Scootaloo already sat at the table with her friends. He stopped mid-greeting upon seeing the tail that now protruded from her back. “Woah, what’s with the tail?” he exclaimed.
“Ronald!” Molly said sternly turning from where she was finishing up the breakfast preparations. “That was very rude of you. Apologise to your cousin immediately or you can go straight back to your room for the rest of the day.”
“It’s fine Aunt Molly,” Scootaloo interjected before Ron could reply. “Frankly, I’ve no idea. It had just appeared when I woke up this morning and we’ve no idea why or how to get rid of it,” Scootaloo explained in between munching on a sausage sandwich. “Sweetie’s sent Discord a letter asking for his help but we’re unsure when he’ll get back to us.”
And that was obviously when a loud knock came from the front door.
“Odds of that being Discord?” Apple Bloom deadpanned to Sweetie next to her.
“Of course,” Sweetie responded as Scootaloo finished her sausage sandwich, rose from her seat and made her way to the front door to see if it was her father.
Unlike her friends, Scootaloo wasn’t so sure. Knocking wasn’t her father’s usual M.O. He would more than likely have just dropped in in the middle of breakfast unannounced. Oh well, there was only one way of finding out who the mystery guest was. She reached out, pulled open the front door and immediately found something flying at her squealing like an insane lunatic. As it wrapped its arms around her in a tight hug Scootaloo stumbled and then fell onto her back, taken by surprise by the unexpected force that had hit her.
“Pinned you!” Hermione giggled sitting atop Scootaloo’s stomach and holding the other girl’s arms down by her sides.
“Hello Hermione,” Scootaloo deadpanned as a smile slowly grew upon her face. “I’ve missed you too. Mind letting me up though? I was in the middle of breakfast and this position is rather uncomfortable.”
“Make me.” Hermione giggled refusing to budge from her position atop Scootaloo’s stomach.
“Well, that’s a little difficult considering you are pinning my arms down by my sides but if you insist,” Scootaloo finished devilishly.
Scootaloo managed to squeeze her tail out from underneath her and flashed it in front of her girlfriend’s eyes.
“What the?” Hermione said in complete confusion as Scootaloo’s tail brushed her nose. Her eyes started to glaze over as the fluffy appendage danced tantalisingly in front of her face. “So fluffy,” she said distantly as she released Scootaloo’s arms and instead grabbed a hold of the tail.
Scootaloo equally grabbed a hold of the opportunity. Within a flash she had turned the tables on Hermione.
“Pinned ya!” Scootaloo giggled mercilessly with Hermione now struggling underneath her.
“No fair! Who told you my biggest weakness is fluffy things? And where did it come from anyway?” Hermione grumbled from beneath Scootaloo.
“Oh, my tail? No idea. It appeared overnight. We’re awaiting on Discord to arrive and hopefully provide some more information on it. And thanks for the info on your biggest weakness; that’ll come in mighty handy in future along with the information I gathered over the last year on your other weakness,” Scootaloo replied, her grin practically taking over the whole of her face.
“Wait; backtrack a moment. Did you just say you’ve got…” Hermione began only to be abruptly cut off as Scootaloo began to relentlessly tickle her. “Haahhahahahahahahahah, no, mercy, please, stop that, hahaha,” she wailed struggling underneath Scootaloo.
“Oh no. You brought this on yourself,” Scootaloo replied grinning ear to ear refusing to let her girlfriend go. “Although, maybe I’d be willing to let you go for a birthday kiss?” Scootaloo added evilly as she paused in her playful torturing of Hermione and instead leant in and gave her girlfriend a passionate kiss.
The two girls' touching embrace after a month apart was not to last though.
“Although this is extremely touching and amusing, I need to speak to my daughter urgently. You two can snog each other’s brains out later,” Discord’s voice echoed from the front doorway as he used his magic to pry the two girls apart.
“Daaaaaaaaad!” Scootaloo whined as she was levitated against her wishes in front of her father.
Discord, for some strange reason, had started to mess about with her hair.
“I don’t believe it,” he muttered under his breath after a moment. “I don’t believe it,” he repeated.
“Don’t believe what?” Scootaloo asked her voice taking on a note of concern.
Discord continued without even acknowledging his daughter’s question. His voice was bubbling with happiness as he took Scootaloo in his arms and started to swing her around. “After more than a thousand years I’ve finally found another. You Scoti are a very, very special girl. You’re a draconequus. A natural born goddess of chaos and only the second draconequus to ever exist in any dimension after myself.”
Scootaloo’s left eye began to twitch and her mouth dropped open.
Hermione’s mouth did the same as she rose from the floor.
“SHE’S WHAT!” Molly roared appearing from the kitchen holding a frying pan. “You mister have some serious explaining to do,” she growled walking over to Discord and grabbing him by the ear before pulling him roughly back toward the kitchen with Scootaloo still in his arms. Hermione remembered to grab the presents they’d brought for Scootaloo from the front doorstep before she followed in a complete and utter daze.
*
Discord sat at the breakfast table calmly drinking a goblet of chocolate milk with a rather befuddled Scootaloo sitting across from him. Molly was leaning on the kitchen sink, frying pan still held tightly in her grasp.
“Start talking or I start whacking,” she growled flexing her arm.
“If I were you, I’d do as she says,” Arthur, sat next to Discord, leaned over and whispered into the draconequus’ ear. “You don’t want to see her when she gets really mad.”
“Certainly,” Discord replied calmly putting down the goblet of milk. “But first, Scoti, would you like some ketchup on your rice pops?”
“Sounds wonderful!” Scootaloo responded before realising just what she’d asked for as Discord proceeded to lean over and squirt said sauce onto her cereal. “Wait, why does that sound so delicious and so revolting at the same time?”
Discord answered his daughter’s question initially with a chuckle as he returned to his own seat. Then, in rather un-Discord fashion, he apologised to his adoptive daughter. “Sorry, I just wanted to be one hundred percent certain before we continued. “It’s Chaos my dear. Your changing tastebuds along with the tail now sticking out your rump and the unicorn horn that has just started to protrude from your skull, are all clear signs to me of draconequus puberty.”
“Draconequus puberty!” Scootaloo exclaimed her face going bright red in embarrassment as the twins broke out into snickers of amusement on one side of her. “And what do you mean I’ve got a damn antenna growing out of my flipping head?”
“Scoti language,” Molly scolded as Sweetie gave Scootaloo a reproachful look.
“I mean that between your fourteenth and sixteenth birthday you’ll most likely have a fully grown and working unicorn horn atop your head. At this point your magic will have fully developed into that of a being of chaos,” Discord explained before taking another sip from his goblet of chocolate milk.
“Meaning what exactly?” Molly pushed for an explanation before Scootaloo could.
“Firstly, that her magic might not always obey her command exactly, instead choosing a more unorthodox and chaotic outcome. For example, she might ask her magic for a bicycle to get from A to B but instead end up with a unicycle and dressed in a clown costume,” Discord answered.
“Or cast Avifors and get a bat instead of a bird,” Scootaloo added remembering a certain lesson from her first year that brought a smug smile to her lips as she briefly glanced to her left at Hermione.
“I told you never to bring up that incident again,” Hermione grumbled responding to Scootaloo’s glance with a glower.
“Just because we spent the remainder of the lesson trying to coax it out of your hair,” Scootaloo giggled along with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle upon remembering the lesson from the previous school year. The twins were also trying, and failing, to hide their snorts of amusement as the image lodged itself in their minds.
Discord coughed to bring his daughter’s attention back to him. “Precisely. And such events will only become more common as you get older until one day you find chaos is the norm. By this point I am hopeful that under my tutelage and guidance you will have learnt to control such magic as chaos magic is extremely powerful and difficult to handle, with only your mental strength and the golden rule limiting what you can cause.”
“The golden rule?” Scootaloo queried trying to take all of the information with which her father was peppering her.
“No negative chaos except in self-defence. Acts such as torture, murder, long term mind control and that used for nefarious means, necromancy and basically anything truly despicably evil,” Discord said gravely with a shudder of discomfort and disgust at even having to mention them.
“Okay. This is a Tartarus of a lot to take in but I’m kind of used to bombshells being dropped on me with you by now. Anything else I should know?” Scootaloo said rubbing her forehead feeling a headache coming along. Then, as if she’d just been hit with an anvil, something clicked in her brain. “Wait, you’re the god of chaos, right?”
“Correctamundo,” Discord replied finishing his goblet of chocolate milk and placing it down on the table.
“Does that mean I’m now a GOD?” Scootaloo exclaimed, eyes going wide.
“Hole in one. Immortal and practically invulnerable too,” Discord answered snapping two fingers on his right hand. A golf ball suddenly appeared in said hand which he threw nonchalantly over his shoulder.
Molly watched as the golf ball soared through the air and landed plumb in the plughole of the kitchen sink.
“That had better not block…” she began but stopped as a loud explosion rocked the pipes followed by a fountain of lime green liquid spouting out of the plughole. “Alright, that does it. Both of you,” she growled turning to Discord and her niece. “Here’s my golden rule. No chaos in the house or it's bread and water for every meal for a week for you Scoti and for you,” she pointed the frying pan at Discord only to suddenly find it had turned into a bunch of beautiful flowers. Molly raised her eyebrow momentarily before she placed the flowers down on the kitchen counter. “Bribery will get you nowhere but thank you anyway for the flowers. At least someone knows how to treat the lady of the house.” She sent an accusatory glare at her husband.
Arthur gulped, face going white. He hastily made to look at his wrist. “Is that the time. I’d better get to work.” He jumped up from his seat and rushed towards the fireplace.
“Have a great day dear!” Molly called in a sickly-sweet voice after her husband as he picked up some floo powder. “Oh, and your wrist watch is on your left not your right wrist, just in case you thought you’d lost it,” she cooed as Arthur began to vanish. She smiled wickedly as the last thing she saw was the look of alarm that had shot across her husband’s face.
Let him stew on that for the rest of the day she thought. Maybe he’d actually surprise her for once when he got home. Yes, she was aware they had a whole army of children to feed but it didn’t mean that just once a month he couldn’t surprise her with some chocolates or flowers or something special.
Seeing that the sink had stopped spraying whatever that liquid was everywhere, she turned her attention once more back to Discord and her niece, the latter of whom was repeating her earlier question after the brief interlude.
“So, anything else I should know father?”
“All in good time my dear daughter,” Discord replied cryptically. “You are only the second draconequus to ever exist after myself so this is somewhat new to myself.” He paused momentarily as he wiped an ice cube tear from his eye. “Some of the stuff that you’ll likely learn over the next few years includes, but is not limited to, teleportation and opening gateways between dimensions, using magic simply by snapping your fingers, possible loss and regrowth of body parts, growing new body parts, hypnotism, telep…” Discord rattled off casually one by one only to be halted abruptly by his daughter.
“Wait. Hold up. Backtrack a moment. Are you saying I’m going to lose more body parts! Haven’t I lost enough already?” Scootaloo groaned, not wanting to hear the answer.
In fact, she actually saw the answer before hearing it as the phrase Cannot predict now flashed across her vision.
Scootaloo groaned once more.
“In all honesty I can’t be sure as I’m currently the only draconequus I’ve ever known to exist. But, if you are anything like me, you probably have yet to achieve your true adult form and thus will likely lose another one or two more before you turn eighteen and regrow new ones of different beings. Remember, a draconequus is a magical being with no fixed form which means your true form could literally end up looking like anything.”
Scootaloo groaned for a third time looking towards the heavens until slowly she lowered her head and looked at her father once more. Seeking clarification, with a heavy sigh she replied, “So, by ‘true form’ I’m guessing that’s what, like, your form when we first saw you in Equestria and this human form you are in now is like a, what? Temporary disguise to fit in with everybody else?”
“To a degree, yes, although I’d prefer to class it as a variant form. This is something I am hopeful you will also learn to do over time but is though by far the most difficult magic for us to conquer. As you can see by the horns atop my head, even for an experienced draconequus such as myself perfection is not usually possible and some parts of your true self will remain. First however, you will need to learn the basics of such magic and only then can you attempt to fine tune and improve the accuracy of your variant forms. Understood?" Discord explained.
Scootaloo groaned for a fourth time. “This is giving me a mighty headache,” she grumbled slamming her head into the table before it almost instantaneously shot up again. “Wait? Rewind a minute. How can you be totally sure I’m a draconequus and that this isn’t some bizarre magical mishap? I know you said the tail and the changing tastebuds, but maybe this is some kind of magic flu or something I’m suffering from. Yeah, that’s more likely, isn’t it? Please tell me it is,” Scootaloo pleaded somewhat hysterically to her father, tears starting to well in her eyes.
Discord raised his right hand, “Four things.” His pinkie finger popped off, turned into a miniature version of himself and then ran away screaming across the kitchen table. Molly did not look at all pleased.
“What did I just tell you about chaos magic in this house mister?” she growled angrily grabbing a rather large butcher’s knife. “This is my house and if you will not abide by my rules, you and Scoti can go have this conversation in the pig sty out back. And that’s if I let you. I don’t take kindly to people who make my niece upset, especially on her birthday, understood?”
Discord gulped. If there was something even he was scared of, it was an angry housewife.
“Yes ma'am,” he squeaked in reply.
“Excellent, now, please do explain in a little more detail to us why you think Scoti is a draconequus."
“Well, firstly, it’s her magical aura,” Discord commenced only to be interrupted by Scootaloo.
“My magical what?” the young draconequus relied with a sniffle trying to wipe the tears from her face with her left hand.
“Your magical aura. Simply put, every creature has at least a tiny piece of magic inside of them that gives of a scent. Your magical aura or scent automatically drew me towards you and was the prime reason I initially saved you as a baby.” Discord paused his current explanation and rose from his chair. He slowly walked around the table until he was positioned just behind Scootaloo. Here he lowered his head to Scootaloo’s ear and said in a barely audible whisper, “Even I am not immune to loneliness. Thank you for everything,” as a genuine tear fell from his eye.
It was only there for a split second but Scootaloo saw it and in that second she realised just how much she now meant to her kooky adoptive father. In an instant Discord had returned back to his full height and was continuing his explanation.
“Ahem,” he coughed. “Where was I? Ah, yes, how I know Scoti is a draconequus part one: magical aura. Before you ask, no, her magical aura being very similar to my own is not enough to determine for sure she is a draconequus. I’ve had many, many false readings over the years to solely get my hopes up on that alone. The strawberry milkshake tears she’s just been crying again could be just coincidental and not causal, while… Scoti could you open your mouth for a moment.”
Scootaloo didn’t even ask why, she just did as she was told. Molly let out a gasp of shock. Hermione stared transfixed.
“Wow, you’ll soon be able to give your girlfriend a true love bite with those!” George quipped with a whistle receiving a stern glower from Molly for his efforts.
“What? What’s everyone staring at? I know I’ve had a bit of toothache recently and that’s made me a little grumpy on occasions but…” she stopped as Discord lowered a mirror in front of her face.
“Woah, are those real?” Scootaloo asked eyes going wide as she poked and prodded the two small fangs that were slowly starting to come through.
“Most definitely. Bat pony fangs if I’m correct. Be another month or two before they are fully grown,” Discord informed his daughter. “Remind me to give you something for them later. A grouchy draconequus with toothache is not to be trifled with. I’d tell you the story surrounding my own fang coming through but it’s your birthday and I feel the last thing you want to be doing is sitting around here all day. So how about I wrap this explanation for now, we finish breakfast and then go have some fun?”
Scootaloo was still busy examining her new fangs in the mirror and had only half heard what her father had said. “Huh, sorry, I was a little distracted. I just really like these fangs. They are going to look awesome when they come through!”
Discord chuckled. “I’m glad you like them,” he said with a warm smile across his face. “But if you want to know how I know for certain you are a draconequus you’ll put that mirror down for a moment.”
Scootaloo didn’t need telling twice, her attention immediately reverting back to her father as she placed the mirror down upon the kitchen table.
“I thought so although the answer is quite simple. Your tail. Mine also appeared overnight on my twelfth birthday. I think it is a coming-of-age thing for a draconequus. Obviously, there are only two of us in existence so I can’t be one hundred percent sure but when you combine that with all the other peculiar things happening with your body, I’d say the evidence is pretty conclusive.”
Discord snapped his fingers and a large iced cake appeared in front of Scootaloo. The words Congratulations on Being a Draconequus were written in pink icing on top. Next to the cake were two books. One was a thick tome titled, So, You’re a Draconequus by D.I. Scord, whilst the other was a slightly skinnier volume titled, How to Hypnotise your Girlfriend (and others) by D.I. Scord.
“I’ll be confiscating that,” Hermione growled swiftly pinching the second book before Scootaloo had a chance to pick it up, having read both titles over the other girl’s shoulder. “No way am I having you hypnotise me so you can get out of your tutoring sessions next year. Maybe if you’re good and obey your tutor we’ll have time for an extracurricular study session on the subject.”
“Daaaaaaaaaad,” Scootaloo whined as Hermione placed the confiscated book into a rucksack she had brought with her for the day. “Tell my girlfriend she can’t be stealing and blackmailing me with my own birthday presents.”
Discord meanwhile was rubbing his chin deep in thought. “Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that,” he commented. “Sorry Scoti, I will have to side with your girlfriend on this occasion. You will only have access to learning hypnotism as a reward for studying hard in your tutoring sessions. And you can stop with the puppy dog eyes. I invented that look and will not be persuaded by it.”
Scootaloo harrumphed, crossed her arms and pouted unhappily as a smug smile appeared on Hermione’s lips.
Discord couldn’t help let out another snort of amusement at his daughter’s disgruntled expression. “I thought you would have realised by now that pouting just makes you look extremely cute and adorable.”
Scootaloo immediately turned and gave her father a death glare strikingly similar to Molly’s.
Discord chuckled a little more nervously. “And I see you’ve inherited your aunt’s death glare.”
Scootaloo opened her mouth to snipe a retort back at her father but suddenly found her mouth zipped shut.
“Enough. I’ve a busy and fun day scheduled for us and thus need to hurry this along unless you would rather spend your birthday squabbling?” Discord said removing the zip from his daughter’s mouth and giving her an inquisitive look. Scootaloo gave her father one more defiant look before she lowered her head in defeat. “That’s what I thought. Now, that book you see in front of you contains many of my own personal experiences along with tips and tricks to help you control your magic and learn new things. Both are essential to a young draconequus’ development. Do not try them all at once and certainly don’t try some of the more advanced ones until you are older. I will help you traverse the dimensional plane when you are a little older. Promise me you will not even think about using your magic to travel between dimensions. Along with possibly ending up with body parts spread across several dimensions you could also end up trapped in some very dangerous dimensions, from deadly plagues that will keep killing you over and over again as you cannot die to blood thirsty monsters that not even you will be able survive if they catch you and rip you to shreds before I can find you and safely bring you home. So, Pinkie promise me you will not attempt to traverse dimensions without me accompanying you or until I say you are ready to do so by yourself,” Discord said in an unusually serious tone.
“You don’t need to tell me twice but as you’re probably well aware, chaos seems to follow me wherever I go,” Scootaloo answered gesturing a thumb in the direction either side of her at Hermione, Sweetie and Apple Bloom.
“Hey! I resent that. I’m the one who usually reels you in,” Hermione grumbled with a glower at her girlfriend.
“Calm down, I’m only teasing you,” Scootaloo replied with a giggle. “Although, technically you were the reason I ended up being brutally mutilated by an… Ow, Bloom, what, oh, my bad. Sorry Hermione, I didn’t mean…”
“No, you’re right,” Hermione sniffled wiping a tear from her eye. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have had to face down Quirrell last year. I-I-It was my fault you lost your eye.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “How many times do we have to go over this. It was my choice to follow you and if I hadn’t, well, I’d rather not think about it, especially on my birthday,” she finished with a shudder as a chill ran up her spine.
“Too right. Today’s a day of celebration, on two counts. Albeit, first I believe Dizzy Wizzy is still waiting for a certain promise Scootaloo.”
“GAH!” Scootaloo screamed looking up to see Pinkie Pie’s head poking out of a portal above her. After taking a few deep breaths Scootaloo said, “Pinkie, you nearly gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here anyway?”
“Duh silly, it’s your birthday and my body started doing all sorts of peculiar things to indicate something BIG was going down and that you were involved. I also had to drop of your birthday present from all of us so here I am,” Pinkie explained cheerfully. I really must agree with Dizzy though. Messing about in the multiverse is no place for someone as young and inexperienced as you.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. Cross my heart, I can fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I Scoti Alaw Prewett do Pinkie promise that no matter what I will not attempt to use my magic to transport to other dimensions without supervision or until Discord says otherwise,” Scootaloo conceded. “That good enough for you?”
“Excellent. Now I’ve just two more things to do before I head back to Equestria. “Firstly, your gifts from me and the girls.
Two neatly wrapped parcels topped by a baker’s dozen box of Pinkie’s finest cupcakes and a card floated down onto the table in front of Scootaloo.
“How? You know what, never mind. What’s this, GAH, Pinkie, haven’t you heard of personal space?” Scootaloo exclaimed suddenly finding the pink party pony’s face right in front of her own.
“Just a reminder,” Pinkie said in a thoroughly disturbing tone as for a blink and you’d miss it moment her eyes flashed red and her hair went flat. “A Pinkie promise is for life. You ever break that promise and blood thirsty monsters will be the least of your worries.”
“Yowch,” Scootaloo winced as from out of nowhere a knife made a small cut on her cheek. She gulped as Pinkie proceeded to lick the blade.
“This binds our contract,” the pink mare continued coldly before her hair returned to its usual messy state and she giggled, “Toodles, hope you like your gifts and enjoy the rest of your birthday!”
And with that Pinkie disappeared just as suddenly as she had appeared.
“What just happened?” Scootaloo queried as in a daze she picked up the card from the top of the pile and opened it. “You know what, never mind. I’ve learnt from experience it’s better for your sanity if you just don’t question anything Pinkie Pie does. Oh, neat a Wonderbolts…”
She stopped mid-sentence for the second time that morning as a lanyard with Wonderbolts insignia on it fell out of the card along with a note and into her lap. Attached to the lanyard was a pass that read Wonderbolts Private Royal Performance V.I.P All Areas Access Pass.
Every window in the Burrow shattered.
(END OF PART 1)
*
An hour and a half later Scootaloo groaned, face scarlet and head buried within her hands in total embarrassment, as Mr Weasley’s light blue automobile, with Discord at the wheel, raced along the main road at breakneck speed seemingly oblivious of all the other traffic. Whether her embarrassment was because she’d squealed so loudly and at such a frequency as to shatter every window in the Burrow or because Discord had then replaced them with stained glass windows featuring images from a book entitled The Pony Sutra: Mares Edition by M.O. Lestia was difficult to tell. Or maybe it was that the twins had gifted her said book for her birthday. Unsurprisingly, it had been promptly confiscated by Molly and then used to hit both Fred and George over the head with before they were sent back to their room. It could have also been down to the fact Discord had just informed her that he’d forgotten to mention the book on draconequus puberty he’d gifted her this morning also contained some explanations provided by Professor Sprout on more normal changes a girl her age suffers. Then there was also the fact Hermione had refused to let go of her tail ever since they’d entered the car and that Discord was taking them all to some gaudy amusement park run by wizards for the entertainment of young muggle and magical children alike, an amusement park that had bored Fred and George so much at age seven that they’d ended up getting the whole Weasley family banned. They’d started to recall the story, something to do with the magical zoo and fireworks, as they were sent to their rooms for what they’d bought Scootaloo for her birthday only for Molly to cast Silencio on them followed by Stikkende. Fred and George had hastily made their exit after the latter, practically falling over each other as they retreated up the stairs back to the safety of their room.
Highlights from Scootaloo’s other birthday gifts aside being Rainbow’s plus one to the private Wonderbolt’s show included a silver heart shaped locket from Hermione that held a picture of her girlfriend within it. Scootaloo had immediately added this to the gold chain and cutie mark pendant that already adorned her neck courtesy of Rainbow Dash the previous Christmas. Next up was a photo album documenting the Crusaders' participation at Rainbow's and Applejack's wedding from Applejack. Scootaloo had also been intrigued by her two best friends’ main gift, Quidditch: The Board Game, which she would much rather be playing right now than riding in this strange contraption awaiting the indignity of spending her twelfth birthday at a theme park predominately aimed at those under the age of ten. On the plus side, at least she got to spend it with her three best friends, as well as with Ginny, who was dressed as a princess, and Ron, whose new bright pink hairstyle disguise provided by Sweetie had given them all a good laugh before they’d left. This though did mean there were seven of them in total including her father. No, forget divination for the day; this was her birthday and she was going to make the most of it. She would ride the park’s rollercoaster multiple times, enjoy a whole load of sugary confections from the side stalls and explore the real ancient castle and its dungeons! And just in case things needed to be livened up a little bit, she had snuck her wand into her jacket pocket.
Slowly Scootaloo started to lift her head from her hands and allowed a smile to slowly grace her cheeks once more. Yeah, maybe her twelfth birthday wouldn’t be such a bust after…
“BLEGHHHHHHHHH” Sweetie groaned as her car sickness finally proved too much and she threw up her breakfast into a bucket next to Scootaloo.
And just like that, all of Scootaloo’s renewed optimism for her birthday day out disappeared in an instant.
*
Fifteen minutes later and, after a brief stop to dispose of Sweetie’s regurgitated breakfast via Scourgify, the small party had arrived at their destination and were currently waiting in one of three lines to enter the park. A huge arch with the words WELCOME TO CAMELOT! hung over ticket booths designed like castle turrets in front of them. From what Scootaloo could see, they were, by at least two or three years, the oldest visitors there aside from accompanying adults and a group of mentally handicapped teens in the queue next to them who were constantly pointing at Ron’s glittery pink hair, Sweetie’s horn, which had been decided didn’t need to be covered up as it simply would be seen by muggles as a child dressing up for the theme, and the fact Discord had changed his suit for that of the dress expected of a stereotypical wizard, blues robes and pointy hat with stars on both along with a long flowing white beard. He had even acquired an owl from somewhere that was asleep on his shoulder. And it wasn’t just the mentally handicapped teens who were giving them odd looks. Although they were trying to do it discreetly, many parents were giving them some peculiar glances whilst their children were a lot less discreet with their sniggers and pointing. Scootaloo was guessing this is what it must feel like for the poor animals in the zoo. She was just thankful her wings were tucked up safely beneath her oversized T-shirt along with her tail to avoid further embarrassment and that she had held her tongue on her father’s choice of clothing for this excursion as otherwise she would have more than likely ended up in a damsel in distress outfit similar to Ginny’s disguise as comedic punishment. It did not look at all comfortable to wear especially on a sweltering hot day in the middle of summer such as today and Ginny did not look happy herself with having to wear the garish pink princess costume as a precautionary disguise but had held her tongue so far. Ginny had been by far the most excited out of everybody in the car, happy just to get away from the Burrow and her overprotective mother for the day. For the past forty odd minutes in the car, she had been scrutinising the map of the park in the flyer Discord had procured and asking Scootaloo in an excited tone throughout the journey what they should do first much to Scootaloo annoyance as she had tried to nap.
“HALT, who goes there?” a voice suddenly cut into Scootaloo’s thoughts.
To Scootaloo’s great relief they had finally reached one of the turrets where a man dressed, of course, as a knight was ready to greet them.
“Hail sir knight. I am the wizard Discord on a quest to bring the fair maiden Guinevere to Camelot from Hogwartia. These five strangely dressed peasants are her entourage. The knights Sir Scoti of Equestria, Sir Bloom of Appleford and Sir Roland of Nottingshire along with her maids Miss Belle and Miss Granger.”
Scootaloo was unsure whether to drop dead in embarrassment or piss herself laughing at the look on Sweetie’s face after being referred to as Ginny’s maid. Hermione did not look at all pleased with being referred to as such either.
“MAID!” Sweetie retorted incredulously with a look towards Discord that would have sent most mortal men running to the hills in fear.
“Silence maid or I shall have you flogged for your insubordination upon our arrival,” Ginny responded haughtily deciding to play her part.
This was all too much for Scootaloo who couldn’t help let out a snort of amusement through a cupped hand as Sweetie turned and redirected her glower towards Ginny.
While Scootaloo attempted to prevent an argument from breaking out between her two friends the knight was busy replying to Discord’s request. After tapping his nose mysteriously, he replied, “Say no more. You and the fair maiden may pass for free but there shall be a toll of two gold pieces for each of her entourage. Oh wait, is it that young man’s birthday as well?” the knight added breaking character for a moment and pointing to the circular number twelve badge on Scootaloo’s T-shirt, the girl herself attempting desperately with Ron to stop Sweetie from throttling Ginny. “If so, make that nine gold pieces sir and I hope he has a great birthday with us today.
Despite even more humiliation on her birthday, this time Scootaloo was somewhat relieved as it had at least distracted Sweetie long enough for her to calm down. Instead, the unicorn girl was now giggling away uncontrollably at Scootaloo’s misfortune of being mistaken for a boy.
“Indeed, it is and thank you, sir knight,” Discord meanwhile replied whilst paying the wizard in knight’s clothing the nine galleons entry fee.
“Enjoy your time in Camelot mighty wizard and I hope you are able to get the fair maiden to the castle safely!” The wizard commented placing the money into his till before handing Discord his seven entrance tickets.
“Thank you again and keep up the good work,” Discord replied once more rounding up the gaggle of miscreants under his charge and ushering them one by one through the turnstile in front of them.
The Park itself was divided into six parts separated across a number of fields with the castle at the centre of it all atop a hill. To their right was a number of themed funfair rides and side stalls, the latter of which eager employees were doing their utmost to tempt passers by into spending some extra money. Behind the funfair was, according to the map in the flyer Discord had procured, some gardens and a magical hedge maze that had moving walls! This wrapped around the back of the castle and merged with the so-called mythical zoo. Then, to the left of the castle after the zoo were a picnic area, a large tent for shows and special events and right next to them in a temporary building was “YE OLDE GIFT SHOP AND FIRST AID STATION” along with one of several toilet blocks dotted around the theme park. There were also some slides coming down one side of the hill on which the castle sat
“So,” Discord enquired looking down at his daughter. “It’s your special day Scoti. Where would you like to start?”
As if on cue A loud voice over a speaker system boomed, “LAST CALL FOR THE ELEVEN O’CLOCK SHOWING OF THE SWORD IN THE STONE!”
Ginny gave her cousin an imploring look.
Scootaloo shrugged her shoulders. “Sure, why not, it’s as good a place as…” Scootaloo never finished he sentence as Ginny grabbed her arm and dragged her at lightning pace towards the big show tent. “GINNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY!” Scootaloo screeched as the rest of the misfit group followed at a more leisurely pace trying not to laugh.
*
To Scootaloo’s surprise, for amateur dramatics and a show intended for a younger audience with a run time of only thirty minutes, it actually wasn’t half bad. The story had been a little bit simplified and made a little silly at times for the targeted audience but the magic had been cleverly worked in so that the muggles watching simply thought it was the use of special effects and there had been enough of a plot to keep even her friends and her engrossed throughout.
As a rapturous applause died down, the wizard playing Merlin coughed to gain everyone’s attention in the tent and then said, “Thank you, thank you, you are all too kind. Now, before you all depart, we would just like to offer one lucky audience member the opportunity to come down to the front for a special surprise. How might you ask are we going to decide upon this special someone? Well, to start with we would like to ask if anyone is lucky enough to have their birthday today? Raise your hand nice and high if you do.”
Crap. The last thing Scootaloo wanted was…
“OVER HERE!” Hermione bellowed with a wicked smirk spread across her face as she stood up next to Scootaloo at the back of the tent where they were sitting and started pointing dramatically at Scootaloo.
Double crap. Well maybe someone else had their birthday today and she wouldn’t be forced to…
“Looks like we’ve only one lucky child this time. Don’t be shy. Come on up and bring someone with you who you would like to dish out some punishment to today in the stocks!”
Hermione’s smirk instantly dropped from her face as a set of stocks was rolled out onto the stage.
Scootaloo looked up at her girlfriend with a devilish smirk of her own before she said sardonically as she rose from the bench they were sitting on, “Well then, that is a nice surprise. Care to join me Hermione?”
*
After absolutely pelting her poor girlfriend with wet sponges for almost five minutes, Scootaloo’s misgivings about her father’s choice of activity for her birthday had, for now at least, been quashed. After the show, to give Hermione some time to dry off, they had visited the mythical creature zoo which, according to the flyer, contained an array of rare, magical, and mythical creatures. A few of these, like the jackalope, kneazle, thestral (according to Scootaloo and Bloom), poisonous duck and phoenix, had clearly been real but considering they were surrounded by so many others that were clearly fake, such as a unicorn that was no more than a horse with a horn taped to its head, a puffskein that was a hedgehog and a grim that was nothing more than an ordinary black dog, it was unlikely any muggle would actually believe the real ones to be real. Discord had explained this to the six children in a low whisper as they giggled at a so-called griffin that was nothing more than a European wildcat with a hose attached to its tail along with a pair of ridiculously fake-looking wings taped to its side. He had gone on to explain how, under the guise of a theme park, the park secretly operated as a vital sanctuary for sick and injured magical creatures throughout the United Kingdom and Ireland.
After nearly an hour of visiting the intentionally obvious fakes in the mythical zoo, it had been time for the lunch Molly had so kindly packed into a rucksack that Discord was carrying. The rucksack thankfully had been modified with an enlargement charm as to no one’s surprise Molly had packed them an absurd amount of food and drink, as if they were going camping on Dartmoor for the weekend or something similar. Following on from lunch they had gone up the hill to explore the castle, which in truth had been rather disappointing. Aside from the front wall, the rest of the castle was little more than ruins while the so-called dungeons that they had mentioned consisted of just one cell, a long-ago roof collapse having completely blocked off any opportunity at further exploration underground. On the plus side Scootaloo did get to witness Hermione jump in fright and her girlfriend’s hair stick on end as a ghost unexpectedly appeared through the dungeon wall right in front of her. The ghost had gone on to remove his head and then tell everyone his name, Patrick-Delaney Podmore along with his rather gruesome death story. Many of the muggles had oooed and ahhed at the ghost, stating how the projection was extremely realistic and that the speakers were very well hidden. Scootaloo and her friends of course knew better.
They had spent a good half an hour exploring the ruins and gardens before heading to the entrance of the magical hedge maze where they all now stood awaiting Scootaloo’s instructions.
“Right girls and Roland who looks like one,” Scootaloo stated.
“HEY!” Ron interjected as the girls all sniggered.
Scootaloo ignored him. “So, here’s how it is going to go down. Apple Bloom and Ron, sorry, Roland you are team Pink Lady.”
“OH, COME ON.” Ron exclaimed crossing his arms and pouting as the girls all let out snorts of amusement.
Scootaloo again chose to ignore him. “Sweetie Belle and Hermione are team Egghead. Ow, that hurt,” Scootaloo grimaced rubbing the back of her head where Hermione had slapped her before continuing. “And that leaves me and Princes Guinevere as Team Awe…”
“Princess Pansies,” Hermione interrupted.
“Hey no, we’re team…” Scootaloo tried to rectify only for Hermione to interrupt her again.
“All in favour of that name?”
“Aye,” everyone else aside Scootaloo and Ginny agreed.
“Eugh, fine. Team Princess Pansies,” Scootaloo conceded forcing the words out of her mouth. “Anyway, moving on, the last team out buys whatever the first team out wants from the gift shop up to the value of two galleons or ten pounds in muggle money. Discord is at the exit and will be the overall judge. No use of magic of any sort shall be permitted. Agreed?”
Another chorus of “Aye,” went round the small group.
“Then without further ado, 3, 2, 1, GO!”
The six children raced into the maze in their pairs.
*
Fifteen minutes later, Scootaloo and Ginny were hopelessly lost. The flyer hadn’t been kidding when it had stated it was the most difficult hedge maze to navigate in Britain. Of course, the moving walls didn’t help. As soon as they decided to move one way the walls would shift and they would be forced into taking a different direction. For the past fifteen minutes it had felt the whole maze had been mocking them and making them go around in circles.
“I’m sure we came this way before,” Ginny asserrted as they turned a corner.
“How can you tell, all the hedges in this damn…” Scootaloo stopped what she was about to say as she saw what was ahead of them, the entrance.
Fifteen minutes and they’d gotten literally nowhere.
“Mother Fucker” Scootaloo swore before sighing and turning to Ginny. “Come on, let’s try this direction,” Scootaloo suggested pointing down another path and trudging back into the depths of the maze.
*
Elsewhere in the maze team Pink Lady weren’t faring much better.
“EUGH,” Apple Bloom groaned. “This bucking maze is a nightmare!”
“Agreed,” Ron replied as the walls moved once more blocking their path. “Guess we’ll…” he halted mid-sentence as he did a full three sixty degree turn to ensure it wasn’t a mirage.
There was nowhere to go. Four hedgerows loomed up on all four sides of them.
“…Or not,” he said a little nervously wondering how long it would be before the walls moved again and they could proceed. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck in this maze all afternoon!
Apple Bloom though was no longer in the mood for playing by the maze’s rules. “Right, that does it. “I’m pretty sure we came in from that direction, so the exit must be in the opposite direction.”
“Makes sense,” Ron replied not liking the tone of Apple Bloom’s voice. “What did you have…hey, what are you doing!” Ron exclaimed as Apple Bloom lifted him up and threw him over her right shoulder.
“Improvising,” Apple Bloom replied. “If the rules state I can’t use my Earth pony magic to make the walls move out of our way, then we’ll have to go with plan B.”
“Dare I ask what’s plan B?” Ron enquired knowing that no matter what, he’d regret the answer he would receive.
“CHARGE!” Apple Bloom cried racing head first into one of the hedgerows.
Ron screamed.
*
“OH, YOU ARE MOTHER FU…” Scootaloo began to scream only for Ginny to shove a hand over her mouth and point to some younger children entering the maze with their parents.
Scootaloo took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down. Ten minutes had passed since her and Ginny’s second attempt at navigating the maze had begun. The entrance to the maze once more lay before them.
As Ginny removed her hand from Scootaloo’s mouth, the latter spoke in a much more civil and calm manner than previously, even if a little forced. “Thanks Ginny. Okay, one more time. This time, you lead. Maybe that’ll help.”
*
Hermione and Sweetie grinned at each other as they saw the exit to the maze appear in front of them. It had taken them forty-five minutes to do so but through logical thinking and deductions they had finally made it. And considering how difficult it had been to navigate the maze successfully, the chances of either of the other groups beating them was next to zero.
“Victory is…” Sweetie Belle cackled only to be interrupted mid-sentence.
“What kept you? We’ve been waiting fifteen minutes,” Apple Bloom deadpanned standing next to Discord, her hair and clothes covered in twigs, leaves and what even looked like a bird’s nest.
Ron lay on the floor on her other side completely out of it and covered in just as many twigs and leaves.
“How?” Sweetie exclaimed in disbelief. “We used every ounce of our combined brain power to navigate that maze successfully and it took us forty-five minutes. There’s absolutely no way you could have done it quicker without cheating.” She looked imploringly up at Discord.
“Apple Bloom’s methods although frowned upon were not strictly against the rules as she used no magic,” Discord deadpanned taking a sip of water from a bottle.
“B-b-but how then?” Sweetie asked again.
“She walked straight through fourteen hedgerows to find me,” Discord deadpanned pointing to an Apple Bloom shaped hole in the outer wall of the maze that was slowly shrinking as the magic imbued into the maze fixed the damage the girl and her human battering ram had caused.
“What? I was just using my ingenuity,” Apple Bloom retorted with a cheeky grin and a shrug of her shoulders. “Not like Ron was going to be much help otherwise,” the girl stated bluntly.
“Twigs!” Ron mumbled from the floor.
Sweetie’s forehead met her right hand. “Why am I not surprised. What is it you are always telling us? If at first you don’t succeed, whack it and hope for the best.”
“Eeeeyupp,” Apple Boom replied with a giggle. “And don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. This is the second time it’s worked after the DADA exam.”
Sweetie rolled her eyes. “I suppose I should just look at the positive, we didn’t come last. How long do you think until Scootaloo and Ginny make it out?”
“Personally, I think we’re in for a long wait,” Apple Bloom replied quite frankly.
“Seriously Bloom, you think that poorly of my navigation skills?” Scootaloo’s voice said questioningly as she came round one of the corners of the maze with Ginny.
“Oh? Then might I ask why you have gone around the maze and not through it as originally agreed upon?” Apple Bloom responded turning to face her friend with a questioning gaze
“Ah, yeah, about that…” Scootaloo began skittishly looking desperately around for some excuse not to answer the question.
“Pfft,” Ginny giggled next to Scootaloo. “We ended up back at the entrance three times. On the final occasion we decided to just give up and walk around the maze though I initially thought Scootaloo was going to burn the whole maze down her arm and hair were sparking so much in anger at the maze’s audacity to send us round in circles for forty minutes. I had to tell an inquisitive nearby muggle family that the sparks were due to static electricity build up caused as a result of her prosthetic arm!”
“Ginnyyyyyyyy,” Scootaloo whined as a smug smirk appeared on Apple Bloom’s face whilst everyone else chortled as the image of Sparkyloo popped into their heads.
“What? You know Apple Bloom would have only forced one of us to tell the truth in the end anyway. And I preferably don’t want to be thrown through a hedge today like it looks like she’s already done to my brother,” Ginny retorted pointing at Ron who had passed out once more on the grass next to Apple Bloom.
“Good guess but it was fourteen hedges not one,” Apple Bloom replied, the smug smirk on her face growing ever wider.
Both Ginny’s and Scootaloo’s eyes shot open in alarm.
“On this occasion cous, you made an excellent decision,” Scootaloo whispered into Ginny’s ear before turning to Apple Bloom. “Okay, I’ll admit it. My navigation skills are awful,” Scootaloo accepted with a chuckle while holding up her hands in defeat. “Now, who else wants to have a go on the rollercoaster?”
Everyone aside Apple Bloom and Ron cheered as they followed Scootaloo towards the section of the park with all the rides.
“Sneaky,” Apple Bloom grumbled under breath as she dragged Ron up from the floor and heaved him onto her back.
“Twigs!” Ron exclaimed once more. This time it was followed by a deranged laugh before he again fell into unconsciousness slumped over Apple Bloom’s back.
“Need a hand?” Discord enquired coming up next to Apple Bloom and placing a hand atop the girl’s head.
“Haha,” Apple Bloom said sardonically as Discord’s left hand, which he’d pulled off with his right before placing atop her head, started to scuttle around. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll be fine. I’ve carried bushels of apples heavier,” she grunted as she started to follow her friends.
“Suit yourself,” Discord replied with a shrug of his shoulders before retrieving his left hand from atop Apple Bloom’s head and following the girl as they attempted to catch up to the rest of their motley crew.
*
“What hit me,” Ron moaned as he finally awoke and spat a leaf out of his mouth
ROAR!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, NOT AGAIN,” Ron screamed as he noticed the giant red dragon breathing fire right in front of him, memories of Norbert he would rather have remained repressed flashing across his mind.
Then he heard the stifled giggle next to him and a voice he knew only to well. “Discord thought the rollercoaster might wake you up. He also expected your reaction to be hilarious if you did,” Apple Bloom tittered next to Ron. “Now, hold on, we’re about to… AAAAAWESOOOOOOME!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Ron screamed as the rollercoaster suddenly dropped from a ridiculous height at breakneck speed.
*
“That was awesome! Anyone else want to go again?” Scootaloo enquired her hair and arm sparking from the adrenaline rushing through her body as they exited the rollercoaster.
“NO!” Ron and Sweetie exclaimed in unison.
Sweetie’s face especially was looking a little green.
“Hmm, good idea. Let’s see what other rides there are first and then come back to the rollercoaster again before we leave,” Scootaloo said with a wicked smile as she turned to face Hermione. “So, what other rides does this park have for us to try out?”
Being the only muggle-born in the group, Hermione was the only one to have seen and witnessed such rides before, Ginny and Ron being too young to remember their previous visit to Camelot. Thus, Scootaloo had asked her girlfriend to decipher the map on the flyer to see what rides would be suitable for them.
“Hmm,” Hermione replied deep in thought. “Most the rides seem to be aimed at younger kids. I’d say aside from the rollercoaster and the slides atop the hill, there are only four other rides we’d be interested in. The carousel, waltzer, dodgems and the pirate ship. What a pirate ship is doing in a medieval themed theme park is anybody’s guess but no matter. Where would you like to start?”
“I have literally no idea what any of those are so why don’t you choose the one you think would be best to start with,” Scootaloo replied.
“Okay then,” Hermione said with a devilish smile of her own. “The carousel it is.”
“Why am I suddenly regretting my decision to let you choose?” Scootaloo sighed looking up towards the heavens.
*
“This is so humiliating and feels just wrong. How did I ever let you talk me into this?” Scootaloo grumbled slamming her head into the mane of the metallic ornate horse Hermione had forced her to ride “Ouch,” she swiftly mumbled as some seriously cheesy and peppy music played in the background.
“I personally don’t see what the problem is?” Sweetie retorted on another horse to Scootaloo’s right before Hermione could on her horse to Scootaloo’s left. “I’m quite enjoying my pony ride. In fact, I think I’ll sing about it!”
“Scootaloo’s head immediately shot back up in alarm. “Don’t you…”
Sweetie wasn’t listening. “My little pony, my little pony, isn’t the world a lovely place?” she instead began to sing.
“My little pony, my little pony, everywhere you go a smiling face!” Hermione continued much to her own disbelief.
Scootaloo was trying desperately to keep her mouth sealed shut.
“Smiling and skipping, merrily tripping,” Ron added in the carriage he and Apple Bloom were riding in behind the three girls.
“Watching the morning unfold, my little pony, my little pony,” Apple Bloom continued before all eyes fell upon Scootaloo.
“What does the future hold?” the girl finally conceded defeat as her mouth finally won the battle to open up and join in the impromptu musical number.
“Jolly and Present,” Sweetie continued as Scootaloo groaned to the heavens praying for the ride to end.
*
“Finally,” Scootaloo said with a huge sigh of relief as they exited the carousel after no fewer than three songs. “I thought it would never end!”
“The ride or Sweetie’s singing?” Apple Bloom sniggered.
“HEY!” Sweetie exclaimed indignantly.
“Both,” Scootaloo replied to Apple Bloom’s query ignoring Sweetie’s interjection.
“HEY!” Sweetie exclaimed indignantly once more sending a sharp glower in the direction of her two best friends. “My singing was sublime and you know it,” she huffed.
“If you were a cat maybe,” Scootaloo joked.
“Takes one to know one,” Sweetie retorted sticking out her tongue at Scootaloo as she had a quick look around. Her horn started to glow green.
A moment later Scootaloo stared wide eyed down at the furry little nose and whiskers her friend had craftily transfigured hers into. Sweetie meanwhile had disappeared into the crowd of families that surrounded them.
Apple Bloom couldn’t help but snigger some more. “You asked for that one Cataloo,” she retorted.
Scootaloo looked up from examining her new nose and whiskers and slowly a grin grew across her face as she looked across at her friend’s face.
“What?” Apple Bloom asked, her sniggering immediately stopping.
“You know how we were wondering where Sweetie’s been disappearing to a lot these holidays?” Scootaloo replied. “And why she always seems to have her head stuck in that overly large book of hers?”
“Yes,” Apple Bloom replied stoically.
“Well, I think we just found the answer Kitty Bloom,” Scootaloo chuckled in response.
Apple Bloom’s eyes immediately looked down and finally noticed the whiskers and furry nose that now adorned her own face.
“Woah, transfiguring two people at the same time! I didn’t even think that was possible,” Hermione gushed in admiration of Sweetie’s magical prowess, her eyes darting from Scootaloo to Apple Bloom and back again.
“It certainly won’t be again when I get my hands on her,” Apple Bloom growled in reply. “Come on, even if I have to tear down the castle’s last remaining wall, I am going to find her and get her back for… MIAOW!” she suddenly let slip before she was able to cover her mouth.
And just like that the tension was broken as everybody aside Apple Bloom doubled over with laughter at the poor girl’s expense.
*
Sweetie gulped nervously sandwiched in between Scootaloo and Apple Bloom in one of the large circular carriages of the waltzer. Both still had the nose and whiskers of a cat.
It had not surprised Sweetie in the slightest that her two best friends had hunted her down so quickly. What had unnerved her was the fact that neither of them had said a word as Apple Bloom had dragged her onto this ride. She had expected some kind of repercussion for her punishment but so far none had been forthcoming and the waiting was driving her insane.
“Okay gals, so you caught and forced me to go on this ride with you,” Sweetie finally blurted unable to hold her tongue anymore. “Are you going to enlighten me on how that’s a punishment for my actions or am I going to have to wait and see?” she asked as the ride operator came over and secured them into their carriage by lowering a metal bar over each of their heads.
Scootaloo looked at Bloom with a malevolent looking grin. Sweetie did not like that one bit and her natural instincts immediately kicked in telling her to flee. Of course, now tightly strapped into the ride, there was nowhere she could run.
“Shall I tell her or let her work it out for herself?” Scootaloo asked Apple Bloom.
“Let’s tell her. I want to see her struggle,” Apple Bloom replied with an equally malevolent grin.
Seeing the look on Apple Bloom’s face, Sweetie instantly knew she was well and truly bucked.
“I’ll put it nice and simply for you,” Scootaloo began to explain as the ride started to move. “This ride, according to Hermione, features individual carriages that go round in a large circle via some track-like mechanism. The fun part is that each carriage features a disc in the middle that when spun spins the carriage round on its axis. The faster the disc is spun, the faster the carriage spins, like the roundabout we used to play on in the playground outside the schoolhouse back in Ponyville. And you remember how fast Apple Bloom could spin that, don’t you?”
Sweetie desperately began to struggle against her restraints. “No, please. I’ll transfigure you back,” she squeaked in desperation. “I’ll accept my singing is awful. I’ll do anything. Just please don’t let Apple Bloom spin that disc!”
“Too late. You should have thought about that before pranking us. I’d suggest holding on tightly, things are about to get dizzy,” Scootaloo said evilly.
Sweetie looked on with pure horror spread across her face as Apple Bloom grabbed hold of the disc in the centre of their carriage and, with all her strength, spun it.
The world became no more than a blur of colours for Sweetie for the next two and a half minutes.
*
“BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH,” Sweetie groaned as the last remains of her lunch landed in the bush she had swiftly run to after the carriage had finally come to a standstill.
“BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH,” Ron groaned next to her as the last remains of his lunch likewise landed in the bush.
Although not as powerful as Apple Bloom, Hermione’s love of thrills coupled with Ginny’s enthusiasm and a lack of coordination between the both of them had equalled a very bumpy ride for poor Ron as the carriage he was in with the two girls constantly spun one way, suddenly and quite violently jerked to a halt and then spun the other way throwing him all over the place as it did so. By the end of the ride, Ron had raced to the bush nearly as quickly as Sweetie had.
“Hmm, I’m not sure those two are going to be up for anymore rides,” Apple Bloom giggled still sporting her cat nose and whiskers.
“You think?” Scootaloo, likewise still sporting her cat nose and whiskers, chuckled sarcastically next to her. “Hey, you two. We’re going to head on over to the dodgems. When you’re done puking your guts up, come meet us there,” Scootaloo called to Sweetie and Ron.
“O-o-okay,” Sweetie stammered in reply before immediately turning back to the bush to continue depositing what little remained of her lunch.
“Awesome, now that that’s sorted, the rest of us can go continue having some fun!” Scootaloo exclaimed rubbing her hands together with glee. “Hermione, lead on to these so-called dodgems!”
*
“So, that’s why you also referred to them as bumper cars. Did you really have to hit mine so many times? It feels like I’ve got bruises all over my body,” Scootaloo groaned as they departed the dodgems.
“Well, you should have dodged mine better then,” Hermione replied in a snarky tone.
“It was my first time using one of those bizarre contraptions. You could have least given me a little bit of leeway,” Scootaloo retorted in return.
“Hmm, let me see, nope,” Hermione replied with a giggle. “I did offer for us to go in one together like Apple Bloom and Ginny but you refused, so it’s your own fault.”
“Oh, I’d rather you didn’t bring up those two,” Scootaloo grumbled rubbing her very sore lower back.
“Well, as Hermione pointed out, the whole point of the ride is to dodge other people’s cars and to put it bluntly, you were fucking shit at it,” Apple Bloom deadpanned causing Hermione to double over with laughter.
“Wow, thanks Bloom for not even trying to sugarcoat it a little. Even so, I think hitting my car so hard it toppled onto its side at the end there might have been a little bit of overkill. The ride operator certainly wasn’t happy with us,” Scootaloo replied sardonically.
“Wasn’t my fault you didn’t…” Apple Bloom stopped mid-sentence as she heard one of the side hustlers yell nearby.
“ROLL UP, ROLL UP, TRY YOUR LUCK ON THE HIGH STRIKER AND WIN A PRIZE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HIT THE LEVER WITH ENOUGH FORCE THAT THE PUCK HITS THE BELL AT THE TOP! IT’S AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS!”
“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom suddenly growled in such a tone that sent shivers down Scootaloo’s spine. “You know you owe me something from the gift shop. Change of plan. It’s time to teach someone a lesson they’ll not forget in a hurry.”
*
Richard Lest looked over the peculiar group of six children with a quizzical eye, from the boy with pink hair to the two with cat masks over their faces for some reason. He soon dismissed the way they were dressed though as it wasn’t his place to question and he was having a bad enough day so far as it was. He was supposed to be the manager overseeing the fairground section of the park yet due to four staff pulling sickies he had been stuck manning the high striker and the bucking bronco ride simultaneously whilst also dealing with any issues that arose on any other rides across this section of the park. To his relief, aside from a couple of incidents on the waltzer and dodgems which sounded like nothing more than kids being kids, the day had so far gone all right and without any major hiccups. No rides had broken down, no kids had thrown up on them, no visitors had acted aggressively towards his staff and there had been no overcrowding. So, overall, considering how today had started, it was actually going alright. He had also taken a fair amount of money on both the rides without giving away even one prize, sticking the magical resistance on the high striker to maximum whilst also putting the bucking bronco into its most challenging setting. He knew that was technically wrong of him and against the park’s owners moral code but he didn’t care. As far as Richard saw it, life wasn’t fair; get over it. So, you couldn’t win your darling daughter that giant plush unicorn she’s pining for, tough, not my problem, you should have been stronger. As far as Richard was concerned, every passer-by was a sucker from which to squeeze money out of. Take this party here. He should lower the magical resistance on the high striker a bit and let them win a small prize for their troubles. Would he? No. Because it would be much more fun for him to see them struggle to raise the puck even an inch.
“One of you fancy a go? Three attempts for two pounds,” he said enticingly in an attempt to draw them in. “Many different prizes to win. And if you do manage to hit the bell at the top you win one of the grand prizes from the top shelf behind me.”
Richard dramatically highlighted the top shelf behind him with the mallet as Apple Bloom stepped forward.
“I’ll only need the one attempt thank you,” she growled handing over the money she’d borrowed from Hermione while snatching the mallet out of Richard’s other hand.
Apple Bloom went straight over to the machine and slammed the mallet down with all her might. The puck sailed to the top and shattered as it collided with the bell. The bell itself flew off and landed at Richard’s feet while at the base of the high striker Apple Bloom had hit the lever with such force the whole mechanism had buckled and crumpled. Simply put, the high striker was now little more than scrap metal.
Richard stared at the girl mouth agape unsure just what to say. “My machine,” he finally whimpered as Apple Bloom pointed at the giant plush unicorn that was bigger than her on the top shelf.
“I believe you will find that I won that fair and square even if you were not acting in such an honest manner,” the girl stated flatly as Richard started to regain her composure and turned on the girl.
“You little brat. I don’t know how you did it but I’ll make your parents pay for that,” he growled threateningly.
“For what? I simply hit the lever hard enough so that the puck hit the bell. It’s not my fault you put such a strong resistance charm on it. That’s your fault, not mine,” Apple Bloom said flatly once more.
Richard’s eyes went wide and he suddenly took a better look at the group. Now that he looked a little more closely, those cat faces weren’t masks and that pink hair was almost certainly not caused from hair dye. These weren’t ordinary muggle children. Fuck. He was going to be in so much trouble with his superiors. Still, maybe there was chance he could still somehow manage to wangle his way out of this situation.
“Something wrong?” Discord’s voice cooed softly as he abruptly appeared behind the children.
And just like that any remaining hope Richard had of getting the children’s parents to pay for the damage evaporated.
*
After the high striker incident Discord had decided to call it a day despite Scootaloo’s protestations that they still hadn’t tried out the pirate ship or been on the rollercoaster for a second time.
Discord’s reply had simply been, “I think we’ve caused enough chaos for one day.”
This had immediately shut Scootaloo up and as such the six children, one adult and one newly acquired ginormous rainbow coloured unicorn plush had once more piled into Mr Weasley’s car and departed for home. Surprisingly, the trip home seemed to take longer than the trip to the theme park despite them squeezing past muggle traffic as if it wasn’t there. Scootaloo though, exhausted from her day out, didn’t notice. Almost as soon as she’d landed in the car she had fallen asleep, only to be awoken an hour or so later when Apple Bloom gave her a shove.
“Oy, wake up sleepy head,” Apple Bloom quipped as she did so. “We’re back.”
“Already?” Scootaloo said sleepily followed by a yawn. “What time is it?”
“Nearly dinner time I believe. Come on, I bet Molly has got something special lined up for your birthday.
That, she did. Scootaloo had barely walked into the Burrow before the tantalising aroma of roast beef, chicken galantine, and boiled sheep's head hit her nostrils. Aunt Molly must have been cooking all day! Drawn towards the kitchen, Scootaloo had barely walked in before everyone pounced on her with party poppers in hand.
“SURPRISE!” Molly, the twins, Hermione, Sweetie, Ginny, Mr Weasley, Percy, Ron, Discord and most surprisingly Fluttershy all yelled as one as Scootaloo was covered head to toe in confetti.
Slowly a warm smile crossed over Scootaloo’s face and then she laughed. On the balance of things, this had actually been probably the best birthday she’d ever had so far. And it still wasn’t over!